It's a choice. The ultimatum kind of approach seems manipulative and is not a good sign, kind of a red flag.
I don't know since when you have been having this discussion and when did he turn it into an ultimatum, so I cannot comment on that.
Regardless, you are making a permanent change to your body that is not smoothly reversible and can have health risks and repercussions.
It is your body so it is your choice. His concern as your boyfriend isn't irrelevant though, but he does not have the final say, you do.
Take into account that you are doing this for you, not for him, and that from the sound of it he's happy with your body as it is. It was you who didn't like your stomach not being completely flat and got liposuction, and it is you who now wants to get breast implants.
I would say, talk this through and make it clear to him why you want this ("it looks nice" is not enough, elaborate on it) and also ask and listen to his reasoning as to why he does not want you to do this.
Maybe there is room for understanding and to reach a compromise. Or maybe you reach an impasse and that's it, no wiggle room, and you will have to make a choice.
Since you want to go from an A to a B, you should look into something like this where they move your own fat from another part of you body. If you get implants, you have to replace them every 10 years and they can leak which can make you sick. You probably won't want them past 40 or 50 so you'll need a breast lift when you take them out. It seems like a lot of work for a cup size. I would look into something more natural. I don't know much about the technology options but I know other options exist.
https://www.elitebodysculpture.com/procedures/breast-enhancement
I would do this instead I didn’t know that was an option but I really have too much fat left on my body unless they took some from my thigh or something
I’m not trying to be botched and I’m not obsessed with plastic surgery like everyone is saying. Yes I got lipo literally they took like a teaspoon of the stubborn fat I couldn’t lose. My boobs make me feel insecure they always have I like my body other than that
There are other technologies than this so I encourage you to research them. I know years ago Susan Summers had something like this. Of course she was rich so she could afford this stuff back then. I think she may have used stem cells. I bet there are other affordable options though.
From you bfs point of view, if you have small boobs on a lean body, the proportions make sense. Natural is usually best but going up one cup size probably won't matter much. To me the big issues with implants is they are artificial to feel and even see and then when you think of all the future surgeries, that wouldn't give me piece of mind.
Do some research on alternative treatments, and talk to your boyfriend to see why he is so against it. Maybe he thinks you are trying to impress other men if he already likes your body. You might have to dig into his inner feelings to understand him.
I don't think he wants to deal with other guys chasing you because you'd give the impression that you're in the sex worker field/stripper...
For example, tonight I saw 3 girls with obvious breast implants and they looked like they've come out of a strip club.. Not judging that they are but that's the impression they give and some guys think they're easy girls to get. I can understand his stance on you not getting them.
He might not like them and the fact is any surgery has the potential for being dangerous. I guess it depends on how much you love him.
Opinion
39Opinion
He likes how you are. I think he believes you might not, and that would make anybody sad. He just likes your current breasts.
Please, try to only use surgery as an absolute last option. It’s going to be really expensive if you try to get surgery to fix all of your “imperfections” and every operation has the potential for serious permanent damage, regardless of how good the surgeon may be. I think fake tits are generally very obvious and I’m quite turned off by them. They might look good with your clothes on, but there will probably be scarring on the bottom of your boobs and your boobs might sort of “wrinkle” in unnatural ways when they move. Maybe look at some porn actresses in some videos and see what I’m talking about.
Your boyfriend sounds like he appreciates you just for being you. You should as well, though I know it’s easier said than done. He seems like a decent guy and I wouldn’t risk losing him just for some fake tits that might not even look good when your clothes are off.
Well I can’t change my boobs naturally unless I get pregnant and that’s the last thing I want... there’s no other resort. But I’m not doing anything crazy it would literally be from an a cup to b cup I barely even have boobs
Well, I mean it’s your body. Do whatever you want with it. I’m just trying to help make you aware of any potential issues that may arise and provide a perspective from a male’s point of view, that’s all. I think the ideal solution would be to just become comfortable in your own skin. Small tits aren’t even a turn off for me. I love slim and athletic chicks with a nice ass. I really couldn’t care less if their tits are relatively small. As long as you aren’t literally as flat chested as me, I’d probably still find you pretty attractive...
I’d just hate it if you fucked up your body permanently instead of addressing the root cause of your problems, which is that you aren’t comfortable with just being who you are... If a guy doesn’t like you purely because of the size of your tits, then he simply isn’t worth being with, period. Fortunately for you, you have a boyfriend who loves your body just the way it is. You should never feel a societal pressure to undertake expensive and potentially dangerous surgery that may or may not give you the desired results you are looking for either.
Also, if you really have your heart set on this, make sure you do all the proper research and save up enough money to get THE BEST surgeon available. You might hate the way you look now, but a botched surgery would be a literal fucking disaster for you. I still absolutely do not recommend this whatsoever, but if you really must do it, then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE at least be careful about it.
I think if your boyfriend truly loves you, he would also be willing to accept this too, if he felt like you really needed it. You need to have a long talk with him about it too though. It’s only fair, since he agreed to date the person you were when the relationship started and you are, in a way, changing part of who you are by doing this. Please, just be careful...
Here are the facts:
- You want breast enhancement surgery
- Your boyfriend is turned off by it, enough to leave you if you get it
When a compromise cannot be found in a conflict of interest between two people. Either the status quo should be maintained, or both people go their separate ways.
The idea that your partner should love you no matter what you choose to do is very childish and arrogant reasoning, especially when you know that what you choose to do will hurt his/her feelings. You're just going to slowly build resentment over time until the relationship ends with a huge fight, and one or both of you hating the other.
You have the right to do whatever you want to do with your body. You most certainly do not have the right to expect your partner to be okay with it. Choices have consequences. Make the choice whose consequences you're willing to accept.
You do not like your boobs as they are so you want implants but he loves how you look as you are so he does not want you to get them. Obviously implants are a turn off for him. He might be thinking if she gets them done what would she do if some other oart of her body is not how she likes it to be?
For those who think if he leaves he is stupid, it's his loss, he doesn't truly love her etc what if she gets the implants then wants another, and another etc plastic surgery Nd started to majorly change how she looked and he loved how she was before the surgeries a lot more is he supposed to just stay when she changed with unnecessary surgeries?
Obviously you do not like how your boobs are to the point you do not care that your boyfriend loves how you look as you are. I believe that most people would love to have so. eone who loves how they look like you have. I know you would want your boyfriend to be supportive of you wanting implants but he has to be real with himself. If you get the implants either he will leave because he loved how you were or not like how you look fully whenever he looks at you. Would you want him to stay if you get the work done knowing he will not like how you look as much as he does now? Hypothetical what if you got more plastic surgery down the road besides your boobs and he stayed but with each one he likes how you look less and less until he doesn't see the person he fell in love with. Also having connections for unnecessary plastic surgery is not something to be proud of.
You are very lucky to have a boyfriend that will accept you for who you are and not who he wants you to be.
He is saying that if you get your boobs done, then you are trying to become someone else in his eyes.
My vote is with your boyfriend... be you, not someone else!
Think about it :)
I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from, it sounds like you're on the way to becoming someone that keeps getting surgery to look "pretty" some guys find that a massive turn off, if he doesn't want you to get fake boobs or something then the question is. Do you respect that or not because if you don't then you might be happier with someone else if you do then don't ruin what you already have.
You have a choice in this. And so does he. He doesn't need to be supportive of every choice you do. And he made it clear that he is strictly against a boobjob of yours. Now if you want to do it anyway or not is your choice, but you have to deal with the consequences.
Bob-job is a big turnoff for me too. I get why your boyfriend is against it. If it ain't wrong don't change it. Am guessing he really love you just the way you are but that is not enough for you. If it were breasts reduction surgery I'll be all for it.
Im an A cup there’s nothing to reduce
As much as I think boob jobs are unnecessary unless they are fixing a medical condition, such as after a mastectomy, no one should threaten you if you want to do something particular with your body. Ax that dude. You don't want to be with him.
It’s your choice to do what you want with your body, but it’s his choice in dating someone he finds attractive and clearly he doesn’t find breast implants appealing.
Neither of you are wrong, just incompatible
Unless you have some kind of deformity, boobs jobs are for the shallow and simple. By getting one you are showing him your true colors in that respect.
So if your current man isn't enough of a dipshit for you and you want someone dumber, then go ahead.
up to you what you do but if i was your boyfriend i would leave you too as i really dont like fake boobs
Okay
I recommend leaving him, because he's being an arsehole and trying to control you unless you have a harmful addiction to plastic surgery which you don't seem to have so yeah.. However, If a woman tried to prevent me from having plastic surgery if I hypothetically wanted to do it (I never would in real life), I'd run because I hate authoritarianism of any kind.
I wouldn’t care as long as you weren’t compromising your health. Big breasts are amazing in general so it’s not like I wouldn’t be excited. As long as you aren’t compromising your health I’d support it.
Do you have some physical damage to yor boobs... scars, deformities or are you just going for bigger?
If just bigger than you are lost anyway and your value system is corrupt.
No I have no boobs I’m an A cup and I’m not corrupt
A perfectly healthy set of breasts and you want to have them cut on.
I know YOU do not see it but that is meases up.
There is nothing you can do it's a deal breaker for him is it right for him to say what u can and can't do nope but he don't have to stay with you either
Obviously it’s up to you. That’s your decision. I personally am not a fan of it. But you do what you want.
I think it’s dangerous and why put a foreign material in your body. In time you will have issues. It’s just a matter of time
That's a cool boyfriend. It's up to you, but fake implants are trashy as hell IMHO.
I’m not a trashy person at all
Having implants doesn’t make a person trashy I don’t sleep around or anything so that’s pretty messed up to think but ok
IMHO and many guys' opinion, getting implants is an incredibly trashy thing to do.
As people have noted, any surgery has its own set of risks. Its usually easy to tell who has the implants, too.
Most guys love natural breasts in any shape or form. The only guys that usually don't are the trashy ones as well. If someone had an accident, cancer, etc. I totally get it. But to mess with perfectly natural breasts is to waste perfectly natural breasts.
Have you talked to a therapist about this feeling that your natural breasts are not big enough? Hear the pros and cons. It is major surgery and it might not come out well. It costs thousands of dollars. Is this how you want to spend thousands of dollars? You also need to know that breast implants have to be replaced every 10 to 15 years... So, when you're 35, under the knife again. And again at 50 and again at 65... Sounds like an extremely unpleasant and expensive commitment.
No I’ve never been to a therapist. My mom is a doctor with that comes connections to other doctors and with that comes me barely paying anything and they wouldn’t want to mess up. If I want surgery money is definitely not a factor. I haven’t thought about that.
My mom has always gotten surgery so I’m use to it. Plus my dad has never complained about it so I’m assuming some guys are fine with it
You have to choose. I say do it, someone who loves you for you won’t care
Is this your bf?
Why are women so fake nowadays?
😂
He doesn’t have this app 😕
yeah that's what my girlfriend thinks too 😂
Well oh well
Leave him first because you have no happy future with such a person.
He sounds like a shallow control freak. He acts like he owns your body and will resort to emotional blackmail to assert himself. Dump him, he'll only get worse over time.
I care about him just sucks he said that
I know you'd care about him, but he could be a bossy person also considering that he said what you mentioned which is rather horrible to me at least.
Do whatever you want. If he isn't happy with it, his loss.
Think about it from his point of view. He has a beautiful girlfriend and is very happy with her shape. Why would she want a boob job unless she wanted to attract other men?
Or maybe because she wants to for herself? Getting a boob job does not mean she wants to cheat on him, fuck that utilitarian thought.
@Gunarchist Yeah it just means she's insecure and immature. That is something to look for in a woman...
@zagor how does that mean immaturity? It means insecurity obviously, but that boob-job is just like getting tatoos or piercings. If she was really immature, then she'd be getting plastic surgery due to addiction, that's immature. Not that, because it likely won't adversely affect herself unless a surgeon did a bad job which wouldn't be her fault. Speaking of insecurity also, insecure people shouldn't be avoided either. There's lots of good ones out there who don't want to hurt you and are ethical people, I'm one of them so I hope you actually place thought into this matter but you probably won't which isn't my problem.
@Gunarchist Sometimes it is best to wait. If she still wants a boob job when she is 30, then I won't comment.
Don’t get a boob job. Why must you be fake and get plastic surgery? Why are women so fake nowadays?
That doesn't mean being fake, even if its a large addiction adversely affecting them. Fake women are liers like gold-diggers for example.. Not the other way around, no one is entitled to natural-looking people.
Well let him leave.
If he prefers natural girls, then either you stay natural or find someone else who accepts you with implants.
If it's a deal breaker for him then there's nothing you can do.
Screw him. It's your body- do as you want. You're the only one that has any say over your body.
It sounds like you have to choose whether or not you want to permanently alter your body in a way that your partner doesn't approve of.
Because nobody likes plastic flowers, except if they have a problem in their minds.
Yea I get it I’m literally going from an A cup to a B cup sorry I have no boobs in general
The most beautiful girl I dated had no boobs.
An A cup is still breasts. There's nothing wrong with small ones. WHy not love what you've got... they're not deformed. You don't even need to wear a bra. That's a great thing. They'll look lovely when you're 70.
@Screenwriter Even more extreme, she had literally zero breast.
Plastic surgery is fine if you have some kind of deformation. But doing so on perfectly looking people to me suggest a kind of thinking that I truly dislike.
For one it tells that your greatest problem and priority in life is your looks. For second that you are unsatisfied enough with your own body to pay a considerable amount of money to change it. For third that you don't think to yourself if what everyone else is doing probably is just nuts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyhrYis509A
It's simple, either get the boob job or stay in a relationship with him. The question is what do you want more, bigger boobs or your boyfriend?
She is quite obessed about her boobs being too small. ...
Its not that simple Riddler, that guy being bossy is pretty fucked up.
It is that simple my friend. Every choice in life is simple if you know what you want. She has to choose which one she cares about more, her boobs or her boyfriend.
And he's not being bossy. She hadt lipo at 20 yo because she didn't have a completely flat stomach. Who gets lipo at 20 for that reason?
And now she wants a boob job. That sounds like the start of a plastic surgery obsession- two surgeries before 25. He doesn't want to be with a girl with that kind of obsession.
If she loves him, but cares more about the breast implants than him, that means she's becoming addicted to plastic surgery.
Well, yeah, he's being bossy and controlling. It's what HE likes about her and it his way or highway... Not a good match and her desire for augmentation's brought that out. Better to cut ties. But she has a worrisome attitude that MUST be supported by an affluent adult: her mom. Who wants to bet her mom has had her breasts enlarged... It's not good. And personally, I watched "botched bodies" the Brit show and JUST found out that implants have to be replaced every 10 to 15 years even if nothing is wrong with them. That's their lifespan. 24, 36, 48, 60... and then decide to remove them and have reconstructive surgery after your skin is all stretched out... you'd need a breast life to take care of that... You'd have to start a saving account for your boobs. Joan Rivers DIED from plastic surgery. And I never saw what she looked like as a young woman. She was gorgeous! She never needed surgery at all.. It's why I suggested she talk to a therapist. If you aren't deformed, why?
Exactly.
Do whatever you want you do. Your body, your choice. If your boyfriend doesn't like it, stiff shit, dump his whiny ass.
What/who do u value more
Ur boyfriend or ur tits
The choice is yours
Your boyfriend has his feet grounded and knows well how the value of money.
Your plans sound shallow for him, explaining his reaction.
Do what YOU want. If he wants to leave the he's not worth it.
You do what you want. If he leaves then he loved an image of you, not you.
Sounds like the relationship isn't based off love in that case. Ditch him.
If you want to keep the boyfriend, you keep your boobs the way you are.
Get a boob job if that’s what you want and if you do... call me 😬
Let him leave then, you're not compatible.
I would too. You're so shallow and self absorbed no one is going to put up with it. LOSER!!
You’re a dick.
So I'm supposed to whitewash this for you huh?
You're what we refer to as a 'navel-gazer'. Your realm of cognizance is about on foot around your belly button.
And I'm the dick. Dear god you're dense.
Settle down sparky.
I’d literally be going from an A cup to a b cup you’re just a mean old man.
@matthewotk Browny is a tough Spitfire, ain't he!!! No holds barred!!
I think he means in general, you're too young. What is the point. If you ever have a child your breast size will get bigger. If you gain weight your breast size will increase. There is nothing wrong with A cup breasts. Maybe your boyfriend is not expressing himself well, but he feels very strongly that your body is fine the way it is. Why do you need bigger breasts? WHy do you want them?
He’s rude. I’m 23 when would I get them when I’m 40 I’m not too young. Having children isn’t in the picture at all right now. Let alone how I want bigger boobs... with pregnancy eventually comes some form of stretch or sagging so don’t make it seem perfect. I wasn’t doing it for him I was doing it for myself. I just want them I clearly don’t like having smaller boobs and I’d feel better
OK. Just remember, getting them means you'll have to have several more operations to replace them every decade or so. Getting them is MAJOR surgery. Every time. I understand you want them from yourself. But remember, they're not a one time installation and cost. Each time you'll spend thousands. There could be complications that cause further surgery... Be realistic about this. You have to recover from the surgery. Each time. Is it really necessary? This is why I suggested you talk to a counselor about why you ultimately want a surgery that means you'll have more surgeries. A counselor will be objective about it. And give you good information and support no matter what you choose.
@Screenwriter - Thanks!
And not to mention that fake tits are not soft and supple like real ones - they FEEL fake. So asker is going through ALL these machinations for a profile look. It's hard to believe women of today are still so shallow that they think their appearance, value, good looks, are wrapped up in their tits.
And it always begs the question, 'who's paying'? It's common for women to NOT pay for them, it's the guy their with, and then she goes around showing them off, eventually cheats or bails on the provider cuz she's no longer 'hhhaaappppyyy'.
This is a dead end, I'm out. But thanks screenwriter lady for explaining it to the twit.
OH, Browny... I'm not gonna name call. I'm sure her mother will be paying for the intial installation... And whatever job she has will be paying for the second one... or spouse. Someone has convinced her that her tits are too small or theirs were and they got them altered. Examples influence people. It's not good.
@Screenwriter You're much more tolerant and accepting than I will ever be. A good example of WOMAN. And thank you.
Mama and daddy raised me that way. I try to be. Your badassery can shoot you down sometimes... I also have a young son whose feelings I have to be careful of... Don't want to shoot down his growing manhood, etc... My dad was tough like you... So I know it comes from a good place... but often with bad language!!! You're a firefighter. I'm a canoe paddler...
@Screenwriter - Cute. And yes, men and women are SUPPOSED to be different. The feminism claim that both genders are the same is a complete lie.
But let's look back at the Q at hand. "My boyfriend will leave me if I get a boob job..."
My take is that he sees through the vannity of breast augmentation. Some guys like them, women too, it surely enhances a profile, or chest protrusion. But really, what is it about fake tits other than the temporary looks? And then the on going maintenance and failure? And look at all the cancer victims from the old silicone ones leaking.
Wife has big soft naturals. Her friend had implants, and when she hugged you she hung them on you. Egads, they're hard. And then in later years she had to have them removed. Oh well, she could surely sell her sex appeal with them.
I'm against them, I think vanity is the better part of it, and usually at some third party's expense.
I don't like piercings or tattoos either. Or threesomes. And I'm not changing my mind. :)
For most men, small naturals will always trump big fake ones.
I only recently learned they have to be removed and replaced. That would kill the idea of them totally for me. I don't think the boyfriend should threaten her. That's too controlling. It is her choice. It's a dealbreaker for him, as well as for her. Someone will probably like them. Sigh.
We’re still on this good bye ma’am. We talked this weekend.
Fake boobs are a turn off.
Let me see what you have and I will let you know
Let him leave
U can date me once U get your tits done
Do what you want to.
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