My boyfriend said I reminded him of his abusive dad... am I abusive?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend wasn’t listening to me when I told him to stop I didn’t like what he was trying to do and I pushed him out my way once and he continued so I pushed him again. He ended up falling backwards and bumping his head on the table. I apologized and I’ve never put my hands on a guy before I think it’s wrong he wasn’t respecting my boundary and I kept saying no. He told me I was wrong and it was my fault and I told him it all happened because he doesn’t know how to stop and not joke around I wasn’t laughing. He told me that I reminded him of his abusive dad at that moment and that hurt I would never hurt him. I wanted him to be surprised with what I was doing and he kept trying to go in the room. When I said no.

[akihon]

Ok so I want you to listen to me very carefully, h was abusing you by not accepting your boundaries but you also abused him by pushing him

Now here's the sticky point, I think that you were more defending yourself but that being said two wrongs do not make a right.

Now as for saying that you are just like his father it doesn't really matter whether you are or not.

I think you both are bad for each other if this is how your behaving and you both need to call time on this train wreck of a relationship before it goes into the abyss.

[Asker]

I didn’t mean to hurt him! I don’t think we are bad for each other this has never happened just upset he basically said I’m like his dad

[Asker]

Then he said how would I like it if I had shoved you but that wouldn’t have even happened if he respected my boundary to begin with I would respect his no.

[akihon]

Look I get you didn't mean to hurt him and it wouldn't have happened if... Said no abusive person ever. I'm not calling you the abuser solely here your both as bad as each other.

Whether or not you wanted to hurt him is irrelevant you both hurt each other, you both need to take some time to think about what it is you both actually want from your relationship

[Paris13]

Listen to the Master Here, Dear, THEY ALL SAY IT.
My Fiance: You remind me of Mum.
Dad to Sis: You're just like your Mother.
My EX: You are just like your Mother, Father, Family.
*Next Time, Tell him "Thanks, I am so Flattered."xx

[MzAsh]

No he was in the wrong. When you say no he should back off.

[Asker]

I really didn’t mean for him to fall on the ground

[COMMODOREII]

I don't know you.