Am I bad friend for not believing her rape allegations?

[Anonymous]

My closest friend and I have been best friends since birth and we are both in our 20s.

My best friend has gone through 4 long-term relationships in the last 8 years. 2 of those relationships were completely online from across the other side of the country (never met in person). When she lost her virginity in her first relationship, she confided in me and said it felt so good and that I needed to try it for myself soon. She constantly bragged about how good her sex life was in her relationships and how she would have sex every day. But I began to notice a pattern..

Everytime she starts a new relationship, she tells me that at some point during her most recent relationship, she was raped or sexually assaulted by that ex. Every single time.

As her best friend and from one woman to another, I want to full-heartedly believe her about all of these allegations , but she does have a tendency of lying and I can't help but to think these are just more lies to put down her exes. Especially with 2 relationships being completely online, I'm not sure how it's possible to sexually assault someone. In my heart I feel a lot of guilt for not fully believing her, but I would never openly admit that to her. I offer my 100% support to her regardless.

Am I wrong for deep down inside not believing her about something so serious?

[RationalMale]

OMG my younger sister did the same thing!

Ran away from home at 17, moved in with a boyfriend that she was so in love with, those bruises were from hitting a door, etc.

Finally broke up with him and suddenly he was a violent rapist who beat her and held her prisoner in their extended stay hotel room.

Next ex was a wonderful guy, the police were just racist against him because he was black, he was an awesome guy, she was going to have his baby, we would have to meet him sooner or later.

Eventually things went bad and suddenly he was making violent threats, and six months earlier had allegedly bragged about murdering someone, etc.

Next ex was a reallt great guy, she was in love with him, her kid loved him (kid turned out full white because she had cheated on the black murderer) and the new guy was even in family pics, etc.

Then she chopped her hair off, told him she never wanted to be a stay at home mom or have a child with him, he dumped her for some reason, she was sobbing for days, then suddenly he was a psycho control freak straight from "Sleeping with the Enemy."

Like I see a pattern between your bestie and my younger sister. Kinda hard to believe it no?

[Anonymous]

You are wrong for feeling bad about not believing a liar, but even more wrong for continuing to be her friend. Lie down with dogs... get up with fleas. People really need more quality control. One day her lies will rope you into them and you might find yourself in the mix of her nonsense.

[Anonymous]

I've been raped. The chances of her actually being raped by 4 exes in a row is slow slim, and the fact you dont bother to mention if she is distraught or not is giveaway she has not in fact been raped. If she was, she would be acting way diffrent. She would be seeking your help on how these feelings, she would question herself why it's always happening and would have been hesitant to re engage in similar behavior. She would tear up sometimes just talking about subjects like it if she had that much abuse. I struggled a lot with one perpetrator, the fact she can have several and not bat an eye feels insulting. If there's a chance it is real, because there's always a chance, she's probably psycho and on thier emotional level.

[elaenor]

You should not feel bad. Because there are obviously discrepancy so it is normal for you to have some doubts. It is serious topic so I do not want to say she is lying. But you can ask her that "were not your realationships was online?" But do not directly say her that you do not believe her. Maybe there are things she did not mention you about the past relationships so give her chance to explain. If she is lying, asking questions can make her realise you do not eat everything she says. Next time she can be more careful. Maybe she has some kind of mental problem. Anyways she has to get professional help if the topic is rape.

[Anonymous]

What is sad is that you even entertain the idea that you should feel bad for doubting her. That's a result of the current feminist push to always believe a female accuser and always assume the man is guilty.

Is there really any doubt why the majority of men and women hate feminism?

[Ajnewton]

Nope its not wrong for not believing her. If she doesn't stop she can really get those exes in trouble with the law of something she actually gave consent for.

[TrixiePooch]

If her relationships were so good why didn't they last? I think she is spouting it out her ass to hide the fact that they were really shit.

[Paris13]

There may or may Already Here, dear, Come a Time down this Line when She Should Not have Cried Wolf so much. For Now, "Yes" her to death. xx

[ericclayton]

Well you've noticed a pattern, and even though you care about your friend, you know she's human and far from perfect. So you shouldn't feel bad for being discerning. You can still be a good friend and not condone bad behavior.

[newPython]

Most women lie about rape, so you are not wrong to disbelieve her.

[Rangers]

Being friends with someone doesn't mean you have to be biased towards them and believe everything they say.

[stf75013]

If you feel that she's lying, you have no obligation to believe her.

[Malik00]

Yeah no she got raped in every single relationship she was in... something is horribly wrong about that.

[Malik00]

Don't feel bad for not believing her, she sounds full of it

[BeyondPlusUltra]

After one time it's probably not relevant anymore. Even if it was actually rape, why would she put herself in the that situation constantly?

[ChronicThinker]

My sister does this too, you're not wrong.

[Cask23]

Revenge rape allegations are not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

You must be a republicuck

[ZeussLightningBolt]

No. You're logical.

[Secretgardenblood]

@Iron_Man
...

[Iron_Man]

If she doesn't believe it she doesn't believe follow her heart

[Mgcmicky1]

Not at all