Is it shallow to dump your girlfriend/boyfriend if they become drug addicts?

Question

Or does that mean that you don't truly love them for who they are?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No of course not. A family friend of ours (a couple) have been together since the first year of university, the man smoked a pack a day, did drugs etc - however he is also super smart and a very good natured person. His girlfriend hated what he was doing with the smoking and the drugs and threatened to leave him if he continued. He said the day he graduated university he would never take anything again - and he did it. They are now in their late forties and have children together.

My point here is not about staying with someone no matter what. 'Ride or die' attitude is toxic, when you decide to spend your life with a person - you're accepting all of their flaws too of course - but that doesn't mean you should settle for less than you deserve. When they place their addiction as more important that you or say 'I can't' you may have to move on from them. Someone who truly loves you will make you their priority.

Gbear01 · Accepted Answer

How could that ever be shallow? Sometimes it sincerely hurts to see the people we love do something that could cost them their lives and it's not easy to be around. The real question is Do they really love you or themselves for that matter? If they're willing to risk their lives or hurt people who care about them by risking their lives, then maybe they're being a bit shallow. It's not wrong to want to break up with them, but that doesn't mean you can't be there for them. Sometimes what people really need is a friend more than an S. O. anyway.

Pasiton5 · Accepted Answer

Hell no it's good financial sense to do so plus unless you like being raided at 4am by cops and fees and fbi and drug dealers they owe money to then your good with them but if they can't say nope to dope ūgg to drugs then you better know how to say I'm going to store be right back and text them saying no need to wait up for me which won't get read till they are out of dope cause soon as you say I'll be, y their thoughts instantly why to just go so I can get high so high I want to f fly, well I would be humming that in my head if I got high, in flying so high this was a good buy not like the last batch which only took me to my feet, now I'm free free falling yeah baby,

Lliam · Accepted Answer

They are a path to self destruction. Being with you obviously didn't prevent that, so they need to work it out and possibly hit rock bottom. There is no point in going down with them. To do so might indicate a mental illness on your part. A person who persists in helping people, even to their own detriment, could be an enabler, codependent. or possibly a covert narcissist.

You can still like or love them. You can even try to help, but not as a life partner. You need to pursue a healthy, happy life without them.
It's absolutely not shallow to dump them as a partner. They took their path. You need to pursue yours.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

You cannot save the entire world and you can’t change somebody not interested in changing themselves, as much as you care for them, you have to put yourself first.

Account · Answer

It is never shallow wanting to protect yourself and putting yourself as a priority. You are under no obligation to save anyone and that is something I need to remind myself more often too.

SecretsofKB · Answer

Drug addiction doesn't just affect the person addicted. It affects everyone that's close to them. And it hurts all the way to rock bottom. So it definitely is not shallow.

SunnyFlorida · Answer

It's not "shallow" to dump someone for becoming a drug addict. If its Marijuana or something mild like that, you can probably salvage the relationship. If they are addicted to hardcore drugs, like heroin, crack, PCP, etc., I would find a new person to date. Drug addicts will often pull down the people around them, you will find jewelry and cash go missing... and then lie to you about it.

Or maybe they leave drugs in your car and you get arrest for possession of drugs - don't give police permission to search your vehicle.

Interstate · Answer

No. For one, if he gets busted, you stand a chance of going down with him, all because he mentioned your name. Also, the life of an addict consists of them committing to their substance rather than their S. O or Spouse. If you stayed with him, in the long run you will be no priority to him, as getting high will be all he will care about. It would be time to break fee and move on with life!

queenkitty7 · Answer

Nope not shallow. You don't want to get sucked into the drama and the stress. Being a drug addict is not a personality trait. So it's not who they really are. But it's very draining on you as well. I have left men for being addicts, and I haven't dated one since. Never looked back

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

It is honestly a normal reaction because what happened if your drugged boyfriend or girlfriend end up putting you in a dangerous situation. Or you know what happened if they started abusing you and logically they wasn't aware because they were high off drugs.

Coulis · Answer

No, of course it isn't. By dumping them you are preventing being exposed to a whole host of volatility and all the shady characters and dangerous predicaments that follow a drug-addicted person. Drugs impair judgement where grown adults have worse decision making skills than children.

Say sayonara.

Aquariusmystery · Answer

I’m not putting up with that shit. I don’t care how much I love someone. Seen it all and I’m not putting myself through that because I love them

Pj1981 · Answer

Look I have been the drug addict so I personally would never blame someone who isn't willing to go through hell with me and I wouldn't expect them to either. However anyone who loves an addict enough to get through it with them, encouraging them to get better is someone to quit for, turn things around for and to give your very best for.

magiusX26 · Answer

so what's next, gonna ask simular if they are stuff like serial killers, rapusts, child molesters, or some other such? of course its not shallow. in this case its nothing of "loving them for who they are" since you stated "became" an addict indicating that they were not when the two of you started out together which also meabs they are no longer the same person anymore.

slatyb · Answer

Shallow? Not at all. You don't owe your life to someone just because you are currently in a relationship with them. Addiction is sad. So is mental illness. But if someone is unable to be a partner, there's no obligation to continue the relationship.

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

No it's not shallow, you can still be there and help them in other ways, but if you try to hold on you'll both drown. It's a battle he has to fight, you can help but you can't do it for him. Sometimes the best way to help is to leave it alone.

Anonymous · Answer

No, I have been down that road with some before. Porn addicts I would dump.

FreyaRed · Answer

No. Read "Games people play" (part about alcohol addiction) and you will know why you should dump addicts immediately. This book explains why you will be always part of the problem, not the solution.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Develop a problem? Yes. Refuse to get help? No. Become dangerous because of it? Not in the least. It's one thing if someone is fighting a bad craving. It's another when they lose their soul and become a threat.

Anonymous · Answer

No if he or she are a lost cause. They can be aggressive on their partner like beating and torture due to drug. Shit, I even read some news in my place where this one guy just slaughter his parents because they do not give him the money to buy drug. Dumping him or her is not shallow but also for their own safety. Unless she or he really tried to stop then you should give him/her some chances. Some gain strength from their partner to combat their drug addict.

muscularbumblebee · Answer

No, it more you’re trying to do what’s right to separate yourself from that lifestyle and help yourself not become one also. It’s a shame if she chose that but you aren’t required to help her. After a while it’s good to realise you come first

backblueblack22 · Answer

Your are justified to end the relationship. But you do it very tactfully and with care. Even offer to give them help (take them to a AA meeting) but make it clear that the relationship is off the table.

JosyJosy · Answer

No, that's not a life choice you signed up for, seeing your partner go to ruin

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

Nope don't wait for things to get worse. You can help them but being in a relationship with them is a bad decision.

karaspara · Answer

If you try to help them and support them but they keep relapsing and ruining both your lives to leave is not shallow

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

No. In the end, you have to decide what's best for you, and if that means cutting people out of your life, sometimes that has to be done

cute_kitty12 · Answer

Yes, in a way it's shallow, but I also don't blame you. People who are on drugs tend to have a negative impact on relationships.
But if it were me personally I wouldn't do that but I do understand why someone would do that

Kaneki05 · Answer

It's not shallow. But tbh i wouldn't leave them for that reason alone. It would be the stuff like if she tries to steal off me to buy them that would make me leave.

Browneye57 · Answer

Not shallow, prudent is more like it.
This is not YOUR problem, it's theirs. You can't fix it, it's not your responsibility, and you're not their mommy. Find a quality person to date that doesn't have all these problems.

DarkCarousel · Answer

No. That’s not shallow. Dumping them doesn’t mean you no longer love them. Addiction is cruel and ugly.

SwedishTwizz · Answer

Not shallow at all why should we deal with someone who don't care about their own life

SomeTrashBag · Answer

Drug addiction ruins the lives of the addict and often many people around them. It's normal to want to end the relationship. If they are incapable to stopping they're too far gone, It's a sad situation for all involved.

Lillie_xo · Answer

i dont see how it could be, drug addiction is like really a whole thing. (⌣_⌣”)

Lochlan · Answer

Bunch of hypocrites on here addicted to sugar, coffee, and water. Water has an overdose limit, wake up puritanical sheeple.

Bandit74 · Answer

Compared to all the other things we reject eachother for, drug use is by far one of the least shallow reasons.

pink_and_inlove · Answer

No of course not that is the correct thing to do for yourself

bolverk · Answer

Just because they want to destroy their lives through drugs use, doesn't mean that you are bound to them, personally they relation ship would end the first day I found out about their drug use.

007kingifrit · Answer

the term shallow implies physical characteristics are the motivation. drug use is far mroe than just a physical characteristic its a sign of morality failing

Anonymous · Answer

My mom left both her ex husbands because they became alcoholics

ElizaPam · Answer

Nah drugs feel good as fuck you’ll have the best sex on an upper

exitseven · Answer

If it at the point that they are addicted to a drug, they are already gone.

iammaria · Answer

Nah. If it affects the person they love then its ok to leave them

Twalli · Answer

If they are truly in love with you they shouldn't really need to do drugs. Drugs fill a void someone hasin their life, so should a boyfriend/girlfriend

cth96190 · Answer

Drug use is an instant and non-negotiable deal breaker.

Anonymous · Answer

Not shallow, being with a drug addict is so hard. Why go through with that when you shouldn't?

Anonymous · Answer

No it is not shallow but i personally try my best to help him but if he did not get better, i would leave him for my mental health

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

To an extent, you should always help your partner when they're going through harsh times. If you give up on them early, you're a weak person.

Schizoaffective · Answer

How is that shallow You're self preserving yourself

Smegskull · Answer

I think it's fair to have a standard of behavior to expect from a partner. An addict by definition has an uncontrollable behavior.

Asianguy123 · Answer

It’s the opposite. I had experience with people with drug habit. They just don’t stop messing around and they have no future.

robocop666 · Answer

offer them help then if they refuse then dump them. What is it heroin? thats a drug done by idiots

Anonymous · Answer

Drug addicts can ruin the lives of everyone they are around.

worldscolide · Answer

No, you don't need that kind of shit in your life.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

No. Drugs are bad mmmmmmkay

Wise4myage · Answer

Sounds very logical to me.

es20490446e · Answer

No, it's called having standards.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

This is a joke question right

Anonymous · Answer

Give them an ultimatum, come clean or break up.

Oceation · Answer

No? Wtf

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on what kind of drug he's taking

Babygirl_S · Answer

Absolutely!

JesseJayNeak · Answer

No, it's not

Open2It · Answer

Not at all

Is it shallow to dump your girlfriend/boyfriend if they become drug addicts?

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Is it shallow to dump your girlfriend/boyfriend if they become drug addicts?

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