At what point in a relationship do you believe a transgender person should reveal that they are trans?

[Anonymous]

On the first date?

after a few dates?

never?

Jamie Wilson

Updates

+1 y

What would you do if you found out the person you are dating is transgender?

[hellionthesagereborn]

Before they even go on the date. By hiding it the person will feel like they where manipulated and lied to and that's going to create a whole lot of animosity. In pretty much every case of a transgender person being killed it was because they lied about being transgender. The overwhelming majority of people will at worse walk away from him/her after hearing this and at best be friendly (and maybe even still be interested). But if you lie to them about this, and yes its their damn business because they are trying to enter a relationship with this person knowing that they are transgender absolutely affects them and the relationship, then your going to have some one who feels humliated and betrayed on multiple levels and that could end very poorly (Violently at worse, at best the relationship is done and they will hate you forever (and be disgusted with themselves).

[xkildy]

My take is if you want people to accept you. You need to first accept your self and not just give it a name or ask friends to accept you. You need to first tell your self I am this way and this is the way I want not cause of others or to get my way at work but this is me. Now if your going to take I would make sure to hit on the right gender lol... a straight person is that a person that is interested in the opposite sex not in the sex or gender that you chose to be but the opposite sex of them. that's what it means to be straight now if they're bisexual they may be interested if they're gay they still might be interested but straight means straight

[Mikayla3]

I think they should tell you on the first meeting because assholes have killed people for not telling them till after they slept with them. I feel like it is so wrong on both sides but not to murder a person for being a human. They have a different journey to life than we do... it’s a lot harder and they are just as man or woman and just as human as I am. I love transgender people and if I feel in love with one. I would not count that against them or feel weird. But, no every person is me. So, for their safety. They need to be open on the first meeting!

[Screenwriter]

I don't think it matters on the first date. It might not go well and you'll never see that person again. But I think it needs to be revealed somewhere down the line. Some people are anti trans and you don't want to be involved with that sort of person. They might not hate trans people, but may not want to date them. You need to find this out so you'll know you'll be accepted warts and all.

[Screenwriter]

You either accept that they're transgender and continue with your relationship, or decide that's not for you. I don't know what I'd do.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Immediately! As in before I even go on a date with said person.

No disrespect to transgender individuals, but just like they have a right to be who they want to be, I have the right to know what they were born as before getting to know them!

[OlderAndWiser]

I think it should be disclosed before the first date.

[Liam_Hayden]

You are not only older and wiser, but also faster than I am.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Liam_Hayden :) :) :)

[coachTanthony]

LOL why even comment... just smash this like button!

[Kaazsz]

Agreed. I’m shocked there’s no downvotes on this comment lol.

[ravagesavage]

Now there is. Complementary from me 👌

[SentientBrick]

Before the first date.

[Apope16]

If you meet them online Id say right away. If you know them id say before a date. If its a random meet situation at a bar or party.. id say after the first kiss. Certainly before sex. Usually the person can tell. But if I was attracted and didn't know, I would rather have kissed the trans person to see if it made me horny. Otherwise, if told I have to get into moral delimma headspace of how the transperson would feel if I made out or had sex based or exploration and discovery. If I wasn't sure I wanted to date a trans person, would they be offended with me asking to see what its like? I think so. So I'd rather make out snd get the sensual experience, find out, and then decide if I like it.

[sejla]

For the safety of the transgender person right away. And for the other person so they have the right to know so they can make the decision to even start or not. It isn't possible for all people to be ok with it.

[buuda1971]

DAY ONE should not keep that secret from a potentially partner they may not be able to handle it and it could get you beat or killed as it has in the past... as long as you honest things will work out as they supposed to don't be a shamed of who you are or chosen to be if you feel the need to hide it your going to be found out eventually and the consequence could cost you EVERYTHING the truth will only loss some one who wasn't for you in the first place... HONESTY IS STILL THE BEST POLICY!!! ... be you and be happy with it or Camacho you are!!!

[Trolloween]

Before any date. I made this point before and got a lot of flack but if you sleep with someone who thinks you are a different gender then it should be a crime. My example is if someone has hiv and doesn't tell you then they are committing a crime because they can physically harm you, I see little difference to the total mental devastation it could cause a straight person to be tricked into what they may consider homosexual sex. It isn't transphobic it's just people have preferences and deceit to bypass those preferences is morally wrong.

[angelface8]

I would honestly hope someone would tell the person they like up front that they are trans because to with hold that info is taking away that persons choice to chose you for who you are/want to be. Plus it puts both parties in dangerous positions because the person could react violently or snap it's just a lot to take in especially if the person comes from a strong religious background. Not to mention wouldn't a person want someone to get to know the real them (past and future desires), by not being honest with yourself and the other person your basically living a lie in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

I lost part of my leg. But I wear a prosthetic so its unnoticeable. I wonder the same thing on the daily. When should I let them know? Should it be soon or will I sound insecure about it? Should it be later or will they be angry I didn't mention it sooner?

Not to mention - its VERY hard to slip in casual conversation. But I do eventually find opportunities, within a week or two of chatting, and I jump on the first possible chance to say it. I always mention it playfully. If the guy loses interest, then he loses interest. If he finds it "cool" then we continue on as if nothing happened.

Since your case has to do with direct sexual organs, I would say follow my advice above if the person you are dating is in the queer or has a lot of involvement in the queer community. If this person is straight all the way, try to be honest as possible from the beginning so you both know what lies ahead and dont waste time.

[buuda1971]

Lossing a leg isn't even in the same ball park... that just your own insecurity about it that's messing with your head... and yes there are guys who would freak out over it but it would never be as bad as a guy with his own sexual insecurity finding out you had a dick BIGGER then his at one time... LMFAO

[Opinion Owner]

@buuda1971 Thats exactly what I meant but in a more sensitive tone in case the asker is trans.

[Opinion Owner]

And I am not really insecure about it - it is just true that some guys begin to reevaluate. Even if theyre too polite to admit it, I can tell when they fear they won't be attracted.

It happens, its no biggie tho

[buuda1971]

Sorry. not exactly a sutle kind of guy I speak what I think with no filter if I hurt someone's feeling I will give my apologies but I can't prevent it

[Opinion Owner]

@buuda1971 That is fair, many people are like that.

[bro25]

Prosthetic understandable but you didn't change who you were to hide your real identity I could do a person missing a leg with a fake on but a person who became completely fake is a no. They miss self pride that they have to be something they aren't because of the feelings they have. Ok let's say I want to be a squirrel because I feel like it I would get arrested because you can't walk around naked or trespass wherever in anybody's yard. Ok you dont like who you are and you are sad about it go see a therapist dont made a version 2.0 about yourself. My phone is a samsung but it can't change to a iphone because it feels it's camera isn't good enough. You are what you are and you have to accept yourself. A Asian cannot just turn into a black person and a white person can't just turn into a Asian because they feel oriental. Sorry for the rant. Prosthetics yes dating a trans no

[brennanhuff]

they should reveal like immediately, like upon first seeing someone they are interested in and that person seems interested in them. Someone who hates or wants a transgender hurt or hates such people is transphobic, but a person who only wants to date a person of the opposite sex, (meaning born that sex and no operation) is simply straight. A straight person does not want to be deceived and I'm sure would be mighty pissed and have the right to be if said trans person really looks like the sex they had operations to look like and straight person thinks it is the opposite sex.

[Sonorous]

I feel like it should be a crime to not tell before anything intimate happens. That could seriously mess up someone's mental state. It's a really selfish thing to do!

What would you do if you found out the person you are dating is transgender?

⬆️ I'm very good at picking up on cues so the likelihood of that happening is really low! But let's say they're just a good actor/liar, I would let them know that it wouldn't work out. I don't care how nice they are or how compatible we would be. I don't date trans people. Call me old school but that's just my preference. It would feel too weird since I'm not a part of the LGBTQ community and I have no sexual attraction towards men. I wouldn't be rude to them but I'd firmly let them now that what they did was not cool and I most likely wouldn't wanna be friends or anything afterward.

[btbc92]

The day that person tries to ask you out. That's why I do not date strangers because you don't know who your messing with or what your getting. Be smart people. It's not about judgement, its about protection against fraud. Especially if that is not what your seeking.

[PinkMichae]

If someone is showing a romantic interest then they should inform them. Some people aren't comfortable being with someone that was born the same sex. Its deceptive for them not to be forth coming when someone is obviously romantically into them. If it's just a friendship it's no ones buisness. Although if I was trans I would make it known to all connections friends or romantic ones.

[PinkMichae]

To answer your update:

If I found out the person I was dating was transgender I'd feel tricked, deceived, and never talk to them again. They took my choice to be with a man that was born a man. It's ok for people to change their gender. But it's not ok with tricking someone into dating a transgender.

[JoseJr]

First thing, as soon as possible. Dont be playing around. I personally dont believe that shit is correct. That my personal opinion. But Im not disrespectful or rude to anyone who does that. Hey you do you and I'll do me. Dont be surprised when you catch a beating or a case when I find out you've been hiding that.

[DizzyDesii]

I shouldn't laught but 😂

[sapphireruby]

I can understand why a transperson would want to keep it a secret, buy you don't want to wait time chasing someone who wouldn't be interested in you. Trying to keep it a secret wouldn't feel right and would be exhausting. So it should come out on the first date or before.
I wouldn't mind dating a transman, but I would want to know early. If they waited a long time to tell me I would understand, but it would hurt my feelings that they didn't trust me.

[Hai_tis_E]

I knew my now ex boyfriend was trans when I first met him. I think it should be mentioned at the very beginning, not everyone is comfortable with the idea of dating a trans person and thats ok. But you should know what you're getting yourself into for your and their sake.

[TCredo]

I am friends with some transgender women who are beautiful women and you'd never know... they've told me it is very important to have the talk before things get started intimacy wise as some people can get very violent - it's scary stuff.

To the update for the question, I knew beforehand.

[lightbulb27]

better do it first date or before that. thats a big problem for some.
I'd be disturbed... I'd handle it, but that not go well. I don't know who trans genders fit with... other opposite trans genders? As a male... I want a female, is that too much to ask?

Truth in advertising!

[Киттйлинк]

Day 1!
Why form a relationship based on lies and then get offended if the person rejects you after finding out and hurting them as well... it’s just awful. Wasting peoples time as we can’t get time back...

Anyway most times most people can tell right away but should still be said if you’re initiating anything with anyone on a more intimate level and such.

[Thingman1]

I think it's fine to flirt up to the point it's about be physical in any way., holding hands hugging or kissing. Those things to me are in many ways as intement as having sex. And weather ot not someone is okay with it probably will not change down the road but they may be quite angry if misled. And now a days there are men and women who are into transgender folks. But a lie Is always going to blow up.

[kittycat119]

First date. This idea a trans person doesn't have to tell a potential partner is dumb. It's deceitful and should be talked about as soon as anyone becomes interested in a potential partner. And I'd be fine with a trans partner as long as they are honest and tell me

[sarebear2]

I think it's different for every person. Depends how long you've known who you're dating, if they are generally accepting etc. They should do it when they feel ready, but not leave the other person in the dark about it because it's an important thing to know. The sooner the better, preferably