OK, I have a question about the question..."If someone had sex with over 50 people are they a player"?

Question

A nice female GAG member posted this question recently and 1/3 of the girls that responded said no and about 1/2 the guys said no.

How could someone not be a player after more than 50 sexual encounters... I'm confused?

Is it because I'm blonde that I don't get it? ... or I just don't understand the proper definition of what "a Player" is?

Can anyone help me with this?

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

A player is a guy who gives the intent that he wants what YOU want, mainly a relationship, but he toys with your emotions and feelings. BUT he does that to other women and girls at the same freaking TIME. His games are endless with psychology tricks:

1. He is dominating and is forceful but knows when to pull away into tempting you. He will make you question your desires and overall wants. He will use gaslighting to win you.
2. He will use "AlPHA male" tactics such as the stare, but don't smile. He knows the eyes are the mirror of the soul. He wants to get into your head. Once he knows your thinking about him, he already WON.
3. Next, he will play upon your insecurities all women hate. Attention from other females. It doesn't even matter if you're disgusted at his tactics or how stupid and naive these girls just fall for him. It's like their brainwashed. But that's not even the point. The point is if he knows your not interested, worse if your playing hard to get, What he wants, is your reaction. Because now he can get to you.
4. While players like to flirt with everybody and your no exception. A player doesn't give up on the conquest. Especially if your virginal and knows you never dated anybody. He preys on young vulnerable females who aren't sexually experienced often, never dated before, a romantic idealist, or is the broken bird and guarded if she has. He is not interested in the willing. But will work hard just to know he's satisfied he broke her.
5. Going back to the willing. Yes, he will have sex with them, use them for friends with benefits, etc. BUT he gets a better kick at something and somebody he can't have. He'll give them some type of sexual experiences like mutual masturbating to even sexual touches or other sexual activities that aren't intercourse. But again, it's boring to them.
6. He is a natural master manipulator. He lies, and his lies are often believable. You cannot believe him because he lies so much. He lies to everybody. including his mama. He'll make it out like he's looking for somebody special when in reality he just enjoys the game. Heck, even the one he marries would have to be willing to put up to his charms and antics.
7. While there is often some prejudice that they have to be horny teenagers to young adult men, players will, of course, enjoy those sexual escapades at those ages IF successful, but they usually tend to struggle hard while married. Perhaps getting into open marriages and relationships for the sake of 'spicing it up', when in reality this is just psychological dysfunction going on. Whether they become sex addicts or nymphomaniacs or not is debatable.

So to address what I have stated. ARE they players if they had sex with over 50 people? No. Does it make them manwhores? Oh yeah! A hoe is a hoe I always say. Now can a manwhore be a player? Of course. BUT, does a person have to have over 50 just to be players? No. They don't even need to have sex. Again, a player is a smooth operator who manipulates WOMEN, or these days, whoever their sexually attracted to, to get what they want no matter how they have to do it. They date many at one time, often give you vague answers leaving you to assumptions. Even some good guys who get tons of female attention sadly have that vibe and energy even if they haven't done anything and goes against their morals. But that is how much in trouble we are in because somebody always gets hurt.

Wonderer89 · Accepted Answer

OK, I have a question about the question..."If someone had sex with over 50 people are they a player"?

A player is someone who manipulates to get sex, they make promises or allude to it being more than just sex in order for the other person to sleep with them and then they drop them and move to the next person.
If someone is having openly casual sex with both people being on the same page it’s not them being a player. It might be distasteful; but it’s not a player

Obtuse · Accepted Answer

In my case, it was never a game, and it wasn't like I got to those numbers in just a few years. One complexifying factor for me is that I traveled a lot. That made it tricky to keep not only girlfriends for long periods (tried but LDRs tended to fizzle out) but also friends. I never whispered lies into a girl's ear or manipulated her into sleeping with me. My approach was very straightforward. That's why I don't consider myself a "player".

I also got married in the end, and very faithfully and happily. Actually part of what prompted that was not only finding the most suitable and compatible one (my wife who I met at a picnic) who was as serious about me as I was about her, but also ceasing to take jobs that had me traveling to new locations.

As for how I got to those numbers, on average my relationships might have only lasted around a month. I had a few that lasted for well over a year but they were very few and far in between. Sometimes in my most cynical states about dating and marriage like after breaking in a serious one or receiving news from an LDR that she found a boyfriend, I would accept something which was almost certainly going to be no more than a fling, like dating a girl who had to go to a different country after the summer ended, and I'd have to go to a different city. It's like we both knew from the start that nothing lasting could come of this, but we embraced the fun times we could have during the remainder of the summer. That actually happened a number of times in my case.

I also even had cases where I went to a bar or club, got into a conversation with a girl, we'd dance, and one thing would lead to another with a complete stranger. And that might understandably lead to questions about my sense of commitment, but the next morning I'd typically make her breakfast and want to go out. However silly it was, I thought that sexual chemistry and jumpstart could have some chance, however small, to something substantial. Very often that didn't work out, including some cases where the girl seemed to be confused that I was seeking more than an ONS. So I didn't

Finally, I don't mean to boast so much but I had some sort of charm or something with women to get women approaching me left and right at social events and getting very flirty without barely ever having to approach myself. It wasn't like I was a stud but I have strange biracial looks which seem to draw some minority of women like a magnet, but strong enough to get even guys approaching me asking me how I do it (and I don't know, I suspect my looks are "exotic" to some women and probably ugly to others). But I never took such invitations lightly and was hardly the type to sleep with a girl and not call her back later (I've been on the receiving end of this but never on the delivery).

bamesjond0069 · Accepted Answer

Its based on how you behave. If you dont play girls then you aren't a player. Playing a girl is pretend to be serious just to hookup and then dump them.

MrOracle · Answer

I think it has a whole lot more to do with your average number-per-year, starting at, say, 16, to whatever your current age is.

Based on that approximation, a 21-year-old with 50 sexual partners is very different than, say, me, at 49, with 50 sexual partners. The 21-year-old is averaging 8+ partners per year, while the 49-year-old is averaging 1.5 per year.

in my opinion, if you're at 5 or more per year, you're probably a player (as a guy).

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The answer to questions such as this always depend on a definition of the operative term. Ask these people what it means to be a "player" and you'll get many different definitions.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I don't know either.. I'm as blonde as you on this one. I just hope to hell they used 50+condoms.. or that's just some scary ass shit!!

Anonymous · Answer

I"d say a player is someone who manipulates women to have sex with them. If a person is honest about his intentions then he isn't a player. Now for me personally 50 is a lot especially if they are young. It could be someone who wants lots of sex or there could be an emotional health component to it. People who abuse alcohol and drugs tend to have more partners.

If you figure a man has two sex partners every year from 18 to 30 his number would hit 26 at age 30. I'm not saying all men just some men.

Finchie40 · Answer

Well to have 50 different sex partners just says the person isn’t capable of committing to 1 person And doesn’t really have any morals, so yes they would be considered a player considering to get all those people in bed they were good at sweet talking and talking out their ass to get them in bed , that type of person doesn’t really know how to love they are all about themselves , how would you feel if you this person swept you off your feet made you think they were really into you , got you to have sex with them cuz they aren’t going to tell you the truth about how many people they had sex with , so you end up having sex with this person and then later on you find out from other people that they had sex with all these other people , how would that make you feel? So yes they played you , they told you what u wanted to hear to get u in bed

beldath · Answer

Depends on the circumstances. Typically, from what I understand, there are different types of players.
One player specifically seeks out women to sleep with just for the sex.
Another dates and sleeps with several women at once and one or more women don't know.
Those are the two main ones for me.
I've slept with more women than I'd like myself. Most of them just had sex with me, and that was it. Sometimes I was hoping for a relationship, but they weren't interested, and other times they wanted a relationship and I didn't.

NearlyNapping · Answer

It probably depends on people's definition of player. Some people consider anyone who is promiscuous a player. Others only consider it a player if they use deceptions and head games to get laid.

They've had sex with 50 people. <--- That says exactly what they did. There is no reason to narrow it down to a single word.

silvermoon84 · Answer

It depends. If he or she is playing with someone’s feelings and using them to get sex, money or whatever else then yes, that’s a player. Having over 50 sexual encounters without feelings involved doesn’t make the person a player though

Alpha09 · Answer

A player is someone who tells you they want to date you or make you think they want something more than sex. The number doesn't matter. But someone who has slept with 50 who is honest about thier intentions is just someone who is honest, and happens to have had 50 partner's.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Well you can't beat Charlie Sheen who was supposed to have had sex with over 2,000 women, but in my book 50 still makes you a Ho - both male or female. He says/she says

ZackBan · Answer

Well being a player is the equivalent of being an asshole to women really.
It has nothing to do with body count. If he had 50 different opportunities and made them all count then lucky him.
But if he's one of those who make false promises to get the sex and bolt in the morning then he's a player

likelyOK · Answer

So I think it depends on a lot. A) ur def of a players, which to me is someone who misleads someone for sex or whose only agenda is to have many partners
b) depending on how old u are you can accumulate a lot of partners overtime c) people go through phases

Anoniemus · Answer

That person can be horrendous at dating. Most likely they had sex with 50 different people. It doesn’t measure how many times they had with one person since they used the plural.

It doesn’t necessarily mean they are a player. What it does mean is that the more sexual encounters one has, the more likely they have had an STD and that they are likely to cheat if they get into a relationship.

DorkVader · Answer

Hook up culture and one nighters build a body count. My number doubles when I include one time partners and failed experiments, not just friends with benefits and boyfriends. You dont have to be a player, just a loose person. A player to me is someone who goes out with the purpose of scoring vs someone who just gets laid a lot. Seems like different things to me

devilish-cutie · Answer

Someone having a lot of sexual partners is definitely a FUCKBOY. Fuckboys usually are players but tehnically if a guy is honest about only wanting sex means he is just a whore not a player. Yet just wanting sex and not being willing to commit can actually make him a player cause he may have feelings/connections with girls yet still decide he only wants sex. And basically he is playing the feild. In reality most fuckbys are players, goes hand in hand so you are not 100% wrong.

Avicenna · Answer

That has a lot to do with two things. First, men usually exaggerate that number and women often admit to a lower one than is true. Second, a man sleeping with 50 women, none of which were prostitutes, is more impressive than a woman doing so.

Also, given the increased focus on hookups these days, maybe people are just inured to a high number. Cheating is also likely to be a reason for a high number.

DanishSaint · Answer

Hm... well, okay then:

I have been with more than 50 different women - all of them in my "younger days" - but I have never seen myself as a player. I was messed up and sexually completely fucked up...
I don´t give much for all these definitions. Why do we have this need to stigmatize people? So fucking what, if someone has been with a lot of different partners... some people are more sexually active than others, some are curious, some like to experiment and hell, some just like sex!!!

Ripper_E · Answer

Having 50 or more sexual encounters does not make one a player. A player can be manipulative and will say or do almost anything to get what they want, which is sex. If a woman falls for it and has sex with 50 of them, does that make her a player? No, that makes her stupid and gullible. Same for a man if he allows himself to be seduced by women in that way.

1stranger · Answer

Hey Laurie, you're blonde but although I have black hair, most of the time I don't understand most things😄😄

Aceboii · Answer

A player is a dude/girl who “plays” with peoples feelings. Someone who has had sex with 50 people doesn’t make em a player (maybe a man whore) but if most of the 50 girls they’ve fucked are emotionally damaged because of the person, yeah they’re a player

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