True or false: if nothings happened after months of hanging out one on one, prolonged eye contact etc as friends, she doesn’t fancy you?

[Anonymous]

True - she just sees you as a friend and nothing more and there’s no point asking

False - you have to ask her

[Browneye57]

Oh, she might, or she might not. Some are so self-confident, so afraid, they won't commit, and they won't engage sexually. Some are waiting for some odd reason or another. Some think they should wait 'till you marry them.
Some are convinced all men are rapists, that's what feminism tells them. They think you're just waiting for the right time to rape them. Down deep, even sub-conciously, they're afraid of and hate men.
Some just don't like sex. They're broken, or asexual, and just never get the tingles.
If a woman never got the vag-tingles, or lost them, THEY ARE NEVER COMING BACK. EVER. Their brain just doesn't work that way.
A woman will keep a man around - the friendzone - if he's kind to her, validates her, kisses her ass, does shit for her. But she has zero romantic or sexual interest. A weak guy will hang in there just hoping one day she'll change her mind - they're called 'beta-orbiters'. And it's NEVER happening, but worse, no guy worth his salt wants sympathy-sex anyway.
No, it's just never happening.
If a woman wants to get with a guy she'll break all the rules to do it.
If she doesn't, she'll make up a new rule everyday why she can't.

[Drumlin2001]

I was a late bloomer, had mental blocks which stopped me pursuing romantic relationships. Was only after seeing shrink at 35 that I managed to break them.
Before that there were a few occasions, not many as I didn't actively pursue anything, when I would get close to someone, hang out one to one but nothing would come of it. I did fancy them, just had anxiety/nerves holding me back.

[Cynicaldreamer]

False- have you asked her?
She might like you, but isn't sure you feel the same, bad at reading signals (I definitely fall into that category), or might not want to make a move first without knowing if you're interested in her or not.

You can't just go by "hanging out," to determine if you like someone or not- heck, you can hang out with platonic friends. Plus you just referred to her as a "friend." Meaning that's how she sees you right now- have you given her any indication (other than eye contact... really?) that you like her?

Next time you see or spend time with her, tell her you're interested in her as more than a friend. Go from there.

[KloexJayne]

She may be shy, really insecure, scared of rejection... all of the above? Lol

[OlderAndWiser]

If you don't know after three dates, then the answer is probably "no."

[Anonymous]

How do you guys make it to 30-35 and still think like awkward teenage boys? I don't get it.

The only way anything happens is if you make it happen. Fuck all of this talk about "risk", the worst thing that can happen is that she says "sorry I don't like you in that way" and you don't end up dating her - just like you already haven't been dating her for the last 6 months.

[travelling_bill]

more importantly girls tend not to make the first move, and there is an expiry date on your potential dateability - miss that and it will be very hard to have her see you as anything else but just another guy friend; grow a pair and ask her

[Asker]

Why is there an expiry?

[Asker]

Have I already gone past it? Since it’s been over 6 months since we became close?

[travelling_bill]

I don't know why. I can assume it has something to do with biology (not to waste time on potential mates that are "just hanging out"). Was in this situation once. I hung out with a beautiful girl, whom I never even dreamed of asking out (thought she was way out of my league, silly, young, inexperienced me). Later on I was made aware she'd been making eyes at me the whole time, arranging for us to be alone etc. buut by the time I realized what was happening she was no longer interested, the friendship fizzled and died shortly after.

Think about it - how long are you willing to spend waiting for someone to make a move? At some point you get frustrated and find someone who knows what they want.

You've likely gone past the point of no return, but there's only one way to find out now isn't there? Yes there's risk, but no risk = no gain, duh. Good luck!

[NathanDavis]

If you do nothing, nothing happens... this can go on for months and years, decades, a century.

Want something, do something.

[Asker]

Why do so many guys advise against it? Saying it will wreck the friendship

[NathanDavis]

Because we're all different and have had different experiences, so we'll come with different perspectives.

So first question, is there really a friendship? a friendship means that the both of you are focused on being friends, the moment either of you have a different intention, then this is not a friendship per se. This is one person being friendly and the other masking a different intention.

Question two, have you felt that there's a mutual interest, or at least intrigue, there's any indication to you that her, she could be interesting or wondering about more? or is she just friendly.

If the situation is like the first scenario, if she's friendly and you want else, then there's no friendship to save here... you're only making it longer for the time where you could no longer hold it and somehow make it evident that you want more and not just a friendship, this unless... you can actually forget about it and actually be a friendly friend to her.

If the scenario is the second, in which you perceive there might be an interest from her as well, then well... this is when you could do something about it, about that.

[Asker]

I have no idea. I think she did like me and now she’s lost interest. All the guys tell me not to say anything. They tell me to just accept I’m a friend and nothing more.

[NathanDavis]

" you have no idea " scratch that.

You thought, she liked you... what made you think of that, there has to be something there, a reason why you thought of that.

You also say she lost interest, what interest, interest how... how do you figure there was one in the first place?

"all the guys" scratch that entirely, this is not about them

[Asker]

No idea because I can’t tell.

I thought she might like me because I just had that gut feeling. Always laughing at all my jokes, following me around, spending most of her time with me, making prolonged eye contact with me.

Lost interest as she seems less engaged with me recently. She seems distant.

[NathanDavis]

Just ask her out to the movies, don't tell her you like her or anything, tell her that you would like to go watch a movie with her, just the two of you... and then see what happens from there.

If she says she's not interested, then that's obvious.
if she says okay right away, then she's still interested and not distant... interested on what, thought... well you can find out more about that later

if she asks why, and the details about going out, then you would know she's aware of the situation going on... so, that's a good sign too.

So just ask her.

[Asker]

I already do this kinds of things with her every week and nothing is happening. We go to drinks, movies, dinners, boat rides, cable cars, gardens. And we don’t even hold hands or cuddle.

[NathanDavis]

Okay... so now the question is, if you were to ask her out on a date, and you make it clear to her that you have an intention of becoming more, and then... she says she is not interested and either

A) she thinks is best to stop the friendship since she is not interested and now it would be weird or
B) she thinks you two can still try to be friends but she's not interested on the romance

if she said both of those two things, what would you say to both, how would you feel about both scenarios.

[Asker]

A - Ok. So be it. I have plenty of other friends and I’ve had my fulfilment of what she can offer me as a friend now.
B - ok. At least I still have a friend I can wine and dine with.

[NathanDavis]

There you go then, seems like there's no real risk to you... so just find the best moment and the best way to let her know that you want to take her out on a date, and make sure you are very clear, that you would like to try if the two of you can work out as something more than just friends... just look for the moment and do it.

[Asker]

In person?

[Asker]

There is a bit of a risk in that I won’t be able to do pseudo dates or friend dates with her if it wrecks the friendship.

[NathanDavis]

Yes in person, no half-efforts... forget about excuses or risks, you have waited way too long to be cautious now, if you want to do something do it right... or just don't do anything at all and forget about everything, forever.

[Asker]

So I can’t text her? I have to wait until Saturday when I see her?

[NathanDavis]

If you two have a very good habit of texting then yes... but if you two are the kind of people that text, and respond every five hours or three days after then no... wait till you meet her in person

[Asker]

That’s so long away.

[NathanDavis]

just text her then, and talk things through, with her

[serious]

Yes even after months if nothing has happened then she sees you only as friends.

[djfhsjk]

I feel like you should be able to tell after that long

[TheSpaceGnome]

Regardless of the truth, if it were me, I'd assume she wasn't interested and move on.

[Wise4myage]

Not necessarily, just ask her how feels about you romantically. If you've already done that, than you are just friends.

[Anonymous]

Why the hell didn't you make something happen a LONG time ago? Why didn't you ask for a date? Why didn't you go for a kiss?

[Anonymous]

They're weak, so you have to ask. It's that simple. Worst case scenario you end up where you started.

[princeofromance]

I learned this the hard way. I stayed for far too long. Move on, there are other fish in the sea.

[Alpha4U]

True. you either have your shot from the start or gtfo

[Anonymous]

she might like you but not be sure if you like her and she doesn't want to be embarresed if you don't

[lorenzomichael]

You have to try getting with her. If not fuck it

[msc545]

True - you have been friendzoned.