My girlfriend won't spend time with me. Help?

[kajoharudo12]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4, going on 5, months now, and she won't pay attention. I'm taking her down to the riverside at night to hang out, kick the water, and stare at an unadulterated sky, taking her out to fancy-ish restaurants, making dinner for her at home, and she won't get off her phone. She spends almost all of our time together looking through Instagram, wish, and Amazon, yet, if I ask her to put her phone down and spend time with me, she gets mad at me and says I don't get it. I'm 19, and she turns 19 in a couple months. I just don't understand why nothing is good enough to catch her attention. Is it something I'm doing too much of? Something I'm not doing? If anything points to ulterior motives, we've had intercourse once, upon her "persuading" me. I haven't tried to force it at all.

[Truthatanycost]

You need boundaries. Why are you doing all of this for a girl that won't even look you in the eye? She knows she does not deserve any of this that you are doing for her, and ironically will be even more turned off when she notices you are still doing it for her after her rudeness.

''making dinner for her at home, and she won't get off her phone.''

If any girl was acting that way with me, she wouldn't even be getting a glass of water. You need to stop trying to 'buy' her attention and get the hell out.

[kajoharudo12]

I don't feel like I'm buying her attention... this is just the way I act. Everyone says it's "super romantic", but I believe it's standard... or should be.

Why would it turn her off more? I figured she'd just catch on and set her phone down or at least look up. Have I mistaken my current generation, or is today's world just that frustrating?

[Truthatanycost]

Today's world is upside down, and largely dominated by the ego, rather than the true self. Therefore for the most part, thoughtful, romantic, and supportive behavior will be looked down on, and taken advantage off.

Observe dating coaches over the years and you will notice a shift in what they teach. It has gone from courting to manipulation tactics.

I said she'd be more turned off because you are treating her in a way she knows she does not deserve, and has not earned. If you lived in a different world, none of this would be happening.

[kajoharudo12]

Guess I'm old fashioned, huh?

[Screenwriter]

Sounds like she's incredibly rude and not interested in you or being with you. If she was, she WOULD put her phone down and talk to you and enjoy time with you. What you're doing too much of is being nice to someone who's not nice or respectful to you. Walk away. You're wasting your time.

[kajoharudo12]

I suppose you're right. On the rare occasion she glances up from the blue screen, it's just to mention something about her ex.

[Screenwriter]

I'm sorry to hear this. There are nice women out there who'd enjoy your company and attentiveness. I think what's happening here is she likes you chasing after her. She doesn't have to do anything. Just let you serve her. She's a fairly awful person. She deserves a glass of water poured over her head as you walk out the door. Ugh.

[kajoharudo12]

Maybe I would be better off finding someone to appreciate my time and effort. A couple of her friends warned me that she has some pretty bad mood swings, but she would have to actually show a personality to have moods. It's sad that her little sister (17, so not even on the radar) thinks I'm great, and she doesn't like most (keyword, meaning I'm not the only one she doesn't despise) guys. Ugh. I'm terrified of dating apps, too, but nobody gets off their phone long enough to form attachments anymore. Am I too old fashioned?

[Screenwriter]

Honey, there are loads of people who get off their phones long enough to develop and continue relationships... Dating apps are simply tools. You still have to meet and talk to people. People who live inside their phones ALL the time don't want to connect. You're normal. Just keep looking.

[kajoharudo12]

Thank you. I'm gonna talk to her one more time about this whole phone thing, and if it doesn't get better, I'll end it. You've actually been a great help.

[Screenwriter]

Secondarily, you might tell her you're tired of hearing about her ex, too. Either the phone and the ex talk go, or she goes. I bet you hard cash, she leaves.

[kajoharudo12]

Good idea. I try to be romantic and loving, but it's just hard, y'know?

[Screenwriter]

No, with her, it's impossible. Just keep telling yourself that. And don't listen to her WORDS. They are worthless. Her actions have told the story from the start. Just end it. Cry in your beer or whisky or weed or smartwater, and move on...