
To give a bit more context... here is Mathew Hussey explaining a bit more about the subject.
You know there is still a difference between a woman who is the breadwinner or just a submissive one and a gold digger. It's just like women like dominant men but they don't like players. That is a strawman argument and a hasty generalization.
@Aiko_E_Lara it's not tho, don't men who are dominant want to be in control, so a woman has to submit to what a man wants or she's not a woman? Why make a relationship about power and control instead of love, respect, understanding and caring for one another? 🤷🏼♀️
Dominant men doesn't mean controlling a woman in let her bow down to me. Also it is hard for families to work well if there is no leverage applied. And i'm pretty sure that women still want men to be the breadwinners because that is how our brain is hardwired. If we chose the same path like both of us wanted to be the dominant or the submissive one, then we're just going to do everything by our selves without interacting or caring with each other. Its the power of leverage that actually connect. I mean sure she can work, can have tons of businesses like mine, can even make more income than me but there should be leverage.
I can even tell you that my mom makes more income than my dad but my dad is still the dominant one and they are leveraged evenly and my mom is an anti feminist too. That's because my dad gave her freedom yet she loves him for being dominant.
Also i can tell you it's not even easy to be incharged because it requires a lot of responsibilities and you are to be blamed if anything happens. That's what being dominant means.
@Aiko_E_Lara freedom is not something for a man to give a woman... We all have a right to freedom... You could say your father respected your mom's right to freedom... And whatever works for people individually in their relationship... The issue comes in when people try to tell other people should be in THEIR relationships... Me and my husband made household and family decisions together... And it worked for us for 20 years 🤷🏼♀️ and why want leverage over a partner 🤷🏼♀️ Would you like someone having power, control, or leverage over you? Is your freedom something a woman should decide you're allowed or not allowed?
Neither is freedom something for a woman to give a man. The main point still is we're giving each other freedom. If you want to talk about issues that has nothing to do with being dominant and submissive. It has something to do with toxicity which both submissive and dominant couples can have. Do you think the only dominant men are only the issue? That's a one sided thing. If you want to talk about your husband then i never said it will never work if there is no submissive and dominance in a family. Yes there are exceptions. I do prefer to be the dominant one just like there are girls who prefer to be the submissive one. So it is simple everybody has preferences. It only people like you looking making it a big issue who likes to make a straw man argument with it.
Or in conclusion, toxicity exist anywhere. Again it's not a one sided thing. If you want to actually that all dominant and submissive couples are toxic then i am giving you something that happens like of couples who don't interact with each other because there is no leverage leaving the kids or fighting over the kids. But really toxicity exist anywhere. It doesn't matter what kind of family you have. So think again before accusing anyone of anything just because of their preference because anyone can accuse my example to you.
@Aiko_E_Lara I'm not making an issue if anything... I gave an answer you don't like it, fine 🤷🏼♀️ but that's your issue not mine I'm entitled to give my opinion just like anyone else, and your entitled to not see with it... But my opinion is backed up with personal experience, is yours 🤔 When you've had that successful marriage, well, we'll see 🤷🏼♀️
Also calling men insecure just because they want to be dominant, isn't that the case for you because of the fact that women in average just naturally or subconsciously likes to be submissive which makes you insecure about it? It's a biological fact but that doesn't mean you should follow. You do you and we do we.
Mine is actually backed up with biological facts and how our brain is hardwired. Who said you're not allowed to give any opinions? All i'm also doing is giving mine and i would like to point out that your experiences is an anecdote. Also pointing out that you're making strawman arguments with anecdotes. "because you are dominant it means you don't respect your wife" straw man fallacy. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_to_tradition it's more like you don't like what i'm saying to you.
@Aiko_E_Lara don't you hate tho when people put words in your mouth you didn't say, I didn't at any time say insecurity did I🤔 think you're confusing my answer with someone else's...
Actually i did saw another comment here talking about insecure men however you agreed with it so i don't really have to put words in your mouth. There's no difference with agreeing with someone saying it and just saying it yourself.
@Aiko_E_Lara if a woman making her own way her own money makes you feel less a man what's that if not being insecure? But her answer was in response to original question, yet you used my agreeing on an argument that didn't apply... But isn't that what people do, twist your meaning to suit their purpose 🤔🤷🏼♀️
Why does it always mean it doesn't make us less of a man? It's still called preference you know and it has nothing to do with insecurities. There are girls who don't like to date short Asian guys but does that make them insecure? I don't care that's just their preference. Sure her answer was in response to the original question also generalizing that they are just insecure if they don't like breadwinner women. Also don't you know about the echoing effect where anyone agrees they can still repeat what they said and that will basically mean you're saying it too? Yes that is the echo effect. You don't have to say it when action speaks louder than words. If someone calls you ugly and i agreed with her/him does that really make it different?
Of course you wouldn't care it doesn't matter either way. That was just an example but that still proves that i'm not putting words in your mouth.
"They say they don't want a gold digger, someone using them for their wallet, yet have an issue with an independent woman who works and supports herself"
Tell me all about it Ms. Triple B. This is how sometimes nobody can win. No wonder some women turn crazy. These little boys made them that way 🤦
@Unit1 right!!! The thing is done men say women don't know what they want but if they SAY what they want, they're being picky or stuck up... But it's not just men, women do it too the hypocrisy is hip deep these days, need to busy my hip boots out 😂😂
When i see that happening to me or someone else, i just boot it. 😀
Why people complicate things beyond the necessary amount is beyond me.
That is because you are talking about two different men. Because if i have talk about two different women, there are women who wants dominant men and complains because "he treats her like a child."
@Aiko_E_Lara then don't treat women like a child... Treat em like an equal adult, problem solved
@Unit1 right! That's what I'm saying... Life and relationships can be complicated enough without making issues or of things that shouldn't be an issue
I mean there are women who likes to be treated like a child but complains that she's the submissive one. Just like that two many are talking about. But really it's still in your world you want to make straw man argument about being dominant one treating women like children. That just simply means treating women like women. I'm going with biological fact. But again did i even said you really have to be that way?
Right on target, Ms. Triple B! That's what I like to hear :)
That's why I boot it when I see mind games, cryptic languages and meanings etc...
It's your choice your and your husband went for you then good for you. There many girls like you and there are many guys like your husband however i'm different and there are also girls not like you. Just meeting poor judgment by strawmanning doesn't really make you truthful but if not just your opinion, at least i'm giving facts.
We really mean it when we say we are not intimidated. My wife makes more than me. My wife is more intelligent than me. I have zero problems with that.
But I wouldn't like to date a girl who makes more than me and is more intelligent than me and keeps rubbing it in my face. In resume we really just don't want a bitch.
@ThisIsMyOpinion
I didn't say you didn't mean it, I said it's not true. I can say I'm the best woman on earth and truly believe it, doesn't make it objectively true in reality outside of what I think is real.
Men often take any display of intelligence as "rubbing it in their face" though lol It's almost like the only intelligence they like is when it's very quietly displayed, i. e. not intimidating, challenging, confident, or threatening to the ego. A lot of people are like that.
But I'm happy you and your wife are happy, go you!
While I know men who indeed feel their egos bruised by a capable woman, specially older men, most guys I know is not. And I honestly want to believe most men are like that, not scared by a women who displays high skill level in whatever it is.
Thank you.
It gets to SOME men when a woman is more successful than they are because of their fragile egos, but the majority of guys are just not attracted to girls like that. We are attracted to cooperative and agreeable women, kind-hearted acts ( Feminine). If you are a woman that is constantly challenging a guy ( Testing his masculinity) and you are as you say " Intimidating " then you don't have a lot of feminine energy that attracts men. Girls who give off masculine energy are unattractive to us the same way guys who give of feminine energy are unattractive to women. You may be a successful woman ( Financially stable, good career, etc) and that's great if you are, good for you, but that's not something men are attracted to in a woman.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Not all men want the same kind of women. Some men are pussies and like a woman to be dominant (seems to be a lot more of them today than when I grew up). Others aren't attracted to women like that (put me down in that category). I'm fine if a woman is all about being "independent." I'm just not interested in a relationship with her.
@WhiteGlaze Oh I'll say as soon as more guys comment.
I will say this much, I'm having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I'm -this- close to lecturing some of these little boys.
@Brainsbeforebeauty You see some of these comments? I'm shaking my head over here.
@coachTanthony I'm trying to be on my best behavior but yeah, I feel a rant coming; I really do
Which would that be, the pump and dump, or the only good for p*say comment... To which I could've been sexist and said men ain't even good for the p"now😂 but two wrongs don't make a right...
@Brainsbeforebeauty The "pump and dump" one set me off for sure, but the majority of them are just... something.
Brb, I need some popcorn for this show. If anyone else needs a bowl, let me know; I got plenty 🤣
Yes please 😂😂😂 although between the pancakes and popcorn you bad for my figure 🤪😂😂😂
Hey, I thought you were exercising: you can work it off! Lol
I'm actually losing weight at the moment! 😮
I got a new scale last week that measures BMI, muscle, water weight, body fat, etc. Surprisingly it says my weight is... good!
... I don't trust it. The scale has never hit the weight I wanted, lol
Aww that's great! Maybe I need a new scale... Yeah that's it it's not me, my scale is defective 😂😂😂
🤣 that's what I said too! Maybe you just need a new scale that tells you what you want to weigh
@Brainsbeforebeauty Well...
😂
Maybe if you exercise a wee bit more? If coach would stop asking these kinds of questions, I'll stop serving popcorn and pancakes
I would like a man in my life but I want people to know I am independent bc it makes me strong and I think it’s a good personality traits especially since I see a lot of weak people. I don’t however like to hold my own door open, type of girl. Plus I want people to know I’m financially independent bc a lot of men worry that your are after money or that you are only interested in men who have a big career.
@likelyOK "Plus I want people to know I’m financially independent bc a lot of men worry that your are after money or that you are only interested in men who have a big career."
- And that's a great point and I can't stand women who are users and golddiggers, but at the same time I'm not interested in a woman with money and status who just sees me as a fine accessory that can be swapped out at any time.
If they are good people with good values I never see them as that way, a good man is irreplaceable but a bad man can be swapped out, there is usually another pretty face.
@ManOnFire Hey don't take all the credit, I enjoy seeing downvotes. They often prove my points and my belief system.
Exactly. Many women on here are saying the opposite or don't understand the balance of masculine and feminine energy.
@saturnxox You should teach the other pink snowflakes about this. This is what we want!
What the hell. So she submits you but you even can't provide her and do your part as a leader aka "traditional" man? Are you real? You are not a leader when you expect from her to financially support herself but also expect her to be submissive and traditional? You can't eat your cake and have it too. She can do better than you and can get a traditional man who would provide her. No offence but that is like when a girl expect from a guy to provide her, pay the dates and to be traditional but herself is not traditional and dont do her part and so also expect from the guy to do the household chores and cooking. Sorry if i sound rude but i am literally shocked.
I know enough people who are in leader/submissive relationships (marriage) and you are not one of it. As a leader you should at least own the the responsibilities when it comes to financial aspects. I am from a very traditional culture and men who let/ make their women work are not seen as men. So i guess you want to be a leader/traditional man but dont want to own financial responsibilities which is oxymoron.
I am sorry again for being rude. Maybe your culture have a complete different meaning of leadership.
@hi_it_is_me123 I agree I don’t want a man to be a leader we should be equal and make compromises
@hi_it_is_me123 Being a leader doesn’t equal being a traditional man. Leadership comes in many forms. Also, nice of you to mention it, I do provide for her in many things which includes paying for us both. I pay for entrance tickets, fuel or food whenever we are out or on a vacation. Not because she is dependent of me, but because I do hold some traditional values. And she spoils me with things by like giving me love and by cooking (these were mere examples).
So YES a woman CAN be submissive and traditional while still provide for herself. She isn't just isn't THAT traditional. Being traditional or not is not like black and white. It has shades to it. Meaning there are levels to how ‘traditional’ you are. Also, I’m Dutch. So yeah, our views may differ.
And for those who don’t understand— if he says he doesn’t like independent intelligent women, I WILL be running for my life.
Intelligence and independent are signs of confidence. Which is great, don't get me wrong, spending a lot of time with each other is nice but not 24/7. Myself and her are more than a couple, we have friends, interest, likes and dislikes that makes us who we are and why were attracted to each other besides sex. Any male/female can have sex without a relationship and is shallow because each other are looking for the bare minimum if you use standars: opposite sex, breathing, of legal age an thats it.
So having traits and a personality is great.
@navyrobin, this was in no way directed at you. You OP was same as mine I just added to that idea.
I don't know about that... that is why I updated the question with a video that goes deeper into it.
They don't exist. But what DOES exist is the attitude created by the media, which leads to some younger women thinking that it's what they have to be like. If they EVER find themselves NEEDING help from someone else, especially a man, then they have failed in the eyes of society.
@AD240pCharlie I can't speak for every woman, but I can say I felt that pressure and know what you say.
Still, it never bothered me much because it's quite easy to see how nonsensical that concept is. And I like to think any woman, or man for that matter, who has actually had a job, got paid, and paid taxes, is able to identify that concept or similar ones as pure nonsense. It simply isn't how society, life, and especially achieving success work in general.
The "I can do everything" people are usually dumb, arrogant, self-serving, and generally impossible to work with. I can't see how they'd be fit for a teamwork like married life or relationships.
Yeah, that's the thing. Most people who express that attitude tend to actually be the LEAST successful people.
Someone who's ACTUALLY a "strong woman" understands the need for cooperation, compassion and sensitivity. The best leaders are the ones who are understanding, empathetic and respectful, regardless of their gender.
Therefore, someone who actually IS successful will, because of experience, know that no one can do anything by themselves. No one gets to where they are on their own.
We're herd animals, and our natural instinct is to help others and allow others to help us. That doesn't make you weak or dependent, it makes you human. And if someone is successful in their field, they will understand that since they have the experience.
I am not. I dont understand why i am seen as a feminazi just because i want a man who is equal to me. Is it too much to expect from normal things such as cooking, cleaning etc shit
Did you seriously dislike my comment? If you can't stand negative comments, then dont ask any question on gag
I have seen you calling another opinion giver names for not having the same opinion as youm
The men wanting you to be slaves is a bit extreme. I don't know any men like this so if they are out there I would stay away lol.
The guys who are against such "independet" women are the one who prefere very submissive traditional women in my experience. I personally prefere a man who pay half of the bills and do half of the household chores like me or i even can financially provide my potential man but some people think i am crazy or even feminazi for not being traditional... i am surrounded by traditional/religious people. Maybe i misunderstand your question
A lot of guys do describe a lot of traits that maids and slaves have when they describe their ideal woman. It’s kind of disturbing.
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