Any hope for me or current women? Why do we attract the weak men?

[Ninjazzed]

I would consider myself very feminine in appearance and behavior but I can be a bit outspoken. Why do I always get hit on by the unattractive, weak men? It may sound a little harsh but I’m honestly sick of getting pursued by the undesirable.. Is there something I can do to change this? Or is it inevitable?

They usually live with their parents, socially-awkward, no money, effeminate, no assertive nature, etc. Is this what the average woman has to settle for now?

[Dazed0N0Confused]

If you don't like who's pursuing you, start doing the pursuing. I've done the pursuing & it's worked out nicely for me. Men like a lady who takes initiative & it's flattering for them to know that they are desirable as well.

Otherwise, enjoy the single life & what you consider to be piss poor male specimens.

[Ninjazzed]

Easier said than done. “Piss poor male specimens” coming your way is always a dead giveaway that you’re only wanted by low value men. Better to stay single in that regard.

[Agape93]

It is what it is hon. I get hit on by creeps and assholes often enough. It is inevitable, because no matter what you do, some weirdo will always find some way to fetishize you. You just gotta ignore the ones you don’t want. Simple as that

[GingerGuy]

That's why I always tell women THEY should be the ones approaching and not waiting for the guy to. You don't get the ones you want. So go after the ones you want. Think of it like a job, it's not likely to just come to you, you have to go out and get/find it.

[Ninjazzed]

Women approaching the guy makes her come off as desperate. I’ve tried it once and I got called a creep lol. Didn’t really get anything in return but mixed emotions. He wanted to be with me but he didn’t. Was just confusing as hell.

If a guy isn’t into you, he won’t even bother. If he’s interested, he will make time for you and even make a point to ask you on a date. Trust me, if it was that easy, I would. Typically men chase the ones they want though. Maybe I’m just not wanted by the types I’m into? Even the ones in my league? Usually in order for the relationship to work, the guy has to be extremely interested. Not just sexually.

[Ninjazzed]

Much easier for a man to find a decent woman than vice versa.

[GingerGuy]

"Women approaching the guy makes her come off as desperate." - NO IT DOESN'T!!! I don't know why women think this (ingrained in you from mothers?). Search this site even. Many, many, many guys (most) would LOVE to be approached by women and it doesn't make them look "desperate" at all. This "desperate" is ONLY if he's rejected you and you aren't taking no for an answer! But regardless, if you're not going to take action, you can't really complain about the results than can you? Going back to the job example, it would be like complaining you have no job, but have never given out your resume or applied for anything. I mean, I get it, it's hard, nobody likes rejection. I myself stopped asking anyone out years ago. I'll stay single lol

[GingerGuy]

Does it make the guy "look desperate" as well then? No, you think they have some confidence right? We often see it the same way. And you know yourself probably, confidence is attractive!

[Still-alive]

"Women approaching the guy makes her come off as desperate." nope it doesn't do that

" I’ve tried it once and I got called a creep" happens to us guys all the time yet we are expected to just "take it like a man" and try again.

So uhh woman up and try again

[Ninjazzed]

@Still-alive I’m honestly afraid of the backlash that comes with it.. there’s a lot of assholes out there.. you never know who it is.

[Ninjazzed]

@Still-alive It just doesn’t feel right that I have to be the one always initiating the first move.

[Still-alive]

thats not what you said earlier you said you were afraid of being seen as desperate

[Still-alive]

"It just doesn’t feel right that I have to be the one always initiating the first move. "

so uhh get over it. you want decent men, go after them otherwise stop complaining if you keep getting the same results you don't want.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

If you appear to be dominant in your life, you will attract submissive men. Be more feminine and less outspoken and more dominant (desirable) men will see more value in you.

It's not great.. it's really a shit sandwich, but that's the world we live in.

[Ninjazzed]

Yep, working on it day by day. Very true, unfortunately.

[Lionman95]

Yes because there are seemingly attractive and unattractive guys as there are seemingly attractive and less attractive women. There were always people that were a bit uglier than others.
No one is entitled to getting the beautiful and strong people.
Because those guys also want a relationship and that what´s society is changing to be. Because that´s not only the present but also the future.

[backdoorman]

When you sit back passively and wait for guys to pursue you, you get who you get. More to the point, you get who you attract. You should ask yourself why you only attract those guys. What is it about you that puts off higher value men?

[Ninjazzed]

Well the problem is that I don’t really live around those high value men. I live in a very backwater town, so to speak. Everyone attracts the losers, it’s just up to you to reject them.

[backdoorman]

I suspect you have certain attitudes that put guys off as well. Something to think about.

Men complain about modern women a lot, but who's worse in modern times, the men or women? ↗

[Ninjazzed]

Yeah I don’t think so. Having standards isn’t having off-putting attitudes.

[neeeeeeeko]

Unfortunately yes, but it's a socio economic issue, not the fault of men. If you love someone, work as a team and grow, regardless of the circumstances

[MCheetah]

People attract the things that they are, and "opposites" only attract in magnets. Literally your first comment is you refuting your own few positive qualities about yourself with a "but." You also imply yourself an "average woman."

In short, you're a 5 (at the most) getting mad you're being hit on by 5s and then wonder what the problem is.

[boggboss]

Lol if your looking to be pursued there is nothing u can do to change who goes for u lol

[Ninjazzed]

These men ain’t for me lol far out of their league and vice versa.

[boggboss]

Which is irrelavent at the end off the day as anyone can ask anyone out

[Ninjazzed]

Noooo lol hasn’t been my experience at all.

[boggboss]

Lol no you have not been asked out by guys u want but thats also on you as if u want specific criteria that's fine but if u only wait for guys to ask u out u can't complain as to who or what asks u out as u are doing nothing to help those odds

[Ninjazzed]

Which is why I’m assuming that it has less to do with that fact lol is it due to my age?

[boggboss]

Probably many factors that play a role into it age included

[boggboss]

Ah sorry just saw your age thought u was older no I wouldn't say age is a factor

[ChiTown33]

Well for starters hun you need to be honest with yourself. I've seen your pics and you're avg. At best. Which would be absolutely fine if you had a good attitude to go along with it. But unfortunately you don't. Any high value guy is going to have better women that want him already. So you're already at a disadvantage to start.
Good luck.

[Ninjazzed]

Honest with myself? I get hit on by below average men? You’re conflating having standards with a bad personality which speaks volumes of your ignorance.

[rcljr]

That’s what was created by god damned feminists, deal with it, there are very few men left.

[Ninjazzed]

Because it’s easier for you to blame feminism than to take responsibility, yes.. of course. Grow up.

[rcljr]

Go fuck yourself with a cactus bitch, I didn’t feminize the male population with whiny ass fake complaints. Open your own fucking doors from here on out, see if I care.

[HeelyGod25]

Shut the fuck up and get over yourself, you delusional geezer.

You're only proving her point. Grow up and know when to own up instead of deliberately choosing to be a willingly ignorant cunt.. it's a gender-specific issue caused by MEN.

If men wanted to be feminine, then that's on them. That's like blaming a Jehovah's witness for believing their religious dogma. It's up to you to have the better judgement of what you choose to believe and imitate. Think for yourself instead of being a hive-minded coward.

Not her fault your dick is too limp and dusty to attract a shred of pussy. Until then, you're better off shoving your dick into a wood chipper because no decent woman who values herself would ever touch you with a 10-foot pole.

To be so old, you still haven't learned shit.. on top of that, you grew a victim mentality.

[HeelyGod25]

Blaming feminism is just another excuse.

With that mentality, you'll remain a lonely hermit until you're worm food.

[FalconTakanashi]

Yes, because most so-called "men" are Incel maggotsacks like you.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

You are 21!
People don't even end their degrees until they are 23. Guys your age in average will live with their parents with no money yet.

[Ninjazzed]

No, it really depends on the guy. I’ve known plenty of men who have great careers, they have their own homes, and have already gotten married in their early 20s.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

At early 20? What did they do?

[Ninjazzed]

Mechanics, usually.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

So worked in a garage? Those can start young yes. But if someone wants to be a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer, not happening in their early 20's.
So expect many guys your age to still be students and so not have lots of money.

[anylolone]

Because you are weak and the strong men learned to hang around strong women.
There's not enough strong women around, so a lot of those are going full monk.

If you think weak men are not worth it, why would strong men believe you are worth it?

Also, strong women are getting harens because of such, yet not enough to cover every strong man, which is why going monk has become so popular.

[Ninjazzed]

Yeah, no lol. Define a “strong woman” because I don’t see too many of them. I’m not a “weak woman” to attract low ballers.. such a dumb excuse.. Beyoncé gets hit on by a lot of shitty guys, is she automatically a weak woman? Idiot lol.

[anylolone]

Beyonce weak? Yeah. Queen Bee, mean girls club isn't strength.
And that's what she is and has always been.
She's lucky she can sing and that shitty people like to live vicariously through her.

Even britney is stronger than beyonce, all things considered.

[Ninjazzed]

Britney Spears is what’s called an alpha female, lol women look to her cue. I mean, no shit lol. Even in the background, your eye is naturally drawn to her. That’s called true star power.

[anylolone]

Nope, she was basically a mental slave to her parents.
Strength takes being one's own master, and she's only growing to that right now.
If she succeeds, gosh, she's going to be hella strong.

[Ninjazzed]

She’s under a conservatorship as of now, but no. Britney has been a star since the very beginning. Obviously she was born with the innate talent and passion for the limelight. Ever since she was the tender age of 5 years old. Her parents just knew how to take advantage of it.

Britney is finally standing up for herself because she finally realized she had a voice.. her fans really did lend a hand in this and she thanked them tremendously. Her lawyer is also doing everything in his power to see the end of this through.

[anylolone]

Being a star doesn't make strength.

If you want a man like her, you don't want strength, you want a useful slave.

[loves2learn]

Change how you portray yourself. Find different places to hang out. Whatcha doin right now is not workin for ya.

[slatyb]

If you are attractive it's inevitable. Maybe find a different group of friends so you will meet men you find more attractive?

[natured]

Define unattractive? Define Weak? The way you're displaying yourself makes me believe you think you're deserving of an "attractive" and "strong" man.
What if the "unattractive" one has plenty of love to offer? A whole world to explore? What if he would make you happy?
Seriously thinking to high of yourself will always bring you the opposite.

A personality like yours is not attractive in this case
That's the vibe I got 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ninjazzed]

What is there to define? Someone who carries themselves like a desperate crackhead doesn’t exactly shoot themselves higher up in the market.

Men who are physically and emotionally weak.. quick to anger. And no, I would think I deserve better if I’m footing my own bill on dates. I try to make it 50/50 every time and it still isn’t enough. A boring man is just a boring man. A man with nothing to offer is never something that a woman considers valuable. I thought this was common knowledge at this point? It takes more than love to fuel a marriage, honey.. lmao it takes tremendous financial stability and commitment. There also needs to be some form of attraction. It can’t be entirety one-sided. Highly doubt anyone with anything going for them can give me “a whole world to explore” much less, a visit to the local pub lol. None of these qualities is going to make a woman happy, it takes more than love and motivation to keep up with a woman. Sorry for having standards and thinking long-term? You know nothing of my personality.

[Dchrls78104]

Good job, then, that I don't date. I've hung up my boots as far as dating is concerned. I'm socially awkward.

[Still-alive]

What @Slim57 said. what do YOU have to offer? sound like you got no problem judging dudes you deem unworthy of having you. how do you know you aren't just as unworthy yourself? hmmmm

[Slim57]

Thanks for agreeing with me on this one

[Ninjazzed]

I have plenty to offer, I at least have a career, a decent personality, I show my appreciation for those worth my time, a desire to build a family, and I don’t make men pay for dates. I’m the one missing out on free meals here. I’m better off dating a high schooler at this point because these men have nothing more to offer than a teenager.

[Still-alive]

"I at least have a career"

thats the only thing i saw here... the rest im not so sure so far

[Ninjazzed]

If that’s the only thing you gathered then you are obviously a cherry-picking moron.

[Ninjazzed]

Must have really hit home for you.

[Nobleone]

Obviously those guys aren't as weak as you say they are if they have the balls to approach you. You sound like another person who overvalues themself, and you don't deserve a boyfriend anyway with your shitty attitude.

[Ninjazzed]

Being desperate doesn’t equate to strength. Another false dichotomy.

No? It’s called having standards and wanting someone within your league. You wouldn’t want to marry a broke drug addict would you? What would she have to offer you besides a laundry list of problems?

Are you saying you would settle for less? Because I doubt it. What a dumb hypocrite.

[Shy_Steve]

It's similar to how i feel but i don't hit on at all.

[Shy_Steve]

Don't get hit on at all.

[Zygum]

Change your attitude, manners and generle bahaviour with strangers

[Zygum]

Thanks

[Rob17792]

maybe because you're undesirable yourself. you might want to look in the mirror first before you go judging others with your over inflated ego

[Ninjazzed]

No? You realize it goes both ways, right? You would rather cop an attitude before admitting that having standards is going to benefit someone in the long run.

I know my worth and I know what a catch I can be. I’ve dated men in my league in the past but my point is that those men have stopped asking women out.

Yeah I don’t think so, but whatever story you need to spin to fit your narrative.. you definitely sound like a bullshitter.. no way in hell would you pick the confident whore over the loyal, feminine woman.. you spew this to defend a man’s poor decision to date someone when they have absolutely nothing to offer while shitting on women for having standards. I might as well date a high schooler.

[Rob17792]

fuck you you stuck up snob! news flash girlie you may think you're a catch but you're really not! this coming from a guy telling you straight out you're not a catch. all i read on here is your ego being spewed on this question and bitching about how guys aren't good enough for you which makes you a stuck up snob. and no it's not having standards it's judging someone without knowing them. and "my narrative" is reality. i'm not the only guy who sees this other guys do too especially if you're not getting asked out by the guys you like. lose the ego because there are millions of other women who are much better than you are

[Rob17792]

if you were as great of a catch you claim you were then you would of been taken by now. you might want to look in the mirror and check that ego of yours

[Ninjazzed]

Is that supposed to be a jab? Shut the fuck up and hop off my thread.

Go back to your virgin cult, you dumb cunt. You know deep down I’m right. You left an unhinged comment and expect people to kiss your ass? You’re definitely going to end up alone, if you aren’t already.

[Rob17792]

i'd rather be alone than be with someone like you bitch

[Rob17792]

and you're not right just egotistical and full of shit

[Rob17792]

and no i never expected or said anybody had to kiss my ass. you wanted an opinion you got one just not the one you wanted to hear that kisses your ass

[Ninjazzed]

Go play in traffic, dumb twat. You’re better off in isolation where you don’t have to contaminate our women anymore.

[HeelyGod25]

"If you were as great of a catch you claim you were then you would of been taken by now"

Uh, no? That's not how it works, buddy.

You can be a hell of a catch all day long and still be subjected to being asked out by trash men and women. Notice how everyone, regardless of social status, wants to be with the most desirable? Regardless if they have anything of value themselves.

It's easy to be taken with a fuck-up. It's harder to keep up with someone decent, let alone someone who works hard. If you blindly accept any request from a random man/woman without questioning them or feeling out their personality, then that's your stupidity. Without evaluating who they are as a person, you're only screwing yourself over.

[ToastyOats]

Ask out who you like.

[JesseJayNeak]

Then you make the first move