Days after you pay for your date's meal, is it OK to ask them to split the bill if there's no longer any interest?

Question

Shout out to @cynicaldreamer for sharing this article.

Tyme1313 · Accepted Answer

Ok, it depends, ignore everything anyone said bellow, here is the actual law in multiple states.

If THEY are the one that has no interest, if they had not intended to date long term and lead you on believing it was a possibility, you have the legal right to sue them for damages regarding the cost of the date. Not only can you be compensated for their expenditures, but they can be forced, by law, to pay all of your legal fees, and punitive damages for the action.

It comes down to, were they a gold digger (male or female) looking for a free meal? If yes, you can sue them, if no, courts will throw out the lawsuit. It really is assessed on the concept that they never intended to date them long term, and lead them on to obtain some benefit.

(You could technically argue the same thing about men that only want sex and then ghost, however, as sex has no legal monetary value the courts cannot currently award damages, as it would then be considered illegal under most states laws)

Personally, I just always ask to split the bill at the actual time of the date. It removes any doubt from everyone involved, no one is out anything really if it doesn’t work out. It’s overall fair, and shouldn’t be something that offends anyone.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Is it okay? Well, there is no law that would prohibit you from making the request, but would not expect to get much of a response from a lady if I had already made it clear that I had no interest in moving forward with her. My time would be better spent by going to the beach and taking a leak in the ocean in hopes of raising the tide!

RP_Blackburn · Accepted Answer

You already paid, and days have past. Unless you wanted to split the bill initially and she knew it and pressured you into paying for all of it, then it makes no sense to expect her to pay you for that now. That's like the people who take back gifts they got each other after they break up. The exchange was over. You lost rights to that after you gave it to them. That's how gift-giving works. If you were just letting them borrow something of yours then ofc take it back, but geez. Just cause you don't like them anymore doesn't mean you get to change the past. Being mad doesn't make you a financial time traveler.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Okay, I'm sorry but people are getting too ridiculous with it... If you want someone to go Dutch, you establish that BEFORE the date! They went out on not 1 but 3 dates. And nothing was said about reimbursement till After it didn't work out? So what, now people expect dating/relationship refunds?
How much more ridiculous can people get. People bitch about paying child support for their kids, but expect money back after a date... Omg...
And then people ask why I don't date anymore..smh🤦🏼‍♀️

Account · Answer

I would have send him a bit more and told him "keep the change, apparently you need it"

MrOracle · Answer

Remember the old cartoon "Cosby Show"? One of the guys was always saying: "No class." That's how I feel about a guy asking for a date "refund." No class.

loveslongnails · Answer

Fuck no! LOL That gets my "Biggest Loser Move of the Month" award so far. What a jerk off.
If he wasn't comfortable with paying for all of any date, he should has brought it up then, and certainly after the first date.

Or... she could invoice him for $300 and bill it out like this:

ENTERTAINMENT BILL FOR DATE

*** Fun, great conversation, being seen in the company of a beautiful girl : $100 x 3 = $300
This includes your loser discount because I feel sorry for you.

Thank you for validating my lack of interest and proving my instincts about you were correct.

Screenwriter · Answer

DUTCH, DUTCH, DUTCH!!! Go Dutch on first dates, so if they're miserable and fail, no one's out much money. Agree where you're going to go: usually a coffee date or breakfast. Both cost very little money. But do this BEFOREHAND.
You come across as a miserable MISER if you try to do this afterward.

Lliam · Answer

Asking for reimbursement after the fact is beyond pathetic. What a total loser. He's an embarrassment to the male gender; the opposite of gentleman.
She should not only block him but also share his messages with the world so that, hopefully, no women will ever agree to date him again. Can you imagine being in a relationship with such a petty, selfish prick?
If he is such a chickenshit, he should have taken her out for a cup of coffee at a cheep diner or told her up front that if he paid for a meal he expected sex in return.

TruthBringer · Answer

I'm not against the idea of splitting the bill. At the same time, being the one to pay and taking responsibility in doing so, it will show lack of integrity on your end to ask the money back just because it didn't go the way you want it. This isn't about impressing the other person or taking "revenge". It's about your own self-image and not end up being disappointed in yourself for being so petty. I've gone on a date once in the past and ended up paying for everything and still got a rejection. Yet, I didn't ask her to pay for her half. I just took it as a lesson and made sure it's not repeated again.

If you insist on paying the bill, then take full responsibility. Which means taking an L if things don't turn out the way you want to. All in all, it's best to avoid paying for the whole bill all together and either split the bill, go on financially cheap dates or go on dates that don't involve money at all.

razelove · Answer

I start out splitting, or outright asking them to pay. To do so down the line is just petty, if you offered to pay, you paid. I'm going to guess it was never anything specific like "I pay for dinner and you give me a blowjob" then he could request a refund if he doesn't get blown. Honestly I wouldn't want to get blown by someone that cheap though...

Regardless, you date without expectations except that you will meet a person, likely not the one you see in pictures. To be that immature and petty about offering to pay for a meal, and not having expectations you never voiced met, he isn't making her look worse, just himself.

Really, with that kind of attitude towards dating, giving up on the idea and getting escorts would be better, you know, as long as he tells them what he wants. Good luck asking for half-off there lol

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It does not matter if a date or with friends, asking days afterwards to split the bill, is just crass and would reflect on what a cock the person was.

Also the entire are we splitting the bill thing is before a the date or when deciding on restaurant.

if I found out any mates had done this, they would get piss taken out of them mercilessly, also they would go down in everyone’s reckoning.

Imagine 3 dates in, you decide it does not work, then get a bill for 3 meals lol.

anyone doing this would need to look at themselves as a person.

jshm2 · Answer

Meh. Any court in the world will tell you that you cannot claim for something days after. Especially if there was no proof of the other party agreeing to the cost. By that logic anyone could claim you owe them 35 bucks because you met them for "drinks" a while back.

But these sorts of social media callouts usually end up being made up/misconstrued horseshit anyway. (S) he's just looking for attention is all.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Wtf. If you like a girl fr and she meets your requirements and treats you with respect and you want to buy her a meal, buy her one. Enjoy your date and thats that. If it doesn't work out it doesn't. Its just money. You will get more. If she's a real lady then she deserves it.

You idiots keep buying ho bags meals and getting used. Never buy a meal for a girl that doesn't respect you. Thats some dumb ass shit. Thats why you hate it.

Now if you didn't pay yet and she starts acting all bullshit then dont pay. I did this one. As soon as we sat down she basically said she wanted to be friends so i made her split the bill and she was pissed. Nbd either.

katiebaby44_ · Answer

LOL if a guy asked me to give his money back for the date we went on, I’d be pumped he wasn’t interested in me anymore.
I never expect a guy to pay on the first, and I’m happy to split the check or take it myself. Once you commit, though, days after? Seriously? You really gonna pull that? Do you really regret the date that much?

alexander3244 · Answer

If that's a first date, second, or whatever number it is, I wouldn't agree to pay for her meals unless we're officially a couple. Even if we're a couple I'd still want to pay for myself only and her to pay for herself, yet I'd like to buy her nice presents if that's what makes her happy. Same for cooking, I'm a grown adult and I cook for myself every day and don't need anybody to babysit me. As for house chores, we split it more or less equally with an option to exchange responsibilities. I just don't want things like that to ruin our relationship, and I want to make sure I do my part to show her much much she means for me, help her and make her happy, and if she'll take me for granted, won't appreciate me or start to ignore my needs then I'll just find a woman who will make me happy. Cheating is for pussies!

Anonymous · Answer

No that’s cheap. Even if she suggested let’s go here. I’m the one who agreed. But at the same time I’m not going to take a girl to some fancy restaurant where the food costs $100 per plate. I think girls assume there’s some obligation guys must do for them to show interest, spending money isn’t one. We live in tough times, I have to worry about myself. A girl can turn around after the first date by ghosting/blocking me. Why would I trust a girl unless she’s someone I dated for a while, was in a relationship with and married to.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

If you don't have the money to throw around, don't throw it around. Most people are okay with splitting the bill the first few dates, & far after that, anyway.
No, I wouldn't give him his money back, DAYS after. If it was the next day because of a banking issue, sure, but this was after multiple dates.
I always confirm who's paying or if we're splitting the bill. I don't like to assume one way of another.

Zealashton · Answer

if i buy the meal for us, i dont even think about it, its just my nature to be nice, if you want to split the bill then just pay for our meal next time,.
or buy coffe and donuts, and go with the flow,
i never say thanks, unless its a stranger, why, beacuse its expected. if your my friend or my wife, i expect things from you, and you expect things from me, its too be expected, something i learned from anime lols

MrWolf · Answer

Nothing wrong with that if you ask me.

And if I'm lose interest there isn't a next date.

When i was dating if she can't keep an conversation or get me hooked on the first date thats when I'm done.

Like It ain't worth the time or effort to go for round two.

Can't Impress don't bother.

Other thing I'd usually split the bill the first time sometimes. Just to see how they react!

Try it sometimes you may find it an interesting thing.

LegendOfTheHairSniff · Answer

As a guy its best to have a notebook for every girl youve paid a meal for and receipts at hand, her contact details and home address. So when summoned to court for a large debt that you can't pay. You can claim that as a 'man' you were brought into society and told that you have to pay for a woman on a date and this ruined your life. Then the court will have to send out 1000s of bailiffs to retrieve the money owed by all these women 😎 as they will not accept liability for what feminists did.

Citizenkirk · Answer

I don't see the point of hair 🪓 or nickel 🤣 and dimbing the 99 cent barrito or double cheeseburger. Side of🍟is on her, though, since years of experience in the fast food industry have taught me that the burger and drink or burrito is always the promotional gateway food to the more expensive, cost prohibitive 🍟.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

if he wanted to split the bills, he should have asked before he paid.

douride2 · Answer

Splitting the bill should be decided before the date. Not 3-4 days later.

Phoenix98 · Answer

If I'm the one who took her out and asked her out on a date then yes I am the one who is gonna pay. If it's the other way around then we can do the bill however she wants.

arlesche · Answer

No, take the loss. Don't be an asshole. You pay for your dates meal because you asked them out, you aren't buying a relationship.

Kas19 · Answer

I think everyone should just split the bill in general. If you're only paying for the whole bill just because you're interested, that's a little silly.

In short, I don't think it's wrong but I do think it's silly.

FictionalCharacter · Answer

Oh yeah, I read that article.  Guy is too attached and didn’t move on.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Lmao i’d hang up/shut the door in their face 😂 I’m so glad im all about splitting the bill anyways because if someone approached days later like that, i’d be tempted to laugh in their face

lillianaustin · Answer

you shouldn't ask someone, it's better if they offer to pay

AN1995 · Answer

No. As a guy if i ask a girl out.  il pay for the meal even after we decide that. Their won't be a second date.  i asked her out, She showed up. the least i could do is pay for the meal.

Starrr01 · Answer

No that just shows immaturity and bitterness on your part. Take the loss and move on and if you really needed the money that bad then you can’t afford to date and shouldn’t be doing it.

LemiaOfTheCodes · Answer

Its a bit dickish to say "Hey Do you mind spilting the bill considering we aren't making this a permant thing", if your man enough to pay on the night dont back out if she isn't interested in pursuing it further.

Anonymous · Answer

This think was all over internet few weeks ago, where you been then?

My opinion, you should forget about it once you payed, as your decision is already done, pay or split.

Did she promised him anything before in return, if he pays for it?

aliali8 · Answer

Honestly, you're better off just saying you want to "split the bill" right from the beginning of the date. Because if you're gonna ask a question like this, you're just gonna look like a cheap skate.

Bee-Hatch · Answer

Nobody forces anyone to pay the entire bill, and I personally wouldn't be on a date with so little respect for another person as to think paying the whole bill was acceptable.

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

No, but I don't agree with one person paying for the whole thing in the first date anyway, at that point is should either be split 50/50 or each should pay their own way.

Agape93 · Answer

When I paid for it, it’s paid for and I won’t ask for anything in turn. If I lose attraction, I’ll just not continue with them.

MeghanL · Answer

I suppose you can ask & have her think you're a tool, thereby affirming the lack of chemistry.

Jjpayne · Answer

I'm hoping this is unanimous, no, of course not 🙄 it's a nice gesture and even if it's a bad break up, you can still treat another human being 🤦

ChiTown33 · Answer

🤣 Do you mean like a refund if you paid? Or are you saying split for future dates? And why would the latter even be an issue if you're not interested anymore?

Neal_Anblome · Answer

Absolutely, and keep all receipts, so even if it works out, when you break up in the future, you can charge everything. If it was a 10-20 year old relationship and you get all that cash back suddenly, it's early retirement 😎

Anonymous · Answer

I realize its a rhetorical question, but it speaks to the sexism, hypocrisy and entitlement of today's women wo, in then post feminism era, still expect men to both ask them out AND pay for them as if they were escorts.

Floppy2112 · Answer

I am old fashion, I always pay. But if the interest wanes, I am not going to be going out with her, so... yeah, that's it.

Anonymous · Answer

Im not sure i would do that. Not unless she offered to pay me back during the date. Even then i never spend money i intend to get back.

Sadly this is the world that feminists have created though. they wanted equality, they got it.

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

i wouldn't have paid for it in the first place. And if i did, i would ask for the money back. I have never bought any girls drink on a date. Every time i've offered they refused.

Vikings11 · Answer

That is part of the dating process, that's almost like giving someone a gift and days later asking for it back.

Archerer · Answer

You mean ask for money after the date to pay you back for the date you already paid for? That’s pathetic

Nic1330 · Answer

That's like asking hey I bought this great tv to watch the superbowl and waiting a month just to get your money back

Anonymous · Answer

Of course not! What idiot thinks that's okay? Also, the response is likely to be a deafening silence anyway. So why humiliate yourself with such an asinine request?

Feelicks · Answer

In these hard economic times it's the only sensible way to go.

GoldenTulip · Answer

No it's lame... you come over as very cheap skate. Lol

Anonymous · Answer

That's like having sex consensually and then days later saying you changed your mind and claiming you raped them. They agreed to the situation as is. You can retroactively change the agreement.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No, it's not okay. No takebacks. No renigs (or however you spell that.)

COMMODOREII · Answer

If you have no interest in her then why go out with her?

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

no, she can pay you with her "holes" instead. You pay the full bill as a man

Josh4206 · Answer

Its ok if you decide that before.

WowwGirl · Answer

Pfffffft.

Thedivinechic · Answer

Whoever invited the person should pay.

spartan55 · Answer

I'd say that definitely falls under 'tacky'.

exitseven · Answer

No, just think of it as a cheap lesson.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

No it’s not

SirJohn42 · Answer

lol that is amusing but id never ask

Twalli · Answer

Once it's paid the discussion is over.

Days after you pay for your date's meal, is it OK to ask them to split the bill if there's no longer any interest?

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Days after you pay for your date's meal, is it OK to ask them to split the bill if there's no longer any interest?

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