6 months of dating and still no sex?

[Ashleyraaiinnn]

I (f18) have been dating my boyfriend (m21) for 6 months, and we havnt had sex yet. He isn’t a virgin and he even brought up the convo of sex / kinks when we first started talking until I told him that I was a virgin. Since then, he never really brings up sexual conversations. We kiss and we cuddle a lot and he gets hard everytime but it never goes further than that. I was just wondering what this means? Does that mean he thinks that I am not ready and is waiting for me to initiate? Is he really into me if he is willing to wait this long without sex?

[btbc92]

Simple. He is uncomfortable taking your virginity because you're a virgin. He knows you'll be attached to him and he doesn't want to be resonsible for that and is questioning are you only doing that because you just want sex, or thinks a relationship is about having sex. Either way, sounds like you're just horny and not serious about a relationship. You don't need to have sex. But know that he is uncomfortable because again your a virgin. And he refuses to tell you the truth. If you think your values are whether or not you have sex, that's why you have a problem. It's not about if he's into you. It's about love and respect. Something that you're not having for him nor yourself. Your rushing for sex. But again, he is uncomfortable. I'm a virgin. I know. If he respected you, he wouldn't be having those conversations about kinks and what not. He would simply not have them or do those things anymore and would suggest that if you're not ready for that, that he rather for you to say something than to assume that's what he wants.

From what I heard and gathered. Some men want sex anyway, they don't care who they got to use. Then some just expect it because like you, that is what their taught or used to. Others grow to mature and don't do that anymore. And then rarely they respect your sexual choices and rather you make your own decisions. Just understand though, your making this about sex and your insecurities instead of focusing on building a relationship.

[Ashleyraaiinnn]

Umm no I never said I needed sex I’m perfectly happy with how things are going I was just asking about a guys point of view on it

[btbc92]

Listen. Not to offend you but listen to a woman who has wisdom on this. Men in general want sex. He never waited for sex, use your brain. He would have tried touching you but didn't. He is not comfortable BECAUSE of you're a virgin. If you weren't, he wouldn't mind. He probably would have had sex on the 3rd date given what these people do today. There is no point in asking men's opinion on it because they are not all the same, but their desires are pretty much the same. They want sex. I KNOW good men. If they care, they would tell you why. Not leave you guessing and questioning yourself. That is not a healthy relationship. And I believe in waiting for marriage to have sex. THAT is how you know. I know, because I had guys who said that to me, and I never dated ONCE.

[btbc92]

Sadly, not all men are authentic and have the balls to tell it to you straight. A man of respect at least TELLS you. Did he say anything? HE THOUGHT you were experienced sexually. Now that he knows he doesn't know how to tell you the truth. He doesn't want to 'break your heart', but he's fighting between having sex or God forbid raping you due to lack of self-control. So for that reason, he's rejecting you.

[btbc92]

I know that's not what you want to hear and it is in NO WAY a reflection on YOU. You're not the problem. Who your dating IS. You are not compatible. He wants sex. He just doesn't know how to take advantage of your sexual advances without actually telling you he wants to take advantage of you like he did his exes. Because if you forced yourself on him either he'll fight, give in and maybe regret it, or push you back and hurting not only YOUR feelings but ego. Do you REALLY want to base your sexual image on that? And you're a virgin? That's why you wait, and you be with somebody who is ALSO like you: a virgin. Somebody who desires something real and doesn't have those hangups. It's one thing when a man respects your virginity. It's another when he makes you feel like your not worthy.

[btbc92]

You can tell a LOT about a person by their history, what they did, how they did it, who they did it with the type of person they were with, why it was done, how many times, and what led to being with YOU. Where do you fit in his life? Why is he dating you? Why are you dating him? You two are not compatible. For some men, like that, they feel it's a hassle to teach you sex. Sex is not TAUGHT. It is LEARNED. And it's the intimacy you share together in LOVE, NOT self-gratification. You are not teaching him anything new. Except that your good for sex, and begging for his attention and to be chosen by a guy who had no respect sexually for himself or the girls he slept with. Because as a virgin, he feels your going to judge him for his performance sexually. That's why most men now don't want virgins unless it's to feed his ego, or he really is a Godly man who lives by the same standards, unless he too made mistakes. But then, he wouldn't even want to have sex with you without a ring and your name now his surname. That is what a good man does. Him? I automatically read it. These guys are not being honest with you on this site as your boyfriend is dishonest with you. That's why I always said this. As much as I don't like whoremongers, I have more respect for a man who says he just wants sex, then a guy who says he wants a relationship and he has kinks, and questionable sexual history and practices. Virgin or not aside. You can tell also about a person by HOW they have sex. I'm a virgin. Never touched a man let alone him. Tell me I'm wrong.

[Ashleyraaiinnn]

He has tired touching me. It’s very possible that he is waiting for me to make a move

[btbc92]

Again, it's because you're a virgin. Not because you want sex. You tried that. It's because you're not experienced and because again, he doesn't want to make you feel like it's about sex. Why you think you feel you want and need to have sex? Because he is sublimely making you feel like that. So that way if he gets tired of the relationship he'll bounce with your virginity in hand. He wants control and he's winning.

[btbc92]

That's what he wants you to think to basically break you in mentally. Because if that is the case, why wait 6 months? Look. A person who wants you, WANTS you for sex. You're not married, you're a virgin, you do not owe him sex. He had enough girls and ranking more. Sex is sex to him. It's not about love its about pleasure for him. If your seeking love, your not going to find it with him. Because look how he treats you, and you cuddle, kiss, and already he's already hard. That's not love. It's just sex. And if you have sex with him and lose your virginity, your screwed. Pun intended.

[btbc92]

He knows EXACTLY what he's doing and he's planned it. And your falling for his trap.

[Ashleyraaiinnn]

Lol I don’t agree but ok then

[btbc92]

He has EXPERIENCE. He KNOWS how to psychologically play with your mind and get in your head. That's why your question yourself. He is a MAJOR red flag. There is a REASON why he is 21 and had all that sexual experiences with those girls. It's a trick. My friends had the same issues, assumed the same with their now exes. It's always the girl that's the problem. Lost their virginities and after a while they start acting funny, maybe talk to other girls, etc. Not to put ideas in your head. But again, he's playing the long game.

You don't have to agree with me. It's your life your choice. But don't say I didn't warn you, like I warned my friends. They didn't listen. They now wished they did.

[btbc92]

My dad had 40+ women. He'll even tell you that you wouldn't listen to me because that wants you to want, but if you want to do it, then it's on you. My only prayer right now is that you better hope after this you're not crying in your room somewhere when it happens. Not if. When. You choose if you want to be blind to it. Otherwise, Don't say you never said you needed sex and your happy, and your question about 6 months of dating and still no sex. Either you're questioning if he is secretly a player, or you're expecting sex because you think that's the only way to keep a man interested. Either way, you're not being honest with SELF and your personal fear. I'll tell you that it's natural to feel that way and be honest. We're adults here. But the more you lie, the worse off your going to be. I'm sensing this guy is your nightmare, not your dream come true. He wouldn't want to date me, because I would have caught him in less than 5 mins. What you have going on is naiveness. Wise up before it's too late. Otherwise, do what you want.

[Lumikaddi]

In all due respect, if you feel that he loves you and cares for you in any other way - why should you care about sex? Having your virginity taken away from you by the wrong guy is something you should think of. I hope he is being a gentleman and has good intentions of doing so, cause not many females still has their virginity at that age these days. Hope you lose your virginity to the one you'll have for the rest of your life. All the best :)

[Ashleyraaiinnn]

Oh I don’t mind I was just wondering why this was happening cause he definitely had sex with his exes. But I appreciate him not pressuring me

[Lumikaddi]

You are lucky girl, if he doesn't play and he is good to you - I reckon he is a keeper :)

[rjroy3]

Quick tip for how guys work vs how girls work.
To guys, one thing causes another thing.
To girls, the first thing means something in and off itself.

To a guy, saying "I was late because of traffic" is normal. To a girl, "if you loved me you would have been on time". So being late = not loving her.

So when you're asking "what does it mean?" In regards to not having sex or him not pursuing. A better question is, "what changed that caused him to stop asking, trying?". Because his want for sex has not gone away. That much i can tell you.

Talk to him about it

[Jamie05rhs]

^He does make valid points. I don't think they apply to this situation, but they're valid points regardless.

[Wiredone]

If he is not pushing the subject he is being respectful of you and giving you time. It sounds like you have a great guy There. Yes he is totally into you. 6 months is not a long time to wait for sex. He wants you to be comfortable and ready. If you are ready, then tell him. Communication is key to all relationships.

[strawberrylipstick]

Some guys don't want to always make the first move lol, and it's especially awkward the first time. But don't be taking advice on this sort of topic from strangers, the best thing to do is just ask him face to face. Communication is going to get the situation so much farther than not having a solid answer XD

[Fuzzyfuzzballs]

Definitely this. Good perspective.

Communication is always 101 in any solid relationship 🙏🏻🌻

[Guy__]

I hope all went well and you're still with him. But why then do you ask us about the hair color?

My age is much lower than what's on profile and I'm a virgin. Couple of things doing this to men (making them not initiate sex) are religious programs... and fapping (I'm retaining that's why my comments are often so thirsty)
I seriously can't imagine how he'd cuddle and not proceed... unless again, he is releasing it elsewhere. Or could be an insecurity like size or something.

[Ashleyraaiinnn]

He’s my ex now, I found out he was cheating on me. I’m with a different guy now and he’s great and we have a good sex life

[REALSTEEL]

well it sounds to me miss you got a absolutely a terrific guy let me explain at my old age when he found out your a virgin he backed off which is awesome on his part cause and especially waiting this long all for 1 reason and 1 rrason only he knows thst losing ypur virginity is very precious moment in your life he wants to take his time and make absolute sure that "THAT YOU CHOOSE HIM" to have that special moment that you will remember for the rest of your life

[Egirl28]

I fully agree as a older virgin i wish this was the way guys were

[REALSTEEL]

well i am but every man is different miss and good luck too you im single if you know of a nice lady looking for a gentleman from Pennsylvania

[EmotionOfFear]

Cherish him. It means he's really into you and is in the relationship for you because he likes and cares about you, and not in it for the sex. My type of guy, I'm the same way. I respect that. You are a bit too young to be having sex just at 6 months, anyway. Go far with this relationship, it sounds like something special, and he might just be the one. Sounds like your first time will be very special. Clearly he doesn't want to just take it from you.

[DizzyDesii]

I wouldn't have sex with someone in less than 6 months. Maybe he's not ready or maybe he's waiting for you to initiate. Lets just hope he's a good guy and not getting it elsewhere

[midnightmoon05]

It’s easy to get into a physical/sexual relationship.
hard to communicate...
this is the time for you to open up to each other about how you feel/think about this topics.

[psychoticanimallover]

You must initiate. He doesn’t want to pressure you. Tell him you want to taste his coconut smoothie and feel his roll of coins. Make sure it stays in the coin wrapper.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

It sounds to me like he's nervous and doesn't want to pressure you. He might just think you'll initiate when you're ready. I'd just talk to him and find out, tell him where you stand with all this.
I'm sure it's not because he isn't into you

[slatyb]

Six months is a long time for two willing people.

"Does that mean he thinks that I am not ready?" Most likely. You should initiate and see what happens.

[Hermes-Paris]

He is probably waiting for you to knock him in the head and tell him you wanna do some doinkin. Short of that I am not sure if he will get the message.

[Gwenhwyfar]

It means both those things. Put your hand on his crotch or his hand on yours if you wanna get things started.

[S5ARR0W]

She knows better than any of us lol. simply, plug cables into sockets to power things up!

[sheikalana]

He respects your virginity and is probably waiting on you to make a move but doesn't want to put too much pressure on you.

[magiusX26]

he is likely afraid he'll scare you off by initiating at this point (your virginity). so you will probably have to get things started by at least making it veryyyyyyyyyyy obvious you are ready.

[chHaynes]

You should definitely tell him that you're ready for sex he won't really know it sounds like he's just being courteous let him know that you're ready for sex

[Giggletr0nn]

He's probably nervous, you will need to be the one to make it happen

[ChefPapiChulo]

Who knows? I remember this chick and me used to do the same. I just didn’t want to invade her space so I never made a move.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. And yes. It sounds to me like you've found a great guy there. He actually respects you. That's rare.

[Meldrum]

He still gets hard? Does that tell you anything? Give the guy a blowjob to ease his tensions then ask him if he wants things to progress.

[Xoxo3rach3xoxo]

He might not want you to cling to him because when somebody takes your virginity you might be clingy

[scott04sa22]

It could be saving the sex for later and make sure he's not moving fast.