Since When Is It Considered A Masculine Trait To Have Work Ethics Or Put The State Of Finances Over Flirting On The Job?

Question

So I was told I'm acting like a man because I don't date coworkers🤔 WTF On the job you being paid To do a job not flirt...So I had a co-worker try to get my number and I told him I don't date people I work with...
Mentioned it to a user on here and he pretty much said only men should make that decision, only men could have repercussions dating someone at work TF.. Women can/could get fired for not doing their job well too, not just men..
Part of the thread:

Back to your work rule... You can make whatever rule you want to protect you from possibly having a bad interaction. But that rule is a man's rule, hence a masculine trait... You're moving like a man.

Men can't/ shouldn't date people from work because its a life ruining proposition if it falls on the ears of the wrong woman. Simply, a man can lose everything, simply for asking a woman out, it's not worth it. But if it happens to a woman, it's not the same thing. Nothing will happen to you. This isn't a rule for women unless you choose to make it one.
Can someone please explain why men can protect themselves but if a woman does, it's "masculine"..
If I provide for myself, I'm masculine if I date a man for his money, I'm a gold digger.. You people need to gtfu already...
Same user told me I'm acting like a 25 year old, and I'm gonna wind up a spinster😂😂 Well, at least I'll have a roof over my head (need it for all the cats I'll have🙄😂)

Updates

+1 y

This isn't about sexual harassment... This is about doing the job you're paid to do.. When I'm on the job, I'm about the job... If I'm off the clock then it's my personal time...
@OlderAndWiser (MHO answer) said it exactly right and why I don't do the dating coworker thing!

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

I read a few studies randomly and quickly before answeringOne said 37% of men date people from work out of that percentage 31% of them end up married. Another that he said in the US 22% of married couples met at work... So bottom line it does happen and for some people 22% but very couples perhaps it goes well... I've had five different relationships all starting at work three out of four ended decently and did not affect my job. The one that did not end well would not have ended well no matter if I had met him at church or the grocery store or anywhere outside of work. He just turned out to be an abusive Pr! ck. I didn't necessarily have to quit my job I could have kept the job however I felt it safer for me to move out of the State completely and away from him. NOW one out of the five relationships rhat start at work resulted in marriage 😍. Anyhow if dating at work is not your cup of tea then that's your decision and what works for you is all that matters. You're not wrong for having your moral compass say no to people at work. Saying a woman can't say no to dating a man at work is sexistWomen or men both have the right to say no to dating someone at work. I wouldn't go to the extent of saying you will become a cat woman who's going to end up a Spinster... Just cuz you turn down co-workers... There are people everywhere... You dont have to meet someone at work to fall in love... You have your priorities they work for you and what matters.🤔 But if you choose to become one of those spinster cat horders thats your choice too! Just make sure your house has plenty litter boxes with plenty fresh kitty litter... you're gonna need it if you choose that route 🤣

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

So, as someone who used to work in HR, I'd be definitely having a conversation with whoever said that to me. And possibly escalating it if need be.

You have a job to do. If someone gets offended because you're "working like a man", that's *their* fuckin problem.

It's just a professional trait. Nothing gendered about it.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Ah, the old gender role thing. I'm not buying it.
It's about personal choice and, to a great extent, common sense.
I don't get how a woman is acting masculine by not flirting on the job.

Female coworkers and I have innocently flirted on the job before without it interfering with our work. It was all in fun; just good natured repartee. No harassment. I have to say that it was before all the PC, workplace harassment stuff was a thing. I even went out with girls I worked with a few times. When I was in my teens, I met a couple of girlfriends at a job in a large department store. But once I had a professional job I had a general caution about having sex or getting into a relationship with a coworker because of the possible talk that could ensue and the possible repercussions if it didn't work out. People talk and things can get ugly.
I do know people who married coworkers and lived happily ever after. Work can be a natural place where people can meet and get to know each other, similar to school, clubs or organizations.

So it doesn't have to be a strict rule. It's a matter of choice. But it has nothing to do with being male of female.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

You shouldn't date people with whom you work, and that rule applies equally to men and women. The potential downfalls are that you get distracted at work and your job performance suffers, and if the relationship goes bad, you face the potential of a jilted partner saying ugly and untrue things about you at work. Your recent ex may tell your co-workers, "She broke up with me because I wouldn't agree to a FMF threesome," or "she wanted to go to a swingers' club and I said no." You may not even know that such rumors have been spread and, if you do hear about them, how can you dispel the effects on your reputation? You may not ever hear about it but that is the reason you didn't get that promotion you applied for.

You are right and whoever was telling you this has a very male-centered and condescending view of relationships.

MrOracle · Answer

That's absurd. While many women have adopted male behaviors, this is definitely not one of them, and there is no logic to this assertion at all.

coachTanthony · Answer

----------When did this start? LOL sounds cray cray to me.  ~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

MCheetah · Answer

Since many women don't do that, it's considered a masculine trait. And that guy from the thread is entirely correct. I've had a female boss come onto male co-workers and nothing happen to her. Women are also the ones that made work such a fragile environment, with threats of lawsuits if the entire business doesn't change just to confirm to her, that many men don't even want to work with women, for fear of said lawsuits, like "sexual harassment" if you tell a woman she looks nice that day.

Not trying to sound sexist, but I agree with that one dude. The more women you work with, the more you're asking for a miserable work environment and trouble. At least, in America. Now I'm just waiting for someone to call me a "misogynist" for telling the truth.

Hence, the super-serious, no-fun-allowed American work environment actually being a creation from too many entitled women at a job just waiting for any excuse to sue the company for an easy pay day. You want to get mad those are now "masculine" traits? Blame other women for that.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Nice strawman. And here I thought you were above such pettiness. You got embarrassed by our conversation so you put me on blast, huh? You did not have an answer to what I said, huh? So you alter the conversation and create a strawman. Changing the context and meaning of what I said and now sitting back very proud of yourself for your revenge... Oooo.
I thought you said you didn't flirt? And where in any thing I said, did you get that I suggested you flirt? Did you get the facts all wrong?
From your own story, you were working at work, talking on GaG, working very hard and some guy asked you out. Correct? Where did I say, 'you should flirt at work otherwise you acting like a man'?
You said that you made some arbitrary rule that you won't date people at of from work, period, right? It's a rule you made up, because dating people at work isn't a problem for women, it's a problem for men. So you internalized a problem for men and made it your own problem, even though you don't have that problem. Women don't have the same liability that comes for flirting or dating someone at the job that a man does. It can cost a man everything, his job, his life, his future. And you are trying to pretend that it's the same for you? Bullshit. Hence, you adapted a man's issue and made it your own, as if you are a man to. Hence, masculine trait.
But I challenge you to point out and put on blast, where you find where I said you 'should flirt'. I'll wait.

I am that user and I stand by every single word.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Eh, I would say the repurcussions, in my experience, are greater for men then women, or it could be that this one woman was just teflon (because despite being in her thirties their wasn't a teen boy or young guy she wouldn't fuck and she just got tranfered around every time she got caught.) that said their is an old adage "don't shit where you eat" for a reason and I think its reasonable not to date coworkers. Also I have no idea why that is something only a man can decide, seems like a really stupid comment to me.

JDavid25 · Answer

Well TBH it's one user and not a widely held rule or anything.. From what I get that user was saying that since a man's worth is his work in society, dating a woman at work could be dangerous because what if he has a bad interaction with the woman, and she gets him fired for multiple reasons.. That's the end of him having an easy time finding a good job especially in his field.. Whereas for women the same thing is not necessarily a danger.. I don't agree with his premise but I guess if that was his reasoning I could see what he meant..

Finchie40 · Answer

You are making the right choice , getting involved with a coworker can lead to extra drama at your job and might lead to losing your job , You are there to work and get a paycheck to pay your bills not there to for a love connection or fling , when I was younger I hooked up with some female coworkers but never pursued a relationship with them cuz I knew it eventually could interfere with my job , and even though I didn’t pursue a relationship with them it still turned into drama so from there on out I never pursued a coworker even if I thought she was gorgeous , I would be friends. But that’s it , especially if you are at a job where you plan on retiring from , not worth the drama

ohshee · Answer

If I was you I would fire them come on show some muscle kick their ass fired them you look and tell them to grow up but not fucking here get the fuck out yeah I agree with whatever you said except for that one part I don't remember what it was yet but I will I would fire everybody show me who's boss do do do that just be yourself your leader always remember that. And for some reason if you can't remember that remember this fuck off buddy get the fuck out of my face I'm here to do a job that babysit you

YOLOIFIC · Answer

Since never, unless I’ve been lied to my entire life. work ethic is always has been traditionally cherished from men in women. While traditionally gender roles of the past said me were breadwinners who earned income outside the house and women managed the finances of the house and performed the other domestic tasks like cooking and cleaning while staying it home.

Also can’t say it’s a universal concept but every job I’ve been in has held a “don’t shit where you eat” philosophy. They were explicitly for or against coworkers dating or even having sex unless it interfered with the work place.

in my opinion sounds like someone thinks they can’t get a date with your unless it’s interfering with work.

AnotherDrinkPlease · Answer

Well most anything that implies only men can do something or behave a particular way is horseshit, unless you're talking about erections or pissing standing up. Keeping it professional at work isn't masculine, it's just intelligent behavior that everyone is capable of. It would be like someone telling me that shedding tears is " only" for women, and if I do it I'm acting feminine or exhibiting femine traits. It's all ridiculous.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

I will never understand the whole obsession with dating on the job. So many guys here talk about that time they dated on the job.

No wonder they are so messed up.

Why on earth would you do that, run the risk of a bad relationship, which is going to happen because most guys are just looking to smash. Then having to see that person every day until either you quit or they do?

It is just madness.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Ever since sexist pigs were a thing, is my best guess

I've dated in the workplace... well the only one I've had

I was oblivious to her flirting because as well as the being focused on work angle she was like a 9 and I was maybe a 4 (because I was skinny back then)
Eventually all my co-workers said she was flirting outrageously with me and I still played the oblivious card because I thought it was all part of a conspiratal joke which would feature me as the punchline (my school year were not kind and they fucked up my social interaction with others for a good year or two)
So, she eventually off the clock having a nightcap and watch Kill Bill at her father's she made a move on me and we ended up becoming an item

We split when she went to university so that made the escape process easier

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

That is not considered masculine. That's just being focused, working hard, and doing the job you were given. My parents said that when they were younger you couldn't date co-workers at all (you could lose your job for doing that). Now it doesn't matter if you do or not. But the reason why some still don't is because they'd get distracted from their work. And yes, you can get in trouble for that.

oddwaffle · Answer

Yeah, as a boss, I don't care. Get back to work. You guys aren't paid to flirt. Do it outside of the business, not in uniform and absolutely not during work hours.

I have fired people for doing that on the job before. They got into the cooler and was kissing.

Azura_88 · Answer

That's so fucked up. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
This is what happens when we don't wanna date literally anyone and only are looking for a meaningful long term commitment.
Guys in my area also pestered me by saying "give it a shot, being in a relationship will make you feel better, you'll enjoy or don't be so uptight and cold".

humanearth · Answer

People are so freaking stupid.

there's a rule ”You dont go to the bathroom where you sleep”

Smart ones (Like yourself) don't fall for this modern day BullShit.

Just think, if you did do anything like try to pickup men at work. You have a good chance of being charge with sexual harsment at work. Wheres your future then

EnglishEuropean · Answer

You're overthinking this. Guys say crazy stuff when they get rejected. Usually they say something to make it seem like you made a bad decision. We do it to protect our ego and it doesn't necessarily have any basis in reality.

Damn, I feel like a gender traitor just telling you this stuff. lol

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I can't believe you took him seriously. He was winding you up.

You should show that 25 year old the photo above and ask him what he was doing in it.. No not the bloke, I was referring to the dumbbell! :D

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

When I'm at work, I'm there to work. As a restaurant employee, though, flirting & sexual harassment is common & we all joke about it, unless it goes too far. Pretty much everyone in the restaurant is fucking someone else who works there, the rules are a little more relaxed for us. We just have a rule to not sleep with the people who pay our bills, especially regulars.

FreyaRed · Answer

It annoys me off too if I hear this kind of pseudo compliments from guys. Do they really think I can behave completely stupid and doing idiotic things just because I'm an attractive girl?

Since When Is It Considered A Masculine Trait To Have Work Ethics Or Put The State Of Finances Over Flirting On The Job?

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