Is using dating apps desperate?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always wanted to try them, but something about it just doesn’t sit right with me, what are your thoughts on using them? Also if you like using them, what ones do you like using?

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I wouldn't day using them is desperate, as this day in age it's one of the easiest ways to put yourself out there, especially considering fewer people are actually going out and meeting others (even pre-COVID) and people tend to be doing more interacting online (not my cup of tea, but the way today's society seems to be). Lots of people are on dating sites and apps just trying to put themselves out there in order to find a potential partner, and there's definitely nothing wrong with that.

However, there are a lot of people on dating apps not looking for anything serious and just wanting to hook up, and a lot of people on free sites (and probably apps as well) just screwing around and messing with people, so it's wise to use your judgment. The paid subscription sites I've always heard are better since they will mostly weed out the trolls and people who aren't serious, as well as anyone who might have malicious intent since they have their information, but I have zero experience with any of them except for what I've seen and heard from friends and family.

[Mr_Potatoman]

It's not desperate, but what it could be is awkward if you run into someone you know. The main problem is the disbalance between men and women on dating apps. The ratio is about 10 men on 1 woman and that creates the enviroment where it's really hard to grab a woman's attention because you are competing with 10 other guys.
So what happens is basically a woman having a line of 10 men in front of her and she can pick whoever she wants and since she has many other guys in line she probably won't put much effort in building rapport. On the other hand, an average guy maybe has a one or two women that he'd matched with and he'll probably try his best with them because, let's face it, he doesn't know when will he get another match.

In conclusion, this disbalance makes dating apps very shallow. All a woman has to do is show up on a dating site and that's not the case for men.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should never try them, they can indeed work, but it's a good idea to lower your expectations from dating apps and not let it crush your self asteem when you don't get a like in weeks.

I used a few of them, I fairly quickly moved away from Tinder because I find it to be the most shallow of all and I personally think Tinder is more for finding someone to fuck. The app I had most success (and the one where I met my current girlfriend) is OkCupid. I liked that app more then Tinder because I felt that the majority of people there are actually looking for a relationship. The only downside is that there weren't many people using the app in my area.

[bradc00]

Maybe 10 men to 1 women but 9 out of those 10 men are ugly/weird looking af. Like I made a fake profile to see what the guys where like and I swiped through about 300 and only found 10 that were at least somewhat attractive.

[TruthBringer]

Dating apps are something of our time. So using it doesn't make you desperate, especially during lockdown.

The poblem with dating apps is that it's mostly filled with shallow and untrustworthy people. Girls who mostly want nothing to do with you other than get free attention/validation. They want someone over the app to boost their egos without planning to see you. Another danger is you can encounter those who only want to use you for free dinners (that's why you should never go on a dinner date).

Guys on them usually want to hook up. Nothing else. They want to get sexual with minimum amount of effort.
The people I just described are desperate, yes
There are people who are worth it. I speak from experience. You just have to dig through all the stones until you find that person who is worth it. SO using the apps in hopes of finding someone you can be with isn't being desperate when the best way to find people of our age is by using these apps. It's how you use it that determines if you're desperate or not.

[vintagegirl90]

I see nothing desperate about dating apps.
I have used them because I don’t have time to meet men in real life because I’m busy working full time Monday to Friday. The app makes it bit more easier for me to organise that by swiping left or right when I’m low on time. Everyone has different experiences on these apps, good or bad, but neither of them was desperate, they are looking for something that they want but don’t time to get. That’s the good part about dating apps, they give you that convenience if work or have responsibilities. I’ve tried the whole in person dating experience and unfortunately, I would say 90 percent of the men, wanted to sleep with me than get to know me, which isn’t what I was after. Anyway I had success with Bumble and much prefer the idea of getting to know someone first online first and building that trust to meet them. Bumble helped me get into in a relationship, so I wasn’t really desperate, I just went for what I wanted through an app because it works best for me. You do what’s best for you, if you don’t want to use a dating app, that’s fine but everyone’s reason to use it is not desperation.

[ManOnFire]

It isn't desperate per se, but can become that way if you start using them to find a hookup or sex partner, trying to get same-day sex.

I have used these sites in the past, and 98% of the time they were a waste of time. I've had better luck just chatting with somebody on apps like Whisper and Google+ (now defunct). The hard truth that I constantly remind men of is that dating sites are largely meant to work for women and not men. Yes, there are guys who've had success with it and try to argue with me that these sites do work for guys based on their own personal experience, but in general dating sites do more to help women and works to game guys at the same time.

[coachTanthony]

-----------------Most men who don't like dating apps don't know how to properly use them and send interesting messages. So instead of just getting better they give up and say it sucks and it's for losers.

If you have any people skills... online dating can be a god send. Especially now with all this corona crap.

Try it out...

[Heiniken]

Most men who don't like dating apps get 0 matches in 4 weeks so they dont even get to the point where they can send messages.

[VanillaSalt]

@Heiniken this guy understands

[Be4rdy]

And women get 40 matches within 0.2 seconds of their profile going up

[Xoxocutekitty]

I used them to meet my current long term beau. It's a blind date where you probably don't know the person or where they come from. Doesn't make them better or worse or change their value as a human being higher or lower.

Just try to find someone that looks like someone you'd be friends with in real life instead of chasing after "the hottest person you can match with." Do they have similar hobbies? Do they want similar things in life? Do they party as much or as little as you want to? That's a common problem many dating app users have. Remember your date isn't an extension of your self esteem. Your date is a person who may be your partner, who may hold you when you are sick, who may celebrate with you by smooshing cake in your face, and who may one day meet your parents. Be realistic about your expectations but also make sure to have some and not waste your time if someone is not meeting them on the first 3 dates.

Also, if you are genuinely looking for a relationship, don't use the "sex by a certain number of dates metric." It's very dehumanizing to be dumped right after sex if thats the "final deciding factor" between pursuing a relationship or not. I've had guys tell me post sex, whether it was on the third or 8th date, that I waited too long or didn't wait long enough to be "taken seriously for a relationship material."

[nikooo0ooo]

They're pretty useless unless you use like tinder or something. They're biased as fuck too a lot of them only make men pay. Really popular ones like POF and meet me are 90% ewhores plugging their cash app and only fans and the other 10% are morbidly obese woman. Oh I forgot the unreal amount of sex bots set there to fool you into thinking extremely hot woman are interested in you. The real woman on there tend to have too high of expectations for themself, because the thousands of messages from horny virgins they receive a day inflates their ego big time, most of the time you won't even be responded to because their inboxes are flodded to the absolute max with "hey beautiful" "omg you're so stunning" tinder and bumble however are different, I've had a lot of success with them sexually, but most of the girls I meet on there are super immature and just wanna party and fuck, which is cool I guess. But gets old. You could try the paid dating websites like eharmony and shit but I'd say you're setting yourself up for failure there too, there's nothing quite like physically meeting a girl you truly like, I remember the other day I walked into a pizza place to eat and the girl that took my order literally took my breath away, like I didn't even know that was a legitimate thing, literally winded me, I started blushing and my heart got to pounding, I'm usually not shy around girls, or anyone, but I couldn't even put the words of my order together cause looking in her eyes just really hit me hard and I was truly like in love with her at first sight. But I didn't say anything cuz Im a pussy, but maybe you're not and that days coming for you, be patient

[bobalife]

nope, we all have our own take and experiences from it. Try it out! :) It helps when people are busy with work and unable to have time to socialize, or it's hard to meet potentials. Of course it is always nicer to meet someone naturally in-person and you shouldn't limit those options either. I think one of the downside about online dating is that I think people forget to be authentic, we can get caught up on profiles instead of getting to know someone for who they are, and people can get used to looking for the next best thing. Goodluck on what you're looking for!

[Petra150]

Nice to read all Answers in here, especially the guys seems to se how pathetic Tinder us , and how it's changed date g, and once again us women got it all wrong. We obviously think dating is like going out shopping, to mention using tinder is like saving time is horrible. Using tinder is so unreal and pathetic, you need to stand face to face with a guy to lern him, you don't need to know the weight and height of a guy to love him, Tinder just made dating even more shallow and we women just blow it if we still use Tinder

[90sVibe]

So I've never had one until about 2 weeks ago when I was like, "ehh why not?" And honestly I've barely been on it because I have a busy schedule and its not for me. I'm much more of an in person kinda person and find it strange to interact for the first time over messages. It doesn't feel natural and thats why I'm not a big fan. I met this one guy who seems reslly nice and sweet who totally stood me up after driving for 2 hours to meet him. So it definitely isn't something for me, but I've heard and know a lot of people who it's worked out for. I think it has more to do with your performance of online activity and interaction.

[ObscuredBeyond]

There's worse. I just had to block a woman who found me on Skype, then convinced me to get WattsApp. She's a French woman living in the Ivory Coast. But... she moves insanely fast.

I took 4 months to fall in love with my ex from China. This French woman was obsessed with me in under a day. But I was getting some vibes from her... like, Mal from Inception vibes.

I felt sorry for her; but had to block her. I'm lonely at times, bordering on desperate. But that woman is WAY too crazy, even for me! Seems I only attract the asylum escapees. Just my luck.

[Citizenkirk]

The Fonze wouldn't use them, but then again, he was a weird egg who only had too tap the jukebox with his elbow for free tunes and dip his head too the side and say "Heeyyyy" for one bimbo per arm too appear. Unfortunately, it takes more than just a quart of 30 weights oil in the hair and a leather jacket too attract babes nowadays. There is nothing wrong with desperate measures when your desperate, was my motto on deployments, and probably applies too dating websites as well. Those computer algorithms they match people with may work if you fit the profile, but not everyone does. It's a crap shoot, as far as I can tell.

[Reaperbot666]

• roughly 80% of people regardless of if their male, female or other. are typically looking for hookups and/or short term dating. much more often then long term relationships or marriage.
• the modern internet, social media, dating sites/apps and hookup culture. all played a role in opening a door for many people. to have a large amount of fuckable people to pick from.
• but the amount of people viewed as relationship material has gone down. since majority of people won't long term date someone with past hookup drama.

[hellacray]

Well some may use it because they're desperate. But not everyone uses it because they're desperate. It never hurts to give it a try to see what happens.

I know two people that met their current girlfriend through dating apps. Which actually did take me by surprise. So anything is possible.

My experience with dating apps tho have been pretty negative. I'm sure a lot of fellas feel the same way. For the most part it's a big waste of time. You're swiping everyday and it may take you a week or longer to get a single match.

And then that person either isn't right, doesn't respond, or unmatches right away. And depending on the app you're using it could be filled with tons of fake profiles.

If you want to give it a try I say go ahead. But for me it was definitely a huge waste of time. I think I had more interactions with women in GAG than on a dating app. Just let that sink in...

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I've met great guys on Tinder. Found my first serious relationship on there too. You just have to be straight up about what you want.
Dating apps work not necessarily because they actually match you with someone you're compatible with, but because they introduce you to a bunch of people in your potential dating pool. It's a numbers game. If you talk to enough people, eventually you're going to find one you like. Dating apps are just much faster than trying to meet the same amount of people in person

[cth96190]

My experience was that most of the female profiles were fake.
They were created by either the site owners to entice men to part with money, or Nigerian and Ghanian scammers who pretended (very badly) to be white women in various parts who needed a Sir Saveaho to rescue them.
Of the genuine profiles, all the women whom I contacted were insane. Seriously clinically insane.
At one point, I was receiving 200 messages per week from the Aftican scammers.
Would I try a dating app again?
Hell no.

[Dali-chan]

I think it was considered to be desperate a decade ago, and it was usually a thing for loosers cause it meant a that you were unable to get a partner in real life, but now I see many decent looking high quality people subscribing to these websites, especially with the quarantine.

[screaming_doorknob]

Wow ", losers" and ", high quality people"that's so rude

[peppermintgirl]

ong im only on there because i think a dude who asked me outt cute until the mask come off once covid over back to the dudes who ask me out face to face lol

[Lonerontheplanet]

When you have GAG to get some instant fun, why use dating apps? I’ve never used them, but I’ve seen this pattern of the same crowd swiping right on people. And then they end up following each other on social media accounts and blah, nothing after that. (I’ve seen this happen to my friend).


I don’t find dating apps safe. Imagine people investing time to make bio interesting just to get laid.

[Darcia]

Using dating apps is not desperate. There’s nothing desperate about it. It’s a way to find someone you want to be with long term or short term. However else will you find someone without putting yourself out there? Some dating apps work where you’ll be able to find someone who has the chemistry as you. Others are trash just for hookup. It’s up to you if you want to use them to find someone or just wait for someone to come by. Which is not very lucky.

[laPrincesitaRoxi]

No they’re not desperate, a lot of people especially nowadays use them.
It’s a normal way to date now tbh and it’s just less of a hassle and it gives you more options you otherwise wouldn’t have ya know?
Yes dating could be nice when you
Just meet randomly but it’s not necessary I would say to have to do that unless you really want to and feel like it’s personality the best thing for you

[sd1223]

After I was skeptical of them because of the fear of being catfished but you have to use common sense with using them. I’ve grown to like them because it gives you access to so many more people that you may have never been able to meet before. Then you have plenty of options as well. If one person is a dud or a horrible match you can move on to someone else. I met my boyfriend on an app and we’ve been together almost 2 months. I’d say give it a shot, the same could happen for you as well 😊.

[420Rachel]

I started talking to my current boyfriend on Tinder. 🤷 You can definitely find some gems on there it just takes some trial and error lmao. I don't think it's desperate. I've used dating apps quite a bit and I probably would use them again if, god forbid, my current relationship doesn't work out.

[yucychan]

Actually, there are apps for practically everything so I don't necessarily feel using them equates to being desperate. It's another way of widening your network of contacts and finding someone with the same interests.
However, the effectiveness of dating apps are another thing though and some does leave much to be desired.