Do you believe there is a such thing as "leagues" in dating?

[stargazeraug1989]

I didn't always believe in this paradigm, but I'm beginning to after closely examining my own dating life as well as those of other people around me. It really does seem that most highly attractive people are only drawn to others who are at least as attractive as they are and everyone else is just left to date whatever is left. Have you ever seen a really handsome, tall, fit, muscular guy with a short, stubby, average-looking woman? Guys like that generally seem to end up with equally fit, good looking women. I've seen very few exceptions. There does seem to be this hierarchy of sorts where average looking people seldom rise above the tier they're originally placed in.

[forthright]

Yes. But I don't believe they're as limited, linear &/or unwavering (etc) as many people describe them to be. They're adaptable & dynamic! They change relative to what is valued!

Leagues are just a way of describing something's placement within a spectrum. And the spectrum entails that distinctions are & can be made!

Most people use it in a way that's closer to hierarchies. And I agree that it's more helpful to be seen as a hierarchy than just a type distinction. Because things are clearly being valued more highly than other things.

The reason why I believe that there are conceptual hierarchies is that, as a social species, we need to know our placement in as many games as we can in order to survive & thrive. It helps us be better able to prevent future suffering so that we can reach a given valued goal. In other words, it specifies what is relevant to us so that we can either avoid, utilize &/or pursue it.

People don't realize it, but they constantly validate these things' existence. All it takes is them valuing a certain outcome. That alone confirms the distinctions. Which then confirms a conceptual hierarchical structure. And many of these structures can be studied to be proven by looking at enough physical data to find a rational conclusion.

[Browneye57]

Yes of course. It's SMV - sexual market value. You can google the term and learn about it. And yes, a severe mis-match never quite works out, and where there is one there's generally some other influences or reasons.
This is just natural selection - it's not a 'league'. Some women are just prettier than others - and their peak SMV hits about 22-24.
A guy's SMV peaks around 34-35, and his success and affluence also comes into play.
So do the work, create the value, be a real man, and you'll have all the pussy you can stand. I guarantee it.

[Livewire3]

I think it depends, as we become more confident we could become more attractive to whomever. Also income/money management, intelligence, disposition, and many other factors can be a "trade off" of sorts. I think we sometimes, by nature, find someone of similar value to what we see in ourselves. There is (hopefully) a proud moment of saying who you are with, your eyes light up knowing the qualities that you appreciate in them. Also as you grow together you tend to pick up similar traits.

[Ayanna240]

Yes there are leagues

usually people tend to date folks that are of similar attractiveness

usually rich people marry other rich people. The shit you see in Hollywood movies where a rich man marries a poor woman really doesn’t exist much in the real world.

educated people tend to marry other educated people. Doctors tend to marry other doctors.

[zagor]

That is largely because that is who they MEET. Rich hang out with rich, educated people are around the same, doctors consult with doctors. Doesn't indicate preference.

The perfect woman for me may be sitting in a cafe in Beijing, but I am unlikely to ever meet her.

[Ayanna240]

@zagor that’s not the only thing that factors into it. Most Rich people LOOK DOWN on the poor. Educated People LOOK DOWN on the uneducated.

Do you really think an English college professor is gonna date someone who can’t speak proper English?

Do you really think a Brilliant surgeon is gonna date someone who works at McDonald’s or cleans bathrooms at Walmart?

Do you really think most HOT people will date someone who is ugly or fat?

[Ayanna240]

Doctors are no longer marrying nurses , they are marrying other doctors.

Why settle for less when you can have more?

[Ayanna240]

Do you think the president of the United States will marry his Filipino maid rather than a college educated , highly intelligent woman?

Take a look at all our First Ladies:

Hillary Clinton - lawyer
Michelle Obama - lawyer
Laura Bush- prolific writer / author
Jill Biden - Phd educator

[K-I-S-S]

1st There are people who take care of themselves. Financially, their bodies, health, their skills and growth etc. All these things or one/few of these fields. For whatever reasons.

2nd There are people who don't. For whatever reasons.

These are the 2 leagues.

It's not only appearances that the 1st group go for, they also would like somebody with similar mindset and values in life.

The 2nd group members also like the 1st group more, than their own. For many different reasons.

That's how it usually goes.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

No.

Thinking like that seems like a great way to always feel inadequate to me. Or horrifically arrogant.

Or both, if you're at any spot other than the "top".

I'd rather spend time just knowing the people than defining "leagues". That kind of time and energy is better spent elsewhere.

[stargazeraug1989]

Good to know that people like you exist.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

There's more of us out here than it first might seem. But it's just that we don't live on the internet much.

I'd say hit up a climbing gym and a running club and you'll find more folks like me. It's where I find most of my likeminded friends.

[stargazeraug1989]

Are less superficial people usually more athletically inclined or what?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

No, but exercise does release endorphins which make people happier.

Climbing is a social community by nature. Collaboratively solving routes (aka "beta") together makes solving problems easier, seeing how others tackle the problem can lead to new ideas, and ultimately the more supportive the group the better the individuals do.

Running clubs often end up socializing at restaurants and chatting over beers or pasta.

I'd say more community oriented people are going to be less superficial in general. Though exceptions exist, like Evangelists. But I don't know if I'd call that a community as much as a cult.

[stargazeraug1989]

I definitely appreciate the insight. Much of it I had never seen put quite the way you underscored it. Thank you. You seem to spend quite a bit of time on here. I'm guessing this is about the only place on the internet where you "live" from time to time?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

No, I mostly just come by every now and again when I'm bored and nothing else is happening.

This is mostly a shitter app for me.

[FilmGuy93]

Eh... kind of. I believe that a league is whatever the hell your preferred sex thinks a league is. I think of myself as a plain Jane, but I've managed to land some hotties, so I guess women think I'm more desirable than I think I am.

I'll trust the ladies' thoughts on this subject.

[DWornock]

Of course, because we all want the best but we settle for the best we can get. Obviously, since both males and females want the best, the best are going to match up with the best leaving who is left for the rest of us. Naturally, the remaining best will match up and so on all the way to the bottom.

[slatyb]

People generally seek their equals in intelligence, maturity, physical fitness and ambition. The fit muscular guy is looking for someone who will join him in physical activities.

What's not important? Wealth and facial beauty.

[ariadneR]

No
No one person is better than another. Everyone has good qualities and bad qualities.

[Rachelspiks]

No, I've never noticed that. You yourself even admit that you've seen a few exceptions to this rule, so why do you believe in it?

[ChrisMaster69]

Not really no.

the closest you get is social levels and that’s mainly down to not going to same places to mix

[Dvchill]

Yes and no… like most people don’t have to worry but there are a few people that are like perfection and others that are mutantish but those r the like top and bottom 1-2% the other 96-98% are in a big pool

[wakeupchy]

no, people have types but in the end you can't fight attraction

[sullyk1234]

thats true or the handsome well built man likes a plain average looking girl

[Anonymous]

Of course but they run on different things such as looks, which is very conventional but other things like money and power

[Chthou95]

If leagues exist, then how sure are we that looks are really subjetive 😒

[Anonymous]

Just remember, no matter how insecure you are its still not legal to head to the "minor leagues".

[karaspara]

No I believe there is attraction and just no

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yes but it’s also possible to date out of them

[JosyJosy]

In some cases I believe so yes

[Phoenix98]

Not really no.

[LaFerrari]

nope

[Joker_]

Obviously