Is it considered cheating if I take off my wedding ring in bars, just to get free drinks?

Question

All of my married friends do this, but I kind of feel like it's wrong. I really want to go out and have fun with them, but I just can't afford it right now.

WhisperSoftly · Accepted Answer

I wouldn’t say that you are cheating for taking off your wedding ring if you truly are doing so just to get free drinks - and for no other reason. However, you are creating a serious risk to your marriage and your personal safety. I don’t think that I have to explain (in depth) the risk to your marriage because that’s a simple perception even if you haven’t thought about the consequences of him finding out yet. Let’s just say that he won’t be too please, and may NEVER believe that there’s nothing more to it than simply getting a free drink. Is a free drink or drinks worth losing his trust or potentially your marriage? And yes, marriages have dissolved for less.

Now let’s discuss your safety. Typically, men buy drinks for women they find attractive. So, I think I’ll go out on a limb and assume that you’re attractive - and that you know it. Some men feel that this free drink is an investment in you, or a down payment on a “purchase”. You could be setting yourself up for aggressive behavior later as you deny these men further access to your company. Women have been sexually assaulted by men who feel they’ve been played, and who feel a debt is owed. It’s not like he’s trying to win you over with his personality. The drink offer is designed to disable your guard and remove your inhibitions - and you May getting played while you play him. What’s in the drink he just bought you? Are you being drugged? Poisoned? Be careful with your dishonesty. One if you loses this game. His loss? A few dollars and an opportunity. Your loss? Your marriage, your innocence in your marriage (sexual assault) or much, much worse. There are a lot of deranged people out there. Do not encourage them or give them, in their minds, reasons to harm you. So no, you are not cheating on your husband at this point. But be careful that some of those drinks/talks cause you to think about it. Something is making you ask this question. For the sake of your marriage and your personal safety, end this practice immediately. Tonight, meet your husband at a bar and buy him a drink. Wishing you peace and safety.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

How would you feel if your husband took off his wedding ring in a bar so he could get a girl to let him but her drinks and flirt with her? If you wouldn't want your husband doing that shit, then you shouldn't do it, either.

You need to find a new set of friends.

lumos · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's cheating technically (it's in a bit of a gray area), because you're not doing anything with these men besides accepting free drinks.

However, I do think it's incredibly disrespectful to your husband and it's questionable to use other guys like that. Clearly they're offering a drink to you in the hopes that you're single, which you aren't. If you can't afford going out, then suggest you do something else that doesn't cost money. Or go out without buying drinks. Someone might give you a free drink even if you have your ring on, you never know. Regardless, I think it's incredibly disgusting to do that to your husband behind his back.

HayleyMarie · Accepted Answer

It’s not cheating, but I don’t think it’s a good thing to do. Obviously you recognize that yourself because you feel bad, trust your gut. If your friends want to do that, let them do their own thing. You can still go out and have fun as a married woman. I honestly think it would be disrespectful to your husband to do that. You know the saying “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it?” Think for yourself please and if the thought of doing this makes you feel guilty, or is you wouldn’t dare tell your husband about it, it’s probably not a good idea.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

No it's not cheating on your spouse.
But it is cheating the people you are deceiving into thinking you're single and available JUST to get free drinks.
That is a horrible, despicable thing to do. Better to just stay home if you can't afford to pay for your own drinks than to lie and use people for a drink. Women need to stop doing this shit. You giving women a bad reputatiion. After reading this, it's no wonder men think women are just out to get what they can out of a man.

SydneySentinel · Answer

It's not cheating but it's a dickhead move. Also, your husband might wonder if that's actually the reason for you doing it.

sejla · Answer

Completely wrong and unfair to their spouses. Sounds like a game that could get out of control. I doubt they are stopping at just drinks all the time.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Wow that's cold. Don't do it, girl. Your friends are being brats. Don't put that kind of stuff out into the world.

Desconhecida · Answer

If you feel it's wrong, don't do it just because your friends do. Try to put yourself yamin your husband's shoes and how you would feel if it was the opposite. Trust your instincts!

coachTanthony · Answer

Write or wrong it's not cheating. LOL

SueShe · Answer

Yes, it is not only cheating but those get themselves a reputation of being cheap persons that lack self esteem and character. No persons I really would like to be with in real life.

I don't think that the drinks are free just because girls have no wedding rings but because in order to get free drinks, they will be flirting around with other guys that will settle their drinks.

Flirting in turn is defined as

"a sexual behavior involving spoken or written communication, as well as body language, by one person to another, to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person".

And we all know what is meant under "deeper relation", right? Therefore, to me, this is very well cheating on the partner since the person accepting the free drink does it in full knowledge of the consequences and still has no compunctions to accept it.

sean1234 · Answer

They're horrible pieces of crap if your friends do that. You shouldn't even hang out with such individuals. Its times like this that make me a 37 year old glad I'm not married or have a girlfriend and disappointed at the same time.

-It might as well be cheating even if you seriously think of doing such a thing.

Look at what the bible says about it>>>

Matthew 5:27-28 27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

-The so called friends make men commit adultery. At least with a ring and them saying they are married, men generally won't do that.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

It is wrong. Would you want your husband to go out and flirt with other women and act as if you didn't exist? No of course not so why would it be okay for you to do the same? Further more your exploiting men while doing this. That guy isn't buying you a drink simply because he wants to, he is doing so as a means to get his "foot in the door" and talk to you in the hopes that it will escalate to something more (either sex or a relationship). So your exploiting men and essentially conning them into giving you free drinks while also pretending like your husband doesn't exist and that your not in a relationship with him (again, how would you feel if he denied being in a relationship with you?). So yeah its wrong on both fronts.

AlphaBot · Answer

Then maybe consider staying home and having "fun" with your husband. I never take my wedding ring off. I have on several occasions noticed that leaving it on attracts women who aren't necessarily homewreckers but feel comfortable engaging in a quick flirt or "take me anywhere" sexual encounter because the (married) guy is far less likely to persue any future contact or communication. Thus allowing both parties anynomity and eliminating any awkwardness, if by chance they do cross paths in the future.

chris0977 · Answer

I'd leave woman who does this simply on the suggestion she's willing to lie to manipulate men who haven't done anything, and many who may be far more honest, respectful, and less selfish than her.

She does this to other men, what does that say about her empathy, and how she's capable of treating me if others are just targets to be used to benefit herself?

Ripper_E · Answer

Doesn't matter. When you put that ring on, it's not just a ring you wear because you like how it looks. Taking it off so other men buy you free drinks is really fucked up unless you tell your husband about it first. If that's a benefit of being single, you gave that up when you got married. If you want them back, stop being married.

JoseyWales4 · Answer

I definitely think that’s a scumbag thing to do. Taking advantage of guys and manipulating them because of their hot looks to get free stuff. For the most part this old saying applies here. If you wouldn’t do it in-front of your husband you shouldn’t do it at all.

Wonderer89 · Answer

Why is cheating the only thing that seems wrong here? Lying, fraud, intentionally leading someone on when nothing will come of it.
Cheating isn’t the foundation of a morally corrupt person - if you have to question behaviour as being wrong then chances are it’s behaviour you shouldn’t be doing even if it’s not cheating

x_Pretty_x · Answer

Maybe ask your friends to meet up in other places, It doesn't always have to be a bar. If you can't afford it, I suggest not going. If they won't meet in other places then maybe find new friends. It isn't cheating but just doesn't look good and is kinda false advertising taking advantage of people.

GDG44 · Answer

I would not be happy if I discovered my SO was doing this. Perhaps you would get so many free drinks that it would eliminate inhibitions to have sex? Or put you into an unsafe condition that someone takes advantage of you. Or just the fact it is misleading to those around you and perhaps could create a confrontation. This is terrible.

locoloco68 · Answer

I don't think it would really matter if your rings was on or off that doesn't stop people from approaching, bar= drinks= tipsy =intoxicated= bad decisions =foreplay =intercourse =bad mistake = spouse broken heart=divorce or break up= someone that hates you someone that will hurt you and I don't mean feelings

razelove · Answer

If you feel like it is, it probably is, honestly I'd be more worried about being roofied taking free drinks. Hell, I'm a guy and I've had 3 attempts to roofie me in my life. I think one successful one from a woman oddly, soo, yeah, probably better to go out with your friends and just get a cranberry, no vodka if it bugs you that much. Don't be anyone's bitch.

Purpleronnie · Answer

I have to commend your honesty in sharing that you do that and well I think you knew the answer before you posted the question. While your Not alone in doing this, you really need to drink that much your willing lead guys on to get it ? I think you telling yourself it’s not technically cheating and that’s and that no harm will come from it for justification but would your husband agree with this? I’m thinking hell no !

Account2 · Answer

Normally someone offering you a free drink is flirting, or accompanied by flirting. To be accepting of it is at least letting other men flirt with you, despite being married. I don't know if that's actually considered cheating or not, but it is very very close to the line. I would advise strongly against it.

Screenwriter · Answer

If you can't afford to pay for your own drinks, then don't go out. If someone pays for your drinks, they may expect your company. Taking off your wedding rings isn't cheating, but it's a cheat to advertise yourself as something you're not. You think your husband would find this amusing? You're hanging out with the wrong kinds of friends.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s not cheating, but as your husband I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. It seems like an all too convenient excuse to get the attention of men, and I’d be skeptical that if the right guy offered you a drink that you wouldn’t cheat. But that’s me 🤷🏻‍♂️

Why are you going to bars without your spouse anyway?

slatyb · Answer

There’s an tacit agreement when a woman accepts a drink from a man. By accepting she’s saying that there’s a possibility of a romantic relationship. Maybe not a large chance, but she’s available and interested. So you can accept a drink, but before you do you need to let the guy know that you aren’t offering more than conversation.

etf0nehome · Answer

Cheating? No, as long as you're not crossing any lines of physical interaction. Immoral? Yes, you'd essentially be purposely misleading men to hit on you solely for your benefit.

Side note: this is exactly the type of behavior that contributes to what feminists claim is "toxic masculinity". You'd essentially be purposely enticing men to hit on you and objectify you only to ultimately deny them of what you know they're looking for.

MusicMayhem · Answer

No but it makes you a sleaze.

Maybe some guys can't really afford to go out either but if they meet a girl they like are willing to eat noodles the coming week for the sake of buying them a drink so they can enjoy some rare company.

Don't deceive them, that's just trashy.

Abmac · Answer

Simply, no, but it is rude/ indecent to take advantage of others. I honestly never cared when people bought my x drinks it's less I'm spending. I find this situation wrong for taking advantage of men trying to get to know you, and date you when you already know that they have no chance. Ideally you are a scammer, and making dating harder for good guys looking for a beautiful girl such as yourself.

updog45 · Answer

If my wife done that I would be highly pissed off. Thats how cheating starts, affairs you name it. Harmless at first, just getting free drinks. Next thing you know you have a bar friendship with a guy that bought you a drink, next thing you know y'all are fucking in the bathroom.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Damn. First off you are telling everyone your marriage doesn't matter. Then you deceive a guy thinking you will do something for him for drinks. Then there is the fact you are manipulating them out of their money just so you can get a drink. I would be pissed. And to be honest I've drank with friends who are married and have a boyfriend where i bought them a drink because they couldn't afford it. It's much more honorable when a guy invites you to drink with him without any of the deception.

Nik1hil · Answer

Definition of cheating states..
"Doing things with your partners consent or acknowledgement, and keeping the information hidden."

Just tell your Boy!..
I will remove my ring and use some Men to get drinks..
And it's not cheating.
In fact as long as your partner knows..
That you are going to have a gangbang in Bar.. It's not cheating..
But if you are eating food hiding from your partner.. And not sharing or telling him about it..
It's CHEATING

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder when these thirsty simps will learn that chasing women, dating, buying them drinks, and anything else that looks like they're trying to buy their affection is pathetic. Stop doing it...

As for your friends, they are not led by wisdom, introspection, or guided by the inner self. If you look at the bigger picture, you might see other aspects of the friendship that are questionable.

Figurative · Answer

It's like this. A guy buys a girl a drink, to try and date her, or whatever. Lying to someone about being married? Is your spouse okay that you want to do that?

Let's put this a different way.

All your married friends had sex with a bouncer to get into a nightclub for free. Why stop at free drinks? No one would know. You aren't wearing your wedding band.

Yeah. Not really the same. But, that's what your hubby might think if he found out.

AiahZ · Answer

Only if you would consider it NOT cheating that your husband takes off his wedding ring when out of town and in places where lots of hot women are just because he wants his ego stroked.

R_Cakes91 · Answer

That’s a pretty fucked up thing to do. Do yourself a favor and be the mature one of your friends. Living a double life like that will catch up with you one day and if your husband ever finds out, it could end your marriage. Be smart.

merv84 · Answer

Lol... this is different
... hmmmm I think it may not be technically cheating but it definitely has elements of cheating... letting another man flirt with you to buy you drinks etc isn't cool at all... not a nice thing to do... n you "you just can't afford it right now" then all good dont stress it is just going out... you will have plenty of times to go out... dont degrade your character for momentary gain... not worth it... I hope this helps...

DWornock · Answer

I'm not certain it would help but if it does, why not? You are not going to cheat unless the guy is exceptionally attractive and then only if you are in your fertile period. And, besides, wearing a ring would be an aid to cheating since it would make you appear more willing since men believe married ladies are less likely to play games.

soleil2666 · Answer

Imagine a man asking this same question!
Such vile behaviour - your friends are the reason men go their own way and all this rage about female privilege and the 'feminist' backlash happen
Can you or your friends not work to pay for your own drinks - or do you consider it acceptable to use unsuspecting men?

lightbulb27 · Answer

that's very wrong. It's fraud, false advertising, baiting a male without a license, indecent behavior, unscrupulous, and devious. how low will they stoop...

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

As a married woman, I'd only go to bars nowadays with my husband or among a group of friends my husband personally knows. If I wanted a free drink, I'd expect it from him and not someone else.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

No, but it's stupid. You're lying to get free drinks. If I had a wife and she did that, I'd be brushing off that prenup. What's the point of being married if you're gonna go out and act single? Just be fucking single if you aren't mature enough to handle being married. Being married means no more free drinks from thirsty dudes. Oh, the horror.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

You should tell your husband. If the thought of telling him makes you scared or ashamed or just feel bad, its wrong and you shouldn't do it.

And come on, disrespecting your marriage to feed your alcoholism is just disgusting. You need new friends.

MissKittyz · Answer

Ask your husband if he is fine with you removing your wedding ring so guys can buy you free drinks because they think you are single and attractive. If he isn't okay with that, then yes, that's cheating.

yucychan · Answer

It's not cheating per se but it's still despicable. Your friends trying to manipulate other people so they get the best bargain at someone's expense. Its despicable.

Miristheiss · Answer

If your husband thinks so then it is to him.
I think it is shady for married women going to bars and talking/flirting with men.
You are acting single. Why are they even there.

The husbands chose poorly and have shitty wives.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Yes, it is being deceitful but if that is what your character is go for it. What people will sell out for a few free drinks.

SkipStop · Answer

It's not "Cheating", but it is a very... I don't what word to use. It's just wrong. It's like tricking people to steal things. Your friends are a bad influence. They don't deserve to be married. If I found out, I would tell their husbands about this.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

-TDH

elevenoneoneblog · Answer

Yes, you are double cheating. You are cheating on your man by saying he is too broke to meet your financial needs. And you are cheating the men that are buying you free drinks. They too have limited resources and you are preventing them from meeting "the one."

Reaperbot666 · Answer

truly cheating is when you have a romantic or sexual encounter with someone. either physically or mentally. so taking off you ring to get free drinks. is more or less boarder line cheating in a since.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes it’s wrong just like it be wrong for your husband to take off his ring to go to bars with his friends,

Frenchie88 · Answer

Hell yeah it is if my wife ever take that ring off other than its getting re sized dont even attempt to put that back on thats a circle of trust letting aomeone buy you drinks leads to flirting flirting leads to something else and something else leads to me reaching into my back pocket for a great big can of ass wooppen!!!

Brett99 · Answer

Well, flirting (especially excessive) is cheating. Depends on their behaviour tbh, but I'd say it's more than likely cheating, without knowing more details.

ecfresh · Answer

Keep your ring on and drink water. Tricking guys/gals into buying you drinks is never a good idea. You can still enjoy a night out with friends without buying alcohol.

Superincel55 · Answer

Don't you want people to know that your married to a man you love

The ring signifies that you taken by someone special to you

So yes it's cheating

You need to warn your friends husbands believe me it's better to end it before it gets worse

Marcozo · Answer

Why people would offer you (a single female) a free drinks?  - Kind of approaching to initiate a flirtation,  So to pretend to be a single female is just dirty trading

DamnSam · Answer

Its called double cheating

First you cheat those guys to get you free drinks...
Second you cheat your husband because you probably didn't tell him about...

And, a husband will move on if he can't trust you about these things..

WalterBlack · Answer

I don't think it is cheating, but it is a really shady thing to do.

Saccharissa · Answer

That is the saddest attempt at prostitution I've ever heard of...

cavmanier · Answer

It's manipulative and pretty much stealing as well as disrespectful to your husbands.

Sarahr123 · Answer

Well duh why are people desperate for cheap attention

MajesticTwelve · Answer

Cheating, maybe not. But if you're willing to ignore the vow you made to your husband to literally whore yourself out for a few drinks... is that any better?

Is it considered cheating if I take off my wedding ring in bars, just to get free drinks?

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