When I used to be single I felt uncomfortable when being with couples or seeing them in public. But I never felt ashamed. Because no one (stranger people) knew that I was single. But I kind of felt not good being with my friends who had a boy/girlfriend.
Not quite ashamed but it doesn't do you much justice... either. It sucks it's hard to build relationships from scratch... bad experiences seem to haunted everybody n we always doubt the perfect person if front us.. we have trust issues and assume that they hurt us or lie cheat like the one before... suspicion. . n fear keep good people apart
Yes I do now sometimes 😒 when I m around my married friends. Or when someone is getting engaged or married. I feel awful. Last week my cousin got married and I participated in preparations but from inside I was feeling empty. And after wedding I was depressed. I feel stuck. Everything is fine but without love.
Absolutely not! I rather be single than dating a racist who is also going to hit me or hide our relationship from his family and friends, AKA a Portuguese man.
well I'm not single but I've always said I have no issues being alone until I meet the right man and I have no shame in that. I am kind of a loner and an introvert. I'm just glad I met him though cus he likes my shyness and loner life.
I dont think its anything to be ashamed off! you free to do what you will when you will and you have no one to report too.. you dont have to worry about saying the wrong thing to the wrong person or not doing things... you are free to be you
There is nothing to be 'ashamed' of being single. Sure, it sucks. We all need a partner and not having one can feel quite lonely or even frustrating... But it's not 'shameful' hell no.
I'm happy with who I am. Forget anyone that tries to make me feel otherwise.
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Not at all! That’s like saying you should feel ashamed for not wanting to just settle. If anything I’d say it’s the other way around. Why do so many people feel the need to settle just for the sake of it? Be brave enough to live your own authentic life.
Everyone settles in the end. We never get everything we want, and the sooner you accept that, the more you get. People like me who haven't settled yet only haven't because we aren't even worth settling for. It's shameful.
@SpearsAndStones everyone is worthy. And no not everyone settles, some are happier living their own lives their way, and others do find that one. If less people settled there’d probably be a lot less cheating on the flip side tbh.
Everyone has some value, but not when it comes to romance. I don't know how it is for women, but to have worth as a man you have a LOT of boxes you have to check, some of which are beyond your control, before you're even considered a "man". And not all men can be "men", because it's a competition. Not saying I like it, but that's the way it is. Women see me, best-case scenario, as a little boy who they need to patronize and protect. Worst-case, every single thing I do has some ulterior motive where I'm trying to get them to touch my pee pee. Either way, I have no value to women as a man. Maybe as a person, but I'm so despondent and depressed, that's even debatable.
@SpearsAndStones that sounds like things that are easily fixable with a little work tbh. TThe difference is are you going to look for excuses or crack on with improving yourself. We all have to do it, women too, just look at all the effort they go to to look good and get stable etc, regardless of most guys just wanting to use them for sex at a certain age, we all just keep going despite the knock backs until we eventually win. This is the key. You’re also wrong, some people do get their perfect person (perfection by the way is imperfection that is perfect to them). The lucky ones. I’d rather be in my own than settle personally.
I do work on myself, although it's been harder to muster motivation the past few months, but I work out, I travel, I have hobbies, I have a college degree, I went to therapy for ten years and nothing has changed. Meanwhile, it's never very difficult to find examples of men who think they are god's gift to Earth and NEVER work on themselves with several women's attentions. It seems to me that, as a man, if you admit you have to work on yourself, then you've already lost. Humility is not a "manly" attribute.
Men and women both want a team player. They need to know that when the chips are down you can take care of them too and it’s not all about them taking care of you. Lose the victim mentality and take ownership.
I am sorry, I shouldn't argue. I just lash out now and get mean online, because I'm redirecting all my internalized self-hatred outward. That said, I don't take back what I said about "putting the work in", being a carrot on a stick. The men to whom women pay the most attention (e. g. my father, my rapist, friends-of-friends) have never had to "put the work in."
I know plenty of men with a victim mentality who still attract women, e. g. "I didn't deserve to go to prison, the cops just had it out for me!" "Well, if that bitch wanted me to pay for her kids, then she should've listened!" And plenty of women too. A victim mentality doesn't really seem to be the common denominator amongst single men either.
@SpearsAndStones yeah but I bet the difference is that they don’t let it run their lives. Also, someone can feel something is unjustified without having a complete victim outlook. And would you say the women they have are quality? I’m not saying that is the common thing amongst single people and I didn’t say women didn’t have this ether. What I will say is that it does seem to be more apparent in people with depression and personality disorders, and it won’t get anyone with it very far.
I currently suffer with Codependency. I used to think I needed and must have a partner at all costs and I did that from 14 and on. It's been 10 years and I have been with 9 guys.
Today, I sigh in relief. I no longer have to be who I once.
I'm not ashamed for practicing singleness for a year at this time. I feel a whole weight lift from my shoulders.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Sometimes because it's such a high pressure on being in a relationship. I've been single for over 2 years now because i've rejected several men that I didn't feel any attraction for and of course also briefly dated men that things simply didn't work out with. I am not in a hurry though. I am very introverted and I enjoy being left alone
Eh... I am not happy about it. I am somewhat ashamed that I never had a real girlfriend. But I am not ashamed of being single. Im more saddened by it than anything because I have so many problems I need to fix, and its just taking so damn long.
No, no one is born married, you have to be single to get married. If you think marriage is like achieving a big goal, think again. In real marriage you are not supposed to be forced by yourself or your family or friends or enemies too. You have to smile, really smiling when you getting married. Time is everything, time is all.
I used to feel like and ugly loner and thought og being single would make me sad. Now, I don't care. I have a life to live, I have money to make and I have goals that need be achieved. .
Please don't feel like that! It can be sad to feel like you're missing affection and attention, but you'll find it someone someday. As sh-tty as I feel typing this, be happy with today.
Definitely not! But I hate the people around me that makes me feel ashame about it. They’d either be like «are u gay» or «you’ll get old and lonely and probably live with 12 cats if u dont get yourself a bf»🙄 full of bs
Poverty is much more shameful to me. I've been poor in the past. Being married or single is irrelevant to me. I remember what my parents were like before they divorced. I remember how happy they were. I would rather have plenty of money.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I used to feel bad.. yet after reflecting it better I understood society sells this idea of "love" in a relation-couple way, not from other dimensions aspect. If I believed that would be the only way of loving of course my life would be miserable and I'd feel bad. Yet things have changed and Im no longer afraid of saying it. :)
I love being single even though i might feel lonely or sad sometimes but at the end of the day I'm happy that I'm single and i don't have to worry about someone else when I'm having difficulty taking care of myself.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
237Opinion
When I used to be single I felt uncomfortable when being with couples or seeing them in public. But I never felt ashamed. Because no one (stranger people) knew that I was single. But I kind of felt not good being with my friends who had a boy/girlfriend.
❤️❤️❤️
Not quite ashamed but it doesn't do you much justice... either. It sucks it's hard to build relationships from scratch... bad experiences seem to haunted everybody n we always doubt the perfect person if front us.. we have trust issues and assume that they hurt us or lie cheat like the one before... suspicion. . n fear keep good people apart
The truest statement. Perfectly written.
Yes I do now sometimes 😒 when I m around my married friends. Or when someone is getting engaged or married. I feel awful. Last week my cousin got married and I participated in preparations but from inside I was feeling empty. And after wedding I was depressed. I feel stuck. Everything is fine but without love.
Absolutely not! I rather be single than dating a racist who is also going to hit me or hide our relationship from his family and friends, AKA a Portuguese man.
I feel like this is a thing that happened...
@bimmy5000 Yes, it happened, but fortunately it didn't happen to me.
I’m not ashamed of it, but I definitely would rather be in a relationship haha.
Lol 😆
well I'm not single but I've always said I have no issues being alone until I meet the right man and I have no shame in that. I am kind of a loner and an introvert. I'm just glad I met him though cus he likes my shyness and loner life.
I dont think its anything to be ashamed off! you free to do what you will when you will and you have no one to report too.. you dont have to worry about saying the wrong thing to the wrong person or not doing things... you are free to be you
❤️❤️❤️
There is nothing to be 'ashamed' of being single. Sure, it sucks. We all need a partner and not having one can feel quite lonely or even frustrating... But it's not 'shameful' hell no.
I'm happy with who I am. Forget anyone that tries to make me feel otherwise.
Not at all! That’s like saying you should feel ashamed for not wanting to just settle. If anything I’d say it’s the other way around. Why do so many people feel the need to settle just for the sake of it? Be brave enough to live your own authentic life.
Everyone settles in the end. We never get everything we want, and the sooner you accept that, the more you get. People like me who haven't settled yet only haven't because we aren't even worth settling for. It's shameful.
@SpearsAndStones everyone is worthy. And no not everyone settles, some are happier living their own lives their way, and others do find that one. If less people settled there’d probably be a lot less cheating on the flip side tbh.
Everyone has some value, but not when it comes to romance. I don't know how it is for women, but to have worth as a man you have a LOT of boxes you have to check, some of which are beyond your control, before you're even considered a "man". And not all men can be "men", because it's a competition. Not saying I like it, but that's the way it is. Women see me, best-case scenario, as a little boy who they need to patronize and protect. Worst-case, every single thing I do has some ulterior motive where I'm trying to get them to touch my pee pee. Either way, I have no value to women as a man. Maybe as a person, but I'm so despondent and depressed, that's even debatable.
And yeah, everyone settles. No one gets their "perfect person".
@SpearsAndStones that sounds like things that are easily fixable with a little work tbh. TThe difference is are you going to look for excuses or crack on with improving yourself. We all have to do it, women too, just look at all the effort they go to to look good and get stable etc, regardless of most guys just wanting to use them for sex at a certain age, we all just keep going despite the knock backs until we eventually win. This is the key.
You’re also wrong, some people do get their perfect person (perfection by the way is imperfection that is perfect to them). The lucky ones. I’d rather be in my own than settle personally.
I do work on myself, although it's been harder to muster motivation the past few months, but I work out, I travel, I have hobbies, I have a college degree, I went to therapy for ten years and nothing has changed. Meanwhile, it's never very difficult to find examples of men who think they are god's gift to Earth and NEVER work on themselves with several women's attentions. It seems to me that, as a man, if you admit you have to work on yourself, then you've already lost. Humility is not a "manly" attribute.
But I'm sorry, ignore me. I'm just a bitter pussy
@SpearsAndStones you’ve only lost if you allow yourself to be. And allowing others to define you will do that. Change your mindset, change your life.
Playing the victim will cause anyone to see you as someone that needs taking care of rather than a team partner.
Men and women both want a team player. They need to know that when the chips are down you can take care of them too and it’s not all about them taking care of you. Lose the victim mentality and take ownership.
I am sorry, I shouldn't argue. I just lash out now and get mean online, because I'm redirecting all my internalized self-hatred outward. That said, I don't take back what I said about "putting the work in", being a carrot on a stick. The men to whom women pay the most attention (e. g. my father, my rapist, friends-of-friends) have never had to "put the work in."
And if you’re really struggling then take the time you need first to be blue to get to that stage.
to be *able
I know plenty of men with a victim mentality who still attract women, e. g. "I didn't deserve to go to prison, the cops just had it out for me!" "Well, if that bitch wanted me to pay for her kids, then she should've listened!" And plenty of women too. A victim mentality doesn't really seem to be the common denominator amongst single men either.
@SpearsAndStones yeah but I bet the difference is that they don’t let it run their lives. Also, someone can feel something is unjustified without having a complete victim outlook. And would you say the women they have are quality?
I’m not saying that is the common thing amongst single people and I didn’t say women didn’t have this ether. What I will say is that it does seem to be more apparent in people with depression and personality disorders, and it won’t get anyone with it very far.
I currently suffer with Codependency.
I used to think I needed and must have a partner at all costs and I did that from 14 and on. It's been 10 years and I have been with 9 guys.
Today, I sigh in relief. I no longer have to be who I once.
I'm not ashamed for practicing singleness for a year at this time. I feel a whole weight lift from my shoulders.
Sometimes because it's such a high pressure on being in a relationship. I've been single for over 2 years now because i've rejected several men that I didn't feel any attraction for and of course also briefly dated men that things simply didn't work out with.
I am not in a hurry though. I am very introverted and I enjoy being left alone
Eh... I am not happy about it. I am somewhat ashamed that I never had a real girlfriend. But I am not ashamed of being single. Im more saddened by it than anything because I have so many problems I need to fix, and its just taking so damn long.
❤️❤️❤️
No, no one is born married, you have to be single to get married. If you think marriage is like achieving a big goal, think again. In real marriage you are not supposed to be forced by yourself or your family or friends or enemies too. You have to smile, really smiling when you getting married. Time is everything, time is all.
😊😊😊
Thanks
I used to feel like and ugly loner and thought og being single would make me sad. Now, I don't care. I have a life to live, I have money to make and I have goals that need be achieved. .
*of. I also meant to type "The though of being alone." Sorry, I was typing too fast.
😊😊😊
Yeah, I feel like there's something wrong with me, and it's embarrassing having not felt that someone really cared about me or liked me for me.
Among plenty other things.
Please don't feel like that! It can be sad to feel like you're missing affection and attention, but you'll find it someone someday. As sh-tty as I feel typing this, be happy with today.
Definitely not! But I hate the people around me that makes me feel ashame about it. They’d either be like «are u gay» or «you’ll get old and lonely and probably live with 12 cats if u dont get yourself a bf»🙄 full of bs
😖😖😖
Poverty is much more shameful to me. I've been poor in the past. Being married or single is irrelevant to me. I remember what my parents were like before they divorced. I remember how happy they were. I would rather have plenty of money.
I used to feel bad.. yet after reflecting it better I understood society sells this idea of "love" in a relation-couple way, not from other dimensions aspect. If I believed that would be the only way of loving of course my life would be miserable and I'd feel bad. Yet things have changed and Im no longer afraid of saying it. :)
I love being single even though i might feel lonely or sad sometimes but at the end of the day I'm happy that I'm single and i don't have to worry about someone else when I'm having difficulty taking care of myself.