They both say they understand me finding masculine traits in women attractive--something I've pointed out multiple times here--but that I should also open my mind to feminine women instead of just liking tomboys and action girls. I am taking that advice into consideration, but I don't really see the appeal of feminine traits in women, or "girly girls" for lack of a better term.
I understand why a lot of men like women who are short, delicate, or afraid of things like horror movies or pests (insects, spiders, mice, etc). When a woman has these traits, it makes men feel strong and manly, and gives them an urge to protect her. This would be a good reason to like feminine women... if I actually enjoyed feeling like a woman's protector.
So I want to know from other men here: What are the pros to feminine women, or feminine traits that women have? These traits can either be stereotypical or traditional. While all kinds of men are allowed to answer this question, I would prefer to hear from Conservative and even Red Pill men, since they are more likely to place importance on femininity in women. I wanna know from the other guys, what is it about feminine women that makes them attractive?
And again, I'm asking this because I am taking my friends' advice to heart, and due to my ex being kind of a tomboy, it's harder for me to see feminine traits as attractive. Again, any men can answer, but I'd prefer to hear from conservatives and Red Pill men. I'm not either, by the way.
And some other examples of feminine traits are:
But my problem is I don't understand what makes girly traits in women attractive. So I want men to tell me what makes these traits appealing.
I don't know. Well, I like both and I married a sort of "true" tomboy. I mean one who can do muscle work on a farm but can also look super pretty in a dress. She's not trying to be like a guy. She can just do the grunt work. It's not a fashion thing for her, and she never gets offended by off-the-kilter jokes, even those poorly-timed. You offer her a chicken and she can cut its head off and skin it herself and cook it for dinner. Maybe that's not even tomboy. It's just old-fashioned, but definitely not girly-girl even if she can doll up like the best.
Personally, I do like the feeling of being able to protect a girl, and that's one of the tough things I had with my wife. It's like she's so good at protecting herself that what am I supposed to do? But I soon found her retarded with technical things, for example, and that made me feel all manly showing her that you shouldn't put metal things into microwaves and she still doesn't have the grip strength for pickle jars. She can climb trees easily but somehow struggles with pickle jars.
I still struggle with that sometimes. But definitely, with her, you get a whole lot of independence cause she's fine on her own. Don't respond to her for an entire week while you're on a trip overseas and she's just fine. She misses you but she doesn't expect you to be there all the time. I think she's near-perfect. But with her, the struggle is feeling valuable as a man. She really doesn't need one. And with girly-girls, at least when they call you all the time, and cling onto your arm in public, they make you feel important. I've had to find my own ingenious ways to continue feeling important in my marriage.
Well, you say you don't know, but the second and third paragraphs gave good explanations as to why men like women who are dependent on them. I don't believe an average man--even a Red Piller--would want a woman who's completely incompetent by herself.
But I see now that it's not just matters of physical strength. If a woman shows that she can depend on a man on SOME level, whether for physical or mental things (like the advice you gave your wife on microwaves), he feels manly and important. He feels like he can protect her (physically) or provide her with knowledge.
Am I correct on this?
In the case of my wife, I think she looks up to me intellectually somehow. She depends on me to solve technical things, explain how things work. That sort of hits the spot for me. But there is a sort of thing I miss in that she isn't the slightest bit impressed by my physical prowess. I set PRs on deadlifts and benchpress in the gym and she thinks it's funny that I think is' important. I used to be a sponsored athlete and there were at least girls when I was younger who were really impressed with that. She's not. But she seems all impressed with my mind, constantly asking me questions about how things work, what some things she read or saw means, etc. I like having that sort of thing over here at least. It feels good to feel like a girl looks "up", not "down", to you -- however you can achieve it. I figure the girly types make that really easy. But my wife doesn't make that so easy.
So yes, I was right. And you said your wife isn't that feminine, but can also look good in a dress? If it's not a fashion thing, what's her reason for wearing those and other girly clothes? That piques my curiousity.
I don't know how you're wired but it always seemed necessary for me to feel important some way... in my work, my family, among my friends. I think the girly-girl types appealed to me because they tap into that. They make you feel important. It might be a bit narcissistic to be fond of such things but I was born with a desire to make a name for myself some way -- not necessarily conquering the world but to feel important to people. To feel like I got this mission briefing and I accomplished it -- mission accomplished. I don't know how to explain it. I figured lots of guys just feel it. But some girls are better at cultivating that feeling than others. The feminine ones, either natural or learned, are usually really good at that. I read somewhere that Cleopatra wasn't necessarily so beautiful as legends say. What she was undeniably good at was speaking to guys in a way that made them feel important. She could tap into that side of their ego, and they loved her for it.
Well, I'm more passive and artistic than other men. And to me, one of the most attractive masculine traits is dominance. So... Passive, artistic, and submissive in romantic and sexual relationships.
But as for the other part, again, you have been a bit helpful in explaining why men like a little bit of dependency in women. And you gave an in-depth explanation, also bringing up your personal experiences. I hope any other answers I get from men here are as detailed as yours.
Cheers! Well, I am sort of in the same vein. I got a schizo thing. I liked art a lot in school along with technical stuff along with the athletic stuff. As a result, I liked all sorts. I didn't see the cliques. Well, I saw them but I didn't see the point. I dabbled in all of them. I am hardly a manly-man although I sometimes take pride in my ability to lift heavy things. And I am hardly intellectual as I learn only what's needed usually for the job or personal curiosity. But I do have enough of whatever most guys ship with to like the feeling of being able to protect a girl, or at least feel important to her in some way. I like to lead on the date. I like to be in control. I might just be a control freak of sorts. But I think if our life struggle is to be valued, and we still give enough of a damn to count how people look at us and treat us, it helps to have a girl who clings to your arm and thinks you're the world to her. My wife isn't exactly like that, but I'm also fond of challenges. :-D So I picked a balance.