My boyfriend is getting on my nerves?

[Anonymous]

He told me he’d come to a party with me, and then the day of, he told me he didn’t want to go. He then said that he wanted to hangout with his family because he hasn’t seen them, so, instead of the party he’d go to see them. I was upset because he shouldn’t have told me last minute he didn’t want to go, and secondly, it would have meant a lot if he came with me.

The whole night, this is where I thought he was. I thought he was with his family, because he seemed super concerned about seeing them.

I then find out, he didn’t go to see his family. He just stayed home. Which, of course bothers me, because he made it seem like seeing his family was very important to him, and that’s why he did not want to go to this party with me.

I am upset, because now he’s just being unreliable and it’s annoying to me. My friend invited him to the party, and i thought it would be nice for us both to go. Everyone was asking where my boyfriend was, and, I’m just appalled that he lied like that.

[Киттйлинк]

That stinks!
Usually I say leave him!
But I guess sometimes we just need to talk more (communication) let him know it bothered you... reach an agreement.. and so on... perhaps he is not a very social person and doesn’t like being around to many people.. I’m like that... but anyway if you can’t reach a common ground then it probably won’t workout between you two...

[Asker]

I am just annoyed he canceled last minute on me. I even mentioned “i think of you don’t come to the party, you won’t go see your family”. And I was right.

I’m annoyed because he won’t come to this party, but, he can go to some new club meeting today where he doesn’t know anyone.

But, he couldn’t come to this party with me?

[Lostinlve]

It sounds like he doesn’t have a great deal of respect for you and your feelings. Unless this is out of character and he didn’t realize how important it was to you? Why didn’t he spend time with his family? Was he lying to get out of going to your party or did his plans fall through last minute? How do you know he was sitting at home?

[Asker]

A few weeks ago, he told me no to plans for a small weekend trip, and then last minute he said he wanted to go. Like, two days before the trip. He did realize it was important to me, because we had a talk about it the day of, when he told me he did not want to go. I don’t know why he didn’t want to go, he said because I only know the one person (she’s an old friend) and the others I have met once with my boyfriend at a previous party. It bothered me a lot, because I know he’s gone to events with his friends in the past where he didn’t know anyone. But yeah, he had a good time at the last party we went to of her’s. And, I don’t know why he didn’t end up going to see his family. He told me when I asked him if went to see them last night, “i wanted to go see them, I realized it’d be better to go today”. The thing is, he’d be getting there around the same time as he would have yesterday. I am assuming he just stayed at home, alone.

Anyways. I told him, “i know you aren’t even going to see your family if you don’t come to the party” and he disagreed. But, I was right!

[Asker]

I’m just annoyed. I felt hurt he didn’t come through for me and support me at the party. And I am upset I was basically blindsided the day of.

[Lostinlve]

Sometimes on relationships we have to do things we don’t want to to make another person happy. And sometimes we need to accept if someone really doesn’t want to do something we should respect that. If he consistently lets you down like this and isn't willing to compromise for your happiness consider if that’s the type of relationship you want because he probably won’t change. If he’s not like this often then maybe you should be the one to compromise in this situation and drop it.

[Asker]

My idea, is that, for your partner, you will do things with them/for them, especially if they feel they need support. I would have really liked for him to be there. He even said he realizes it means a lot to me. I didn’t want to force him to come. But, it’s like, he did tell me he’d come, my friend was expecting him, and she invited him. And, everyone was asking where he was. They all remembered him from last time!

He said “i don’t feel as inclined to go, because you are only close to the one person. If it was all your friends, I’d feel more inclined to go.”

I texted him that I was annoyed he didn’t even end up going to see his family. I took your advice and told him “ok i can understand you think it’d be better to go today”. But, still. It is upsetting. Because, he could have came to the party!

But, this makes me feel like I do not want to do anything with him/for him. I know it’s petty. But, I have done a lot for him, so, so much!

Also, he made a comment when he was agreeing to come. He said “but, if i bring my own car, you won’t let me drive if I drank a little. Also, I’d have to sleep at your place, and I want to sleep at mine”.

He bothers me, because, I feel like he always needs to be in control. He’s only really happy when things are his way (i. e., we are with his friends, his family, at his place, he’s driving, etc...) it annoys me!

[Lostinlve]

I would be too. It was important to you so why shouldn’t you be hurt? His role as your boyfriend is to support you. Sometimes he will fall short of your needs, as will you for his. Make sure he understands your feelings about what happened and then decide if it’s worth getting upset over or if the relationship is worth you moving on from this one incident and getting along.

[Asker]

I am just getting more and more fed up with him. I don’t like that comment he made. Where he said he’d have to stay at my place, and i wouldn’t let him drive his car.

Why would I let my boyfriend, or anyone drive under the influence?

I am just disappointed. I don’t know, maybe I should just take some space from him. This really bothers me.

[Asker]

But, I just don’t like how things have to be on his terms. I’m always willing to meet people for him, go to events with him, etc. It’s so frustrating.

[Lostinlve]

If that’s what you’re thinking you probably should take some space and see how you feel.

[Asker]

Yes. I am just frustrated. He told me he didn’t tell me no because he was afraid I’d get upset, so he just told me the day of. I mean, of course I’d be upset if he didn’t want to come. But, id rather he told me no when i first asked! I do think i need space from him. I really am not feeling happy about this. It hurt me a lot.

[AshleyMadison00]

Ok reguardless you need to leave the ATTITUDE at the party respect the fact he grown like you and so what he didn't go. He doesn't like putting on a show for people respect that. Walk in and tell him you missed him and it's over and address the part of him lying should not be aggressive at all very light

[Shogun48]

I agree, I don't think it was right to come up with some excuse that may seem concerning. He needs understand that he should feel free to voice his true feelings about things to each other, no matter how small. By doing this, it makes everything easier and everyone is happier. I suggest you two talk about this. Hope it helps and good luck 😊

[Asker]

I am more upset he told me he’d come, and the the day of, he told me he wasn’t going to! He said he was afraid to tell me no because he didn’t want me to be upset.

[Asker]

But, I am more upset he told me last minute, and then said he wanted to see his family. He told me “i did want to see them, but, i thought maybe it’s better if i see them today, instead”. I am so annoyed.

I even told him. “I feel like even if you don’t come to the party. You still won’t see your family”

[Shogun48]

I understand, he needs to understand that by doing what he did made you more upset. And the family thing, sorry to say this but that just sounds like a very 'on the spot' excuse

[Asker]

That is what it felt like. He just made it up. I feel less inclined to do things for him/go to events with him.

[Shogun48]

Maybe let it go this time, next time however you must explain to him how it makes you feel and make sure you are heard.

[Asker]

I told him I was annoyed. Then he after he said he wanted to go, but thought today would be better, I just decided to take some of the advice given to me here. And i said “okay. I can understand”

[Asker]

Even tho I’m mad.

[Shogun48]

I know it sucks to do that but that's probably the wiser option, just make sure that this does not happen again. Hopefully this was somewhat helpful
Best wishes,

[LordSnuggles]

That's not a question. And without understanding who he is or your relationship, and only going by your word, there's not enough to go to make any sort of determination.

[markscott]

Lying in a relationship is a problem. It speaks of poor communication, lack of commitment, and unreliability. These are very important in a relationship, and if lacking, can ruin a relationship.

[artemis77]

shouldn't you tell him how not amused you are by his behaviour sounds closer to being your ex boy friend.

[Anonymous]

I dont see how that is unreliable and annoying!

Did u ever consider understanding him?

[Asker]

I asked him why he didn’t come, he mentioned because he wanted to play video games and didn’t want to talk to people

[Asker]

He’s unreliable because he told me last minute.

[Opinion Owner]

Did he had any work where you invited him?
Most of such things are very boring.
He even cancelled meeting his family, there must be some good reason why he did that.
Just talk nicely about it.
Understand him when he opens up, dont jump on him😂
Talking nicely will settle down everything.

[bubblezzzz]

Have you tried to talk to him about it?

[Bman4907]

Maybe his family had to cancel.