I’m 26 as of right now and am just trying to figure out why I’m still single. My messages are so dry. I’m never approached. I really don’t feel desired anymore. So thoughts are welcome?
Am I attractive? Why am I still single? Never approached?
You are made just fine so there are no issues there—I don’t judge looks because individual perceptions are unique and a generalization is misleading. You mentioned in replies that you are shy and that usually wouldn’t matter, I’ll get back to that. I avoided this question for a while just assuming it was another attention seeker, but given the replies I no longer believe that so I thought about it a bit. I kept looking at the two photos and rejected many other thoughts but one began to linger and finally became clear. You appear to be taken! You dress very comfortable and just appear as you are already with someone. I can’t completely describe how I arrived at that but in both photos, you have that very comfortable and content look as I always sense with women either dating a long time or are married. Some of it is dress and some is in your face and facial features. Now, couple that with shyness and if someone seeks a cue from you to build some context, say for an approach, you most likely, pull away confirming his suspicion that you are with someone. If the approach-ee (you) doesn’t give the approach-er some context, then the only ones likely to approach are the a-holes that just don’t give a crap—I know that all too well, been there done that. This opinion is contingent on you aren’t too picky, overly fussy, too mentally distant, or etc.
Whenever women ask this question, "Why am I still single?," the same three questions will go through smart men's minds:
1. What kind of men are you desiring or going after? In both looks and personality. 2. Who are the men that you are frequently turning down or rejecting? (Young women ALWAYS have men chasing them.) 3. What can you, or will you, bring to a relationship? Why should a man choose you?
I'm surprised if even 20% of these supposed "single women" can ever answer one question without sounding entitled and/or lazy. So, assuming you are neither entitled or lazy, I'd like you to answer the three (+) questions above.
You are an average-looking woman in good health who seems to be Christian and (from judging your pictures) aren't slutty or look like they have an attitude. Someone like you should have no problem being married by now. So the issue is more than likely, you. If you were a man, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it's bad luck, or a shallow dating pool, or something. But you don't have any glaring flaws. The issue, statistically, has to be with what you're doing wrong. And with (young, fit) women, there's ALWAYS something they're doing wrong.
Yeah it would be nice to know what I was doing wrong. I feel like I have had a hard time holding up a conversation with men. I also have regret for turning down a couple good men when my ex kept trying to stay In touch with me. That was my fault. But I’ve learned my lesson
Well, as long as you're trying to do better and aren't just expecting some millionaire prince to come along and ask him to marry you, then you should be okay. I notice you didn't answer the questions, though.
You're pretty and put-together. You should initiate a bit. Guys today feel like the dating landscape is... complicated, dangerous, crickets for them... take your pick. So many words apply. Seems like the only solution is for girls to start taking the reins sometimes. At least then the guy will know you are interested in getting to know him. Up until now, it's been difficult for them to know, and they aren't playing Russian Roulette anymore. They think they could lose their job or get thrown in jail or something (which I don't believe is happening much at all, but it's what they think.)
You seem to ask this question from time to time. This one was asked over a year ago. And the 2nd one only 2 months ago. Are you not getting enough attention or are you simply trolling by asking the same question over and over?
@JuliaStyle I don’t think she is trolling. She probably didn’t get a good enough answer yet, and questions really aren’t as easily found on recent questions after a while. I think that the deal should be that we give her a challenge to confess her feelings and crush for whoever she has a crush on, and even ask them out. Now if a girl still lives with her parents, and her parents are conservatives, it would be reasonable for her to fear asking a guy out because then if they are together, and are home dining, and then the parents ask how did they get to know each other and how did they get together, well, the parents will be giving her a frowning face a lot more frequently. And I will tell you that some conservatives are very pushy of their ideas, as well as quite/very judgmental. But if a gir still lives alone, she will be less likely to fear what her parents could think of her, and if they are judgmental, well, they are likely signing up to get their daughter to not want to talk to them again or maybe not more often than rarely, except if she still holds some traditional values, she will not want to walk in the wedding without her father walking her to her fiancé. But the new fashion, which I consider to be cool, is the bride’s parents to walk her to the center from one end and the groom’s parents walking him to the center from the opposite end as they prepare to release their child and give the child to the child’s fiancé to officially get married.
Something I didn't see anyone else say, that a lot of girls don't know, is that it genuinely might be because you ARE very attractive.
Yeah, Barbie E-girls get 1000 fanboys messaging them every day, but that isn't just because they are pretty. It's because they seek that affection and guys assume they will respond to it.
You are extremely attractive, but you don't give off that vibe at all. Guys are actually just as intimated by attractive girls as girls are by attractive guys, we just aren't allowed to show it or we get written off.
A lot of guys probably see you, think you are fantastic, and never mention it at all because they assume you can have whoever you want so you probably already do. Most guys aren't like to ask a girl out if they perceive a high chance of rejection. You look like someone who is likely to be more reserved and less interested in being fan boyed over. That is actually a huge plus for a lot of guys, but we are likely to think we don't have a chance with you and not ask you out in the first place.
Also, this is my assumption, but I would guess you aren't much of a flirt, so there isn't a good way for guys to know you are actually interested in them, which makes them even less likely to ask you.
My advice is that the ball is in your court. You are definitely attractive. Guys assume you can have whoever you want so we aren't likely to make the first move. Don't be afraid to let a guy know you like him, or tell him he should take you on a date. Worst he can say is no, and most guys won't hold it against you even then.
But I bet most guys would say yes.
Truth is it might not be what you are doing wrong. It might be what you are doing right. Guys perceive you as sour grapes. (Too high to reach, so they write you off as not worth reaching for assuming it will only lead to disappointment)
Let them know you are available, and you'll probably have a waiting list.
Well I agree with @convo_king89. Being isn't the whole package. But another caveat is being attractive in photos vs real life doesn't depict the face you carry around with you regularly. Now I'm not saying that your pics are giving off catfish vibes lol. What I'm suggesting to why you may not be getting approached is because maybe you look like you don't want to be approached or bothered while out. Do you look stressed, busy, "rested bitch face", or possibly insecure? These are just a few cues that your body language convey to others as unapproachable or for you to go unnoticed. So given this new day in age of empowered females. I implore you to do a real simple social experiment and update us at as you go. You should begin to approach guys. Not any particular type of guy. Not saying approach only guys you find attractive but any guys. Guys you see walking or sitting alone and strike up a brief conversation. Talk to 3 first day (Tuesday), 5 the next (Thursday) and last day (Saturday) ask a guy out. It could be for companionship or the beginning of the end of your lonely days wondering WHY?
Well, you are not unfortunate, I will tell you that. Love comes in its right time. Those who look for love will unfortunately find fake love. But it doesn’t mean you can’t ask if you are interested. If there is a guy you have interest on, don’t wait for him to ask and don’t be afraid to ask him out. The worst you can get is the response of him saying no. The societal expectation of women never asking out or the frowning upon on women doing so is outdated and bogus. It should have never been a thing, and today less people frown at it than ever before. It’s 2021, not 1921. Go ahead, and get out of your comfort zone. You happen to be born in the same year I was, and funny fact about me is I have never had a real love yet. I had a few crushes and well, I can’t lie about the fact that I was with someone when I was very young but the separation was caused by moving elsewhere. But yeah, be yourself, don’t change yourself into someone you’re not for someone else, and the right guy will respect you for who you are.
1. You are average looking. 2. You can easily find men to have sex with, with your looks. 3. It's hard to find partners who want serious long term relationships these days. That goes for both genders. Men have a fear of commitment and women overvalue themselves. 4. See if you are not overvaluing yourself. 5. See if you are actually after men who want to commit and that you aren't after "fixing" a promiscuous Chad to stay with you. 6. Start approaching men you find attractive.
Unfortunately you’re looking for opinion from men and the ones who have replied are truly reaching for the stars in jumping to conclusions about you, based off a question and like 2 pictures - which doesn’t make any sense to me. I hope a guy who is a bit more down to earth and helpful answers you too.
From my perspective, I think it’s more about the environments you put yourself in. Are men around? (At work, when you’re out with friends/hobbies/other activities). Is it relatively open/casual enough for them to approach you? Are you active on dating app/sites? And do you reply to messages with substance?
As nice as it would be just to have a guy show up out of nowhere lol, you do need to do your part in putting yourself out there. Because from what I see you are attractive, so it’s not like you give reason for guys to run from you based off your looks. Hang in there!
At a young age girls are imprinted that they deserve male attention to affirm their attractiveness.
In reality, players often shoot for the hottest girl in the friend group and only approach groups that seem really open to strangers. So by this logic, you can still be attractive, but perhaps around another women that is just more eye catching. Or when you go out, you and your friends stick together, making it harder for a decent guy to approach.
Most normal guys don't just go up to random young ladies in public spaces unless she's 1) giving strong eye contact 2) not with male friends 3) smiling and looks in the mood to chat with a stranger.
I would suggest trying things without your friends, which forces you to be more approachable (there's no one to lean on socially). Try a dance class or get into a unisex hobby. Single men will love a woman that is willing to try something by herself.
Based on my experiences, observations spanning many generations, including knowing women decades older, who I've seen when younger, you appear (come off) like the type of woman who will ultimately get clingy, start nit-picking, and want control over choices in buying, design.
You appear, to me, based on past patterns, which are all I can go on having not met you, like you're insecure, and have a constant need to control things around you to make yourself happy, which you try to hide at first, because you want others to like you, thus come off free-spirited, smiling, carefully crafted image, maybe not lying, but presenting chosen parts of yourself, and confused by pseudo-attention online into thinking you should be getting far more attention, thus creating confusion.
None of this is an attack, as I don't know you, just observation from those photos.
Not sure then, my instincts aren't as good online, as I have little to go on. Only other thought I have is, by experience and observation, maybe you come off uninterested then, lots of introverts I meet tend to keep to themselves, but outer signals give off the message "don't talk to me", if your head is buried in books, phone, headphones, etc., or your answers to people are short and direct.
Ask yourself, from your targeted audience's perspective "Why would they seek to spend time with YOU in particular, than any OTHER male or female?" ( EVERY female starts out with the SAME plumbed Divine 'franchise').
YOU have NO 'monopoly' and approximately 435 Ova til menopause ) so you must 'build YOUR 'brand'.
Life mostly poses the SAME challenges for EVERY lifeform... what do YOU bring to a partnering 'pot luck'? And, what do YOU desire in return? The rest is 'merchandising' and haggling for the best return on YOUR investment! Meanwhile perceived 'beauty' and 'fecundity' are time-sensitive and perishable resources.
Stop thinking in terms of how your life choices make YOU happy... what 'persona' can you manifest to intrigue YOUR preferred audience! Think like a fisherwoman and CATCH your CHOSEN audience's attention ~ Few fish bite at an unbaited hook
When it comes to being a treasure you truly are & so much more you probably are as well. As for being single you are not alone & in fact a lot of people are in the same boat. As for me I always say I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning on a submarine then to find that one special someone but when I think about it lightning can strike & when you least expect it love can kick you in the ass. On the other hand you say you are never approached & when it comes to love maybe sometimes you have to turn the table & approach.
You have a cuteness to you. It is a fairly commonplace for people in their mid-late twenties and older to think there is something wrong with them because they are still single. People need to understand that the right person takes TIME to come across. Plus, there are people out there who the one upstairs didn't destine to call to matrimony.
I have said this on other GAG posts, but you need to stop thinking about HAVING to have a relationship. It is a thought that quickly turns unhealthily obsessive, and as I have said, there is a chance you are one not destined to date because you are not being called to the married life. Just keep living your life, find more hobbies and move on with life.
Maybe you should ask men and women who are married or in long term relationships. I noticed many are kinda just in the ropes or single on here.
For me I feel like you need to try to be a little more social and break out of your shell a bit, you can still be shy and do not have to be an open book, just do not let your shyness take from your ability to be social.
You have to remember that you are a stranger to a lot of men and they like a girl to not be afraid to talk and simply socialize a bit. This allows them to approach a women and get to know her better, men ease drop just as much as women, human curiosity. (Hence the spark up of small talk and conversations)
This will help you feel more confident and men will feel you are more approachable instead of unavailable may that interest be as friends, an acquaintance, or love interest.
Cute enough. Tho I'll say. You smiling in this photo feels like the only time you smile. Like it's put on here and that the rest of your life you carry yourself with a more prickly demeanor.
Like how often do you make eye contact with people vs avoiding eye contact? How often do you smile both just because or smile at other? Do you have more upright posture or do you slump your shoulders like a lot of girls?
These things all play a factor. The body language of a girl who is shy and a girl who is stuck up is very similar. Consider you might be doing little things that make the idea of talking to you seem like it might not go well or be a negative experience.
As a guy if a girl clearly looks pissed off, annoyed, bothered, whatever. We don't want to talk to you and deal with that.
You are very attractive , maybe you hold back a lot and don’t have much confidence in yourself or your preferences of what you like are too high , or you can just be quiet and look like you are thinking to much leaving guys clueless on whether you find them attractive or not , So look wise you have nothing to worry about you have beautiful eyes and smile and a nice body , so lower your preference list and be a little more outgoing , when people make a l list of preferences on what they are attracted to , more times then none they will be left hanging and still single , Girl’s have a tendency to compare , so stop doing that and accept some flaws nobody is perfect
I'm sorry, but I just do not believe you when you claim you've never been approached. That's just not possible. There are so many horny, desperate males in the world today, men who will do anything for anyone just to receive a smile from a girl or woman who is even just a five out of ten. The fact that you are female is enough to attract the opposite sex, and a woman doesn't even need to be attractive (although you are).
It's may be bcz you don't approach to the guy or have trust issues or ignore the conversation with strange people
And more importantly if someone see you may be they fall in love with you at first but they never approach you, you why bcz
Look at you, you are one of the rare creation of God and limited edition version may be every one can't afford it ,""THEY MUST HAVE THINK SHE (YOU) MUST HAVE boyfriend OR COMMITTED TO SOMEONE "" bcz you are so perfect , so go and approach them and prove them wrong you are single and you still have chance on my charm ❤️❤️😂
Best of luck , let me know when you find the guy so i can be feel broken 💔 😂😂
Danielle, you seem like a catch for any guy. I might recommend trying to go the dating app route.. a girl like you is often respected to a point that no one wants to step out of bounds by asking you out if you’re not interested. This is often the case with people who seem very together and wholesome. -people don’t want to ruin your opinion of them by coming off as disrespectful or creepy.. putting yourself in an environment established for dating purposes opens the door to those types of conversations. When I tried people I already knew saw me on the app and reached out asking if I’d want to connect. It’s all about positioning your self in a way that notifies those around you that you are looking
I think you are beautiful. Your dms are probably dry because your pics come off as not attention seeking. Many of those dms that women get are just men trying to have sex with them. You come off as classy in my opinion. You will find someone
Yeah that's kind of weird isn't it I look at you and I look into your eyes I can tell you pretty deep you're a very good person you're very beautiful heart and you have dancer legs you have beautiful legs beautiful eyes nice lips nice body I really can't believe somebody hasn't approached you I can feel your energy from here and you're hot there has to be a reason
Now all you have to do is believe in it and believe in yourself and everything else will come together fill it with inside let it become a part of you and you will just blossom I already see you doing that but I don't know if you do
