Are you scared of being single forever?

[Anonymous]

I’m not afraid if I’m fated to stay single forever. But I had a bad relationship with my ex that’s probably why I preferred single life. I can still be a happy, healthy single. Honestly I don’t know which one is more suitable for me... a married life or single life? I love freedom, and I want to spend less money because I loved going on a budget. I want to travel anywhere I want without being tied down by other things. I want to spend more time with family and friends. I’m happiest when I’m doing yoga, working out, reading fanfics about hot male fictional characters especially R-rated novels. I hate spending way too much money. I wouldn’t go for a Chanel bag I would rather spend $100-$400 on a handbag than $1000-$10,000 on one bag. I loved items on sales like electronics, fashion, toiletries, soaps, snacks. I loved museums, gardens, events, theme parks and going to supermarkets to buy me snacks. So yeah which is more suitable for me? Single life or married life? And yes I’m kinda afraid of raising kids because I’m scared of them growing up to be very rebellious or spoilt. I would rather stay fit and weigh the same than gain extra 3 kg.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Scared implies I have lost hope in finding someone, so no.

You should pick single life though, you view marriage as a prison, and no sane man wants a woman who spends 100 bucks on a bag, or thinks she can't be married without ending up with kids, or that she would have to give up her freedom.

[Asker]

Can I still have some freedom if I don’t end up single?

[TheSpaceGnome]

you can retain all the freedom (except doing sexual or flirty things with other guys), relationships are a commitment, not a prison.

[Asker]

Will I be able to travel to any place I want with my future partner and a child?

[TheSpaceGnome]

with a child? no. without one, yeah.

[Asker]

Maybe If I spend things on a tight budget it might be possible but I won’t get to travel every year. Maybe every 5-7 years it’s possible. I don’t mind sacrificing some things for a guy I love but I hope he’s willing to do the same too. I don’t mind staying faithful to him. But I’m not really sure about the future so I just wait and see

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's not a budget issue (also I don't think you understand what budgeting is, even your lowest budget remark on that handbag was 100 bucks, budgeting is spending 5 bucks on a cheap one at a fleamarket and using it for 10 years).

Kids need to have friends, kids go to school, kids can't be in certain places, and you can't just drag them all over the place constantly. financially speaking, you could probably do a vacation 3 times a year with kids and be fine if your willing to spend that much on a bag.

[MCheetah]

No, I've accepted it. Women nowadays are entitled AF and demand perfection in men. They themselves aren't worth such entitlement. I'd still like to have a partner, but I accept that my ideal of a partner is a woman that doesn't exist in the real world: loving, kind, nonjudgmental, and supportive.

[Asker]

Good women and men are very hard to find

[MCheetah]

True. But at least women usually don't have to do the chasing and impressing.

[MrOracle]

All that is fine, but without a family to take care of you in old age, you're going to need to have a ton of money saved up to ensure that you don't end up out on the streets.

Assuming you retire at 65, and you live to 85, and you don't have major illnesses, you're going to need to have over $2M (in today's money) to get you through that 20 years.

This means you need to be putting $500 per month in a retirement account, and that amount will increase annually. Heaven help you if you need medical care without family to look out for you.

When you are young, it's easy not to think or act on this, but the consequences are very real. Today, women only make up 20% of homeless (up from 6% in the 80s), but that number is set to explode as far more women of my generation stayed single to focus on career and travel, but are finding their jobs harder and harder to manage and are looking to retire. Huge numbers of these women are just starting to learn that they're going to have to keep working well into their 70s just to survive.

If you are going to stay single, then I recommend that you speak with a retirement specialist regularly and make your retirement fund a very high priority. Spending your final years living in a car or tent is no way to live.

[Cybermetal93]

Wth are you talking about lol. You don't need 2 million to live alone. If living alone, you need to split between food, rent (no need if you already have a house), and bills. Thats averaging at least 1k per month so 12,000 - 20,000 per year. Other necessities would be car payments, clothes, and anything else. Most people are capable of living on their own till retire I don't know what the fuck you're talking about

[Cybermetal93]

*most people are capable of living on their own if they have a job

[MrOracle]

@Cybermetal93

20 years (65 to 85) at $50,000 per year is $1M, and as you get older and have health issues, $50K a year is nothing. When you're retired, you're not going to have the awesome medical coverage you might have when you're with a big company at 40, so you're going to have to pay for private insurance, PLUS you're going to have to deal with co-pays. Should you need to be in an assisted living facility, around where I live, a crappy place is $6,000/month, and a decent place is $9-10,000/month.

When you're older, you don't have the luxury of going without important things, or not being able to pay your bills, or you will quickly be out on the streets.

Seriously, you don't need to believe me. Find yourself a financial planner that specializes in retirement planning, and see what they say. Sit down with them for 30 minutes and LISTEN. Or go on YouTube and look up retirement planning and listen to about 10 different people of your choice, so you get lots of different opinions. See what they say. From the sound of it, I suspect you haven't thought a lot about your future needs, and are likely in for some sticker shock.

[Bean2thousand]

You talk like you're just going to have $2M nest egg and live off of that for 20 years, which is how financial planners make their money. In reality, you can buy enough income-generating assets with less money than that to have an income when you retire, if you know what you're doing.

[MrOracle]

@Bean2thousand You CAN, especially if you're younger, but as you get older, a lot of people start to lose their ability to manage their money properly, or manage their investments. I went through that with both sets of grandparents. The younger grandfather was an excellent investor, but by the time he was in his 80s, he was spending money like crazy and no one knew it, and he wasn't dealing with his investments, and probably lost $1-200,000 by making poor decisions (he signed up for a 25-year solar lease when he was 88 - that ended up being a $35,000 loss right there). My mother ended up having to get power of attorney for him, but she needed help from me to manage things.

Anyway, you can believe what you like, but the consequences of getting it wrong are HUGE! You can speak to a financial planner without having to use them to invest, and they'll still help explain what so many of their older customers are facing, and why. Having gone through it up-close with a number of relatives, I can tell you that, for a few, if they didn't have family, they could have easily died alone in the street.

[zagor]

@Cybermetal93 Wow, glad you can get by on $20K per year where you live. My rent is a couple thou under 30K per year.

[MrOracle]

@zagor Not only that, but your rent can be expected to increase every year or couple of years, so if you're paying $28k/year now, in 20 years, you could easily be paying $45-50k/year. And that's just rent. Consider all the costs of an elderly person, who may need 20 or 30 years of income to cover not just basic survival, but also medical costs - which tend to balloon at those ages - and other potential care. If you can't live with family, most people will need assisted living, and that's SUPER expensive.

[Cybermetal93]

@zagor It depends on state and location. Some of the cheapest apartments I live in you can get by 20k. I live in NJ. New York you need at least like 50- 60k for living in an apartment included food and other expenses.

[Cybermetal93]

*some of the cheapest apartments in the state I live in

[Pummel]

I work under the table when I need to.. Also the God of Abraham will provide.. We are in the last days

[OlderAndWiser]

The "problem" with your plan is that I don't see how you account for aging and the changes that will bring to your life.

[VanillaSalt]

I wonder if it’s possible to teach these women their beauty, fertility, and values going down as they get older. I also wonder if to get wives men will resort to being capt save a hoe to some 40 year old woman and her 3 kids. I think ide rather suffer alone to taking on a whole family I didn’t even create.

[ohshee]

Wow and how old are you you kind of sound very very mature, and it sounds like all mapped out. That's very impressive and I like your honesty I really don't think that you will be single forever. This is just a moment in time for you that's all you go through many more of them you might think it's forever but it's just a moment in time in 10 years from now five years from now to years from now you we'll look back at it and understand what I mean it's just a moment in time I'm single too and I feel the same way you do but I know I know it's a moment in time you're the type of person I would love to meet at a train or something going someplace and have a very beautiful experience with you sound smart intelligent and you know what you want and you're honest about it as I read your post I could try to picture you are a book written about you traveling on a train and your experiences I would have to say it's very very beautiful it was rushing through my head so I say smile never give up because the guy for you is just around the corner remember when things like this happen it's not forever it's just a moment in time

[Pummel]

Nope not at all.. You may call bovine excretion and I wouldn't blame you... I always knew that I would be alone (abused from the 6th to the 8th grade) for the bulk of my life. In my 20's I was angry about it but I did fall in love once, and I loved her more than oxygen itself, but I was damaged goods and she after two years called it quits..
I was a front man for a late 90's early 2000's hardcore band... And because of my past I didn't know how to express my love, I was selfish, I was frightened in the bedroom plus hiding my substance problems...

In all that I haven't had a relationship or relations with a woman in 13 years or so... It was not until a year and a half ago that I started reading the KJV bible... The God of Abraham and His Son Christ love me and that is plenty enough for me...
Guess what I am trying to say is try not to put your faith into another human being, not saying that people are all bad but in my experience I have found that if a person does not have that character of Christ (not the so called Christian churches of the world) they will let you down

[CaptainOverthink]

Yes. I am.
I am not a type of person that does well alone even though I have made it this far, practically in one piece.

I have a deep yearning to surround myself with good friends that care. And that's making life lots more worth living. But it's not enough. And as I'm racing through life becoming older I fear the lonelyness ahead.

Friends will get families and be unavailable. I will get new ones as I am always expanding my circle but my life in contrast to others is an existential issue of mine still.
Working on having it removed but it's a very natural thing.

But I think working on my life as a focus and having a moderate to good life either way might get me more than I am barganing for. Keep working my career for now, then I will use that money to cultivate myself and to make more.

Peace, out.

[Cybermetal93]

No i'm not scared of being single forever. If it's meant to be that way and it happens that way so be it. I find the company of myself to be of great pleasure and I enjoy being in solitude. If I could live as a monk finding inner peace with myself I would, but being single allows you to do that. You get to know who you are and depend on yourself. You get to do what you want to do in life without any disturbances and obstacles. Of course being married is also great, but you're life is split between two people at first and then again multiple times with children. You can't focus on just you, you have to focus on other people and thats why being single is great.

[Qdbrown]

When you're under 30, not a big deal. If still single after 35, your chances go way up. You can find love in those later years, but it will get more challenging as a woman gets older.

There is myth going around that love always finds a way and 70 year old people are still finding love. In some cases yes, but most don't as they get older. People get set in their ways. People get locked into their life.

Truth is, if you want a husband, kids and the whole package for whatever it's worth, don't wait to make that happen. Don't wait out looking for the prize. Look for best guy that actually compliments you. Not some great-looking rich guy. Find a guy who is totally into you, has his life together and only has eyes for you, that are not creepy.

Live good, do your best, don't worry about impressing no one but yourself and those closest to you.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

It's a choice anyways you can do all of that being jn relationship or not being In one it's just preference to lead your life.

Being in relationship fills the gap inside your heart there is craving for companionship and it isn't that you couldn't lead happy single life but you you will always feel left out of somethings.

Being in relationship with right person could make life happier bc you get some support and you know this person would be there for you no matter what.

Now that doesn't mean you will never fight or argue things will get worse sometimes but if you built a bond then you will over come it and become partners who will help resolve each others problems or help to do so.

Humans are codependent, if you are not going to have a partner you will be dependent on someone else

[Sublime45]

No I am not necessarily afraid of being single forever, for me it's a kind of a non-issue.. the way I look at it is if I'm never married or have a partner then I can save more money and do things that I want to do in my life, I won't have to sit down and make a compromise with my potential wife about things I want to do. The freedom of just being able to get up and go wherever I want without telling her would be amazing.

Of course I would want partners and stuff but I don't think I would ever go the marriage route anyway.

[Honesttguy]

I think there difference single and alone, many people expierence loniness which is just painful.
Being single going getting laid when you need definitely seems way to go. Free to do whatever, perfect. Especially for a guy.
As for female with years coming, I do have to warn you, guys value looks in female highly. And females have menopause where they lose ability to have child.
Lets imagine your 50 year old single lady, how does that life looks, can you imagine good scenarious for yourself? You can still travel do whatever you want but ability to lay down a guy for night have definitely changed, all attention goes to young ones, how would you overcome this obstacle for yourself?

[Asker]

I’m not into hook ups or short term relationships. As long as I have friends, co workers and lead a peaceful life that’s good enough for me. I don’t really care if guys will notice me or not, I usually get creeped out if people stare at me. Even if my looks fade I will never crave attention from men. Since I was 13 till now I never dress up in ways to get guys to notice me, yes I sometimes do get guys noticing me but it gets annoying. I dress up for myself

[Honesttguy]

Well you do get same happy chemicals from friends and chocolate. So I guess if you dont want sexual pleasure expierence and orgasms, then your good.

[Asker]

If I want my sexual needs fulfilled I can read R rated novels from Wattpad

[Asker]

Would you get upset if you find out you’re meant to be single?

[Honesttguy]

Well I would expierence sadness yes. Its like suddenly have to die sooner than expected. Similarly sad expierence.

[Asker]

For me I have to be prepared for two things... it’s either to be single forever or married for life. I hate getting attention from guys in school it’s so annoying and unnecessary. The only guy I want attention from is my future boyfriend or I can read Wattpad where the hot guy gives me attention. Levi Ackerman and Shoto are so hot 😍

[Honesttguy]

Well I guess that's a downside for being a female guys will give you attention. Learning how to handle that would improve situation.
Nature programmed us that way its hard to fight back thousands of years evolutionary instinct. Sorry for that, it is gonna happen.

[CallmeTheKnight]

No. Youu should never be afraid of something such as that. In this day and age, many people will be alone because of how they Carry themselves. There's already a rise of ego and a lot of women will die alone because they're too stuck on trying to get the man with the most.

On the other hand, some men are just darn monsters and will be in a hospital bed with no one to comfort them.

Being single is a part of life. Whether it's for a few years or decades, you need to make the most of it. Many people, especially those that are 18-24 aren't actually ready for relationships and make compromises for it.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Kinda. I don't necessarily want to be single forever. I just want a loving partner, kids and a loving home in the future.

If love happens to not come my way, then there's no helping it. If love isn't suitable for me, I might as well be single forever.
If that ever happens, I wouldn't be sad nor begging nor desperate. I can actually find happiness without needing anyone to love.

[MotorcycleMan]

Not at all. I am perfectly capable of being an entirely whole human being all by myself. What if you got married, but lived in separate houses? lol
I have always enjoyed my freedom too, and so often you end up with someone who want to make it all about them. Hey, I'll always compromise to a point, but all too often it gets excessive. It's your life, you should be able to live it how you want it and have fun doing what you love to do. A good partner will support and encourage that.

[ForeverSingle1977]

I have been single for over 24 years and I can say NO. When you get more comfortable with yourself there is a sense of inner peace you dont get with dating as at the start emotions get in the way. This inner peace can't be taken away by being in love or break up. If you have that then will be no fear. Inner peace is self acceptence.

[Alyssa11]

I am definitely afraid but I also know I am secure when it comes to wanting a relationship and what I want out of a relationship. I have pure good intentions only, so in that regard I'm not too worried or concerned about being single forever. I know I'll commit to someone on the same page as me someday because I am in a good place with a good heart.

[VanillaSalt]

I’m 33 in a good place with a good heart and it’s not that simple. Sorry but so many of you are going to rightfully suffer because of your refusal to be better. Men too.

[Anonymous]

That's my biggest anxiety.
There are 7 billion people, lets say 3.5 male and 3.5 female (roughly)
Then 27million gay, lesbians, etc.
Then half of it is under age or over age.
Then there are differences in language, interests, attractiveness, expectations, etc.
Then it comes to final some acceptable conditions like religion, caste, vegan etc.
I know it not perfect but we also lose many people daily,
And gain some too but the ratio was really on its way to red half.
Well this world we live in is very small.
That to I live in India, a country where religion, caste, what you eat , what you worship is monitored.
This all are the things you have to consider when you don't have any attractive features like money, looks, personality, and many more.




Yes I am f*cking scared of being single forever.
I am so scared that I can't sleep in peace.

[Rok4bakAR]

Just remember a single woman is a miserable woman.
A single guy is a happy guy.


We need sex relationship is a girl who just decided to stick around long enough for us to stay with them.


Women have horrible keeping skills.
And with our idiotic internet social media retarded Tiktok world that girls are married to their phones.


Things aren’t look good for humanity.
Japan is advancing with her sex robot extremely fast!


Soon men will go out of their ways to avoid sex with the hottest girls.

[Qdbrown]

That's happening very quickly. To humanity's detriment.

[kamalravi25]

We all have fears.
Staying single is also a choice you made out of fear.
A fear of losing your freedom, comfort zone.
I know this because i have the same fear and i am still afraid that being into a relationship will cause me lose all my freedom and life comfort.

[Dchrls78104]

I understand and agree. I feel the same way.

[Jersey2]

It’s funny that you say you want to spend more time with family and friends. Your family will die off and friends become less and less in your 30s onward. Just ask someone in their 40s about how many people they consider good friends. I have travelled the world and it is interesting but children are the best.

It’s hard today to find someone I am sure. Find someone and after 4 years if it’s going well you might want to take the plunge.

[Anon621]

No I have found a lot of self peace and independence since I have been single for a long time and to be honest I think you get used to it and you just start growing so much inner peace that you don't really feel scared you just feel lonely when you think about it too much usually and then move on.