I’m 26 as of right now and am just trying to figure out why I’m still single. My messages are so dry. I’m never approached. I really don’t feel desired anymore. So thoughts are welcome?
Am I attractive? Why am I still single? Never approached?
You are made just fine so there are no issues there—I don’t judge looks because individual perceptions are unique and a generalization is misleading. You mentioned in replies that you are shy and that usually wouldn’t matter, I’ll get back to that. I avoided this question for a while just assuming it was another attention seeker, but given the replies I no longer believe that so I thought about it a bit. I kept looking at the two photos and rejected many other thoughts but one began to linger and finally became clear. You appear to be taken! You dress very comfortable and just appear as you are already with someone. I can’t completely describe how I arrived at that but in both photos, you have that very comfortable and content look as I always sense with women either dating a long time or are married. Some of it is dress and some is in your face and facial features. Now, couple that with shyness and if someone seeks a cue from you to build some context, say for an approach, you most likely, pull away confirming his suspicion that you are with someone. If the approach-ee (you) doesn’t give the approach-er some context, then the only ones likely to approach are the a-holes that just don’t give a crap—I know that all too well, been there done that. This opinion is contingent on you aren’t too picky, overly fussy, too mentally distant, or etc.
Whenever women ask this question, "Why am I still single?," the same three questions will go through smart men's minds:
1. What kind of men are you desiring or going after? In both looks and personality. 2. Who are the men that you are frequently turning down or rejecting? (Young women ALWAYS have men chasing them.) 3. What can you, or will you, bring to a relationship? Why should a man choose you?
I'm surprised if even 20% of these supposed "single women" can ever answer one question without sounding entitled and/or lazy. So, assuming you are neither entitled or lazy, I'd like you to answer the three (+) questions above.
You are an average-looking woman in good health who seems to be Christian and (from judging your pictures) aren't slutty or look like they have an attitude. Someone like you should have no problem being married by now. So the issue is more than likely, you. If you were a man, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it's bad luck, or a shallow dating pool, or something. But you don't have any glaring flaws. The issue, statistically, has to be with what you're doing wrong. And with (young, fit) women, there's ALWAYS something they're doing wrong.
Yeah it would be nice to know what I was doing wrong. I feel like I have had a hard time holding up a conversation with men. I also have regret for turning down a couple good men when my ex kept trying to stay In touch with me. That was my fault. But I’ve learned my lesson
Well, as long as you're trying to do better and aren't just expecting some millionaire prince to come along and ask him to marry you, then you should be okay. I notice you didn't answer the questions, though.
You're pretty and put-together. You should initiate a bit. Guys today feel like the dating landscape is... complicated, dangerous, crickets for them... take your pick. So many words apply. Seems like the only solution is for girls to start taking the reins sometimes. At least then the guy will know you are interested in getting to know him. Up until now, it's been difficult for them to know, and they aren't playing Russian Roulette anymore. They think they could lose their job or get thrown in jail or something (which I don't believe is happening much at all, but it's what they think.)
You seem to ask this question from time to time. This one was asked over a year ago. And the 2nd one only 2 months ago. Are you not getting enough attention or are you simply trolling by asking the same question over and over?
@JuliaStyle I don’t think she is trolling. She probably didn’t get a good enough answer yet, and questions really aren’t as easily found on recent questions after a while. I think that the deal should be that we give her a challenge to confess her feelings and crush for whoever she has a crush on, and even ask them out. Now if a girl still lives with her parents, and her parents are conservatives, it would be reasonable for her to fear asking a guy out because then if they are together, and are home dining, and then the parents ask how did they get to know each other and how did they get together, well, the parents will be giving her a frowning face a lot more frequently. And I will tell you that some conservatives are very pushy of their ideas, as well as quite/very judgmental. But if a gir still lives alone, she will be less likely to fear what her parents could think of her, and if they are judgmental, well, they are likely signing up to get their daughter to not want to talk to them again or maybe not more often than rarely, except if she still holds some traditional values, she will not want to walk in the wedding without her father walking her to her fiancé. But the new fashion, which I consider to be cool, is the bride’s parents to walk her to the center from one end and the groom’s parents walking him to the center from the opposite end as they prepare to release their child and give the child to the child’s fiancé to officially get married.
Something I didn't see anyone else say, that a lot of girls don't know, is that it genuinely might be because you ARE very attractive.
Yeah, Barbie E-girls get 1000 fanboys messaging them every day, but that isn't just because they are pretty. It's because they seek that affection and guys assume they will respond to it.
You are extremely attractive, but you don't give off that vibe at all. Guys are actually just as intimated by attractive girls as girls are by attractive guys, we just aren't allowed to show it or we get written off.
A lot of guys probably see you, think you are fantastic, and never mention it at all because they assume you can have whoever you want so you probably already do. Most guys aren't like to ask a girl out if they perceive a high chance of rejection. You look like someone who is likely to be more reserved and less interested in being fan boyed over. That is actually a huge plus for a lot of guys, but we are likely to think we don't have a chance with you and not ask you out in the first place.
Also, this is my assumption, but I would guess you aren't much of a flirt, so there isn't a good way for guys to know you are actually interested in them, which makes them even less likely to ask you.
My advice is that the ball is in your court. You are definitely attractive. Guys assume you can have whoever you want so we aren't likely to make the first move. Don't be afraid to let a guy know you like him, or tell him he should take you on a date. Worst he can say is no, and most guys won't hold it against you even then.
But I bet most guys would say yes.
Truth is it might not be what you are doing wrong. It might be what you are doing right. Guys perceive you as sour grapes. (Too high to reach, so they write you off as not worth reaching for assuming it will only lead to disappointment)
Let them know you are available, and you'll probably have a waiting list.
Well I agree with @convo_king89. Being isn't the whole package. But another caveat is being attractive in photos vs real life doesn't depict the face you carry around with you regularly. Now I'm not saying that your pics are giving off catfish vibes lol. What I'm suggesting to why you may not be getting approached is because maybe you look like you don't want to be approached or bothered while out. Do you look stressed, busy, "rested bitch face", or possibly insecure? These are just a few cues that your body language convey to others as unapproachable or for you to go unnoticed. So given this new day in age of empowered females. I implore you to do a real simple social experiment and update us at as you go. You should begin to approach guys. Not any particular type of guy. Not saying approach only guys you find attractive but any guys. Guys you see walking or sitting alone and strike up a brief conversation. Talk to 3 first day (Tuesday), 5 the next (Thursday) and last day (Saturday) ask a guy out. It could be for companionship or the beginning of the end of your lonely days wondering WHY?
Well, you are not unfortunate, I will tell you that. Love comes in its right time. Those who look for love will unfortunately find fake love. But it doesn’t mean you can’t ask if you are interested. If there is a guy you have interest on, don’t wait for him to ask and don’t be afraid to ask him out. The worst you can get is the response of him saying no. The societal expectation of women never asking out or the frowning upon on women doing so is outdated and bogus. It should have never been a thing, and today less people frown at it than ever before. It’s 2021, not 1921. Go ahead, and get out of your comfort zone. You happen to be born in the same year I was, and funny fact about me is I have never had a real love yet. I had a few crushes and well, I can’t lie about the fact that I was with someone when I was very young but the separation was caused by moving elsewhere. But yeah, be yourself, don’t change yourself into someone you’re not for someone else, and the right guy will respect you for who you are.
1. You are average looking. 2. You can easily find men to have sex with, with your looks. 3. It's hard to find partners who want serious long term relationships these days. That goes for both genders. Men have a fear of commitment and women overvalue themselves. 4. See if you are not overvaluing yourself. 5. See if you are actually after men who want to commit and that you aren't after "fixing" a promiscuous Chad to stay with you. 6. Start approaching men you find attractive.
Unfortunately you’re looking for opinion from men and the ones who have replied are truly reaching for the stars in jumping to conclusions about you, based off a question and like 2 pictures - which doesn’t make any sense to me. I hope a guy who is a bit more down to earth and helpful answers you too.
From my perspective, I think it’s more about the environments you put yourself in. Are men around? (At work, when you’re out with friends/hobbies/other activities). Is it relatively open/casual enough for them to approach you? Are you active on dating app/sites? And do you reply to messages with substance?
As nice as it would be just to have a guy show up out of nowhere lol, you do need to do your part in putting yourself out there. Because from what I see you are attractive, so it’s not like you give reason for guys to run from you based off your looks. Hang in there!
At a young age girls are imprinted that they deserve male attention to affirm their attractiveness.
In reality, players often shoot for the hottest girl in the friend group and only approach groups that seem really open to strangers. So by this logic, you can still be attractive, but perhaps around another women that is just more eye catching. Or when you go out, you and your friends stick together, making it harder for a decent guy to approach.
Most normal guys don't just go up to random young ladies in public spaces unless she's 1) giving strong eye contact 2) not with male friends 3) smiling and looks in the mood to chat with a stranger.
I would suggest trying things without your friends, which forces you to be more approachable (there's no one to lean on socially). Try a dance class or get into a unisex hobby. Single men will love a woman that is willing to try something by herself.
Based on my experiences, observations spanning many generations, including knowing women decades older, who I've seen when younger, you appear (come off) like the type of woman who will ultimately get clingy, start nit-picking, and want control over choices in buying, design.
You appear, to me, based on past patterns, which are all I can go on having not met you, like you're insecure, and have a constant need to control things around you to make yourself happy, which you try to hide at first, because you want others to like you, thus come off free-spirited, smiling, carefully crafted image, maybe not lying, but presenting chosen parts of yourself, and confused by pseudo-attention online into thinking you should be getting far more attention, thus creating confusion.
None of this is an attack, as I don't know you, just observation from those photos.
Not sure then, my instincts aren't as good online, as I have little to go on. Only other thought I have is, by experience and observation, maybe you come off uninterested then, lots of introverts I meet tend to keep to themselves, but outer signals give off the message "don't talk to me", if your head is buried in books, phone, headphones, etc., or your answers to people are short and direct.
Ask yourself, from your targeted audience's perspective "Why would they seek to spend time with YOU in particular, than any OTHER male or female?" ( EVERY female starts out with the SAME plumbed Divine 'franchise').
YOU have NO 'monopoly' and approximately 435 Ova til menopause ) so you must 'build YOUR 'brand'.
Life mostly poses the SAME challenges for EVERY lifeform... what do YOU bring to a partnering 'pot luck'? And, what do YOU desire in return? The rest is 'merchandising' and haggling for the best return on YOUR investment! Meanwhile perceived 'beauty' and 'fecundity' are time-sensitive and perishable resources.
Stop thinking in terms of how your life choices make YOU happy... what 'persona' can you manifest to intrigue YOUR preferred audience! Think like a fisherwoman and CATCH your CHOSEN audience's attention ~ Few fish bite at an unbaited hook
When it comes to being a treasure you truly are & so much more you probably are as well. As for being single you are not alone & in fact a lot of people are in the same boat. As for me I always say I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning on a submarine then to find that one special someone but when I think about it lightning can strike & when you least expect it love can kick you in the ass. On the other hand you say you are never approached & when it comes to love maybe sometimes you have to turn the table & approach.
You have a cuteness to you. It is a fairly commonplace for people in their mid-late twenties and older to think there is something wrong with them because they are still single. People need to understand that the right person takes TIME to come across. Plus, there are people out there who the one upstairs didn't destine to call to matrimony.
I have said this on other GAG posts, but you need to stop thinking about HAVING to have a relationship. It is a thought that quickly turns unhealthily obsessive, and as I have said, there is a chance you are one not destined to date because you are not being called to the married life. Just keep living your life, find more hobbies and move on with life.
Maybe you should ask men and women who are married or in long term relationships. I noticed many are kinda just in the ropes or single on here.
For me I feel like you need to try to be a little more social and break out of your shell a bit, you can still be shy and do not have to be an open book, just do not let your shyness take from your ability to be social.
You have to remember that you are a stranger to a lot of men and they like a girl to not be afraid to talk and simply socialize a bit. This allows them to approach a women and get to know her better, men ease drop just as much as women, human curiosity. (Hence the spark up of small talk and conversations)
This will help you feel more confident and men will feel you are more approachable instead of unavailable may that interest be as friends, an acquaintance, or love interest.
You are very attractive , maybe you hold back a lot and don’t have much confidence in yourself or your preferences of what you like are too high , or you can just be quiet and look like you are thinking to much leaving guys clueless on whether you find them attractive or not , So look wise you have nothing to worry about you have beautiful eyes and smile and a nice body , so lower your preference list and be a little more outgoing , when people make a l list of preferences on what they are attracted to , more times then none they will be left hanging and still single , Girl’s have a tendency to compare , so stop doing that and accept some flaws nobody is perfect
Cute enough. Tho I'll say. You smiling in this photo feels like the only time you smile. Like it's put on here and that the rest of your life you carry yourself with a more prickly demeanor.
Like how often do you make eye contact with people vs avoiding eye contact? How often do you smile both just because or smile at other? Do you have more upright posture or do you slump your shoulders like a lot of girls?
These things all play a factor. The body language of a girl who is shy and a girl who is stuck up is very similar. Consider you might be doing little things that make the idea of talking to you seem like it might not go well or be a negative experience.
As a guy if a girl clearly looks pissed off, annoyed, bothered, whatever. We don't want to talk to you and deal with that.
I'm sorry, but I just do not believe you when you claim you've never been approached. That's just not possible. There are so many horny, desperate males in the world today, men who will do anything for anyone just to receive a smile from a girl or woman who is even just a five out of ten. The fact that you are female is enough to attract the opposite sex, and a woman doesn't even need to be attractive (although you are).
It's may be bcz you don't approach to the guy or have trust issues or ignore the conversation with strange people
And more importantly if someone see you may be they fall in love with you at first but they never approach you, you why bcz
Look at you, you are one of the rare creation of God and limited edition version may be every one can't afford it ,""THEY MUST HAVE THINK SHE (YOU) MUST HAVE boyfriend OR COMMITTED TO SOMEONE "" bcz you are so perfect , so go and approach them and prove them wrong you are single and you still have chance on my charm ❤️❤️😂
Best of luck , let me know when you find the guy so i can be feel broken 💔 😂😂
Danielle, you seem like a catch for any guy. I might recommend trying to go the dating app route.. a girl like you is often respected to a point that no one wants to step out of bounds by asking you out if you’re not interested. This is often the case with people who seem very together and wholesome. -people don’t want to ruin your opinion of them by coming off as disrespectful or creepy.. putting yourself in an environment established for dating purposes opens the door to those types of conversations. When I tried people I already knew saw me on the app and reached out asking if I’d want to connect. It’s all about positioning your self in a way that notifies those around you that you are looking
I think you are beautiful. Your dms are probably dry because your pics come off as not attention seeking. Many of those dms that women get are just men trying to have sex with them. You come off as classy in my opinion. You will find someone
Yeah that's kind of weird isn't it I look at you and I look into your eyes I can tell you pretty deep you're a very good person you're very beautiful heart and you have dancer legs you have beautiful legs beautiful eyes nice lips nice body I really can't believe somebody hasn't approached you I can feel your energy from here and you're hot there has to be a reason
Now all you have to do is believe in it and believe in yourself and everything else will come together fill it with inside let it become a part of you and you will just blossom I already see you doing that but I don't know if you do
Well, what are you doing? Existing isn't good enough, you have to flirt, you have to make yourself approachable, you have to put yourself in a position to be approached, you have to have body language that tells men its okay to approach you, you have to be in an area where their are men to approach you etc. etc. So are you doing any of those things?
You didn't really post a pic of yourself did you? It's time to take a look at your personality. You have to BE a friend to HAVE a friend. So far, you only focus on YOU. Never once did you ever consider what you would do for your man, or what you bring of high-value to a relationship. It's just all ME ME ME. Even your question is all about you. This makes you undateable.
It sounds like I’m being self-centered but the point of the post was to address the issue because I’m open to others thoughts and growth. Secondly, I’ve always felt like it’s not so much my place to approach men because of the family I was raised in and how I often assume men aren’t interested in me.
"... how I often assume..." And there ya go. It's not about 'approaching men', it's about being approachable. About being a good sounding board, about showing interest and desire. You feign incompetence, but my bet is you know exactly how to seduce a man. You just choose not to, for whatever reason.
So, tell us... what value you DO you bring? Cuz it's not empathy - every woman has that. And it's not your golden vagina. Every woman has one of those. So what exactly is it? You need to be able articulate this, cuz a high-value guy will expect it.
Do you adore men? Do you know how to KEEP a man? Do you know what a man needs?
You look quite average and have some physical features people might dislike such as very thin eyebrows and large square jaw. Of course in terms of personality I don't know anything about you but maybe it's due to you giving off vibes that you're not available. Don't expect men to do all the approaching because we don't live in the feudal times anymore and that kind of attitude reeks of narcissism.
Do you work with men or go places that you can be around guys in a social atmosphere? Physically I think most men would find you attractive so I can only imagine you aren't meeting people or maybe your a quiet person. Don't be afraid to make the first move either.
Yeah, I’m more on the quiet side. There are times where I feel more bold and talk to guys but I feel, they just aren’t interested or something. I tried messaging this guy from church group on Facebook once after we all hung out in a group and he said he’d love to hang out sometime after I conveyed some interest. Then the next week I saw him at group and he barely looked in my direction and didn’t say a word and yet he was leading the group for that evening. Also, with work I tend to be alone a lot of the time as I primarily work from home since I’m a realtor and when I’m out working, I am primarily meeting married couples.
If I could I'd like to message you just to get to know you better. I think there is some good advice on here and unfortunately I think you are going to have to leave your comfort zone and initiate talking even just to make friends and see if you like them. Real estate is generally a good career and if you are quiet more times than not people sometimes get the wrong idea and think this is someone who is not interested in being friends. Guys can get weird when it comes to approaching an attractive successful woman. Regardless I hope things get better and you find what you are looking for
I hope I don't offend you but you do sound a little entitled. Like you should be desired, you should be approached and you should have a boyfriend. It feel to me like you are focusing on external factors to define you.
Yes you are pretty but just go out and meet people. Any guy you might like will have been swooped away by a woman not afraid to interact.
One last thing, I hope you aren't Dutch. I kinda always feel like it is embarrassing to act like a tourist in the tulip fields.
guys are probably intimidated. you are quite pretty. most men nowadays meet their wives on okcupid and tinder. most men in our age group are too scared nowadays. most of the braves ones are above the age of 40.
You are beautiful and look very approachable with your smile, so your appearance has nothing to do with it. It's been very difficult to meet people the last year with COVID-19. Hopefully that will improve so you can get out into the world and meet new people.
How about using an online dating site (but not a hook-up site)? Make a good profile with a variety of photos, explain who you are, what is important to you, and what you’re looking for, and see what happens. You might find a good match easily. If you don’t like the sort of men your age who match with you, you can consider men a bit older than you if you are willing to.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. You seem quite attractive to me. It could be due to issues with your personality (though this is unclear I don't know you). You could be consciously or subconsciously telling people to go away. To some extent it could be male insecurity, but many men don't have that problem, and the common denominator is you.
Approaching people and small talk isn't my strong suit. It isn't easy for some people to walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation and keep it going. Especially if it's a cute woman around my age. I've tried several times in my life though. You are attractive and I like how you do your hair by the way 🙂. Hopefully the right guy comes your way someday.
The girl in the photos have been approached hundreds of times. When pretty girls say they are not approached, what they really mean is they are not approached by the super hot guys they want and approaches by all the other guys don't count.
@DWornock This right here! Exactly! Women who look like her get approached several times a week. But if the guy is under six feet tall, or less than an 8 out of 10 in looks, it "doesn't count, because they're 'creeps'."
If you look like the girl in the photos, you cannot go to a club without being asked to dance not can you go out in public for more than a couple of hours without being approached unless you glare at everyone that appears to want to. When you claim otherwise, that is a strong indication, that anyone attempting to approach you that doesn't have moviestar looks, in your mind, doesn't count.
Yes you are. But me being me, would I approach you? I don't know, if we somehow get a random conversation going I would talk to you, but I wouldn't say I'm the type of person that purposely goes out to hit on women? Sounds bad putting it like that haha
Based on looks alone, I do not see a problem, you are an attractive woman.
Could depend on where you live, how much you socialize and how you act when men are in close proximity to you.
Personally I think you are attractive. I would approach you and start a friendly conversation. If I got good signals from you then I would ask for your number and later arrange a date.
Definitely.. both 'You' and your 'Camera Quality' are Supperbb😃😅 Being single is just your choice. You are single bcz you are looking for a serious relationship, right? Otherwise there are a lot of guys who are willing for relationship, with any girl..🤷♂️ It's really hard to believe that you were never approached.
Oh, this is an easy one! You're too prim and proper looking. You give off a super "good girl" innocent vibe. I find you attractive, but there's no way I would ever feel like I could be myself around you.
I’m pretty chill when you get to know me. I don’t judge harshly and I’m open minded. I just like to present myself with class and integrity. And stay true to my values.
I'm sure you're a cool person, but you asked why guys don't approach you and that's just going by surface level judgements. My guess is that they don't approach you because your marketing materials don't have a care-free vibe.
Online dating is delusional, there's no hope in it. Did your parents raise you to be a wife? If so ask your father what good men want from women. If they didn't raise you to be a wife, you have to do the work before its too late
Welcome to what it's like to be a guy. Maybe it's time you begin to think about putting in some effort. Looks alone will only get you so far until they stop producing returns and clearly you've hit that point.
You look pretty good. However looks by itself won’t win any hearts. If you really want someone to notice you and show interest, I suggest you to do some approaching yourself. It’s the best way to let someone know what sort of person you are and let’s the person know you are interested in them.
Are you approachable? Friendly when you’re out? Smile a lot? Do you put yourself in positions to be approached? Physically you are very attractive, but it takes more than that for guys to put themselves out there these days.
There is nothing wrong with you. You apparently have not put yourself out there. I tell you what. Register yourself on badoo. com, get a premium membership, and purchase around 1,200 points for "exposure"(like marketing yourself). Use around 300 points for that maximum exposure. I guarantee you will have tons of likes and men who will want to date you in the same C. I. T. Y.!
But then I un-followed you for a very specific and repulsive reason!..
I don't remember why.. But I only unfollow when girls has a major red flag or something really messed up..
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sorry but the hours of operation for the egoboost hotline are Monday through Friday 12am to 6am saturdays from 11pm to 7am and sundays from 1am to 5am. we're closed during holidays. if you would like for some thirsty simp on this shithole site to get back in touch with you please leave us your name and social media user handle and some thirsty simp will get back in touch with you the following business day
So many simps on here. Smh. you're average at best. So get over that. Being "attractive" isn't going to land you a man. You're also fast approaching the wall at 30. Get out there. Talk to people. Say hi to men you meet. Go to social events.
I see. Yeah, I consider myself to be a fairly humble person so I know not everyone will feel the same attraction wise. I feel I am a kind, very loyal, and even bubbly person when you get to know me.
Have you tried different churches? Attend a service at different church to increase your networking potential. Try a dating site with Christian filters, like Hinge.
I can almost guarantee, based on these photos (expression, clothing, etc.), @daniellep1995's got a personality conflict, is often extremely horny/sexual (urges, etc.), but restrained by her beliefs, and presents a different image outside than the one in her head, just based on meeting many people.
Also, you do understand this is an opinion site, where I'm entitled to give myperspective, which I make clear is just mine, yet you respond like an authoritarian despot by trying to attack, shame, and call me all sorts of names, while, again not insulting, just being as objective as possible, you sound like an inarticulate child, unable to form a rational reply, or control impulses (definitely evidence of lacking there when you explode on random people on the internet to that degree for simply posting a comment) throwing a tantrum because someone expressed their own personal beliefs, as if you should be entitled to control what they say and do, so you're left to throw insults... I will now allow you space to throw more subjective insults at me below:
So demanding & obsessed with controlling others. Apologies as I wasn't aware the job of my actions was to please you, would you like me to suck your cock as well? lol. Who knows, given my LGBT affiliations I might enjoy it.
Yeah but you’re probably not in a metropolitan area and not often going to be approached, guys are intimidated by attractive women. I would go for you but I’m too old now and probably not anywhere near you
Id suggest going for a more natural look. Some make-up and hairstyles just give people the impression your older. Powder especially makes me think older, while a braid or ponytail just says casual and easygoing. You look great, show it off!
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