Do dominant men prefer very submissive and feminine women? Or challenging assertive women?

Question

Not a doormat. If something hurts me, ill let my partner know but I'm just way more comfortable letting someone else make final decisions on a lot of things. My ex was the same and looked to me to solve problems and make all the plans and it was stressful. I also dont feel wanted if the guy wants me to plan dates and show affection first. Im very loving and not afraid to be vulnerable with the guy Im with, but I like him to initiate and kind of court me first. My ex did that but then switched on me. I need a guy who is strong where I'm not and I typically look up to dominant men. But someone said dominant guys prefer a challenge and really assertive girls. Basically more dominant girls and thats definitely not me. Im softer, I will ask questions but not really challenge too often. I dont argue much because I think having conversation is better, I like peace, and I always assume that I may just not be understanding someones perspective and just need to talk to them to try and see where they are coming from instead of fighting or assuming the worst. I do tend to put the guys needs before my own, but usually thats because im more go with the flow and comfortable following his lead and exploring where that takes me. Im pretty independent so I have time to do my own thing when I'm on my own. With other people, I like to release control and take a back seat and enjoy the ride. I feel like the pro with submissive girls is we listen to our men and really care about making them happy. Making him happy is a huge part of what makes me happy. Thats why I tried to be more assertive for my ex - its what he wanted and needed. I hated it and would never do it again, but I understand my actions. My ideal is way more "my man is head of the household" just because I'm more of a follower and a nurturer than a decision maker, planner, or captain of the ship.

tenukitanuki · Accepted Answer

Both. A dominant man tends to develop many categories of dominance and taste. The strong women tend to remark, frequently, about how little you care about being told shit in the middle of sex. It's literally just a direction and there is 0 intimidation from it, which I suppose they get from other men; "uh hesitation, is this ok? uh honey buns? hm? pookie pie?" fuck that shit do what it do, let the monkey out. If she says turn it up or move left, fuckin move left real quick and stop hearing that noise get back to the real music: "fuck! shit! omg! whathefuck! jesus! damni-fuck!" Listen to some 2LIVECREW until you can fuck right lol

But breaking out a submissive? mmm. It's all very similar to breaking down and remolding a union, making a woman feel like a real woman, showing them what it is to feel desired and taken with blind pleasure. Impact. You want to leave a dent in their ego and sign their cervix "XX was here, never 4getti" -- but many men and many women are simply looking for a strong guide through a period of their life, then another and maybe another until they're ready to be their own guide or take up the mantle for others like they were shown. That's what Freud was actually observing, the imprinting affects of our parents on how we seek sexual experience, unions and adventures. The only reason he blew it out of proportion, which is under-reported, is because his *star* disciple rejected the developmental theory almost entirely. Carl Jung just didn't have a taste for it at all and it drove Freud nuts, in part because he believed it to be so crucial, which is probably is. Many women seek father figures, compared and contrasted against all the fatherly figures she has ever known. Men do the same, literally with fathers as well. We compare stronger leaders in the world to our father and sometimes adopt them and their disciplines in favor over our fathers. And a mother's love is basically required to have any stability in a child whatsoever, otherwise they'll be more chaotic than nitro on a whore's mattress.

SuperManiac · Accepted Answer

I don't know if I qualify as so dominant. I at least test 97% dominant on some test but that was testing sexually. But I prefer "submissive-assertive" as I like to call it.

Whatever dominance I have is revolved around an eagerness to take on responsibilities and make decisions when it impacts us both. But a big part of my desire to step up to the plate here is still to make a decision that makes us both happy.

So it does me no good if the girl doesn't speak up. So I like submissive but assertive. If I use a crude analogy, it's like if I am a king, then my wife is my most trusted adviser. And she's trusted because she doesn't just tell me what I want to hear, or remain silent. She speaks up, albeit with some tact.

Warmapplecrumble · Accepted Answer

In bdsm submissive women are not door mats. You have a contract with the Dominant of what you will and not do.

Submissive in this sense is being used as someone who is very weak and dominant is being used a abuser. Its not a healthy relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You should always put your needs first. I think you’re doing that right now and you don’t even realize it. You don’t sound as submissive as you do lazy.

MrOracle · Answer

I'm a dominant man who prefers women like you, though I've been with a few who were assertive and wanted to be conquered. I can do that, but it's really not my preference. I'm a natural leader and decision-maker, but not a jerk about it. I enjoy taking care of my girl and having her take care of me.

Not every dominant guy is like that, though. Some are very selfish, some need a "challenge", some are too lazy to take charge, etc. So, like anything else, you have to find the kind that works for you.

TheMadAsshatter85 · Answer

It's very hard to generalize half of the population under one or two hats...

As far as the "power dynamic" goes- I'm not alpha but at the same time alphas annoy me. Do something to establish dominance/make a "power play"/"position" and I'll just think you're a douche that's concerned with petty sh*t. I just aim to be respectful/keep an open mind... and expect the same (unless i don't deserve it in whatever situation...)

What really cooks my goose is when someone claims to be one way, but then behaves otherwise... Don't delegate decision making to me, saying you don't care what decision I make... only to doubt/criticize/complain-about my decision...

If you DO care, SPEAK UP I can't read your mind.

Intraluminal · Answer

I think you're confusing "submissive" with "passive." You're passive. You may or may not be submissive, but they're not the same thing.

A submissive woman prefers a dominant man, not because she wants to avoid making decisions, but because she finds a man who's strong and in control, attractive. Submission typically extends to sexuality. A submissive woman enjoys being "forced" to do sexual things, or to do sexual things she would not otherwise be able to do for one reason or another. Submissive women frequently forced into submissive positions or acts.

However, submission has virtually nothing to do with her attitude TOWARD being submissive. Some are turned in by "fighting" against the Dom and being "forced" to submit. Others willingly submit. In either case, it's their submission that meets their needs and allows them to be themselves.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Challenging women are just pains in the asses. It is as if they always look for a damn argument to prove something. Assertive is one thing and I do appreciate assertive. Challenging is just an insecure ego I have zero interest in entertaining. I din't carefor sheepish/meek either.

TheKack · Answer

I prefer submissive women. I do like when the person I'm with communicates with me well, and i would never want her to feel subservient (unless it's play time and we're both understanding of what's going on), but a more traditional, more submissive role is attractive to me.

None of this is a priority for me, just a preference that's able to be bent or broken in lieu of other attributes.

KacchanExplosion · Answer

Both for me at least. If the women is submissive that's totally fine and less likely with altercations between each other. If she's dominant then I enjoy the challenges between each other and winning the challenges and I can make her submit to me.
I like the kinda woman that can kick my ass

Anonymous · Answer

Dominant men are usually afraid of dominant women because they can't control them.
In fact, some of the dominant men secretly want to be conquered by a dominant woman.
I've managed to convert two dominant guys into submissive, and they both liked it ;)

FakeName123 · Answer

Dominant and strong men prefer a woman who is strong herself, but decides to give the full trust into him. Meaning that the submissiveness is a choice and not a necessity.

Though usually it's something that also develops and kinda clicking between the two.

El_Heffe · Answer

I am a Dominant male who trains submissives. I am no sadist. I've never hurt anyone. D/s relationships are not about pain so much as expanding what gives a woman pleasure.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

"someone said dominant guys prefer a challenge and really assertive girls."

Did a woman tell you this? 😏

Its not true. Dominant typically seeks submissive and masculine seeks feminine. And vice versa.

AD240pCharlie · Answer

No, it's often the opposite. Of course everyone is different, but when it comes to romantic relationships, people tend to be more drawn to someone who's a contrast to themselves.

genericname85 · Answer

i'd say confident dominant men want a assertive girl that challenges them. insecure dominant men want a doormat/sexdoll that doesn't do anything.

OrangeBoy2 · Answer

I'm dom, but I like to boys and women with strong character and hands on type, I think they are a good partner to help raise the children right.

FrenchyRomain · Answer

as a dominant man i prefer submissive women in the bedroom but a strong woman outside the bedroom. Kinky in bed but assertive, challenging, strong and confident outside ^^

Plumyoudeep · Answer

My kind of woman. As long as your happy and love bring the naughty girl every woman has inside. I don't want a white for a woman but I love a woman that loves turning her man on no matter where or when

Anonymous · Answer

Dominance is a masculine trait, and submissiveness is a feminine trait. Two dominant personalities will never get along in a romantic relationship. So it should come as no surprise that masculine men prefer submissive women and feminine women prefer dominant men.

FYI, the user who said power couples are always two dominant people is a female with a blue account.

Expecto_patronads · Answer

Submissive. It's a pain in the asses having a power struggle in a relationship

megaman242 · Answer

I'm dominate, but I do prefer my sub to be a bit of a fight in them. Want them to have a mind of their own.

sidhesh · Answer

Yes dominant person needs stable and powerful women

NorthwestRider · Answer

They want a submissive bimbo princess while I am into dominant tomboys

Do dominant men prefer very submissive and feminine women? Or challenging assertive women?

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