Why do I sometimes feel jealous or envious of the guys I like sometimes?

[creativechick]

To be honest guys, I'm sad and I think I'm damaged in some ways mentally and emotionally. Sometimes I find myself getting jealous of the awesomeness of the guys that I like. Like there's something in me that gets jealous of their free spirit or accomplishments or talents and I have absolutely NO RIGHT to even have these feelings. I'm not God and I have no right, but sometimes this feeling comes and catches me off guard. It's not always guys that I like, I found myself having a jealous feeling towards my brothers talent once (WHICH I'VE NEVER FELT BEFORE) and this feeling came out of nowhere. What is wrong with me? If I am what they would call a narcissist why am I even on this Earth? Why did God create me? There's absolutely no meaning to life being brought here with such messed up ways. I also noticed that I don't love anyone in a romantic way and I wish I could have somebody to love and them loving me back but I have this fear or phobia that my partner could either be abusive or even me being abusive because of the strong way I feel emotions. What am I to do? Why am I even on this Earth? I even sometimes think I feel this feeling towards little kids sometimes. What on Earth is wrong with me? This is why I try not to ever date anyone because I don't want them discovering this about me and I also don't want to cause hell in other people's lives in the process.

[Avicenna]

Thats strange. Lack of confidence, perhaps?