Guys, Why are feminine women attractive? Why are feminine traits in women attractive (SERIOUS)?

[TomGarand]

OK, so after making a few questions here, I sought out some relationship advice from one of my newest followers, and I've been seeking relationship advice from a friend of mine who plays Yu-Gi-Oh (he's an adult, by the way). The thing with me is, one of my goals/desires in life is to find a woman to be in a relationship with, and even have a family.

They both say they understand me finding masculine traits in women attractive--something I've pointed out multiple times here--but that I should also open my mind to feminine women instead of just liking tomboys and action girls. I am taking that advice into consideration, but I don't really see the appeal of feminine traits in women, or "girly girls" for lack of a better term.

I understand why a lot of men like women who are short, delicate, or afraid of things like horror movies or pests (insects, spiders, mice, etc). When a woman has these traits, it makes men feel strong and manly, and gives them an urge to protect her. This would be a good reason to like feminine women... if I actually enjoyed feeling like a woman's protector.

So I want to know from other men here: What are the pros to feminine women, or feminine traits that women have? These traits can either be stereotypical or traditional. While all kinds of men are allowed to answer this question, I would prefer to hear from Conservative and even Red Pill men, since they are more likely to place importance on femininity in women. I wanna know from the other guys, what is it about feminine women that makes them attractive?

And again, I'm asking this because I am taking my friends' advice to heart, and due to my ex being kind of a tomboy, it's harder for me to see feminine traits as attractive. Again, any men can answer, but I'd prefer to hear from conservatives and Red Pill men. I'm not either, by the way.

And some other examples of feminine traits are:

-Feminine clothes/makeup
-Gentleness
-Empathy
-Sensitivity
-Nurturing
-Passivity
-Submissiveness

Updates

+1 y

And yes, I know that if someone only read the title and not the whole question, they'd think I'm ridiculous for asking. But to sum it up, two of my friends suggested opening myself to feminine women if I ever date again, instead of only dating tomboys or women with masculine traits (like my ex-GF).

But my problem is I don't understand what makes girly traits in women attractive. So I want men to tell me what makes these traits appealing.

[DrunkAss]

I don't know. Well, I like both and I married a sort of "true" tomboy. I mean one who can do muscle work on a farm but can also look super pretty in a dress. She's not trying to be like a guy. She can just do the grunt work. It's not a fashion thing for her, and she never gets offended by off-the-kilter jokes, even those poorly-timed. You offer her a chicken and she can cut its head off and skin it herself and cook it for dinner. Maybe that's not even tomboy. It's just old-fashioned, but definitely not girly-girl even if she can doll up like the best.

Personally, I do like the feeling of being able to protect a girl, and that's one of the tough things I had with my wife. It's like she's so good at protecting herself that what am I supposed to do? But I soon found her retarded with technical things, for example, and that made me feel all manly showing her that you shouldn't put metal things into microwaves and she still doesn't have the grip strength for pickle jars. She can climb trees easily but somehow struggles with pickle jars.

I still struggle with that sometimes. But definitely, with her, you get a whole lot of independence cause she's fine on her own. Don't respond to her for an entire week while you're on a trip overseas and she's just fine. She misses you but she doesn't expect you to be there all the time. I think she's near-perfect. But with her, the struggle is feeling valuable as a man. She really doesn't need one. And with girly-girls, at least when they call you all the time, and cling onto your arm in public, they make you feel important. I've had to find my own ingenious ways to continue feeling important in my marriage.

[TomGarand]

Well, you say you don't know, but the second and third paragraphs gave good explanations as to why men like women who are dependent on them. I don't believe an average man--even a Red Piller--would want a woman who's completely incompetent by herself.

But I see now that it's not just matters of physical strength. If a woman shows that she can depend on a man on SOME level, whether for physical or mental things (like the advice you gave your wife on microwaves), he feels manly and important. He feels like he can protect her (physically) or provide her with knowledge.

Am I correct on this?

[DrunkAss]

In the case of my wife, I think she looks up to me intellectually somehow. She depends on me to solve technical things, explain how things work. That sort of hits the spot for me. But there is a sort of thing I miss in that she isn't the slightest bit impressed by my physical prowess. I set PRs on deadlifts and benchpress in the gym and she thinks it's funny that I think is' important. I used to be a sponsored athlete and there were at least girls when I was younger who were really impressed with that. She's not. But she seems all impressed with my mind, constantly asking me questions about how things work, what some things she read or saw means, etc. I like having that sort of thing over here at least. It feels good to feel like a girl looks "up", not "down", to you -- however you can achieve it. I figure the girly types make that really easy. But my wife doesn't make that so easy.

[TomGarand]

So yes, I was right. And you said your wife isn't that feminine, but can also look good in a dress? If it's not a fashion thing, what's her reason for wearing those and other girly clothes? That piques my curiousity.

[DrunkAss]

I don't know how you're wired but it always seemed necessary for me to feel important some way... in my work, my family, among my friends. I think the girly-girl types appealed to me because they tap into that. They make you feel important. It might be a bit narcissistic to be fond of such things but I was born with a desire to make a name for myself some way -- not necessarily conquering the world but to feel important to people. To feel like I got this mission briefing and I accomplished it -- mission accomplished. I don't know how to explain it. I figured lots of guys just feel it. But some girls are better at cultivating that feeling than others. The feminine ones, either natural or learned, are usually really good at that. I read somewhere that Cleopatra wasn't necessarily so beautiful as legends say. What she was undeniably good at was speaking to guys in a way that made them feel important. She could tap into that side of their ego, and they loved her for it.

[TomGarand]

Well, I'm more passive and artistic than other men. And to me, one of the most attractive masculine traits is dominance. So... Passive, artistic, and submissive in romantic and sexual relationships.

But as for the other part, again, you have been a bit helpful in explaining why men like a little bit of dependency in women. And you gave an in-depth explanation, also bringing up your personal experiences. I hope any other answers I get from men here are as detailed as yours.

[DrunkAss]

Cheers! Well, I am sort of in the same vein. I got a schizo thing. I liked art a lot in school along with technical stuff along with the athletic stuff. As a result, I liked all sorts. I didn't see the cliques. Well, I saw them but I didn't see the point. I dabbled in all of them. I am hardly a manly-man although I sometimes take pride in my ability to lift heavy things. And I am hardly intellectual as I learn only what's needed usually for the job or personal curiosity. But I do have enough of whatever most guys ship with to like the feeling of being able to protect a girl, or at least feel important to her in some way. I like to lead on the date. I like to be in control. I might just be a control freak of sorts. But I think if our life struggle is to be valued, and we still give enough of a damn to count how people look at us and treat us, it helps to have a girl who clings to your arm and thinks you're the world to her. My wife isn't exactly like that, but I'm also fond of challenges. :-D So I picked a balance.

[WesBrewer]

It's all in your gene code my friend, the way you were made is why, also the way you were raised can define what is attractive, but not as much as you think. also, men usually like being the leader that is why we like soft women because we feel that they are easy to help and "lead".

[ShadezMcgee]

Your boys are smart and they have honestly said some of the things I told you on an older question you asked.

I have studied Red Pill concepts (minus the rage. The goal is to be mindful of women behavior and not let it run you wrong and teach you to be the master of your ship and know how to ha e self respect and tolerance levels of what you will and will not accept from a woman) and consider myself a conservative man.

Now, going over your traits here that your friends said are feminine:

Feminine clothes/makeup
-Gentleness
-Empathy
-Sensitivity
-Nurturing
-Passivity
-Submissiveness

I would say it has to be a combination of biology and traditionalism. The biology that men should be masculine and women be feminine and each comes with those traits. What has happened in society is that both genders have essentially been brought up to become the opposite of what they are at their core. Women are told to live like men through feminism, and feminism has essentially neutered anything about men to make them passive and feminine which turns women off at their core.

The traits you see above make women attractive to most men because that is what a woman is at her core, a nurturer, not a fighter. We love these traits like submissiveness and empathy because it means she will follow your lead and trust you and be able to support you through your issues so long as you do not dwell on it forever. Submissiveness does not mean she is mindless or forced into an particular way against her personality, far from it, it means she is willing to trust and follow you to guide and lead your relationship with her and make the big decisions that matter st the end of the day be it risky or difficult. It is an instinct that fuels attraction. They want a mate who is a rock, cannot be shaken and able to face adversity and conquer it regardless of setbacks. Things like clothes and make up are supposed to enhance her natural and most prominent feature, her femininity and beauty. That's why you see women dress in ways that compliment their body and enhance their beauty. It is supposed to attract men that can be a suitable mate for her in the future and help her bring out her true biological nature by birthing healthy children and raising them. That is why they are sought for with their sensitivity, nurturing, and submissiveness. They use that to help raise children and those traits emphasizes focus directed toward that instinct. She focuses on being motherly to her children, the man deals with the other crazy shit that can harm her and the family and provide being the protector and gatherer. That is why men love these women. It is not so much the need to be a hero and protector or a damsel in distress (that was the way movies and media raised men to believe that crap which has caused more harm than good) it is all instinctual. We want a woman that will bear healthy children and raise them with love and support through femininity while we as men also raise then in terms of provision and and showing how to survive. That is why kids with non divorced parents or who had a good balance of masculine and feminine role models are more well adjusted and functional in society. They came from a great balance of masculine and feminine energy that allows them to follow their instincts subconsciously and embrace who they really are not just as individuals but gender roles.

[ShadezMcgee]

To add to this,

Women that are masculine from teachings of feminism behave like men should. Dominant all the time. Confrontational. Aggressive. Independent. Sole providers for themselves. Can do anything a man can do. Encouraging sexual liberation. Now, I firmly believe everything I just gave examples for here with masculine women with the exception of the last one are not inherently bad traits to have. The problem is when a woman embraces the role of a man, they are going against their biological code and their core. By behaving and living like men, it drives men off and turns them off because men know on a subconscious level that she is just like him. Why would you want to date a woman who is just like you, constantly in her masculine with those traits all the time? We may as well date a dude and be gay. Women like this are great to have in terms of business relationships and maybe a friend, but ultimately not one we want to marry since that leads to dysfunction on a familial level.

Tomboys and women with tomboy traits are fine, but these women tend to also have femininity at their core which is why even though they have masculine traits or hobbies, they will still behave true to their biological code and instinct when they find a man that is their opposite. They will be submissive, feminine, nurturing and beautiful for a man that makes them feel like a woman at their core. It is an eb and flow process that centers around the balance of masculine and feminine energy.

[ShadezMcgee]

Now I know you have said you are more passive and don't want the dominant role, and that's fine. You do you, bud. I am just telking you what I learned.

One person I would suggest pointing you to would be Coach Corey Wayne. He has YouTube content and his book "How to Be a 3% Man" explains a lot of what I just gave you here. He is a dating/relationship coach and life coach. His content sounds like it would be great for you from what I have seen for your questions. His book I mentioned above is good reading material and he makes it a point to read it 10 to 15 times to hemp with retention and implementing its success.

[TomGarand]

I actually knew most of the things you said already, regarding biology, and what most women want. Although now I do see why men like these feminine traits.

But regarding the last parts of your answer? Give it to me straight, man. Is it... possible for me to have a good long-term relationship despite me being submissive? I was always a passive guy, and I do want a marriage and family of my own later down the road. But there are some times when I think me being a Sub will make that impossible. So many women want dominant men ir men who want equal power, and I'm worried that I'm screwed if I don't change.

And you agree with my friends that I should open myself to feminine, submissive girls as well?

[TomGarand]

And something I should point out is this: I actually know that there are women who genuinely want to take the lead. I've met two--one of which is my friend's sister. Two of my male followers here are married to them.

But the problem is, dominant women who WANT to lead a man (some if these women like men who are more dominant than them) seem so rare, it feels like I'll never have a relationship with one. So despite what I've seen and who I've met, I can sometimes be insecure about being a Sub. It just feels like I have so few options.

[ShadezMcgee]

I feel you should open yourself up to feminine women more, honestly. I am a passive guy myself, but grew into my masculine and still am breaking from the passive programming. Being submissive, it may not be impossible, but it will be challenging and sometimes hard. Say you disagree with your girl who is dominant on something, can you say you would feel comfortable with her decision or her attitude towards your disagreement God forbid she loses her shit? I feel that being submissive as a guy makes you come off as a pushover for women.

Now in your case, I won't lie to you man, but I feel your admission of you being a sub sounds more like a kink, not what your subconscious is telling you. Every time I was submissive to women I had flings with or was seeing, it never felt right and it left me more frustrated than anything because my needs were not being met at the cost of my letting them makes the calls and being "ok" with decisions when I wasn't since I didn't want conflict.

Where I am now where I am upfront, dominant and take the lead I feel more centered than ever. I feel you should lsiten to your friends open you views to more submissive and feminine women to not only widen your dating pool, but it will help you learn more about embracing your masculinity by being dominant and in control.

Again, I encourage you to look up Coach Corey Wayne on YouTube. I learned from him and a couple of other coach's content that helped me within the last two years here and have done way better on the relationship side and attracting women I like after figuring out my preferences through trial and error.

[TomGarand]

Actually, it's not just a sexual thing, and I was not like this due to feminism. I was always naturally passive and had an interest in art. Drawing, writing, literally, etc.

I can honestly see myself trying to become more masculine, but at the end of the day, I just like masculine traits (dominance obviously included) more. So it's going to be really hard to actually appreciate feminine traits in women I'm with.

What do you have to say about the insecurity I mentioned?

[ShadezMcgee]

I understand where you are coming from with passiveness and enjoying artsy things. There's nothing wrong with the latter bits since that makes up part of who you are.

Your liking of masculine traits with women you fancy is not wrong, either. Women like guy things and have traits hardlined in men, but I see your reasoning for those traits you like being an obstacle or almost excuse to stick with what you know and the shift to something new is coming off as fear of the unknown. There are feminine women with masculine traits, man.

Your insecurity of being a sub is valid because you are acknowledging it as an insecurity. You have to master it and grow. Women will smell that quick if you let that insecurity plague you. Women are attracted to men who are dominant because that is what is hardwired into them. Women who say they want to have their men more dominant than them or equal to them truly don't want that power or responsibility. They want to know their man has the balls to handle it so they don't have to.

I want to allude to the feminism for a second because I think the context can help. The hardcore feminazis you see shouting "I am strong and independent and want respect" They don't want equality, truly. They want to still have the perks of being a woman and have the power of the man via cherrypicking the best bits from the equality argument that benefits them, but not the responsibilities.

This is similar to the dominance. They want to be dominant and have power, but ultimately don't want to be the ones making the decisions since they want their men to do it and be able to submit to him because they don't have to have the responsibility that would otherwise force them to do it since their man has it handled.

Hopefully that makes sense. Corey Wayne talks about it in his book.

[Anonymous]

The title of the question, hahahaha “Why are feminine women attractive”. I like dominant women too and even I recognize that the question is ridiculous.

[TomGarand]

Again, I'm asking because my ex was tomboyish when I met her, so I have a hard time understanding what makes feminine traits appealing in women. And I'm taking my friends' advice about widening my horizons.

Now, can you honestly give me a good answer?

[Opinion Owner]

It’s the opposite of masculine traits. Men are attracted to it because ever since childhood, girls have been somewhat mysterious. They seem much different than men, which makes men attracted to them. Most men do not understand women too but are attracted to them.

[TomGarand]

Huh. Well, thanks for that, man. It's a bit vague, but I see that you took my question a bit seriously and answered as best as you can. So I appreciate that.

And I don't know if this helps, but I said in one of the paragraphs that I understand why men like women who are more fearful or (physically) fragile. I was hoping that someone could understand why a particular feminine trait is attractive--at least to them.

THAT'S what I meant to ask guys like you.