Give the right kind of attention, which is pure kindness.
Its important to look for dangerous signals, but don't confuse them with... just being a guy. Guys will say things on accident, we have a multi processor car engine brain, same as ladies.. but science shows our attention is vastly different and when were together we'll both say things we didn't really mean to. Guys feel a need to lead the conversation when couples just meet, and that should find a balance later, but if they like you, they're gonna try to be confident and still have that 5000 needles on the skin nervousness feeling. So.. judgement is still such a killer. Many people think they know when they don't. Ask HIM questions and he'll open up. We used to be told to ask women questions, but if yea, theyre all dying to meet you, just dont hand out your goods, ever. No reason to do that, unless you're 100% sure he's the right guy and y'all are committed. Just dont, walk away if he's really pushy or ask him, "can we wait?" Explain it to him cause he doesn't know any better, he's tryna impress you too. Sex early on causes so many problems in relationships, just doesn't work. Pass that on.
Call me traditional, i know women can have their fun and ditch easier, but its taxing as fuck on us. can't be easy on you all either.
Meet him where he is.
You want to trade! Sure. Try to get rejected for 100 000 years. Let's see if the female mentality would be the same after that. It's to late to change history and some changes has been done , some are positive and some are straight dump. It's ok! We are used to been rejected that shows how some men have stronger mentality (not all men). No need to literally take what i wrote, it's just a fact through the history course. At the same time there was eras where women has been forced to marry a man and that is for few religions and few countries still a thing till date but the majority still can choose their own man.
No need to fear rejection. Once you realize there's many chances to offer romance to others that you like, it takes the pressure off. Yes, you will always find someone else you like. You're not stuck with one crush that happens to be unrequited love your whole life. 😊
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Umm I already know this. But guys got courage and suck it up then do it anyways. I've been rejected many times and it's still a scary thing to ask out women.
by the way women are still being used for sex. Why do you think cheating and divorce is still so high?
So... If your solution to "not be used" is to never ask any guy out ever. Well good luck with that. Players are still gonna play whether you like it or not.
And it's not the guys fault for women making stupid decisions. It's your body you choose what you do with it.
The first girl I asked out went and told the principal a bunch of lies that she thought I was going to rape her, or stalk her, or harass her. And the principal came down on me with FULL FORCE. Just for asking a girl out. So I have always been very afraid of asking a girl out. But yea I always thought that since guys are always the ones getting accused of sexual harassment... etc... etc that women just go around and ask out who they want. I mean I understand that some guys are more out there. But I have had women walk right up and grab my crotch or sit in my lap or say that they like me. I have only asked out maybe two people my entire life.
You just have to accept that rejection is part of life and learn to deal with it. Recognise that you will never win if you're so afraid of losing that you don't even play. It's not as scary when you realise that it is a realistic possibility, but one rejection is just one rejection, not the end of the world.
What you described isn't rejection. Being used is male douchery, not rejection. The female equivalent of douchery is letting a guy you guy you have no interest in, give you attention and take you out... basically lead him on the way the guy who uses you for sex is leading you on.
Those are mindfucks! Mind games! Rejection is simply putting yourself out there and not having your interest requited. No ill-intent. No malice, hopefully.
this can't be an even trade, cause someone always has to risk being hurt first. you're affraid of being used just for sex? well maybe if women wouldn't be so super stingy and uptight about sex, men wouldn't have to try so hard to just get that xD
lolololol Shall we feel sympathy for you because you reject us for pretty boys who just want to screw you before moving on to the next shallow girl eager to take your place because she also believes that attractive means he's a great guy in every way?
No. Not happening. You chose the guys for his looks and then found out what type of person he was when he kicked you to the curb. Proves that all that crap about looking for a great personality, honesty, etc didn't work out with those guys did it?
Every girl I have interacted with always tries to lock commitment down prior to sex.
Typically they'll give tiny parts to 'hold us over' while they check to make sure we won't bail. This might mean nudes or a video. Or possibly going on dates or kissing.
After a while, plus dome investment from the guy, then she'll get naked.
That's where the expression men hold power of commitment while women hold power of sex comes from.
I think you may be missing it. men dislike and fear rejection. a lot. generally. we are just more used to it. it is analogous to how patriarchy and society fucks everyone. for ex. women are lead to believe that men are sex maniacs who will ALWAYS be dtf. when, in reality, we are just like women. sometimes, we don't want to. but, when expressed, it can make women feel unattractive or can lead to lashing out.
Men are aware that women fear rejection. What they have a problem with is that while both fear rejection, the men are the ones that put their feelings on the line more often, taking the risk, while the woman does the rejecting, passing judgement like a picture on tinder. Yet when they are interested, they wait for the guy to notice them or make a move rather than do anything themselves.
This does no apply to ALL men or ALL women. I;m just generalizing.
No, sorry, women do not fear rejection in the same way as men. Because men are the ones who have to face it. Women don't.
That's like saying you're both afraid of the draft, when the draft only applies to men. You're tangentially affected at best.
In my experience you have to leave fear at the door and Always be straight up with your partner. And have him do the same. Tell each other what you want and expect. Maybe not expect but let him know what you would like and what makes you feel like you wanna feel. Lack of communication is deadly to a relationship
yes men are aware that women fear rejection, the difference being that women don't normally have to deal with the consequences of it because society expects the man to make the first move. also explains why men are more humble and women are more arrogant when it comes to dating. not to mention, the guys that make lots of moves on women are usually the ones looking for sex.
that is not fearing rejection but more of fear of being taken advantage on, which i can't blame y'all because I've seen it happen a lot, the thing is that if someone is actually interested in you and not just your body, it would be easy to detect, such as going out of their way for you and is supportive on your decisions and things like that, obviously if someone is trying to seduce you on the first date, that should be a red flag.
Men who understand women are aware of it. Gag in itself is enough proof of that. Every time a woman gets rejected she simulates the end of the world and then starts with all the shaming language and false rape accusations.
Nooo, women fear rejection a whole lot MORE
Men have had to get used to being mistreated by cruel females. Nobody said a word, you had to be a man.
How those better with emotions will handle it now - is up to them/you to figure out.
Welcome to the club. It might force women to be honest.
Women have a greater fear of rejection. Men have a greater fear of abandonment and betrayal, at least when sincerely committed.
But women do reject far more than men. Women a very selective. For every male ancestor you have, you have two female ancestors, indicating only some males ever got to have a family. And twice as many women had a family. That's a big deal in life.
I think for women it’s much easier to avoid rejection. Men have to play 4D chess to get around the hard to get facade and there is also a risk that the crush could cry harassment because it was an “unwanted advancement” as if he was somehow supposed to know that before he speaks to her. Happens more often than you think.
People get rejected because they make stupid mistakes.
Don't waste your time with anyone who isn't shown you interest and you won't get rejected. That simple.
I think most men (including me) do realise that women gear rejection as much as men. The difference is is that it's become the social norm for men to ask out women and we are brought up to think that it's mostly us that gets rejected, but most men do appreciate the fact that women fear rejection as much as we do.
Difficult question to answer that one, I think both sides just need to be a bit braver and put themselves out there
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