At what point in a relationship do you believe a transgender person should reveal that they are trans? (Page 3)
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Before the first date.
Hey, why don't you go to the Highlands with me Saturday?
Sounds fun... you know I am transgender, right?
A. Sure, I have no problem with that...
B. Oh, I didn't know, that isn't my thing.
These tranformation pics are nuts!!
First date! “Check please” be getting called on my end real fast!
hmmm u can still get to kno the person without having sex with him.. her.. =P
who knows maybe he will offer u ur dream job
Yeah im good!.
IMMEDIATELY upon meeting. I wish dating apps had a separate category for them.
I’m sure there is a segment of men/women who don’t care. By the VAST majority of us don’t want to date someone like this. I don’t care how much liberal propaganda bullshit you yell at us either.
Question rephrased:
What motivation does an individual have to hide the fact they are transgender, and why would they want to begin a relationship by keeping important secrets they know are extremely important and relevant to others?
I dont know anything about post-op trans people, but it seems like you'd be able to tell? I mean wouldn't the bits look different in some way? I mean a dude trying to turn into a woman, wouldn't they have trouble getting their "vagina" wet for sex? If it got that far without anyone saying anything id catch a charge.
Before they go on a date. Preferably wheb things are moving in the direction. Really, you shouldn't be asking people out you don't know well. And that's a pretty big thing to know about someone. Like if they're gay or trans.
On the profile before I make contact. To wait is to risk bodily harm.
Asap its deceitful if you lead someone on thinking you are one way when you aren't because a date is supposed to be you giving your best self and so do the other person but if you aren't honest why are you there?
After they abandon the Trans lie and forsake Gnosticism and get therapy. And not a minute sooner. If they're that mentally sexually dysfunctional, the absolute last thing they need is validation of their search for that which leads to prolapse.
I mean do they have all of the working bits? If so, it wouldn't really bother me. They should probably say something before anything happens between us but I wouldn't quit talking to them just because of that.
How is this even a question? Anything other than "straight away" is a wilful deception
Not at all. It's not anybody's business on a first date. If you're not heading to a second date, I don't see any reason to mention it. It might take two or three dates to even find out if anything might develop. Then its importance comes into play.
@Screenwriter in a non-date social setting i see no reason to mention it. But a date suggests potential for romantic entanglement. And many straight men would want no such possibility of developing feelings for anyone other than a natural female. If he knew right away, there would most likely be no first date in the first place-- *unless* he was happy to be with a trans woman in a dating context.
If your ok with fucking trans its up to you. If they dont tell me instantly fuck off.
The important word is POTENTIAL. If the date falls flat, then the potential is nil. And it might take two dates or even three. If things are going great, then make the reveal. Two dates won't kill anyone and you might end up with a new friend. If it was me and it was a trans guy, more than likely they would not have bottom surgery and that would be a dealbreaker, but an otherwise copacetic person would be fine to know.
@Screenwriter well, perhaps that all works out fine... *if* the presumption for these "dates" are that they start out utterly platonic, and "maybe" progress to romance over the course of several further dates.
But most dates I've been on began with at least an intention of potential romance on my mind. That's what made them "dates"-- if I wanted to hang out just as friends, I'd say "mate let's hang out". So it depends on how you frame the very concept of a "date" I suppose. Perhaps it's more common among your generation to have dated with the "friends first" approach? Or perhaps we just see it differently for some other reason.
But all I know is, if I'm on what I personally would call a "date", my base presumption would be that the woman I've taken an interest in is in fact a biological woman, and not a transitioned (or to-be-transitioned) man. I can catch romantic feelings pretty quick, and I'm not shy about holding back on physical intimacy, so things could get real awkward real fast if she turned round and said "btw I used to have a penis".
But if this person was a post op transwoman who could sexually function as a woman, would that matter so much? And if you were otherwise comfortable with her and you had chemistry? I can understand how pre op people wouldn't be on the agenda... Dating is a way to get to know someone for possible romantic involvment... That's always the case. What I'm saying is one date could kill that completely. And it might take two or three to decide the person isn't a candidate. I'd say when you're over the hump of this is going somewhere, it's gotta be broached. I think guys are far more upset about this. If someone no longer has a penis, does it matter that they ever had one? Is it somehow an affront? I don't get the anger or outrage. I'd be surprised if I didn't know. But I'm not naive. I realize there is this anger and outrage. It's better to be safe.
@Screenwriter I have no interest in "anger and outrage", and do not speak for any group that seeks to further such outrage.
But yes, in my eyes, a post-op transgender woman I would view differently than a natural woman. They're two different categories, because... they literally are. One is a transitioned male, the other is a born female.
It's like that old conundrum in philosophy, where the question goes: "if you take a machine, and replace one part at a time with something completely different, then at what point does the machine cease to be a machine altogether"?
The question then is, when does a transitioning man "become a woman"? You might say it's when the penis gets turned inside out and made to look like a vagina. Or when he gets hair and breast implants to look "convincing". Or when he has enough estrogen hormones injected into his bloodstream that he takes on feminine characteristics.
I say these are just more parts of the machine being replaced, so to speak. The machine is still the machine, it's just had enough parts changed that the manufacturer can market it as something new.
(I realise this language sounds rather dehumanising, but I chose the machine analogy for ease of conveying what I'm trying to say, not because I think trans women are "less human" or anything.)
And frankly, I wouldn't want someone else to decide on my behalf whether or not I would have a "problem" with the fact they're not what I thought they were. It's like a PR company controlling the release of information leaks so they can control how the narrative is received by the public. I don't wanna play PR games. And I don't wanna get feelings for a girl only to then find out she's not what I thought she was. I'd feel duped, because it IS a kind of deception.
I think that transitioned man always felt they were a woman and it's not cheating you, or tricking you. They've had to take a different path to a similar end. But you're talking less than 2% of the population. So, it's probably an unlikely scenario. I hope people become more accepting. I think it's like being gay. People knew from pre gender childhood. That's all.
@Screenwriter how they feel about their transition is their business, and they shouldn't presume their subjective feelings are a valid substitute for honouring my right to know what I'm getting into. I don't want to date a "man who felt like a woman from young age" and then changed his physiology after-the-fact to match that self-image. I want to date a woman who was a female from birth and doesn't question her gender. No amount of mitigating and inching around this fact will change the fundamental position I hold. For better or worse, a trans woman and I will not be a good match for dating, since it could never progress to a relationship. So why would she waste both our time by delaying the reveal of a vital piece of information in a dating context?
OK, you're closed to this. I see.
@Screenwriter but I'm open to discussion about it, as should be evidenced from these comments. I just know what I will and will not be okay with in context of dating.
I get it.
@Screenwriter you are some crazy man who wants to fuck men with fake vaginas. Go to your local looney bin for a good check-up, are you a tranny?
If he doesn't want a trans person what the fuck are you making a fuss about? That's just how it is.
@Badballie No, not trans, not a man. Born a woman, but I feel for those who have body dysmorphia. It's truly very, very few people. There are those hopping on the trans train, but they aren't genuine. I wish these transwomen could get the experience they'd like being accepted as women. After all their trouble, I'd hope they'd have more acceptance.
Hell my wife knew about my crossdressing before we even had are 1st official date.
It bettet to start fresh then start with a lie. Open and honest is key in relationships.
Ummm, IMMEDIATELY!!! NO way am I going to fall in love with a dude if he's actually a girl! Ew, and no thank you!
ASAP...
every word with a tranny is waste of his and my time
straight away... its quite a major thing to many people
This is how the introduction should go in my opinion:
Hello, my name is blehbluhbleh and yeah I'm trans *insert big smile*
Never portray something you are not. Always be you from the go! Less drama, less heartache and more understsnding.
At the beginning. How would you feel if you were eating a hamburger and it was awesome, and then all of a sudden you were told it was a veggie burger? Sounds cruel, but think about it.
Im not for the trans shit but Those veggie burgers turned out to be good tho 😂
After the first hello.
If anyone waits until they’re already in a relationship to come out as trans then they are untrustworthy filth.
Be honest or be alone.
I'll have to agree with the logical people here and say that they have to be honest before the first date.
Disclosure is important sooner rather than later. We still live in a society that's very dangerous towards trans individuals. Murder rates are much higher than average. Being honest just for the sake of safety is important.