Do I need to do these things to attract men?

Question

I’m slightly overweight girl in her mid 20s. I wouldn’t say I am overly successful but I am a young rookie with a decent career. I’m average to cute / pretty in looks. I’ve Done a lot of online dating in the past and I've had a lot of men fall for me. But many Of whom I couldn’t return feelings for. But in summary, Men like me.

i was just talking to a guy who said that I needed to work on myself before he could introduce me to a guy ( he’s assuming that no guy would want me because I am not your typical skinny Barbie girl who paints her nails and acts super girly). He told me to diet , detox, paint my nails , go completely bare in my privates cus nobody wants to have sex with a girl with hair down there.

He says that all women want to get manicures / pedicures because They want to attract men. And that men spend a lot of money on expensive cars and workout at the gym a lot in order to get women.

but in all honesty, it seems quite shallow and TOXIC. Though I am all about looking better , I’m not the type of person who would go to the extreme extent To pay for Weekly manicures or act fake girly to attract men. I am a carefree person who enjoys being genuinely myself. I can imagine that people like that are toxic because there will always be someone prettier than you. There will always be someone with a nicer car than yours. We can’t just put a value on our dating worth based on cars or looks.

Who is right in this case?

JackSmy · Accepted Answer

Sounds like that guy was just being an asshole!!
When I meet women, and we start dating, it is because, for me, at least, that I LIKE WHO SHE IS!!
If we laugh, and have a great time talking, together, that's the best start!!
Then, if we like the same foods, or some of the same foods, but have some others, that might be better, because sharing those "other" ones, can make for some great dates!!
If she cooks, then SOOO much better, and we can share that!!
Hobbies, and interests, and sharing some, but having others, unknown to the other, to share, is intriguing, and exciting!
I think you are thinking about the wrong kinds of guys!!

Lenolye · Accepted Answer

You don't need to do anything you don't want to.

In fact the more you do that is against your nature the more likely to doom relationships you are. Just be you.

Really it sounds like this friend is an ass.

One thing that also stood out was the grooming. That's bullshit. As long as it's groomed in some way and not a mess then it's fine. Half the fun of seeing a girl without bottoms is to see how she keeps things.

Be you so the guys you meet fall for you and not a lie you have created.

Anonymous · Answer

Literally never heard a straight guy talk about a woman's manicure. I mean I believe that those guys exist but that's a classic thing that women care about and men don't.

if you're slightly overweight you can probably find guys to date but sure being not overweight would significantly improve your options.

"detoxing" isn't even a real goddamn thing.

as for pubic hair I don't know bare seems very popular in your age range. I prefer hair myself but you know I'm old. Id tidy it up which I think most of us do, doesn't need to be bare if you don't want to be.

Quidthonian · Answer

I don't mind slightly overweight, as weight can be taken off successfully via a disciplined lifestyle. I am looking for a non-smoker which is not negotiable. I am quite firm on no tattoos and no piercings except for ear lobes. My personal preference is for shaven genitals. Painted nails I don't care about. I would want a girl with intelligence and self-confidence. She needs to have a good work ethic and not be a gold digger. I want someone balanced; someone who will understand my introverted nature and whims. I am not shy about on-line contact through private messaging.

cth96190 · Answer

He is correct.
Lose weight, join a gymnasium and get in shape (use a personal trainer to help you, especially sculpting your leg muscles), have all your body hair below the neck lasered (that includes your crotch).
No man wants to have sex with Chewbacca's sister, unless he is a hippie who has a weird hairy fetish.

Bright_blue_eyes · Answer

Ok.. I'll admit I do like the skinny girls with great hair and manicures, but... That guy sounds like a fool. His advice sounds selfish and misdirected. He just wants to introduce his friends to Barbie. I'd say dismiss that guy was an idiot. Next, you sound smart, and it doesn't sound like you have any trouble capturing the hearts of men. My advice would be to not let your weight get out of control. As you age, it only gets worse so address it sooner than later. You'll be happy you did.

sullyk1234 · Answer

a lot of men today like plain jane girls the one that are plain no makeup having a guy tell you that i would tell him to f off everyone has there own beauty dont be something you are not for a man i found out the hard way take care of yourself because when it comes down to it you matter he doesn't you will find a man good luck and god bless

exitseven · Answer

I agree with you. My mother used to tell me that a girl would not want to go out with me because I drove a pickup truck. My opinion was that any girl that would not go out with me because of what I drove is not the kind of girl I would want to get involved with.
If you do all this superficial stuff you will end up wit ha superficial guy.

Anonymous · Answer

Girl I don’t paint my nails neither do I do my hair (weaves, wigs). Of course I take care of myself but I like my natural nails and my natural hair. I’m also average looking, my go to style is a t-shirt and jeans but every time I step out men stare at me. You don’t have to do all that if you don’t want to. I’d say have your own style, don’t copy those of your friends or influencers on YouTube. You’ll stand out more that way. Just make sure they fit nicely. Not too tight or too loose.

Jessica405 · Answer

He is talking bullshit. He is only saying what HE thinks guys want. You already know you are attractive to guys, so be whatever you want to be. The right guy will come along. Just be ready to grab him before he slips through your fingers.

Saul_Goodman · Answer

I am quite sure that you will find someone who will consider you as the most beautiful girl in the universe. Just be yourself.

Everyone likes something different a everyone is attracted to different type of person. He was spoking about what the most of the guys like. And if you want to have the biggest chance to find someone who will find you attractive and you him too, then you could do what he said. It's up on you. But remember, that people will not forgive one thing - unoriginality.

Anonymous · Answer

No, only to attract scummy men. Real men prefer bigger girls so weight is not the issue. Sometimes a woman that is too career focused can be a turn off though, so be mindful of how you present that.

Anonymous · Answer

The distinction is sex vs relationships. Sex is like tap water for women, but many are dehydrated when it comes to relationships...

bowenw · Answer

You should be true to yourself and just be yourself.

DWornock · Answer

His opinions are not rare but he is in a small minority. Maybe 10% and less than 20%.

2021biguy · Answer

It good to try to make ourselves better but you don't have to be a super model.

Anonymous · Answer

What you need to do is work on your entitled attitude. That is your biggest deficit.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with you. He just wants you to conform to his desires.

anylolone · Answer

In this case you are both wrong.

Do I need to do these things to attract men?

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