Yeah for sure all that happens. Guys are not all "dogs." But they're more apt to try and get their sexual needs satisfied while they look for the "great" unicorn type, which they know is not easy to find.Do you think they send mixed signals to the "unicorn type?"
No, generally not. (Although they might tread that cautiously, so as not to spook her, or appear over-eager.)But my point is that it's like anything in life... when you happen across something you really, really like/love (could be any object, or song, not just a person) and you have a very powerful first reaction, it's an easy decision, right? You buy it, you take it home, you learn about it, you absorb yourself in it.I don't think that men play games, typically, on purpose, or in order to manipulate (unless it's avoidance - they're quite adept at that one, so as to not be caught/ensnared.) (I do think girls play games more, such as playing 'hard to get' a bit, but there are some semi-valid reasons to that, as they worry about their reputation sexually more and if he will still find her desirable once he's got her, etc etc.) But unicorns are by their very nature rare (that's why I used that term) and other decisions are more unclear. And most things in life fall into this latter category.
I think men know the full weight of commitments. They're often wary of them, because of this. It's an emotional, time, and financial investment (not necessarily in that order, it depends on circumstances.) They're taking on responsibility and the emotional happiness of a partner, while they feel also giving up on freedom and future sexual partners. So their initial interest might be more straightforward, but in general, they are often indecisive, or conflicted, about the longer term of things. (This is why I think men need to continue being the ones who propose marriage. They should never be coerced into it.) I don't want anything from a man unless he wants to give it. I am very, very careful with that. Whatever he gives will mean very little if it didn't come from his own volition, from his own mind, and heart. by the way, Coach, you somehow manage to ask very, very good qs. I am always surprised at the consistency of them going deep, in the end. Plus, you're a good moderator.
Yeah I hear ya on the marriage part. So important. And Hey thanks I do my best! :+)-
Unless he’s mature and established in his life and WANTS a commitment. So, what you wrote applies to the “younger” ones, which is precisely why women should not date “boys” who still think they have “time” to settle down etc.
And when he is crazy about me it'll be a big fuck yes and very obvious.
But I got to admit that it's hard when someone that we feel a strong chemistry with (usually a hot guy) puts us into that grey zone. It's hard to say no when he starts flirting! Women are not much different when it comes arousal, but we are at higher risk of getting hurt because of our hormones and feelings connected to sex. I wasn't strong enough couple of times on that note; I was in a heat and he was hot and fuck it I surrendered, knowing that it's gonna suck the next day.
It seems as if women get turned off by men who express an interest in a woman... it's almost like it's not a challenge or something... so when the mixed message guy comes along the ego can't handle him not wanting her like the other men do.
I've had women confuse "the grey zone" with "crazy about me"
@coachtanthony Exactly and when they decide that the man is done even if he never wanted her that much in the first place.
@Silver158 Yes it Cat String Theory. What happens when the cat catches the string? The cat is no longer interested.
@coachtanthony ahhh didn't know it had a name. The thing is when you "move on" (using that loosely because wasn't that interested in the first place) they then want you again. I feel that blanket terms such as narcissists and egomaniacs or even the dreaded "psycho" are more fitting than anything else tbh.
@Silver158 Well it's GAG... it's loosey Goosey here! LOL
Ha ha Ha love it.
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There ya go!
I think if a guy said that he would be lying. How many times has a guy said he really liked someone but had other things going on to then pour all his time and effort into someone else a month later. Too many times.
Well I've certainly not been pouring myself into anyone other than myself. Guys really never feel like they're at a point in life where they can't commit to someone because of other unpredictable life circumstances?
I'm sure some men have genuinely wanted to get careers etc sorted first before fully committing to someone.
If the guy is into them they don't care about life circumstances unless it's a medical issue or something really crazy. Guys will always use that as an excuse because they just aren't into the woman.
Because nobody meets their sweet heart in college as they are both figuring out their lives. Guys may wait to get married or something but they are not passing you up until they get that manager spot at mickey D's.
That doesn't even make sense. PHDs are extremely demanding, relationships take effort (well, successful ones anyway). We're not talking about teens working pointless jobs, well at least I'm not anyway.
So if you really liked a guy and he said I really really like you but... I am working on the Ph'd so... sorry can you wait for me? Or maybe we could just hook up for a couple of years until I am finished then I will treat you like someone I really like? It's all smoke and mirrors.
No guy would expect me to wait (as I wouldn't expect them to either, I'd want them to be genuinely happy, whatever that meant, even if it were my loss). Sometimes life happens. And if it's meant to be it will, those kinds of feelings don't just fade away completely, despite life's hurdles. I work in a profession where its highly stressful and estremely demanding. Why do you think so many doctors only date doctors or are single? Life isn't always easy for everyone.
I obviously don't see it that way because I don't go around using people.
Doctors date doctors out of convenience. This is why so many cops date cops and why pilots date flight attendants. Proximity.
Definitely not true. We come into contact with all sorts of people. We need people who understand the demands of the job enough to be supportive an dunderstanding for the most part. You're trying to preach on something you obviously know little about now.
Thanks for the comments.
But they still get their hearts broken even if they don’t intend on “committing”.
how did you copy paste the link questions in the comment lol
Furthermore each women will read it differently and won't agree on what any of it means. Probably the only consistent point is that they agree it means *something*. But really even that is nonsense, and whatever they think is happening is likely just meaningless noise being misinterpreted.
Maybe they enjoy the drama. Maybe women get turned off by guys actually showing a genuine interest in them?
Nah, I don't think they enjoy it. I think they're just mired in it. Much like how people can't help but notice faces in objects, it seems like women can't help but feel they *need* to pull a signal, any signal, even from noise. Not all women of course, and men can do it too, the trends are just weighted toward women.Saying they get turned off by genuine interest in them is perhaps a little too toxic an interpretation. I think the issue is their conception of what genuine interest is differs from what it really is in a guy's experience. That is to say, they expect to be appreciated in a particular way -- naturally, this is coloured by their own psyche -- but the reality of men's attraction is different from how they would prefer it to be. That's the real discrepancy. What is a genuine interest from men will often be seen as a flawed interest that women can find distasteful.
Yes it's definitely different in their heads. It's a fine line like Soup and Stew. We all see things differently.
Well done on the subsequent analysis.
Okay but isn't that just them saying hey... here is a mixed signal... I am just not that into you?
And it's a power play for the opposing team in the third period! Fifteen seconds to go and the score is tied! But what's this? What's this? KingdomForAKiss steals the puck! Oh! She makes a break!!! She drives hard and fast down center ice! Dodges that check. Look at her go! OH! TUSSLE AT THE NET!!! 3 SECONDS!!! AND... GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL!!! This is spot on. Most people, quite understandably, don't want to read the signs.
or they're playing games because they like it and still aren't into you.
Haha Bluemax! You know I like the hockey analogy! @Silver158 They're into you enough to want to get physical but not enough to want a relationship/to date.
@kingdomforakiss or just want attention/to feel good about themselves.