Guys Purposely Take Time To Text Back?

Question

So long story short, I’ve just started talking to this guy and I know he really likes me. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I think it’s too early so I said no.

We spoke on the phone last night for hours and he asked me again. I said I still wanted to get to know him before we commit, and I didn’t want to stop him from meeting other girls if he wanted to.

The problem is he takes HOURS to respond to my texts. My ex did that in the past because he was cheating on me so this is giving me anxiety. But this guy seems really different and seems like he really likes me. I don’t know what to do.

Could be be responding hours as a way to get me attached to him? (Because I said I didn’t want to be exclusive yet)?

TonyMetal___86 · Accepted Answer

Calm down sweet alyssa rapunzel, this ain't the end of the world and your not going to become a hoe 😂
All i can say is that every guy is different, not everything can be compared between a guy and another..

Personally if i was this guy, i wouldn't ask a girl whom i just met to become my girlfriend because 1st we have to get to know each other before becoming committed just like you mentioned...

2nd, no matter who text me i text them back immediatly ofc if i'm not busy or doing something but usually as soon as i read a message i text the person immediatly, i don't play these silly games which is taking time and let her getting attached to me and bla bla bla, i'm not a teenager or a kid 😂😂

I'm not a psychic to be able to know what's going on in this guy's head neither do you...

There is thing called "gut feeling" it's like a sixth sense, sometimes you might just feel that something ain't right and girls are well in sensing it, so all i can tell you is to pay attention to this sense that you have...

Don't lose hope princess alyssa rapunzel, as long as i'm here, you must always have hope knowing that not all men are like that, if you have met some bad guys who failed you it doesn't mean that you have no chance anymore...

Find a good guys or a good girl these days is rare and very hard, don't expect to just walk on and immediatly find a guy who is your prince charming...

Take me for example, i'm searching for love and marriage too and i know that my chance won't exceed the 5% in finding a girl who's going to be my princess but i never lose hope because i know that there are some wonderful girls out there just like you which means i still have a chance and i must not surrender...

I wish you all luck and that everything good happens to you...

If things didn't work out between you and him, just don't be sad and don't lose hope...

There is a saying in my country which goes like that "لا تكره شيئاً لعلّه خيراً"...

Have a nice day sweet alyssa rapunzel and good luck 😊

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

You tell him to talk to other girls. ... And yet you're worried that he's talking to other girls. Where is the logic there?

FlutteringFeelings · Answer

I’ve learned that when a guy is interested you will know and when he’s not interested you’ll know as well. A man who is interested is not afraid to show his interested nor will he take days or hours to apply to your messages. A guy that consistently is keeping you waiting has other women that he’s juggling. Women have this strong gift of intuition and we overlook it because we don’t see the concrete answer in front of us. Before the truth reveal itself we have the gift to sense and be aware a certain guy we’re seeing, dating, or in a relationship is going to turn out bad.

When a man is genuinely interested you will have a sense of peace. The peace won’t come from you telling yourself to avoid the truth nor will it involve him attempting to manipulate that it’s all in your head. We’re human and it’s possible to come across a genuine and there’s doubt. The every moment you doubt you will receive more confirmation through his character. He’s wanting to hear from you on the phone, he’s consistent, asking you out on dates, and his words are leading the two of you somewhere whether it be a serious relationship, and soon to be marriage in the future.

When a guy isn’t genuinely interested you will have an uneasiness feeling within. The frustration won’t come from your own thoughts but it’ll be his actions that are showing and telling you his disinterest. Every time you ignore the inconsistency and relationship with ‘he’s busy, ‘he works a late job’, and instead of saying ‘if he wanted to he will’. His words are leading the two of you nowhere because he says a whole bunch of nothing’s.

The moment or the second you find yourself questioning if a guy is interested that means he’s not interested. Men are straight to the point and if he’s not immediately he’ll get there fast in hopes that he doesn’t lose you. If he’s serious about the two of you he’ll break it down to make sure you comprehend that he is commitment to you and only you. You will know when a guy is interested and you’ll know when he isn’t interested.

Andres77 · Answer

If you do start spreading yourself around I hope you don't get hurt.

Bottom line, if he's asking for more but hard to communicate with... it's already an issue.

Please consider: review the kinds of guys you're attracted to, where are you meeting them, how does the relationship start, how long before you notice red flags, how long did you ignore the red flags before you stopped the relationship.

If the guys you're connecting to are a type, have a pattern... then you also have a pattern. Take that into consideration. They're still assholes and losers but... you're picking them.

Adjust your process!
Review and adjust.
You seem like a smart girl but you're operating in autopilot when you pick guys.

Please watch this.
6 minutes. It opened my eyes SO much.
This guy was the head of the genetics studies lab at Stanford for years. Brilliant mind.
Please just watch 6 minutes and tell me what you think.

NathanDavis · Answer

One thing is 10, 000% in here

-- communication is not his priority and neither are you --

if he had a genuine interest in you and he cared for you he would not waste any time on playing games as to wait on purpose to get back at you, especially hours

but if he had valid reasons to take time to respond, for example being really busy, then he would let you know in advance and would tell you exactly why it takes him long time, he would try to reassure you so you don't feel wary of this happening

So, obviously you have no idea what's going on in here, because he just does not care to communicate properly with you and he doesn't care much either about how you feel about it

Besides that... you already informed him what you are about... you told him twice exactly what you want, and he didn't actually listen to it, and he did not care... he just insisted on what HE WANTED and not what you need and want... that to me, is an absolute deal breaker

This is a guy that first doesn't listen and second... does not care to communicate properly... so this guy should not be worth your time, nor your efforts and not your interest, gotta be way more selective if you don't want to get hurt again

faithfulbumblebee · Answer

I totally hear ya, I ended up dating the sweet guy who takes a long time to reply to texts for 9 months of my life. I also was cheated on the relationship before that one and I had communicated that. At first I just coped with it because I knew he was busy guy and I didn't want to come off as needy or anything. Ended up the lack of communication in between us seeing each other in person is what broke us. Communication is the biggest thing for me in a relationship and for him it was trust and at the end of the day I can't give someone my 100% trust unless they are making an effort to communicate with me. I think some guys just aren't big texters who aren't glued to their phones like the rest of us or they aren't emotionally mature enough to realize how important consistent communication is. I can't tell you which one your guy is, but I can tell you to proceed with caution. Trust your gut. If you want a guy who makes communication with you a priority then sat that and get out as quick as you can. Don't do what I did and keep him around hoping he would improve. If you communicate your standards and he can't meet them then he's not the guy for you.

RealMarek · Answer

There is nothing wrong with wanting to meet other men, but I’m confused. How can this guy possibly “cheat” when you told him you don’t want to be exclusive and that he could meet other women? Do you want to be permitted to meet with more than one guy, while you want him to wait for you exclusively? If so, you can try explaining that to him or better yet reevaluate your thinking.

As for why he takes so long to respond to your texts it is impossible to tell unless you ask and he answers honestly. He could be playing the game of trying to make you attracted to him by withholding attention or making you jealous over the thought of him meeting other girls (which would not be cheating). He could be trying to protect himself emotionally, given that you want to be able to meet other men. He might simply be unwilling to invest the time to reply to you promptly because you don’t seem to reciprocate his level of interest.

MzAsh · Answer

Your relationship anxiety is your responsibility to work through. How many hours does he take? Taking a few hours to respond is pretty common.
The fact that you’re already anticipating him cheating is going to negatively affect how you respond to him.
You need to check your anxiety and not punish him for what your ex did.

sage2021 · Answer

When you encourage people you really like to go and see and be with other people, that is exactly what they will do. If you didn't want him to get busy with other people, perhaps he wouldn't take so long to text you back. He is treating you like a non-girlfriend because you gave him permission to do so.

johnnygodeep · Answer

Well I hate to tell you but you’ve been cheated on again…

…and I think you deserve to have a little fun so I’m gonna offer to take care of you just how you like it…

As to that fool he would be a sucker if he jumped given your persistent re-buff and insistence on taking your time… he’s playing it cool…

However, he’s cheated on you anyways…

and we have some fun to have… 🔥🖤🔥

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I get that your ex really hurt you by cheating but it isn't fair to assume that taking a long time to text means cheating. A cheat can do so and STILL text back straight away.
I am someone who is guilty of never looking at my phone. I get told off for it time and time again but I would NEVER cheat on my g/f.
Sometimes people are just slow to text back.

PrettyPriya · Answer

I think you have answered your own question. You say you want to take some more time to get to know him.

I think that is a wise idea. Don’t feel pressured to commit until you are ready. Good luck to you! ❤️

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Dear Alyssa, I often take days to answer your questions (even though I'm not invited) and hours to reply back to you, same way, you never answer my questions, but do we bother to worry about what the other person is doing? 😂

Absolutely not, because it's not worth our time.
Same way, it's not worth your time to unnecessarily anticipate. You guys are not even in a relationship yet. If you really want to know him, observe his friend circle, get to know people around him, etc.

Michael49 · Answer

There is one thing you can be 100% certain of and that is he isn’t cheating on you. Not saying he is doing it on purpose but maybe he doesn’t wanna come off any more desperate than he already has?

RasberrySlushPuppy · Answer

That comes across like the kindest way to reject a guy. I can't say I blame this situation occurring, he came on way too strong and made you feel overwhelmed. Skipped the getting to know dating stage where you both will feel trust. I suppose now he's going after other girls in hope one is naive enough to think he's a straight up catch and get her feelings hurt when the lack of communication after the honeymoon stage has her feel insecure.

FreeOhSeven · Answer

I think that peoples play too many games in relationships because of fear of losing face. I know in the past I have been guilty of waiting to respond because I did t want to appear too needy or desperate. So maybe he is worried about that, especially after having been turned down when he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Relux47 · Answer

1) I’m not taking time to text anybody back and definitely not a girl that I’m interested in  2) I’m too old to be playing games with a girl  3) Not interested? Let me know

Nik1hil · Answer

" the way if I get cheated on again I’m legit becoming a hoe. I’m never gonna be in a serious relationship again for real."

Make sure you tell this message to him.. When he asks for relationship with you
j

belle_kai · Answer

Remember actions speak louder than words. he's saying all these thing but are his actions matching also? Speaks volumes. Guys can be sweet talkers, take what he says with a pinch of salt

lizchill · Answer

Be honest. Tell him that it bothers you and ud like to fix it.

DaveToo · Answer

I think, and please take what I say as the thoughts of an old man that has been cheated on, that if he takes that long to respond, he's doing the same thing with other girls. If you suspect that's the reason, then confront him with your suspicions.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I often take hours to respond to my own family. 🙄😂.. I don't think it's healthy to expect 24/7 privileged access to someone's time over the phone..

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