So these pics are from an ex girlfriends facebook who just contacted me out of the blue saying she misses me and wants to get back together. Which all good I was kind of excited but when I looked on her Facebook I was like wow because she has gained a ton of weight. I asked her about it and she said she has been depressed and misses how I used to make her feel but when I saw her new pic I was like damn. I’m sorry but I’m really turned off when a girl has a big Belly and her face is extremely plump now. She is the one that dumped me for another guy and it turns out he dumped her and she has been stress eating and that’s how she gained all the weight I mean I wouldn’t mind getting her back into the gym and working that belly off of her I just want some advice what I should do about this but yea honestly to me she’s a really big turn off with all this flub on her
Updates
+1 y
If this question triggers you because your an emotional snowflake that gets offended easily just keep your pacifier in your mouth and don’t comment please
I had a girl ask me out but she has gained a ton of weight and need advice please?
Tread carefully my friend. I was with a girl once that was something like this one. The only thing was that she wasn't always in the best shape like your ex even though I still think till this day that she was not that bad as far as her weight was involved.
My ex and I broke up and got together a number of times in the past, and each time we broke up, it was her that was the initiator of the "dumping". I have never broke up with her because of how I truly felt for her, or at least me not wanting to break up with her but work things out. The reason why she kept coming back to me is simply because I made her feel good about herself. I made her feel that she should not worry about her weight or whatever is wrong with her because she was loved more than that.
Eventually, I saw that every time we broke and then she running back to me, it really meant that she was using me.
Now, she may not know herself that she is using you, which is the interesting part, but you have to be the one to decipher that.
Try doing this with her: - Get to know the new her - Do things that will make her know that you are serious about your life and your endeavors and will NOT tolerate distractions that will gear you away from that - Talk to her about your speculations from the past about how she broke up with you. Find out what happened in the other relationship that made her want to come back to you specifically. - Always be kind. The worst thing to do is let past emotions get the best of you.
When things are more comfortable between you, cut to the chase of telling her about how you feel personally about the whole weight change thing. If her intention is to lose the weight, suggest going to the gym with her. If her intention is not too, pay more attention to her perspective in life. Sometimes because of the past, we judge people based on the past instead of who they might be today. My ex is probably a different person today than she was then. So please consider that.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be her friend. Take your time with her if you are not interested but think you might be again in the future. This is your ex, see if you could find out what's new about her.
I find it funny how pissed people are getting over this. He has every right to reject her because of her weight. Does weight change. Yes. Do looks change? Yes. However, it can be a deal breaker.
For example, I am a man who likes taking care of himself and I believe my body is a temple, so I take care of it. I go to the gym often, eat a pretty balanced diet and make sure my hygiene is impeccable. That's important to me, and I expect a woman to be the same way.
For me, if I see a woman gain a lot of weight and she doesn't do anything to take care of herself or her body, that is a massive turn off for me. The weight gain itself isn't the turn off... it's the fact that she doesn't take care of herself, which lead to the massive weight gain.
I've dated a woman in the past who gained a lot of weight and she didn't want to do anything about it. The girl hated to the gym, hated sweating, hated being physically active and enjoyed sitting around, watching tv and just living a sedentary lifestyle. She is over 300lbs now. I dumped her, because I couldn't be with someone who didn't take care of themselves.
Ladies, this is proof right here on how superficial most (not all) men are. They claim they value our personalities as well, yet the moment we're not physically attractive anymore, they lose interest 🤦♀️
Okay so you liked her before right? What exactly did you like about her? You need to ask yourself that. Yes, she gained some weight... it happens. But outside of that, do you still care for her?
Because if her weight is the main reason you're turned off from her? You're an ass!
People lose weight all the time; I'm definitely proof of that. But she needs the proper motivation and support. If you really cared for her, you'd offer to workout with her, or help her lose weight. Not judge her.
No, she deserves someone else. If that truly bothers you, or you're not willing to help her? Then leave her alone. Let her find a man that appreciates her! Just don't come back to her if she loses her weight again.
@Jaredmillershim, you are such a shallow boy. I can understand you don't like her anymore because her weight gain, but putting her down because of it, or anybody else is not normal for a full grown up man. She is better off without you. And putting her pictures here is bottom.
i was going to say that weight is not a big deal and that you should focus on her personality but then i read that she's your ex and that she dumped you. i honestly don't think that she wants you. she just needs a guy, any guy to give her self esteem a boost. she needs you to make her feel better about herself and to cater to her ego now that she's a whale who's got dumped and who doesn't get much attention from guys. she needs attention and as soon as she gets it from you she'll be gone. it doesn't seem like she actually cares about you so i wouldn't get back with her if i were you
She left you for another guy and if she did get big from stress, it wasn't because of missing you. It was because of her breakup with the guy she left you for. I think she just wants you back because she doesn't want to be alone. I wouldn't take her back. Plus you aren't even attracted to her now. She has nothing going for her.
Just say no. Let the poor girl find herself a guy that will still like her with a bit of chub. Tbh, she’s not fat. She’s a bit chubby. I’m not offended, I’m just skeptical. If you ended up with her, and she got pregnant, you’d be like “you need to lose weight”? Lol. I don't know. Just seems unnecessary. Just let her go.
As another girl, I believe it's best if you tell her you don't like her anymore and being friends is the best option. Just be honest with her, because suggesting that she lose weight might hurt her further
Then she must have gotten the message that you don't really want her anymore. I feel like the ball is in her court now, you can't lie to her for the sake of saving face.
Then just completely cut her off. Tell her you don't her you don't like her and only willing to date when she loses her weight and if you're willing to wait for her lose the belly, then you can weight, but I still feel like just cut her off.
I am going to level with you dude. The second picture is still attractive. If that's a turn off your standards are super high. I think you should go on a date or 2 just to see if a spark is there. That's what is important.
Lol why are people so mad at you? You want to get her back in shape! Lol I'd suggest start bringing her active activities such as hiking. Do more outdoor activities like fishing and hunting where you gotta hunt your food and prep it. Itll help bond you two and at the same time keep her focused on other things except food and other stressors. Also have her work out with you. Become a gym couple. If you know any MMA teach her a bit of it it's the best cardio in my opinion.
No dude, if you pursue her at all, I'd wait until she takes some weight off herself. She needs to regain some confidence. Then you'll know if she's really interested in you or just desperate.
Honestly she’s just desperate because I was nice to her and she left me for a bad boy type guy. Now that she got fat no one wants her so she wants a nice guy again if she loses it she’s going to start getting hit on again and go after what she really likes which is the bad boy type
I mean, the pictures weren't absolutely necessary. Otherwise, let them be mad. I think what you said was mostly objective and not shaming her.
You mentioned her stress eating which is empathetic enough and you even offered to help her get back to a healthy weight. Who cares of others don't see it that way.
1. Seems like you want her only if she looks like the first photo. It does not seem like you would care about her or else you would try to help her help herself. 2. Seems like she just wants you so she can feel better about herself since you said she dumped you. I do not think it would be healthy for you two to be together.
its up to you... if you no longer find her attractive then tell her and move along. personal preference is not in anyway liable for comment from social justice warriors by the way so your prempt was without grounds
Honestly pass on her. She’s attempting to use you as her emotional tampon. She left your ass for another man, gained weight, and now wants you back? That means she’s unattractive on an emotional and physical level.
Well she wasn’t very shapely to begin with... but this can’t be the same woman. That looks like two totally different people. Seeing as how you know what she looked like before, you can help her lose that weight.
She didn't want to shine with you at her best, so why should you bring her back into your life when she's exhausted her other options. Sounds like she's just using you.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I think she dumped you when she was hotter because she thought she was better than you. Now that she's fatter she feels that you're as good as she can get. If she lost that weight she would dump you again.
I have to agree with you. She was attractive, but not anymore. If you don't find her attractive anymore then don't agree to go out with her. You don't have to say yes because she used to be your girlfriend.
Wow she has put on the pounds. Guy don't ever settle for what you don't want if you care for her let her know what she has done to herself and sometimes tough love is real love and how would she act if the roles were switched
Yeah I mean she doesn't seem healthy at all. That's what this convo should really be about. If you still enjoy her personality do it, but if not don't.
Most Helpful Opinions