Is she normal for Asian people to tell you to your face that you are fat?

[Anonymous]

I'm a Caucasian dating an Asian man. He's very sweet and always polite. His family though is a different story. I came over for dinner the other day and his mom only gave me a tiny portion of food. He asked her if they have more food and she said no, so he proceeded to give me some from his huge plate. His mom immediately said "Don't give her more food. She's already fat. Fat girls are not beautiful. She needs to lose weight". I was shocked. I'm not fat. I'm 5'4" and 125 pounds. I probably don't meet the skinny Asian girl standard but I'm definitely not overweight. I didn't say anything to her, but confronted my boyfriend afterwards. He said it's normal for Asian people to say that and that she doesn't have any animosity towards me. In fact, she only say it because she cares about me. Is that true or is my boyfriend just trying to cover his mom's a$$? Also how should I react if she calls me fat again? I don't want to get into a heated argument with his mom, but I can't let her think it's okay to call me fat either.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I've heard this is a common thing for Asian mothers, but can't confirm from my own experience. That said, obesity rates in Asian countries are pretty low across the board, so who knows, maybe they're onto something. Maybe UK and US are both nations full of fat people because we stopped shaming each other for it! Buuuut I'm not gonna defend the mum in this scenario, if it were her own daughter maybe I'd be like "meh, it's their business", but when an "outsider" gets dragged into that dynamic, it seems like crossing a line to me.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's very common in Asian cultures. If you start to get that in a place like Japan they will start calling you names like doughboy and poking at your fat.

Also countries like Japan they fine The business you work for if you're overweight. And they have very little obesity rate it's almost like fat shaming works

[JosyJosy]

Ooooh yes Asian people are very straight forward about it. They don't see it as an insult just a little remark. I have a friend like this. Maybe I should introduce her to this site, but yes her family is also like this, mom especially

[Alex_andrine]

This mom is a savage... I mean it's a thing to say that you're fat ( when you're obviously not 🤦🏾‍♀️) but too choose how much food you should eat? WOW. Rude.

[Avicenna]

He's correct, they do tell you that, and they do apply their own standards

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Asians are more shallow about such things. Parents push their kids a lot, mostly to bring honor into their family, even if its painful or unhealthy

[blondfrog]

I don't know I don't know too many Asian people in real life.

[novert]

There culture is very direct..

[Anonymous]

Peanut butter!