Should I feel bad about myself?

[Anonymous]

I am 24, female, rent my own apartment and live by myself. I am completely self sufficient.

I am a trainee lawyer however I am training in an area I do not like. I work in an environment where 99 percent of other people specialise in a different area to me and really look down on my area of law. This makes me really sad and impacts my self esteem. It's a long story but I didn't choose to specialise in this area.
I am also the youngest colleague by 7 years.

I am frequently told at work that I am glamourous and I do get hit on - but not by the guy I like. I fear that the guy I like looks down on me because of my area of specialism and because I rent, even though he's 7 years older than me.

I just feel that my life is a mess. I chose this job as the alternative was to move out of the county and at the time I was asked to make this decision I was in quite a serious relationship and my boyfriend's dad had just died. However, said boyfriend dumped me a few months later anyway and broke my heart.

[NamerOfStars]

Well, let's consider: you have a job, you're economically self-sufficient, and you're not tied down with crippling debt, life-destroying disabilities, or a crappy relationship with kids you don't want. That means you're in a position mobile enough to change things. Even if you're not where you want to be, you can get there from here. So let's break it down:

-Your word choice suggests you're in a non-UK Commonwealth country. I'm not even sure how exactly it works here in the US, but is it possible to change your work specialty? Working in a job you don't like is a reality most of us have to live with at some point, but the idea is usually not to stay there forever. I've heard of lawyers over here who get started in family law, but wind up burning out because it's just so heartbreaking. Could you do something similar? Even if it's not in the exact area you'd want to transfer to, experience in a law firm in general should count for SOMETHING.
-The guy you've got your eye on doesn't seem interested. Well, we can all relate to that. But you're 24- these days, being economically self-sufficient at that age AT ALL is pretty remarkable; owning your own place would seem downright extravagant. Here (not sure how well it applies to where you are), the usual model was you went off to college, you graduated and started working, you met someone and got married, and only THEN bought your own place, since it's harder to move from somewhere you own than somewhere you rent, and at any rate, you don't know where your partner will want to live, or how many kids you'll want to have, or anything like that. It's really quite unsurprising you wouldn't own your own place yet. Though the age factor might be a bit of a difference, there.
-Being at a point in life where it's hard to relate to your coworkers can suck; I know what that's like (when I was driving a bus, I'm pretty sure I was the only person in the office below retirement age). You just need to bond where you can and look for your social contacts elsewhere.

All in all, I don't think your life is disarray- you're just feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Give some serious thought to what, exactly, it is you're looking for in life and how you might get there. Don't let despair get the better of you. You've hit a bump in the road, but you're generally doing okay.

[Citizenkirk]

What purpose is served by you feeling bad about yourself🤨? If you don't feel like you are making progress in the direction you would like your life to go in, then maybe if you try externalizing your life goals and objectives, by writing them down on a piece of paper, and then write down on another piece of paper, where you are now and how you got there, then on a third piece of paper, the things that would have to change to get you from where you are, too where you want to be, and start making an inventory list if day to day changes and goals that will incrementally get you towards that life course destination, being careful not to take this transition in one giant leap, but in small, realistic, achievable, steps and measurements, so you can avoid frustration and see progress towards your goals on a day to day basis.
😊GOOD😁SUCCESS🤗AWAITING🤟YOU🖖

[ohshee]

Do you want to feel bad about yourself because if you want to all you have to do is stick it and it will happen you are so good about yourself all you have to do is thinking and it will happen you are the only person they can make you feel anything the people outside of you convergex things make you mine Wonder but that's all they can do I hear you asking maybe 5 or 6 questions is your question and you're coming close to saying what you want to say but you don't really say it I got an idea why don't you send me a private message and let me say it for you the see how close I am to say what I think you were trying to say

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

You're 24, have your own place, and work in a specialised field 7 years before your colleagues were able to attain that same level of success. That sounds pretty badass to me! They're probably intimidated because they know you're intellectually their superior, so they dump on you to massage their own fragile egos. 99.9% of people hear "lawyer" and straight away think "yup, she's successful". Imagine if cancer patients looked down on their oncologist for "being too specialised" and demanding to be treated by their general physician instead. It's unheard of. Specialisms within High-demand fields like medicine or law are to be respected, not looked down upon. (Okay, not everyone respects lawyers, but hey, not everyone respects doctors either, so it's swings and roundabouts)

[djmzes]

Simple

Look we do not know you, but you know what you did right or wrong.
Sit down and reflect where you have faulted and learn from it and move on.

[exitseven]

Don't feel bad about yourself. You have an impressive list of accomplishments.. You don;t say how you ended up specializing in an area of law that you do not like. You should try to change it to something you like better.
you worked hard to become a lawyer and you should be able to make up your own mind as to what you specialize in.

[OnTheLevel]

I know they seem serious to you, but there are tons of people that would absolutely love to trade problems with you. Basically, your problem is that you don't feel fulfilled at work or respected by your peers. In the grand scheme of things, you've got it pretty good.

[ChiTown33]

Why? You're killing it in life. Don't ever let others decide who you are or how successful you can be.
You're on your way to becoming a lawyer. How many of our mothers, sisters, grandmother's etc. Can say that.

[tallcuck]

I couldn't care less what your job is... But you think status matters, don't you? The guy you like is supposed to like your work? You are not your work... Wake up... Flirt with him, if it lewds nowhere ooen your eyes, there is 4 billion other man.

[Iron_Man]

Actually you’re doing a pretty good job so far especially for 24-year-old female why don’t you open up your own practice

[sponge-bob]

What area do you specialize in? Sueing other lawyers?