Should I tell my parents I’m dating my professor?

[Anonymous]

So I recently asked out my professor and we’ve been seeing each other for almost 2 weeks, it’s been great. We’ve kept it on the dL so he wouldn’t get in trouble. However this semester is almost over and he asked me to be his girlfriend since I will no longer be his student. Of course I said yes and our relationship will still be on the dL until I graduate but I want to tell my parents but I’m kinda worried of what they might say🙄should I tell them when I go home for winter break or wait a while? Or should I just say I met a guy while I was away at college 🤔. I kind of hinted to them when I came down for Thanksgiving that I’m currently seeing someone. Plus I plan on spending time with him during the break.

Tell them about him

Say I met a guy

Keep my mouth shut 🤐

[Avicenna]

No, you shouldn't. You're still this guy's student- NO ONE will approve of that. He's also a dumbass for going along with it.

[Asker]

The semester is pretty much over since finals are next week, and I’m not going to be his student anymore

[Avicenna]

Well, take it from someone with some experience with this sort of thing- you don't want to do it. You will also be viewed negatively even for doing if after the semester, in part because everyone knows you two didn't just wake up the day after Finals and realized you liked each other.

[Asker]

Our relationship will still be kept on the dL until I graduate. Plus why would people view me negatively? It’s literally just two people falling in love♥️😭

[23anonuser]

You started the relationship before he has to turn final grades in. Do you really think you are going to get anything less than an A? You will be viewed as someone who traded sex for a grade. He will be viewed as someone who took advantage of a student.

These relationships are frowned upon for the same reasons bosses should not get involved with subordinates. There is an imbalance of power. The boss is viewed as a sleaze who is abusing his power and the subordinate is viewed as a slut who is sleeping her way to a raise/promotion.

Would you really have had any interest in this guy if he was not your professor?

[Asker]

Yes, I really really like him plus we didn’t have sex yet he wants to wait until the semester is over. We both love each other’s company and he’s told me that he’s interested in more then just sex and asked me to be his girlfriend. I get what your saying but we’re definitely not using each other.

[Avicenna]

He's violated university regulations. And don't assume you can keep people from finding out, either..

[Asker]

We only kissed/made out a few times and got touchy a little but that’s literally it, we mostly talk on the phone/text or I’ll hang out with him during office hours, but nothing sexual and we’re waiting until the semester ends to be official

[23anonuser]

Whether you had sex yet is not the issue. The issue is that your relationship has progressed beyond professor/student.

For him to engage in this behavior shows how poor his judgment is and I will be shocked if he can work in academia beyond this semester.

[Asker]

But it will be after the semester is over and I’m no longer his student. Plus what’s the difference if I went to a different school and he was still a professor at another?

[23anonuser]

What I mean is he is engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a student. If he is fired for having an inappropriate relationship he will never work as a professor again. He will have to flip burgers to pay off the $300,000 in student loans he accumulated getting his phD.

[bambin0]

I don't get what's stopping you from telling your parents ! Is it his age?

[Asker]

Well his age is not a problem for me, it might be for them since he is 34

[bambin0]

He also have to be in this if you decide to speak up to your parents. Ask him what does he think.
2 weeks is pretty much nothing, so you have to wait before you even consider yourself in a relationship.
Its very common to happen and in most cases it ends up being a fling. So keep it DL, be patient, wait to see how it turn out and have fun.

[Asker]

Omg tysmm for ur help

[bambin0]

You welcome 👍

[COMMODOREII]

I think thats the best advice.

[poneglyphs]

I think you shouldn't tell them they will freak out that you're dating an older man. Tell them, when you know that they won't cause an outcry.

[OddBeMe]

Do you connect on other levels? Or is it just the hot professor syndrome?

[COMMODOREII]

How old is he and you?

[Asker]

He’s 34

[bobbyluvs2lik69]

It's just a sad enjoy the sex