Is it shallow to dump your girlfriend/boyfriend if they become drug addicts?

[Anonymous]

Or does that mean that you don't truly love them for who they are?

Yes

No

[Pasiton5]

Hell no it's good financial sense to do so plus unless you like being raided at 4am by cops and fees and fbi and drug dealers they owe money to then your good with them but if they can't say nope to dope ūgg to drugs then you better know how to say I'm going to store be right back and text them saying no need to wait up for me which won't get read till they are out of dope cause soon as you say I'll be, y their thoughts instantly why to just go so I can get high so high I want to f fly, well I would be humming that in my head if I got high, in flying so high this was a good buy not like the last batch which only took me to my feet, now I'm free free falling yeah baby,

[Anonymous]

No of course not. A family friend of ours (a couple) have been together since the first year of university, the man smoked a pack a day, did drugs etc - however he is also super smart and a very good natured person. His girlfriend hated what he was doing with the smoking and the drugs and threatened to leave him if he continued. He said the day he graduated university he would never take anything again - and he did it. They are now in their late forties and have children together.

My point here is not about staying with someone no matter what. 'Ride or die' attitude is toxic, when you decide to spend your life with a person - you're accepting all of their flaws too of course - but that doesn't mean you should settle for less than you deserve. When they place their addiction as more important that you or say 'I can't' you may have to move on from them. Someone who truly loves you will make you their priority.

[Gbear01]

How could that ever be shallow? Sometimes it sincerely hurts to see the people we love do something that could cost them their lives and it's not easy to be around. The real question is Do they really love you or themselves for that matter? If they're willing to risk their lives or hurt people who care about them by risking their lives, then maybe they're being a bit shallow. It's not wrong to want to break up with them, but that doesn't mean you can't be there for them. Sometimes what people really need is a friend more than an S. O. anyway.

[Lliam]

They are a path to self destruction. Being with you obviously didn't prevent that, so they need to work it out and possibly hit rock bottom. There is no point in going down with them. To do so might indicate a mental illness on your part. A person who persists in helping people, even to their own detriment, could be an enabler, codependent. or possibly a covert narcissist.

You can still like or love them. You can even try to help, but not as a life partner. You need to pursue a healthy, happy life without them.
It's absolutely not shallow to dump them as a partner. They took their path. You need to pursue yours.

[jennifer_bloom]

You cannot save the entire world and you can’t change somebody not interested in changing themselves, as much as you care for them, you have to put yourself first.

[Account]

It is never shallow wanting to protect yourself and putting yourself as a priority. You are under no obligation to save anyone and that is something I need to remind myself more often too.

[SecretsofKB]

Drug addiction doesn't just affect the person addicted. It affects everyone that's close to them. And it hurts all the way to rock bottom. So it definitely is not shallow.

[SunnyFlorida]

It's not "shallow" to dump someone for becoming a drug addict. If its Marijuana or something mild like that, you can probably salvage the relationship. If they are addicted to hardcore drugs, like heroin, crack, PCP, etc., I would find a new person to date. Drug addicts will often pull down the people around them, you will find jewelry and cash go missing... and then lie to you about it.

Or maybe they leave drugs in your car and you get arrest for possession of drugs - don't give police permission to search your vehicle.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/6xOrWEbs_3k

[Interstate]

No. For one, if he gets busted, you stand a chance of going down with him, all because he mentioned your name. Also, the life of an addict consists of them committing to their substance rather than their S. O or Spouse. If you stayed with him, in the long run you will be no priority to him, as getting high will be all he will care about. It would be time to break fee and move on with life!

[queenkitty7]

Nope not shallow. You don't want to get sucked into the drama and the stress. Being a drug addict is not a personality trait. So it's not who they really are. But it's very draining on you as well. I have left men for being addicts, and I haven't dated one since. Never looked back

[FinalFantasyBro]

It is honestly a normal reaction because what happened if your drugged boyfriend or girlfriend end up putting you in a dangerous situation. Or you know what happened if they started abusing you and logically they wasn't aware because they were high off drugs.

[Asker]

What if none of that happens? The only issue is that they are drug addicts.

[FinalFantasyBro]

You can try being a supportive boyfriend and help your partner out, you know teach them the dangers of drugs. But now if the partner barely had any problems or they are under a ton of stress and to them drugs were their own safe space. I definitely don't think people who are potencies are equally good partners because all they logically do is criticize their partner without trying to know the full story.

[Asker]

Fair, I think the way you approach the issue will tell if you're shallow or not, which is what you tacked on your comment.

[Asker]

I'm not going through this, but I would be sad for my girlfriend if she started drugs, and if she didn't listen I would sadly leave her. I don't think I'm being shallow doing this.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Exactly! The same in vice versa your girlfriend wouldn't be shallow if she left you because you were taking drugs and honestly refuse to listen about the harm of it.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Remember a part of the relationship is compromise.

[Coulis]

No, of course it isn't. By dumping them you are preventing being exposed to a whole host of volatility and all the shady characters and dangerous predicaments that follow a drug-addicted person. Drugs impair judgement where grown adults have worse decision making skills than children.

Say sayonara.

[Aquariusmystery]

I’m not putting up with that shit. I don’t care how much I love someone. Seen it all and I’m not putting myself through that because I love them

[slatyb]

Shallow? Not at all. You don't owe your life to someone just because you are currently in a relationship with them. Addiction is sad. So is mental illness. But if someone is unable to be a partner, there's no obligation to continue the relationship.

[Pj1981]

Look I have been the drug addict so I personally would never blame someone who isn't willing to go through hell with me and I wouldn't expect them to either. However anyone who loves an addict enough to get through it with them, encouraging them to get better is someone to quit for, turn things around for and to give your very best for.

[magiusX26]

so what's next, gonna ask simular if they are stuff like serial killers, rapusts, child molesters, or some other such? of course its not shallow. in this case its nothing of "loving them for who they are" since you stated "became" an addict indicating that they were not when the two of you started out together which also meabs they are no longer the same person anymore.

[JustinTimberlegs]

No it's not shallow, you can still be there and help them in other ways, but if you try to hold on you'll both drown. It's a battle he has to fight, you can help but you can't do it for him. Sometimes the best way to help is to leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

No, I have been down that road with some before. Porn addicts I would dump.

[Asker]

Like ;)

[Opinion Owner]

Thanksx

[FreyaRed]

No.
Read "Games people play" (part about alcohol addiction) and you will know why you should dump addicts immediately. This book explains why you will be always part of the problem, not the solution.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Develop a problem? Yes. Refuse to get help? No. Become dangerous because of it? Not in the least. It's one thing if someone is fighting a bad craving. It's another when they lose their soul and become a threat.

[Anonymous]

No if he or she are a lost cause. They can be aggressive on their partner like beating and torture due to drug. Shit, I even read some news in my place where this one guy just slaughter his parents because they do not give him the money to buy drug. Dumping him or her is not shallow but also for their own safety. Unless she or he really tried to stop then you should give him/her some chances. Some gain strength from their partner to combat their drug addict.

[muscularbumblebee]

No, it more you’re trying to do what’s right to separate yourself from that lifestyle and help yourself not become one also. It’s a shame if she chose that but you aren’t required to help her. After a while it’s good to realise you come first

[backblueblack22]

Your are justified to end the relationship. But you do it very tactfully and with care. Even offer to give them help (take them to a AA meeting) but make it clear that the relationship is off the table.

[JosyJosy]

No, that's not a life choice you signed up for, seeing your partner go to ruin