LoL nice guy alert
I like that you said that. One of the first dates I was on, it was clear (eventually) that she wanted to bang. I don't know if it was cuz I felt it was too easy. Or maybe cuz I couldn’t help but think how low her self esteem was? Either way it was a turn off.
@Sweepthelegjonny I respect you for considering dating as something serious. Many other men would jump right in bed with her. So yes you are right they must have a very low self esteem, it's sad though, when people have so much potential in general.
Thanks! And I agree
Not everyone is dating to find a partner, some people are just wanting sex and just call it dating. So not necessarily low self esteem. A lot of the time people aren’t looking for a partner. Dating can just be a nice way and less vulgar way of saying casual sex for some people.
@Explorer91 Sure I agree with you, but it happens many times that you SPECIFY that you are not into casual sex, and they say "ME NEITHER" yet they try to convince you to go and sleep with them on the first date. Happened many times... So as long as two people agree and respect each others thoughts it's fine.
Sounds like you're a sex on no date kindda guy, virgin 🙂
@Sarah696 Sex isn't that important to me, and I've made the mistake of rushing to have it sooner than I was actually comfortable with. I've since learned that I enjoy it more when I feel confortable and familiar with my partner before we become physical
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Yeah tell me about it.
What is horrifying about people hooking up?
@HiveBee That's a philosophical discussion and I'm not going to get into it. I'm not into arguing these things.But I'll put it to you this way - if people are going on dates just for sex, and when they don't get it, they stop all communication with the person, even when the person reaches out, then they are using that person (the fact that it is for sex is pretty much beside the point, as far as I'm concerned.)
So its not the sex. Its the method they use to get sex they want. By lying and manipulating, saying they want a wife and dumping after she puts out.That is different from two people who are honest, tell the truth, and hook up mutually.
@HiveBee Well basically yes. But we have no idea the details of this particular situation; like how they 'marketed' themselves (if on dating apps.) Might be false advertising. Guys certainly do that a lot. They want to get a foot in the door.
And another big issue today is this decision many people make, not to bother communicating. It's becoming more and more common for people to just not respond, because they don't feel like it, or it makes them feel awkward.
Very very true. Most people are afraid to be honest.I was talking to a guy at work, 21 year old young guy. I told him i am honest with women. If i like a girl and i only want to have sex with her. And i want to hook up, than i tell her the truth.His response was "yea but then you're an asshole and she hates you."Thats the belief around honesty. That it makes you an asshole lol. People are afraid to be honest. They manipulate because its the only option.They couldnt be honest if they tried lol.
But in my experience, women LOVE honesty. They never get mad. I even made friends and had girls try to hook me up with their cute friends.It pays well to be honest rather than sneaky and manipulative.
@HiveBee Yeah I don't agree with the guy who said that to you. I don't think the girls would "hate" you. On some level, they probably feel complimented that you wanted them in that way. I do disagree on that "they couldn't be honest if they tried" though. Everyone can be honest. They just don't think it's advantageous, and morality's not their top priority. Getting what they want, or protecting their image is.
Good for you. More people should be like that.
For me it was very hard to be honest lol. It was never about morality or any of that.Its a social skill. Specifically a sexual social skill.The reason its hard is as the guy said. She will hate you.Thats not the truth but that is what i believed as well. It was VERY hard to be honest at first. I was terrified of being hated.Not every man is a bad person. Not everyone is an evil manipulator. Even if what they are doing is exactly that.But, at the same time, most guys who are "players" really are consciously and purposefuly manipulative. They know what they want and how yo get it.Most men simply are not on that level lol. Most of us aren't players.
Welcome to dating in the 21st century. When I first started seriously dating (at 21) I got hit with a massive dose of reality to my sheltered, innocent view of things as akin to a romantic comedy or chick flick with me in the role of hapless, hopelessly romantic hero akin to Ted from HIMYM. Quickly got smacked with the reality stick as women proceeded to ghost me, attempt to use me as a ham with a dick and other times just flat-out use me. Luckily I'm waiting for the right girl and my pants are hard to get into. Plus I was so new to things I literally didn't understand flirting. Still kind of clueless. I was a dorky, ugly nerd who got told he wasn't good looking before I muscled up and got tattoos and changed, I'm not used to flirting.I had one girl I actually liked and dated for a few months (also didn't have sex with her) actually leave me because she eventually found out I was a virgin and tbh I was a little afraid and nervous so things fizzled out.At 24, I find myself getting less concerned about ending up alone and more concerned with developing new friendships or further developing existing ones with women that I enjoy spending time with platonically. If things leap forward great, if not, I'm learning to take pride in my work and purpose and enjoy just having someone to talk to instead. Though one woman in particular does have my eye.
@InventorofWarp You sound a bit shy but very sensible. 👌
Probably both right.I'd rather be shy than cocky.
Just be yourselves and dont lie. Be honest and you will be happy. The world would be easier this way. Girls... that prince charming/ sugardaddy won't give out his assets, earnings and money to you just because. Dont have those high standards you are just ending up being used and not loved.Guys dont try to fart higher than your ass hole just to impress. At the end of the day she will find out how broke or irresponsible you are and end up hurting you.
Interesting view on it. I actually think that could be very true.
Is there a way of letting a girl down gentle and keeping the interest up?
Why is it a problem to talk to a guy after that. It's obvious that if a guy refusing to have sex with a girl on the first date it is not because she is not attractive but because he wants to know her more
So dignity should not be hurt
Well, it would definitely hurt my ego if in such a situation a girl wouldn't see me as a "dating material"
@SilverRain92 yea but if this is happening all the time as the writer is indicating it is, I’d say he is doing something to damn put off people lol. So you can’t be a certain way then go, why doesn’t anyone want to date me lol, got to work on yourself. If it’s happening most of the time, it’s not everyone else it’s you.
if you are a woman you are bound to have this problem. that is why I say he must not be from America or maybe the women he was dating actually wanted to hookup instead of getting serious
That just makes two in the wrong
@Nick473 I disagree, I'm not going to complain about getting sex sooner.
They do and they have a very low regard for what is supposed to be sacred between two people
Is it a kind of trolling? Men don't owe a penis to any stranger woman they met
@SilverRain92 no they dont, should women have to bow and su ck a mans dick constantly because she "OWES' it to him?
no so @supercutebutt your answer is wrong entirely
@Jakekk7634 Thanks for setting me straight!
kissing is okay though
@RaspberrySlushPuppy sure, what I meant by it was just that I'm not comfortable with it
what if you sat on your knees closed eyed waiting for a kiss?
@RasberrySlushPuppy And why would I be doing that?It's not a matter of the fact I cannot see... It's that I'm not comfortable in my former or current version of myself, to kiss someone on the first date and/or the first time I generally meet someone.
😅 because you want to be a disney princess and receive a kiss from a prince? lmao
It's not because she wants to be a disney princess. Some people are more on the conservative side? They're more reserved? Less comfortable with physical means of affection? I myself wouldn't kiss a guy I just met on my first date.
@kristine_o would you allow to smell your hair?