How picky are you to avoid dating a person because their past is a dealbreaker?

Yads_Is_Back · 2020-09-15T18:21:21Z

I recently (actually, it’s been a bit now but it’s a good example) got rid of a guy because he has tattoos and because I wasn’t willing to be his fifth sexual partner. His demeanor isn’t what I want in a man either, but you get the idea of what I’m asking. To me, I see it as the past is permanent so it cannot be fixed, and some things just don’t settle with me. I’m one who absolutely cannot accept certain things. It’s like marrying a criminal in my view; it’s the past but it is permanently effective. And I ask this for one reason: I get that judging someone on his/her past is not really an accurate or best way to go, but are there any who get my point and share it, or does this make me kind of evil? Because no, it can’t change. This is my view. Because I’ll be honest: the first month or two I talked to him he had had a crush on me and he was very kind and treated me well. He made a simple mistake and I found out these things and just - well, that did it for me. Completely turned me off. I can’t lie: he was amazing as far as treatment. And this has been a while ago, but it’s my best example.

bluetoblack99

Xper 5 Age: 42

How old is this guy?

Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
He’s 28 now. Why?

Reply
bluetoblack99

+1 y
You think he’s a man whore just because he’s only had 4 sexual partners in the past?

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
A whore enough that I don’t want him, that’s correct. I want a man with more respect.

Reply
bluetoblack99

+1 y
That’s not that many partners.

But maybe you can find the “40 year old virgin” or something. But I highly doubt you are going to find a guy who fits all “your standards” but you might find a few good liars out there. At least this guy is honest.

Do what you want. But your in for a rough road.

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
I mean, not really, because I have my dream man, whom I’m very lucky and blessed to have. I wouldn’t want a 40-year-old, virgin or not. I’m only 23 lol
Good men are not actually that hard to find if you respect them, are good to them, show how much you appreciate them, and give them something to respect too.

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
And I don’t think my standards are unreasonable. They’re high, and it takes a really good man to meet them, and I’m proud of that because it keeps me away from the ones who would be bad for me, like the particular guy mentioned in the question, and it gives me the good man I love. Low standards and no goals leads to destruction and waste.
So my standards are high, but they’re reasonable as long as I’m not a hypocrite about it, and my man meets them and actually exceeds them and everything I’ve ever wanted.

Reply
bluetoblack99

+1 y
If a guy is honest about a gray past thats a sign of some decency. There are lots of very good liars out there.

I’m no saint (my number is much higher than his) . But I have never in my life lied to get laid although I’ve seen tons of other guys do that. I have refused to answer unfair questions but that’s not the same as lying.

I just see you getting suckered for some scumbag in the near future. He will tell you everything you want to hear. But he will be a liar. By the time you find out it will be too late.

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
I disagree. We’ve loved each other for over a year, and he’s never lied to me. Plus that I know his family and his sister has been my best friend for the last five years - all through undergrad.
I think maybe you just can’t accept that I’ve actually found a man who’s good enough not to have to lie or avoid questions.
And that’s another thing that helps me determine if the guy meets my standards. If you don’t answer the questions then it’s safest for me to assume the worst, especially if your answer is what I want then you’d just answer. So lying and not answering are really both dishonest.
But yeah... let’s just say I’m so lucky and blessed to have the perfect man I have.

Reply
bluetoblack99

+1 y
You loved him over a year but you didn’t date him?

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
Yes I did, and we’ve had a crazy year, turned out engaged, and he makes me happy and is actually more than just my definition of perfect. My standards are high, and he is literally beyond perfect. Add to that the fact that we love each other.
Again, I’m super lucky. I’ve got it made.

Reply
bluetoblack99

+1 y
Then why are putting a post about a past experience? Your weird.

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
My experience is an example; it’s not the point of the actual question.

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
I also added an example in the update. A lot of times on here I post a question and I guess I don’t word it well because people are like whaaaat?

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
I’m proud to be weird lol

Reply
bluetoblack99

+1 y
Yeah but it’s dwelling on past problem that shouldn’t be an issue all considered.

Reply
Yads_Is_Back

+1 y
I have no reason to dwell on the situation; it’s history and he still wants me but that’s his problem.
Again, I used it as an example because I guess a lot of times I misword or am not clear with my questions on here. (English isn’t my first language, so maybe that’s my excuse. Lol) The update is another example.
But thank you for sharing your view

Reply

What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Show Popular Opinions(60)

FourDoorViper Follow
Xper 3 Age: 56

+1 y

I wish i was more picky, but i don't hold someone's past against them.

1

0 Reply
Siavash_1990 Follow
Explorer Age: 33

+1 y

Are you truly an angel?

1

2 Reply
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  LOL sarcasm 🤣 nothing close!
  
- Siavash_1990
  
  +1 y
  😂😊
  
es20490446e Follow
Master Age: 36

+1 y
4.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.

What is their present?

2

0 Reply
MannMitAntworten Follow
Guru Age: 50

+1 y
2.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

I mostly could give a damn about someone’s past.

1

0 Reply
Gedaria Follow
Master Age: 58

+1 y

No. We all have a past...

2

0 Reply
newfreshstart Follow
Xper 7 Age: 29

+1 y

i have never dated before so i'm not sure

1

0 Reply
bluetoblack99 Follow
Xper 5 Age: 42

+1 y

How old is this guy?

1

16 Reply
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  He’s 28 now. Why?
  
- bluetoblack99
  
  +1 y
  You think he’s a man whore just because he’s only had 4 sexual partners in the past?
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  A whore enough that I don’t want him, that’s correct. I want a man with more respect.
  
- bluetoblack99
  
  +1 y
  That’s not that many partners.
  
  But maybe you can find the “40 year old virgin” or something. But I highly doubt you are going to find a guy who fits all “your standards” but you might find a few good liars out there. At least this guy is honest.
  
  Do what you want. But your in for a rough road.
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  I mean, not really, because I have my dream man, whom I’m very lucky and blessed to have. I wouldn’t want a 40-year-old, virgin or not. I’m only 23 lol
  Good men are not actually that hard to find if you respect them, are good to them, show how much you appreciate them, and give them something to respect too.
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  And I don’t think my standards are unreasonable. They’re high, and it takes a really good man to meet them, and I’m proud of that because it keeps me away from the ones who would be bad for me, like the particular guy mentioned in the question, and it gives me the good man I love. Low standards and no goals leads to destruction and waste.
  So my standards are high, but they’re reasonable as long as I’m not a hypocrite about it, and my man meets them and actually exceeds them and everything I’ve ever wanted.
  
- bluetoblack99
  
  +1 y
  If a guy is honest about a gray past thats a sign of some decency. There are lots of very good liars out there.
  
  I’m no saint (my number is much higher than his) . But I have never in my life lied to get laid although I’ve seen tons of other guys do that. I have refused to answer unfair questions but that’s not the same as lying.
  
  I just see you getting suckered for some scumbag in the near future. He will tell you everything you want to hear. But he will be a liar. By the time you find out it will be too late.
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  I disagree. We’ve loved each other for over a year, and he’s never lied to me. Plus that I know his family and his sister has been my best friend for the last five years - all through undergrad.
  I think maybe you just can’t accept that I’ve actually found a man who’s good enough not to have to lie or avoid questions.
  And that’s another thing that helps me determine if the guy meets my standards. If you don’t answer the questions then it’s safest for me to assume the worst, especially if your answer is what I want then you’d just answer. So lying and not answering are really both dishonest.
  But yeah... let’s just say I’m so lucky and blessed to have the perfect man I have.
  
- bluetoblack99
  
  +1 y
  You loved him over a year but you didn’t date him?
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  Yes I did, and we’ve had a crazy year, turned out engaged, and he makes me happy and is actually more than just my definition of perfect. My standards are high, and he is literally beyond perfect. Add to that the fact that we love each other.
  Again, I’m super lucky. I’ve got it made.
  
- bluetoblack99
  
  +1 y
  Then why are putting a post about a past experience? Your weird.
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  My experience is an example; it’s not the point of the actual question.
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  I also added an example in the update. A lot of times on here I post a question and I guess I don’t word it well because people are like whaaaat?
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  I’m proud to be weird lol
  
- bluetoblack99
  
  +1 y
  Yeah but it’s dwelling on past problem that shouldn’t be an issue all considered.
  
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  I have no reason to dwell on the situation; it’s history and he still wants me but that’s his problem.
  Again, I used it as an example because I guess a lot of times I misword or am not clear with my questions on here. (English isn’t my first language, so maybe that’s my excuse. Lol) The update is another example.
  But thank you for sharing your view
  
GreenGold1992 Follow
Master Age: 31

+1 y
3.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Depends on their past

2

0 Reply
bklynbadboy1 Follow
Guru Age: 37

+1 y
1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

I'm picky too there's nothing wrong with that

2

0 Reply
Nayyr Follow
Xper 7 Age: 23

+1 y

Extremely picky

2

1 Reply
- Yads_Is_Back
  
  +1 y
  Yes 😁I like what I like, and actually it saves me a lot of problems. Some things I just straight up do not accept.
  
On_cloud_wine Follow
Guru Age: 108 , mho 44%

+1 y

I feel you 100%

1

0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)

+1 y

I only fuck virgins who have never watched porn.

1

0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)

+1 y

I am very picky about it.

1

0 Reply
bannacookies Follow
Guru Age: 26

+1 y
642 opinions shared on Dating topic.

I couldn't.

1

0 Reply
jahaims Follow
Master Age: 32

+1 y
3.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Very

1

0 Reply

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