Being a former nice guy, I can confirm this. It happens because girls tend to want a thrill, to be excited by the guy they are with. Nice guy's tend to be boring, safe, and predictable. Until the woman gets it out of her system and wants something realistic, it ain't gonna happen... Also, the jerk/bad boy has that element of mystery/danger/thrill so it's more attractive at the time, and the woman thinks she can change him (she can't, history has proven that, and no one changes unless they themselves want to...) or "tame" him. I blame romance novels and movies and such, they give an unrealistic portrayal of romance and love and teach the wrong expectations and standards. The phrase, "Nice guys finish last," comes to mind. The phrase has multiple meanings... If you want the girl, you got to have a dark side to some extent or some kind of mystery or thrill to ya. Most women say that they want a nice guy, but what they mean is that they want someone who can be dark/mysterious/dangerous with her, but safe/stable as far as society is concerned and treats her like a princess/queen/goddess...
Yes , I speak from experience and the only reason I claim to be a nice guy is cause Girls rejected me for being a nice guy. So not self proclaiming.
It is like this for me when I meet a New girl I instantly know if I wanna give it a shot. So I try to get to know her better and flirt with her while simultanuosly creating a bond and then when think she is a genuine nice girl I ask her on a date. Mostly I then get the answer we are too good of friends to be risking it with dating or the nice guy line or even worse the brother line.
Then the 3 times it did work cause I got cheated on, replaced and ghosted.
The first cheated on me with a guy that stalked her an asshole
The 2nd replaced me with a dude when I was Just accepting to meet one of her friends cause why not he was a douche and had all her attention when she was my girlfriend we broke up that night
And the 3rd kept kissing me the whole night Just to never talk to me again starting the next day all her attention went to her guy best friend from then she didn't even want to date.
@friendzoned4life. The problem is that your approach lacks any "danger" or "intrigue" which women crave. Women call this "confidence" but it's more than that, it's about not giving a fuck what she thinks. In the immortal words of Jimi Hendrix in Red House, "If she won't love me no more, I know her sister will"!
@friendzoned4life. Remember, women don't know WTF they want so it's not worth your time to ask them. Women will talk all kinds of shit about wanting a "nice guy, blah, blah, blah" ... what they really want is a guy who is not afraid to WALK away from them when their bullshit gets too deep. They want what they can't have or what they might lose... if they know they have it for good, they lose interest.
Women are most concerned with a man's status and looks. These high-value men know they can have any woman they want so they treat them pretty roughly... and the women ear it up.
I Am not changing for anyone I trained myself to not text anymore as soon as she doesn't respond the moment she reads it.
But if I am not allowed to be a good guy and be myself she don't deserve me
Not gonna put up an act to to get someone in bed I go for this approach I have cause first girlfriend failed miserably and I want a woman for the long term till death do us apart
And what I consider A high value men that is a men Who stands for what he believes.
A men that treats thr woman he loves as a Princess Makes sacrifisis to spent time with his children.
A Man that is desired by a lot of woman doesn't make him high value. Cause most of that women only want his Dick
The one guy that has the balls to put himself in the position as described above again and again until the right one comes along that is what I call a man
Cause a real man wants 1 woman for the rest of his life
Just from the messages I've seen on here women really seem to be attracted to jerks.
I see numerous posts about girls taking about their cheating partner. Others voice concerns and doubts about what the guy truly means when it's obvious there is no hidden meaning. Then there are the posts that ask of they should stay with a guy who is clearly abusive or a degenerate. Posts like "my boyfriend is going to jail should i wait?" or my boyfriend beats me should I call the cops?"
Self proclaimed nice guys aren’t actually nice guys. They’re the dudes who feel entitled to a woman just because they give her some compliments. Plus, they shower girls with compliments not to genuinely compliment, but for something back. Not very nice guy of them, is it?
Yes and no. there's a huge difference between a good man and a nice guy. Most of these self proclaimed "nice guys" tend to be boring, not confident, unattractive, and not that nice to beginning with. They think they are entitled to a relationship or sex with a girl just because he's nice to her. Real nice guys don't expect anything in return. Girls most of the time can see right through that, and can spot the difference between a genuinely good man and a nice guy. Most girls like these "jerks" because they tend to be handsome, confident, and who knows maybe some of those guys are actually good men. I know this is just on tv but there's been plenty of instances where the nice guy got the girl he wanted like Ross Geller got Rachel, Dan Humphrey got Serena, and Cory got Topanga. Who knows if this happens in real life or not but maybe it did.
Yes. There's a big difference between 'nice', and 'kind'. Girls see right through NICE - they know you just want in their panties. No, women want to be entertained, humored, and their brains fucked out. If you're weak and nice it's a giant turn off. You need some game. And you need a man-makeover. And NEVER put a woman on a pedestal. EVER. They will instantly lose respect for you. Women absolutely loathe weak men.
Niceness comes off as unconfident and wimpy. Being a jerk isn't always attractive to women, but confidence is more attractive to them than being a jerk is unattractive. In other words, being nice/mean is 100% irrelevant to women. Confidence is what matters above all else, regardless of how they treat others. It's just that confidence, most of the time, means coming off inconsiderate to others (either unintentionally or intentionally).
I don't know. I'm not a massive jerk just as I'm not mellifluously nice. I tend to neutrality in every behaviour of mine and being balanced brought me many benefits through my life. Maybe it's time to stop trying to be part of a group and be more like you're supposed to be.
I put down yes but I wanted to place a yes & no answer.
It's important to fall for a jerk. Not necessary but it helps girls discover what a true dumbass won't do for her. That way, they can know what a true gentleman is.
No it's just an excuse guys use to blame other people rather than examining their own faults. If a girl is choosing a complete jerk over you it's not because she likes jerks it's because your an even bigger one.
@jerdanro Exactly. I just love how they try to shift blame and ignoring the fact that the 'nice guy' is simply not turning them on. Any guy with sufficient experience in dating knows this
You just aren't a nice guy if you constantly post stuff like this, this isn't difficult. Besides some girls like what they like and a guy being a "jerk" may just be your pent up rage that you aren't with that girl. Look at yourself a little please.
Actually a lot of times women do go for jerks, and 9,999,999 times out of 10,000,000, it's because those women are also jerks, so they have a hard time spotting jerk behavior because they think it's normal.
The way it really works is the nice guy loves the IDEA of the girl, not the actual girl as an individual, he assumes the jerk is jerk, when the “jerk” really might have a lot of redeeming qualities, and the “nice guy” is himself a fucking piece of shit human with nothing to offer in a relationship.
It’s actually a good example because the nice guy comes with roses, it knowing what flower is actually the girls favourite, or if she likes flowers at all, the. He expects a blow job just because he bought flowers, then calls her a fucking bitch and a slut for not sucking his dick...
yeah, up to a certain age, it does, cause guess what: girls have to learn how to find "good partners" like men do by trial and error. and there's definitely loads of guys running after the wrong girls as well.
It is true for a lot of Girls and Guys but most Girls won't know they are dating a jerk until it's too late because most jerks will lie first up but that lie will only last so long and there true colours show and usually the nice Guy or shy Guy watches from afar helpless to do anything because the last thing they want to do is make her upset and force her to do anything.
I like to add to this when that relation with the jerk goes to shit it is the genuine nice guy that is the one that is asked for emotional support 90% of the time.
The process repeats multiple times and the nice guy comes to the conclusion you need to be a jerk to have a girlfriend
Every guy would be a jerk if it really works it like that but for some reason these so called jerks are handsome. So girls who date mainly date these guys for their looks like rich guys who date pretty golddiggers women for their looks
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Asker
+1 y
Being a jerk is a talent or something that happens natural.
Bullshit. Jerks attract jerks anyway. Girls who date these guys ain't better and they crazy. So who cares. Have you ever seen a woman above 25 with a proper job who is settled with life? It is mostly some young immature crazy girls who date these guys. Find a mature woman
A lot of the time. But the reasons go deeper than that. There are underlying conditions for everything.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
This is how it works for most nice guys. I'm not a nice guy, and I see it all of the time. A lot of men are unable to admit that though, and will default to blaming everything on the guy as you've already seen in the comments from the blues so far.
Everyone who fancys someone who fancys someone else looks for reasons why, typically being "I'm nicer than him therefore she doesn't like nice guys" or something similar
Honestly, I'm not dtf, told my friends I'd have been happy to jut go on a picnic, get soem dating experience, somd female companionship dosnt got to be sex, but thing is not chasing it just seems to make it harder,
Not the case. Girls are attracted to confidence. There are many nice guys that girls love, who are charming and good looking and smart. The "nice guy" you're talking about here are the guys with no confidence, where you can smell their neediness.
I think this should be MHO, because it is most helpful. Although, allow me to rephrase the point for guys to understand. Nice guys tend to be less confident than jerks because nice guys are considerate of others. Girls are into assertive personalities even when they're jerks. That's how it is. And just for the record, I am nice and inconfident myself though still working on it.
Neediness and that's why they are pretending to be nice. They're here to exploit you especially if you're an empathetic woman. They usually have a lot of shady secrets.
Wrong. I have seen high quality women marry jackasses plenty of times, than complain that he is a jackass.
-He was a jackass when you met him. -He was a jackass when you started dating/fucking him. -He was a jackass when you agreed to marry him. -He was a jackass when you started having kids with him.
Than one day she wakes up and says "my husband is a jackass"! No shit lady. #NoSpathy.
it can happen have you ever heard of pick up artist? they are men who learned the art of physiological manipulation to seduce women , their best target are usually women with low esteem
No friend. What you described in that image is only infactuation not love.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Not if you find grown up women rather than chasing girls Or maybe it's my confidence or just my ability to not give a fuck or even the streak of me that can be an utter bastard at times
For ages 18-32ish yes but after age 32 the nice guys check out of the market and just enjoy other things in life
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I'm so tired of seeing this girls hate nice guys and only want jerks. Not fucking true! We just want a guy thats interesting, not so needy and doesn't look like hangman
I'm not annoyed over a question on a website lol. It just gets asked all the time, and it's just one of those things that was brought to the world by film industry and that people actually believe
Where did wizards come from? Where did dragons and fairies come from? Because it isn't real life. Some things are just imagination. It's probably derived from the saying "opposites attract", and taken a lot overboard
Is it really over simplification? In my youth, I was handsome and intelligent. Blessed with genetically good looks, I never found getting females to approach me. I just lack the predator mindset. I just want to. treat them like queens. This was a problem because most women are leary of chivalry.
Was I nice because I was a doormat? No! Did I lack confidence? Yes and no! Was I needy? Heck nawl! I just grew up watching the dating life of someone I love. She experience heartbreak after heartbreak! I promised myself, I would never become that kind of man. I was not needy. Trim came to me! I was just sensitive to women needs. My brothers were the jerks. It was nothing to have 3 to 4 women fight over my siblings.
Today, I am a bit reformed. I learned balance. I am still nice but with a twist of nastiness. As a old cusromer said, " yo ass sexy with your mean ass." I am not mean but assertive, loyal, strong and straightforward. You know you are loved but I take no mess. I want you but don't need. you...
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