Why does bumble have this rule: "Remember, women always make the first move"?

[shydude1991]

Bumble has a rule that says and i quote "Remember, women always make the first move". What's the point of this? To protect women or something?

[coachTanthony]

----------------It's not a rule nor is it for their protection. it's just the way they set the app up. Women message first. Now I would argue that really isn't making the first move when it comes to dating. A real first move is asking someone on a date or out to dinner. For me though I love BUMBLE. I use it for all my female clients so that they can control who they interact with. On other sites women get almost 50-200 messages a day. On bumble they only get replies not messages.

Online Dating can be overwhelming for women so Bumble makes it easy for them.

"If you don't like me and still watch everything I do, bitch you are a fan."
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[OlderAndWiser]

Women get many unwanted messages, unsolicited dick pics, and extreme weirdos messaging them on other apps. That can't happen on Bumble unless the woman messages the weirdo first. So that makes women feel safer and they are more inclined to choose Bumble over other apps.

I'm in a relationship now but before that I dated using Bumble and zoosk and I had good results with both sites. The lady I have been dating for eight months is someone I met on zoosk.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I haven't used Bumble but yeah, I think it's to protect women from unsolicited dick pics. Not that it works, I've heard dudes just wait until a woman sends them a message and then they send a dick pic.

I'd use Bumble before Tinder with that feature, though. And preload a meme with a small dick with an "F" written on it as a reply for unsolicited dick pics.

[shydude1991]

I never understood why some guys send that

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I don't know either. Probably addiction of some kind in some cases.

[shydude1991]

Yeah, it's not like the girl on the other side looking at it can touch it and suck it 🤣

[Qdbrown]

I thought dumb until I heard a guy tell us that he gets a lot of flak about them. But then again he gets a lot of followup that he wants. Chicks inviting him over for a quickie.

Supply and demand. And the best part, it doesn't need to be your own. Just an advertisement.

[Bee-Hatch]

Well yeah to protect women. I'm sure you're popular on the dating apps couple of likes a day? For women it's a hell of a lot more. An open channel means you're subjected to too many messages. The idea was once you find a match as the woman you get the opportunity to initiate contact if you like. It's got its flaws. But for some it's preferred.

[shydude1991]

I like it better that way, there's too many annoying creeps women have to deal with, i feel bad for you girls.

[Stephen_77]

Being a white knight simp won't get you laid.

[shydude1991]

@Stephen_77 what will get me laid? I need it quite badly

[Curmudgeon]

"I'm sure you're popular on the dating apps couple of likes a day?" - Nope. For men, there is more often than not, *nothing*. Perhaps this is why many men can't grasp the concept of women getting bombarded with attention on sites like Tinder. However, you are correct, it was designed to minimize women getting bombarded with attention.

[shydude1991]

@Curmudgeon How come women get so much attention and i get none? It's not fair

[Curmudgeon]

@shydude1991 LIFE is not fair. The ratios of men to women on dating sites are quite lopsided, although the ratios are better now than they were in the 1990s and 2000s when these programs started. Back then they were on desktop computers, and arguably were better, because people made more effort and had more text space to build their profiles and describe themselves. The growth of limited profile description space and "swiping left or right" on pictures actually has made matters worse in that regard.

[Curmudgeon]

@shydude1991 What will get you laid? Good question. For many of us the answer is *nothing*. Although for many of us, the answer is also to spend time bettering ourselves - physically, financially, mentally, and spiritually - and not waste time on dating apps. Or better yet, just use dating apps in places where you have nothing better to do, like waiting for the bus or train to work, or any other situations where you are left waiting somewhere and trying to amuse yourself and not be bored.

[Bee-Hatch]

Ok - @shydude1991 here's how tinder works in reality as an example.

For every woman on tinder there are 5 men approximately. So that means women are at a premium, as with any resource that makes competition big.

So what happens?

The average man will join, carefully swipe on a handful of women. But soon realise that women simply don't match with them. They may wonder if it's something personal about their profile or some other reason. So they realise they can't be picky. They need to maximise potential. So they start swiping right on every woman, and then deal with any matches that might crop up. In reality they'll still only see the odd match.

So what happens from the womans side? An "average looking" woman goes on tinder, and suddenly she's receiving lots of matches because she's at a premium in the confines of the app for the reason described above. What this does for her is give her a false opinion of her place in the dating stakes, believing wrongly from the many matches that she's incredibly desirable. As a consequence she will become more picky with who she will and won't match with. She will select only those men that have overly specific requirements on her part. Add in any men matching instantly messaging her. She feels overly confident in her position.

So what happens? Lots of men picking any woman they see vs fewer women hardly selecting anyone. Result men see hardly any matches.

The women then chat with a majority of dickheaded creepy fuckers. And that makes them more wary of men on dating apps. And unfortunately it means genuine men who are good find it difficult making their way onto the dating scene, because women don't honestly see where they are in an open dating market.

And that's why you don't get many matches. It's not you it's a system that's counterproductive in terms of meeting someone. Put the same number of potential partners with a 50/50 split by gender in a large area together and statistically you'll get more people match.

[Bee-Hatch]

Similar systems work on most dating apps.

[Stephen_77]

Not my problem. It's up to you to figure out how to get laid.

[shydude1991]

@Stephen_77 but we're bredas, we both have weenies

[Bee-Hatch]

Top tip shydude you're not going to get any if your name of choice is your weenie.

[AmandaYVR]

To make women do it. Otherwise they never will. Almost all of them wait for the guys to do everything first when it comes to dating.

[AmandaYVR]

What has your experience on the Bumble dating app been like? ↗

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Wouldn't know.. Don't use dating sites...

[hhadeshatesme]

The founder of bumble Whitney Wolfe was also a co-founder of tinder she resigned in 2014 after filling a lawsuit against tinder for sexual harassment I believe. Bumble was made to empower women to make the first move by giving them the ability to control the conversation.

[Juxtapose]

Nobody is really happy with this system of men initiating almost to the point of exclusivity.

Forcing women to make the first move gets rid of the problem of women's inboxes getting flooded & man getting *completely* ignored.

Dating apps will make you feel like shit.. luckily my girlfriend makes me feel like a king.

[shydude1991]

Lucky

[Juxtapose]

It's about fucking time, I'm too good-looking and too charming to have be single for so fucking long. It was fucking bullshit and pissed me off lol.

Now.. I have an 18 year old who cums as fast as a teenage boy & can cum 6 times before she taps out.

LTR atm but I have no problem flying out to meet her when she gets her own place.

[Juxtapose]

*been single

[BeMuse]

When they were first brainstorming the site they were going to call it bum hole. That’s where the sphincter shaped logo comes from. It’s a site for gay soy boys that wait for comands from dominatrix trannies..

[Curmudgeon]

Actually, there are EVEN WORSE dating websites for that sort of thing, but your point is taken. It's a mess out there! :D

[BeMuse]

@Curmudgeon I’m sure there is... I’ve never used online dating. I looked at it just for shits and giggles once and was like nope. One of my brothers actually worked for a dating service before. He was working an IT job. They would set up people with really weird personality disorders on blind dates. He told me stories about guys coming in with purple capes and things like that thinking that was perfectly normal every day behavior.

[shydude1991]

Exactly, i love Dominatrixes

[Curmudgeon]

But the entitled bitches are arguably even worse than the sadly damaged young men.

[Curmudgeon]

@shydude1991 Oh, please DON'T go there. The women into that sort of thing are mercenary at best, and will utterly abuse and ruin you at worst. Better Vanilla than Poisoned sweets.

[shydude1991]

@Curmudgeon we'll always be there to simp and kiss their big asses

[Curmudgeon]

@shydude1991 And you will be sorry in the end for that.

[shydude1991]

@Curmudgeon ok but is that bad? There's naturally dominant people out there but dominant doesn't always equal abuser

[BeMuse]

@Curmudgeon Yep, that’s what I gathered from skimming through profiles when I first gave it a glance. 95 out of 100 female profiles were just straight train wrecks on the surface. Then I searched the guys to see why girls complain about online dating, given the average girl I witness on there and the guys were just as much of a mess.

[Curmudgeon]

@shydude199 "ok but is that bad? There's naturally dominant people out there but dominant doesn't always equal abuser" - YES, because you even describe yourself as a "Simp" already. It is like you are holding up a sign saying "ABUSE ME AND RUIN MY LIFE".

Now if you want to see a mercenary prostitute and play out a role for a bit, fine, but in the end you are out a lot of money and you put back on your street clothes and go back to your day job and you are not in a long term relationship.

[ODC2112]

The thing is very simple. Women grow up in the social stereotype that everything is their due. So on dating sites they don't do anything active, they wait for the man to do everything, because they are ladies and therefore everyone has to put themselves at their service.
The story of protecting women or whatever is purely bullshit. Bumble derives his algorithms from other dating apps where it has been noticed that women do nothing and then complain that dating apps don't work, they are just waiting for ego gratification.
Bumble makes women do something, so that the success of the relationship depends on them.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

So that women don't get unsolicited dick pics as their first message from a guy.

[shydude1991]

Maybe it's to protect men

[JSmuve]

It's bumbles shtick to give women the illusion of protection. They have control over who sends the first message, making "the first move" but women historically hate making the first move so they don't bother. It's "empowering" women by forcing them into a role that they're not naturally inclined to.

It also is said to cut down on unwanted messages, to which I'd rebuttal that there's nothing stopping a guy from sending unwanted messages after she sends the first message. Also, what kind of guys is she swiping right on that are sending these messages? Perhaps she should be more selective. If she's getting so many then perhaps that says something about her judgement.

[A_Bell]

Never used a dating app except to see what they are like. I don't understand why anyone would subject themselves to this demeaning crap. Not this rule, the whole sorry setup.

I guess I am a see the merchandise in person instead of buying online kind of person.

[GenFem19]

Personally I use it when I'm feeling insecure. Thinking that I'm ugly? Upload a selfie and make a quick dating profile and look at all the people that wanna fuck me! :)

[shydude1991]

Because you're a woman and a gorgeous one, all you have to do is show up and they'll chase you down, sorry for being so blunt but that's how i feel.

[VanillaSalt]

I work overnight 12 hours a day 5-7 days a week… I don’t drink, my hobbies aren’t hobbies your likely to meet people during, I’ve heard of men being arrested for rape when all they did was stop and help change a tire. I hear all the time I’m out shopping I’m not here to meet you or I’m busy when women are doing their thing in public… I can’t walk up to you or you’re afraid of the big strong man who’s going to hurt you… I can’t be kind because only the doors misogynistic… I refuse to pay because there’s women out there just after a free meal…

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's it exactly. Women often get "bombarded" with messages from guys and feel overwhelmed. Some guys get mad at rejection also and often these things "chase" women away from these sites/apps. With them "in control", at least initially, they feel "safe". And from a guy's point of view that really likes this feature, I like her to because then I know she's actually got some kind of real interest in me likely, or at least enough to talk. She's not just talking to me "just because" (for whatever reason), not likely anyway. She made the first move and showed me interest first, I don't need to know if she has any or not, I know she's got some at least.

[ChrisMaster69]

For every message a guy gets, it’s reckoned a girl gets 1000.

there is a move to to have more dating apps this way.

Zero problems with it, an group we sponsor have an even more girl orientated app.

https://www.killingkittens.com

[Anonymous]

To reinforce an already sexist and biased dating market. Women already have far too much power in the market, and this just makes it worse. I would be happy to see dating apps banned.

[shydude1991]

Why? Dating apps help shy people

[Opinion Owner]

Bullshit. You lie through your teeth. 80% of men don't get matches on dating apps, all they do is concentrate the returns to the top 20%. It leads to a bifurcation of the market where the saem 20% of men get all women and the other 80% get nothing. At this rate we are going to have two classes of citizens in a decade, and the larger one is going to be VERY angry.

[oddwaffle]

It's for the guys to learn playing as a fisherman instead of a hunter.

As a hunter, you go around looking for prey. Stalk them and begin the ambush. Essentially just go up and begin your pitch.

As a fisherman, you cat-, I mean... present yourself in the best light and hope a big catfish will bite.

[Uptowngirl88]

To allow women to choose who they interact with instead of them being messaged back to back to back by random men all day asking to chill , come to their house and get laid. It helps protect the women

[shydude1991]

True, guys are like horny dogs

[crazy8000]

To change dynamics that female's must take initiative.
It prevents the funny effect that female's do on dating services that creates an issue for them that they blame males for instead of stop doing what created the whole mass message and dickpic behavior. ( ignoring and ghosting )


Empowerment is mostly just a ideological propaganda to justify something that isn't really what they shout.

[SheerKiss3]

It was created for that purpose, to make girls feel safer taking the decision who to talk with. It makes it different.

[Snakeyes7]

It's to make a reversal on dating tropes. I'm honestly surprised it's still up because it rarely works.

[shydude1991]

Women like to be slutty and make the first move

[Snakeyes7]

Sure but it's usually over a certain percentage of men if the okcupid study has any merit.

[NoLookingAtSoleil]

They do anyhow make the first move - not overtly, but they give you a green light and then you can make a move officially.
It's how it works (and quite a number just play you for emotional/mental attention afterwards to feel desired/good about themselves)

[Smashingdoozy]

Because guys will like every single girl and chat up every single girl or attempt to so bumble puts the decision in the hands of women.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Forget bumble try okcupid the free version is all you need