Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Give the right kind of attention, which is pure kindness.
Its important to look for dangerous signals, but don't confuse them with... just being a guy. Guys will say things on accident, we have a multi processor car engine brain, same as ladies.. but science shows our attention is vastly different and when were together we'll both say things we didn't really mean to. Guys feel a need to lead the conversation when couples just meet, and that should find a balance later, but if they like you, they're gonna try to be confident and still have that 5000 needles on the skin nervousness feeling. So.. judgement is still such a killer. Many people think they know when they don't. Ask HIM questions and he'll open up. We used to be told to ask women questions, but if yea, theyre all dying to meet you, just dont hand out your goods, ever. No reason to do that, unless you're 100% sure he's the right guy and y'all are committed. Just dont, walk away if he's really pushy or ask him, "can we wait?" Explain it to him cause he doesn't know any better, he's tryna impress you too. Sex early on causes so many problems in relationships, just doesn't work. Pass that on.
Call me traditional, i know women can have their fun and ditch easier, but its taxing as fuck on us. can't be easy on you all either.
Meet him where he is.
You want to trade! Sure. Try to get rejected for 100 000 years. Let's see if the female mentality would be the same after that. It's to late to change history and some changes has been done , some are positive and some are straight dump. It's ok! We are used to been rejected that shows how some men have stronger mentality (not all men). No need to literally take what i wrote, it's just a fact through the history course. At the same time there was eras where women has been forced to marry a man and that is for few religions and few countries still a thing till date but the majority still can choose their own man.
Cool story bro. Try being lied to, led on and manipulated just to be dumped like garbage after having sex. I'd take instant rejection ANY TIME over being used for sex. Fun times!
Girls have 2 things to fear of when approaching: 1. instant rejection and 2. being used for sex. The latter is more common because when a guy is approached by a girl he will at least see it as an easy way to get laid, even though he's not interested in anything more. Guys only have 1 thing to fear: instant rejection. Because being used for sex doesn't hurt guys as much as it hurts girls (correct me if I'm wrong).
@little_bird1 I don't speak for all men like i wrote. I speak for my self and getting rejected has been there for me a lot and i don't approach for sex, never been my style. And please don't ''BRO'' me , god i hate that word. Everyone wants to get laid even old folks. How often do you see girls approaching guys? Giving a compliment is not an approach, just letting you know.
@little_bird1 Guys get used for money don't forget that part. You'll rarely see a male gold digger. At least you benefit from sex. Guys get NOTHING out of spending his money on a girl for it to go nowhere. You really think women aren't manipulative? I'm sure you've used sexual influence or fake tears at some point to get what you want. Don't speak about guys if you clearly know nothing about them
No need to fear rejection. Once you realize there's many chances to offer romance to others that you like, it takes the pressure off. Yes, you will always find someone else you like. You're not stuck with one crush that happens to be unrequited love your whole life. 😊
Opinion
57Opinion
Umm I already know this. But guys got courage and suck it up then do it anyways. I've been rejected many times and it's still a scary thing to ask out women.
by the way women are still being used for sex. Why do you think cheating and divorce is still so high?
So... If your solution to "not be used" is to never ask any guy out ever. Well good luck with that. Players are still gonna play whether you like it or not.
And it's not the guys fault for women making stupid decisions. It's your body you choose what you do with it.
The first girl I asked out went and told the principal a bunch of lies that she thought I was going to rape her, or stalk her, or harass her. And the principal came down on me with FULL FORCE. Just for asking a girl out. So I have always been very afraid of asking a girl out. But yea I always thought that since guys are always the ones getting accused of sexual harassment... etc... etc that women just go around and ask out who they want. I mean I understand that some guys are more out there. But I have had women walk right up and grab my crotch or sit in my lap or say that they like me. I have only asked out maybe two people my entire life.
You just have to accept that rejection is part of life and learn to deal with it. Recognise that you will never win if you're so afraid of losing that you don't even play. It's not as scary when you realise that it is a realistic possibility, but one rejection is just one rejection, not the end of the world.
I think you may be missing it. men dislike and fear rejection. a lot. generally. we are just more used to it. it is analogous to how patriarchy and society fucks everyone. for ex. women are lead to believe that men are sex maniacs who will ALWAYS be dtf. when, in reality, we are just like women. sometimes, we don't want to. but, when expressed, it can make women feel unattractive or can lead to lashing out.
What you described isn't rejection. Being used is male douchery, not rejection. The female equivalent of douchery is letting a guy you guy you have no interest in, give you attention and take you out... basically lead him on the way the guy who uses you for sex is leading you on.
Those are mindfucks! Mind games! Rejection is simply putting yourself out there and not having your interest requited. No ill-intent. No malice, hopefully.
Gold digging is the equivalent
this can't be an even trade, cause someone always has to risk being hurt first. you're affraid of being used just for sex? well maybe if women wouldn't be so super stingy and uptight about sex, men wouldn't have to try so hard to just get that xD
^^^
DING DING DING!!!
In an era where women have control of their reproduction, there's no logical reason to hold back! ... other than manipulation >:(
also there's still that weird expectation of women that men should do the approaching coupled with a very arrogant and depreciative way of dealing with actually approaching men. you won't know if he "just" wants sex by not having sex with anybody. we don't live in the dark ages. you can have sex. it doesn't mean you have to marry the person.
I'm not having sex with a guy just because he takes me to dinner. If the mood is right then sure. I'm not doing it just because," hey I took you out to lunch so let's fuck in the next 5 minutes." Absolutely not
You're the one who decides whether the "mood is right" whatever that means smh... If you like dick, you like dick sheesh XD
That's my point lol
obvioulsy paying lunch doesn't entitle a guy to sex this isn't what this entire question is about. it's about why should we enforce the standard for one gender to be the "active" asking out gender if both genders equally suffer from the negative consequence of being rejected?
and also why do girls always make it such a big deal? i mean i get it he shouldn't feel "entiteled" to get sex but think about all the things you feel entiteled to "get" before you "grant" them sex. we all know men are not the gate keepers of sex anyway.
yeah and to @genericname85's point, you're being super stingy and uptight about it
@genericname85 and a new friendship is born ahaha
You said we are being stingy with sex. So that sounds as though you are entirely. Dicks don't get loose like vaginas. we aren't going to fuck every guy we go on a date with. if we were in a relationship then absolutely sex is available.
*entitled
lmfao you're the one who sounds entitled to ADDITIONAL things BEYOND sex.
Sex for sex-is that not a "even trade" as you put it? Whatever your answer, it's the same as the answer to your original question.
Who said anything about a date, anyway? If it were up to most of us guys, we'd skip the whole date pageantry! lol
@DonCachondo whens the last time you've had a girlfriend or a date? Lol.. its a serious question
How's that a serious question? It's totally irrelevant to the topic. Nobody's talking about relationships.
ok maybe take this to be less about you personally. this is more about the general population and the female gender. i really understand that this is an issue. how do you know if he "only" wants sex? well apparently the strategy most women choose to avoid being wanted "only for their body" is not having sex. is this a good solution though?
that's my critiquing point when is say "women are stingy with sex". because in my opinion this doesn't lead to "fuck boys losing interest", this leads to genuinely emotionally invested guys to drop you cause you think you're not sexually interested and without sex they can't even begin to want a relationship.
because you know we guys do also want to be sexually wanted, even if we want her for more than just the sex. and if we don't get that, we get demotivated, depressed and unloved and we will just move on. that's what it is. and fuckboys don't have this emotional response. they just wanna fuck. they keep fuck options around so by "making them wait", you do nothing. they'll fuck someone else untill you let them fuck you. and if you never let them fuck you, it's like "whatever... next" to them.
all this assuming of course that you're dealing with a man that is sexually attractive to you.
... cause they think...*
@genericname85 yeah boiii
lolololol Shall we feel sympathy for you because you reject us for pretty boys who just want to screw you before moving on to the next shallow girl eager to take your place because she also believes that attractive means he's a great guy in every way?
No. Not happening. You chose the guys for his looks and then found out what type of person he was when he kicked you to the curb. Proves that all that crap about looking for a great personality, honesty, etc didn't work out with those guys did it?
Uh most of the guys trying to get laid aren't the attractive ones. Its the botter uglies trying to get "revenge" on women
@HoratioCaine exactly, most guys who have asked to sleep with me were men i would never sleep with
Every girl I have interacted with always tries to lock commitment down prior to sex.
Typically they'll give tiny parts to 'hold us over' while they check to make sure we won't bail. This might mean nudes or a video. Or possibly going on dates or kissing.
After a while, plus dome investment from the guy, then she'll get naked.
That's where the expression men hold power of commitment while women hold power of sex comes from.
dome investment? Like a bj?
Men are aware that women fear rejection. What they have a problem with is that while both fear rejection, the men are the ones that put their feelings on the line more often, taking the risk, while the woman does the rejecting, passing judgement like a picture on tinder. Yet when they are interested, they wait for the guy to notice them or make a move rather than do anything themselves.
This does no apply to ALL men or ALL women. I;m just generalizing.
No, sorry, women do not fear rejection in the same way as men. Because men are the ones who have to face it. Women don't.
That's like saying you're both afraid of the draft, when the draft only applies to men. You're tangentially affected at best.
In my experience you have to leave fear at the door and Always be straight up with your partner. And have him do the same. Tell each other what you want and expect. Maybe not expect but let him know what you would like and what makes you feel like you wanna feel. Lack of communication is deadly to a relationship
yes men are aware that women fear rejection, the difference being that women don't normally have to deal with the consequences of it because society expects the man to make the first move. also explains why men are more humble and women are more arrogant when it comes to dating. not to mention, the guys that make lots of moves on women are usually the ones looking for sex.
that is not fearing rejection but more of fear of being taken advantage on, which i can't blame y'all because I've seen it happen a lot, the thing is that if someone is actually interested in you and not just your body, it would be easy to detect, such as going out of their way for you and is supportive on your decisions and things like that, obviously if someone is trying to seduce you on the first date, that should be a red flag.
Not true. You have no idea to what length of effort and patients guys would go just to get laid. Most are impossible to detect. It's like I would say it's easy to detect if a girl will reject you after being very friendly with you. Not easy at all.
Men who understand women are aware of it. Gag in itself is enough proof of that. Every time a woman gets rejected she simulates the end of the world and then starts with all the shaming language and false rape accusations.
Nooo, women fear rejection a whole lot MORE
Men have had to get used to being mistreated by cruel females. Nobody said a word, you had to be a man.
How those better with emotions will handle it now - is up to them/you to figure out.
Welcome to the club. It might force women to be honest.
Women have a greater fear of rejection. Men have a greater fear of abandonment and betrayal, at least when sincerely committed.
But women do reject far more than men. Women a very selective. For every male ancestor you have, you have two female ancestors, indicating only some males ever got to have a family. And twice as many women had a family. That's a big deal in life.
Women are very selective**
I'd say men fear rejection just as much. Only difference is that we're expected to overcome it.
You're assuming our female ancestors always had a choice. History is rife with forced marriages and concubinage. And let's not forget that a prerequisite to reproduction is survival, which means our female ancestors wouldn't have had the chance to be our ancestors to begin with if they didn't select males who could provide for them and their children.
I think it is false to imply that men were generally complicit but women weren't. I mean if we're talking about forced marraiges and concubinage, no one had a choice there, unless you refer to the wealthy few. But all the evidence, even that which predates recorded history points to women being highly selective, and more selective than men.
I mean, mentioning survival only helps prove my point it seems.
I think for women it’s much easier to avoid rejection. Men have to play 4D chess to get around the hard to get facade and there is also a risk that the crush could cry harassment because it was an “unwanted advancement” as if he was somehow supposed to know that before he speaks to her. Happens more often than you think.
People get rejected because they make stupid mistakes.
Don't waste your time with anyone who isn't shown you interest and you won't get rejected. That simple.
I think most men (including me) do realise that women gear rejection as much as men. The difference is is that it's become the social norm for men to ask out women and we are brought up to think that it's mostly us that gets rejected, but most men do appreciate the fact that women fear rejection as much as we do.
@Gatman34 yes we do
Difficult question to answer that one, I think both sides just need to be a bit braver and put themselves out there
Both rejection and being used for sex suck, but I totally agree that we all must take that risk.
@little_bird1 They do both suck for sure but yeah people just need to be a bit braver :)
Yes but you women get rejected far less then guys. So this is a bullshit statement we all know guys get rejected a shit ton and women rarely ever do
I've been rejected many many times. Not counting dating apps, 11 times in total 2019. And that's only counting instant rejections when I approached first and guy said "no thanks". 11 times! Add dating apps, being used for sex and being led on by guys who didn't know what they wanted, that would make more 30 failed attempts in 2019.
You think women don't get rejected because it's a taboo to talk about it. It's embarrassing. Society calls us desperate and sluts, so we don't talk about it. Half of those rejections I had nobody knows about, it goes with me to my grave.
This guy gets it! Women tell that to each other to discourage women overall from making the first move.
Simple, be straightforward and cut the bullshit
Communication is a good thing and being honest. Want to chat? 😃
I don't believe women do. There are likely women who are very fearful of rejection but I doubt its similar or comparable to the fear men have.
Its a lot bigger deal for us.
That's why it's one sided and men have to do all the work because everyone would be single if someone didn't just pull the trigger. Guys are afraid of being used for money by the way. There are girls who hop on Tinder just to get food out of people
Communication and honesty. You should watch the movie "the invention of lying" we need honesty, not as extreme as that movie, but if everything was our there there would be no issues.
Rejection is tough, but it's a part of dating. Being used is a legit fear.
Both men and women need to take initiative and talk to people they like, sure you can be afraid of rejection but don't let that fear control you, take charge and carve out a path for your own happiness.
Just don't think of sex, neither when approaching nor when being approached. You women seem to have the wildest fantasies about sex whilst we men just have the usual PIV which is far easier than anything else.
Women don't have it anywhere near as bad as men do in the dating scene, so I really wouldn't complain if I were you.
Make an even trade = how can we get you to continue taking all of the risks like you used to.
No it is not even trade.
Women at your age can go and find men, without any issues.
And you just keep sex as hostage, most of times anyway.
When for men it is different game.
I'm not blaming anyone here...
Don't compare women's rejection with men
If one man rejects a woman , another man will waiting in the corner for her attention
But once a man gets rejected , there's no one for him
Pathetic those three women who down voted don't realise it pathetic
You live in fantasy. Only models have guys waiting in the line.
@little_bird1 really if that's the case everyday women would not complain about catcalling then only models would
Your the one living in a fantasy , there's probably an incel drooling for you
I don't fear rejection. It is just part of life for those who try. No one with more than a few swings bats 1.000
Those who do fear rejection, I think, suffer from a scarcity mentality.
By lifting your heads up from your silly smartphones, girls we cannot talk to you anymore, you are always focused on your insta, snap, whatsapp stuffs...
more than you than you know. we use it against you to sleep with you
How often does a woman get rejected, compared to a man? I rest my case.
@5yrup I'm not angry at women at all, and your assumption is a misdirect. We're not talking about desperate men that no woman in her right mind would EVER accept, being rejected. Those guys don't count. But to use your own example, the woman who respects herself and has the standards and preferences you speak of gets exposed to very few men who live up to those in the first place. So are we talking about those who actually DO meet her standards, but then reject her? This a very low number, percentage wise.
@5yrup could be desperation sometimes but I suspect most guys are simply attracted to girls at a much higher rate than vice versa. I'm one of the pickier guys by the way haha
@5yrup News flash, men want to fuck.
@DonCachondo I believe "insecure people" fear rejection, whether they're men OR women. But I do believe since men are mostly the "pursuers", they get rejected way more often than women do.
There is no such thing as even trade, there will always be one side that has a stronger pull than the other. However in this growing #metoo generation, I feel like the scale is tipping over to the female in term of natural urge.
Simply don’t give a shit and everything falls into place.
You can initiate, but not have sex with him until after a certain point when you feel he is not using you.
uSeD fOr SeX
Sigh... the root of all dating annoyances. Who'd want to commit to that kind of score-keeping attitude, anyway?
Well you never know what the other person really wants, so beyond being clear about what you're looking for, you can't know I'm afraid.
I’ve never been used for sex, I don’t think that would I mind either so why do women care? And I don’t they get rejected as often as men do either
They care because you're basically a home invader if you aren't wanted in. You're putting yourself inside of them. We don't feel what they feel emotionally or physically. We all crave that person that makes us feel special and wanted, but I think socially, women are more victim to this than men are.
@ImagineSketchy Yeah that emotional thing gets in way
Best way I can think of is go with the flow an feel each other out an slowly figure it out an always be the real people whom you are an don't hide the real you 💯
Just be able to communicate politely your thoughts an feelings
In dating and romance women hold all of the cards, so stop feeling sorry for yourself.
True, woman can get rejected too, and some don't take it well. But I think no one takes it well.
Really I honestly never knew that I guess you guys hide it better
Nobody said women aren't afraid of rejection. Guys are just more use to it
We all go through almost the same thing we don't have to be a guy or girl
We both just need to approach who we're attracted to
Either way men still have to approach. If you like a guy show him your interested instead of making him guess.
Maybe we need a code word
I fear dying single lol.
You are very beautiful 😂👍
men have a lot worse lol
Women are juggernauts they can take that shit..
No you absolutely don't. Girls don't get rejected.
I am aware.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions