Is it worth having a conversation with my live in ex boyfriend about why we broke up?

[Anonymous]

he's not speaking to me at all... I broke up with him yesterday about a girl in his phone he was texting during a family event and his whole mood changed... i asked him whose he texting and he said just family and looking at pictures... and when I brought the girls name up after we left the event he denied EVERYTHING... and was trembling a bit too... a few hours later I called him and he was so mad a bit after, said I was mentally sick, I'm seeing things and all this crap calling me a bitch and that i was the one who was actually cheating cause I always accuse him of cheating... lol..(I'm not).. I'm perfectly fine I'm not hallucinating.. I just think God has my back.

[ohshee]

Well I think you need to take a deep breath I never really think about what you really want I know you're trying to help him out probably but it's the same time what's your agenda with that are you trying to get back with him because if you are it's not going to work you guys have too much water under the bridge you're always going to be jealous and you're going to say things to piss him off and he is never going to be honest with you and turn around and blame it on you so you really have to figure out what you want to do this pretended he got a girlfriend right now would you be okay with him bringing her over to the house

[dileep85]

No, if it’s brokeup and you don’t have to open up the wound again if you’re over him. If not you can talk. You’ll have to see except both it may bring down the emotional stuffs or it be a pleasant outcome of mind freeness. Anything can happen.

[Asker]

Is being defensive an indicator of lying.. or feeling guilty?

[dileep85]

According to me it’s Feeling guilty. Time is the best medicine for this kind of problem. Get a new hobby ease your brain. You’ll have different opinions on this same matter after a year. If you’ve same opinion on this matter even after a year. Good patch with him. Or else letting it go if the best thing for you.

[Asker]

We live together.. so yourself saying letting it go?

[dileep85]

Don’t talk about it for now. You can see a therapist to get this bad stuffs out of your mind. Talking about it to him will bring no good to your relationship i think.

[Asker]

I see my therapist tomorrow... but we are talking today cause im impatient lol

[dileep85]

That’s the tricky part. No one has patience when it comes to emotional stuffs. That’s why I told early “Time is the best medicine “ when it comes to emotional problems. Just hang in there. Everything will be fine :)

[kyleelyn199723]

Not worth it. He’s lying to your face about who this girl is and accusing you of cheating. He’s in denial. I would only be up to conversation if he actually told the truth and admitted. Time to break up

[pleasestopthis]

No, it isn't worth it. Just leave him alone and stay away from him.

[Asker]

Am I in the wrong?

[pleasestopthis]

No, he's just gaslighting you. And calling names isn't justified here, he was just being defensive. It's a pity you're living under the same roof.

[Asker]

Is being defensive mean he's lying or guilty of something

[pleasestopthis]

yep, as someone who got nothing to hide wouldn't react that way

[thathonestman]

Getting defensive and name calling is always the first sign of guilt. Having a conversation is useless because that’s just an invitation to be lied to again.

Work toward ridding yourself of this relationship and move on with your life.

[LonelyDeer]

I don't think so. It doesn't seem like he will compromise or change his stance on it. Another conversation sounds like a certain argument with nothing to gain aside from pain.

[Alejandro3000]

Instead of her contemplating moving out, she's thinking of talking to him again because she self sabotaged and knows it. Lol love the part where he called her a bitch, deserved.

[Asker]

@Alejandro3000 I'm actually talking to him to break up...

[Asker]

And all he did was gaslight me. I know what I saw ur toxic

[Alejandro3000]

you've already broken up! Why you breaking up with him again? A crazy person judging others 🤣

[Asker]

@Alejandro3000 true... he told me I have some time to tell him if I still want him or not. So the balls in my court now

[Alejandro3000]

Just leave him already, you've done enough damage as it is.

[Asker]

@Alejandro3000 I will

[Alejandro3000]

Good gooood 😂😂😂

[Alejandro3000]

oh no he texted another girl, must be cheating right? smh
You broke his heart by not trusting him and within minutes breaking up with him. You expect him to talk to you? leave him alone let him get over you and move on. He'll find someone better who will love him.

[Asker]

Idc if he texts or talks or hangout with other woman, but why lie and hide it? He will never find someone better than me

[Alejandro3000]

lol more like he'll never find someone worse

[Asker]

You dont know me fuck off

[Alejandro3000]

Leave him alone control freak

[Alejandro3000]

you should consider reasons why he was talking to another girl, something's missing from you obviously. Instead of talking calmly and openly about your own relationship and where things are lacking, you were instead immediately confrontational and had him go on the defensive then used that against him to break up. You're still trying to have a go at him by claiming he's lying or guilty and that you're not in the wrong. Think about it, would it be like this if your relationship with him was strong?

[Asker]

We might actually stay together... I don't know

[Asker]

Yea the whole situation is fucked up I don't know what I'm going to do

[Alejandro3000]

If you want to stay with him and learn to both be better, then first of all forget the girl he talks to (I know this isn't easy and its natural that you continue being inquisitive because trust is weakened. I'm not on anyone's side so he has to work harder aswell and if you don't see 50:50 effort that's no good. If you stayed with him it would allow you to develop. That is if you want to. Or you could stay long enough to know what it is that you lack and then leave and work on it with your new boyfriend as I've got a feeling you're angry inside lol

[Asker]

Not angry just sad but maybe I was being delusional and he was texting someone else?

[Alejandro3000]

oh no be was texting a girl, your visual cue would have been him smiling perhaps or really focused? You saw you knew. Don't be fooled by gaslighting. I was harsh to you because I wanted you to see past the manipulation and defend yourself against me. It did the trick but I feel bad for it and this is why you see im helping you

[Asker]

He seemed sad... like his whole mood changed. I asked if she was pregnant or something csuse I accused him of cheating.

[Alejandro3000]

You can interpret things yourself if you give yourself time alone and get some air.

[Alejandro3000]

you see why it's ridiculous to make assumptions, you just keep assuming the worst.

[Asker]

You're going back and forth...

[Alejandro3000]

I'm not on anyone's side 😇 deal with it

[Asker]

You got anything else to say?

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Why you're living with a man, unmarried, i dk