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Liking older men is natural mating strategy for females: As humans usually require a lot of time to gain social status and the "provider qualities" of males are a major factor of attraction towards females while males want young, fertile females those relationships make some sense from an evolutionary perspective. The keyword is "hypergamy".
While I understand this question as to be about *big* age differences - like 10 years at the very least - we should keep the following statistics in mind:
Females prefer men 4-5 years their senior on average while males of all ages tend to prefer females in their early twenties as (sex-) partners. (I am unaware of conclusive research on whether and how males tend to vary their age-preference dependent on the kind of relationship they seek and the amount of support they want from their partner. I would expect that a man wanting a partner for more than sex will tend to prefer smaller age-gaps but still higher than the gap females would chose on average.)
In this context even a preference for men 15 years her senior or older might not appear that extreme compared to the average female.
Some attraction factors for her might be:
- Having a high-status partner who guarantees economic security to her and *her* (not necessarily *their* common) offspring.
- A better social "starting rank" to the offspring.
- Social participation for her (up to the role of a "socialite").
- Having a well-mannered, sophisticated partner who has a lot of experience with women (sexual and in courtship / gallantry).
- A partner with more settled / controlled sexuality who does not put too high sexual demands on her. (Debatable, many men have fetishes and will keep them to their deathbed or even acquire new ones as they age (e. g. a 'hospital' thing).)
- A partner who can cope with her starting a successful career and will not suffer ego-issues.
- Potentially a partner who is willing to grant her a lot of freedoms, time for herself and maybe even sexual liberty with other males. (Very debatable, as many older partners are in fear of being left and act extremely jealously.)
The last point about freedoms need to be somewhat qualified: This would probably only be the case with men who do not have a possessive / dominant character (rather rare in top-status individuals) but on the other hand can be certain to attract a new (young) partner in case she decides to leave.
However granting freedom to each other and being *truly* supportive is a major factor in the success of marriages with large age gap. The reason would be that both partners are at very different stations in their lives and need to accept their significant other having very different needs / wishes / goals in many areas.
There is a very strong non-linear correlation between age gap and divorce rates, with a 20 years age gap resulting in at least 1.5 times as many divorces as the 4-5 year age gap preferred by females on average (with the male partner being older).
The "daddy" thing is probably more a male fetish though, the fantasy of being a potent provider for a dependent female, that will not run away due to her economic dependence. I would assume that most females attracted to older men will not get a lot of extra kick out of that role-play apart from the above-listed benefits.
The dichotomy of rebellious but innocent is the classical "whore and angel" thing.
Of course some females specialise in that role, as it is relatively convenient and probably (?) easy to play. One will find excellent escorts who do that in spite of having higher education than many of their clients.
Also that sugar-babe thing obviously goes in that direction while being less demanding than professional escorting and also possibly (in some cultures) more socially acceptable. A had always thought about "sugar-babeing" as an old-fashioned and mostly obsolete model but I recently learned here on GAG that this was still a popular option for young females in non-western countries.
I had to deal with it when I was a young man asking women, where a lot of the women said they're dating somebody older, or there into older men. So I just moved on to the next person and then the next person. It is perfectly fine to be in love with whoever you choose. No one can change the type of person that you are interested in except for yourself. I mean, how many people have been fighting socially because the type of person that they are in love with is not acceptable to others, causing them to say they can't be in love with them and try to change that.
Whether it's somebody older, same sex, a freak, lame, socially unaccepted, or famously loved... You can't change the affection you have towards them, and no one else should be able to either.
I have always preferred older guys. Even if it's OK a few years older. I have a better rapport with them. They seem to be on the same wavelength as me. I find older guys more levelheaded, and much more emotionally and mentally mature than younger guys. ( I don't have "daddy issues"😂)
I go for older than me but my older range is always like 3 years tops. Anyone who goes for like way older yes daddy issues.
Who are you to judge? LOL
Not judging it's a fact. 99% of the time if someone goes outside their normal age range they have some form of mommy or daddy issue.
Where do you get your facts from?
Lol mostly my husband who's getting his phd degree is clinical psychology. And my psychology classes in college as well.
Yeah I took psychology classes as well sweetheart, but that has no credibility and does NOT make you a psychologist.
Lol I didn't say I was one.
So don’t make it sound like you know
You ever heard of reading? Lmao dont need a degree to read dissertations
I’m pretty sure you got no clue about wtf you’re writing LOL
I appreciate that you ladies disagree WITHOUT name calling! Thanks for being professional on my post! I appreciated reading both of your arguments... I am also a psych major in my senior year and you both have VERY valid points 💯 Thanks for your help!
Nobody is name calling?
@Giselleassertive are you confused by that sentence due to a language barrier?
Opinion
61Opinion
Yes, I think so. It's historically very common, so it's hardly unusual. Granted, too big of a gap could lead to struggles, but usually those can be worked through if both people want to keep the relationship.
It's psychology tbh it's not about being old it's about seeming mature, I always wear black I put on stubble and a crew cut the thing is I only care about seeming clean, I am 21 but most women told me you seem to be 25-26. So women literally find your mental age, how mature you are based on your attitude and appearance. and by the way I think it's perfectly normal to feel this way, even for men though it's less accepted, I currently only have one female bestie and it's not just attraction sometimes she treats me like a kind mother when I am scared shitless and I can't explain how powerful the impacts are on my confidence and mental wellbeing don't waste time on Cowards who wanna call you stupid names because deep inside they feel like crap.
definitely it's ok, i mean everyone has a preference and just cos they prefer older doesn't necessarily mean they have "Daddy Issues" but instead it could be just a simple case of past experiences with same age dates or younger dates being incompatible or unsuitable :) :) :P
Be attracted to what you like & enjoy your time with those people.
If people find it weird and look at you funny, enjoy their uncomfortable looks and laugh at them together. The important thing is to be with who makes you happy :-)
Thanks 😊
I'm 34 but because I look a lot younger than my age I tend to get attention from the young ones. I think that I inadvertently add to the statistic 🤣😅
Lol! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic! I appreciate it
I think it’s jus normal for Any female to have her boyfriend act in that loving providing protector sort of way, I think that’s jus normal part of wanting a boyfriend, don’t have to relate that to being a dad or call him daddy,
its jus in your nature to want that, your a girl
And guys nature is to want to Ben the protector provider (or daddy if u wanna call it that)
She shouldn't be attracted to someone who is a lot older than her and if she was, than she have mental issues or lacked the father's figure in her childhood because girls needs theie fathee a lot in their childhood and teenage years...
A girl always searches for someone who is like her dad, because in her eyes, he is her hero and her 1st love "ofc by love i mean the love between a father and his daughter", also the father is the 1st male figure in her life...
I don't think that true maybe she enjoys being with a man that has years of experience with all he has to offer maybe she enjoys his ability to bring her to the most wonderful orgasms she has ever had his ability to see into her eyes and fulfill all those wants needs and desires and she loves it
I'm getting so close I really feel the heat of the flames
I guess it's okay as long as it is just for the attraction and not chasing stability basically taking the easy way out of life looking for a provider before you have even provided for yourself I see that as just being lazy.
This in most cases it is about what they call "preference ". So if a girl is interested In older guys;they are simply her thing n they often do understand her well.
And if she goes for them I see no evil in it, as also some guys prefer older females to young ones.
Simple true n care and love knows no age or boundaries.
Yes and no Most of the time the girls or women are attracted to older guys because they think that they have some type of experience or knowledge. In actuality that’s not always the case.
Sometimes older guys may be ready to settle down though which is a plus
Hmm well depends on hers and his ages but as long as you don't see them and go... uh red flag pedorat alert... Then people have the ddlg thing way wrong, thank you pornhub, so not necessarily bad
Personally I'm only attracted to older men. And I have no daddy issues. I like the maturity & the way they carry themselves. I find most men my age annoying and I dont get attracted to them at all. Unless, on the rare occasion that they are mature.
Yes, it's okay there is a girl age 28 whose in a relationship with a man who just turned age 69, I would be with a younger Woman age 28-38
If your only attracted to older dudes that's just your preference people with day you got daddy issues but who gives a fuck what the say. Some people are just attracted to older guy the like what they like no big deal
Women tend to be attracted to older men. But it is only abnormal if you’re attracted To old men: wrinkles , white hairs , erectile dysfunction , hunch back, limping walk, canes , saggy balls
Some women are attracted to the 'older' guy because they feel more secure, I guess it boils down to life experience
Em has serious trust issues that stem from her childhood.
I'm 13 years older so I think on this basis, it works for us
I honestly hope women are attracted to older men because I am one 😂😂😂
If the human race will disappear in less than twelve years, like AOC says it will.
What difference does it make on the age issue?
Have fun and enjoy what you like!
I don't think that having daddy issues is the only reason why women are attracted to older men. Some find maturity attractive. Some find age gap a turn on.
In the end does the reason matter, if she feels loved and taken care of?
I wouldn't be too concerned.
She MAY Have daddy issues, but as long as I am the father future, no problem.
For some women that is usually the case but there's nothing wrong with it is it okay for a guy to be attracted to older women or women just a little younger than him
Yes mam, it is. According to me. Every woman has her own preference, she can like anyone.
Like who you like. There's many reasons why a female might like an older guy other than "daddy issues".
I don’t see a problem with that it doesn’t necessarily mean daddy issues, it just means they want a more mature man that’s established
its ok for women to attracted to older men its their cup of tea thats fine
Attraction is just attraction. No helping it one way or the other. I think it's okay for anyone to be attracted to anyone for the most part.
It’s quite normal! I get a lot of attention of younger girls. I’m actually 45, just typed the wrong age when I signed up in here.
It is absolutely okay for a girl to be attracted to an older man. The heart wants what the heart wants...
Well given there is maturity and a understanding of each other which leads to mutual love. yes it can work
i have found this happening more and more, especially here in NY. its a generational thing. guys today seem too fay! sometimes a woman wants a real man
Yes! Applications for my affections by younger ladies are open!
It's ok, provided they aren't into guys who are *too* old... like more than 10 years older.
Yeah it's fine you can be attracted to whoever you want
For me though I'd rather date a girl pretty close to my age 🙂
Yes I think so because if that's what u like then that's what u like.
God Bless
I asked a similar question and most of the answers were about something like "he's more likely to have his life together"... fwiw my opinion is more that he knows and has begun to accept who he is after 35 and that's what's attractive...
Oh yes. If only I shared my real age you might feel really good.
That’s just fine. Most people have preferences and there is nothing wrong with that
No
It's like saying a single mother should only date single fathers. That's not cool
As long as she's not attracted to kids, I couldn't care less.
possibly, or it could be inexperience seeking experience, or maturity over immaturity. would be the same as a guy wanting an older woman
no judgement here , for i stated earlier that i'm into older women
It's perfectly fine! People like what they like, now enjoy. ;)
It’s completely ok. She might have daddy issues but who am I to judge?
Why not. I was in a relationship with a 19 year old when I was in my 50's.
Its not about how old you are but about how old you feel and act.
Well she should be allowed to do what the fuck she wants?
Yes. I’ve had it happen to me. Very sexy.
At my age, it absolutely definitely is !!
I'm all for it, daddy issues or not.
Lol! Love your enthusiasm lol
My ex wife is half my age... so yeah... lol
Of course! Nothing wrong with that ❤️
Yes each to there own
I have a salt n pepper wig 😜
does NOT mean daddy issues
I can only say yes to that yes yes yes yes
Oh yes I like the idea of that..
Thats a common occurrence
Yes, of course it is.
It's just as ok as everything else
You can also add your opinion below!
