I am a Christian girl who has never had a boyfriend and rumors are starting at my church that I must be a lesbien? How do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

I feel really judged and alone
Even my friends at church are starting to buy into these rumors
I am straight
I find guys attractive
I didn't date because I was focused on school and career.
I refused to be set up by youth leaders because I didn't want to settle for a guy they picked out for me like most of my Christian girlfriends.

[Agape93]

Remind those who do such things that they are acting against what their religion claims.


Exodus 23:1
“You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.“



Exodus 20:16
“ You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”


Proverbs 20:19
“ Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.”


Proverbs 19:9
“ A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.”


Not even touching on the fact that it’s against one of the Ten Commandments, you know, the one against lying and perjury.

[Gosceewual]

My grandad thought I was gay apparently: my mum told me this, he thought I was cos I never had a girlfriend

it didn't bother me n I didn’t care, if he thinks I’m gay then fine, even though clearly I’m not cos I never act femine or girly like James Charles! I’m masculine

i jus explained to him that the only reason I don’t have a girlfriend is cos I don’t try to get one, it’s not worth the risk of rejection which for me is 9//10. Don’t wanna be sad n hurt by my guaranteed rejection so why even bother tryna get a girlfriend when no girls want me?

i suggest you do the same, explain why you’re single

[DavidFox]

Sadly gossip and judgments are so prevalent in church even though we are taught the opposite. I grew up in the church and while everyone will say ignore it I feel where you are coming from. So I would say don’t lie but give them something to chat about.


Ask a guy friend if yours to role play for a day. Have him come, sit next to you, and hold hands. That’s it: don’t kiss, introduce him as your ‘friend’ with a smile, and leave them guessing. Then when rumors swirl let them go and eventually their judgments about you they have today will fade.

[DavidFox]

Have you asked your male friends for their feedback in what you could improve on?

[Asker]

They say I come across as intimating because I am opinionated and because I like to dress up

[DavidFox]

So dressing up can be subjective because putting effort into your presentation should be attractive. Are you dressing more conservatively than others around you in different situations?

[Asker]

Yeah I don't do the overly sexy look ever its just not me but it could be making me come across as a prude.

[DavidFox]

That’s why I’m wondering if you are being too conservative compared to your peers. Would never expect you to dress as a slut or be uncomfortable but clothes can send signals especially because as guys we have only your outside appearance to go on until we have had a conversation

[Asker]

Thank you that is helpful advice

[DavidFox]

You are welcome. I have tried a few group activities in our church youth group and social clubs and that’s also an opportunity to meet new people

[TOTEMPLASTER]

You don't have to 'date; to get laid. Your excuse of 'school and a career' as deterrents to having sex ring hollow: you likely are just too nervous. Once you finally experience sex with a gentle lover you will regret all the time you wasted being celibate. Flirt with a male that attracts you and get on with life! Women have total control of sex so don't worry about rejection unless you make Nancy Pelosi look cute,

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you just have to ignore asshole in your life. But that aside, maybe its time for you to have a relationship, if you're comfortable with it. I've seen girls keep pushing potential partners away until there was no one left.

[dreamstar72]

Make a play for the pastor and give them something really to talk about

[dreamstar72]

Sorry wrong place

[Steve1071]

Ignore it and live with it cause today in the 21st century everyone wants to put labels on everyone which shows the shallowness of humanity. Second why do they care about what your sexuality is? Are they so miserable about their short comings in the sex department that they have to mess with others.

[abc3643]

What others think is irrelevant.
What the Lord thinks is not.

[Dazzler1983]

Don't worry about people gossiping about you. Otherwise you will force a relationship just to prove your straight and like u said you dont want to settle.

[007kingifrit]

i mean the simplest solution is... date. make an online dating profile. recognize that "your career" can wait and you only have so many years to find a high quality man. that time is now

[msc545]

Stop going to that church and find another one. Those people sound toxic.

[zagor]

The youth leaders try to set you up with a guy? Sounds like a cult. Who is the pastor, Jim Jones?

[dudeinohio]

I think you need to find another church.

[Jamie05rhs]

That's f'ed up. I'm sorry.

[Waldoe]

stay strong and be true to yourself...