Toxic situationship destroying my mental health yet I can't walk away?

[Anonymous]

I've known this guy over 2 years. We dated consistently for a while, long story short his dad committed suicide and things turned toxic and inconsistent after that. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because of his trauma.

We ended up not speaking for several months because I was self harming due to how rubbish he was making me feel.

he then came back into my life a few months ago and I really hoped he’d have changed but no he;s worse than ever.

Expects me to be available for him but never there for me. It is completely one sided and he treats me like a sex doll. It’s making me very unwell again but I can’t walk away because. I love him and he’s entwined in my life by being a family friend and neighbour.

[Anonymous]

The first step to leaving is simply loving yourself more than you love him, and if you don’t love yourself more then it’s time you start doing the work so you can get to that place. His life and happiness CANNOT matter more than yours. It also doesn’t help that you create these obstacles in your mind by constantly telling yourself you can’t leave. So what if he’s your neighbor and a family friend, he won’t be anything if you aren’t here anymore because this abuse drove you to do something drastic. Find your inner strength and tell yourself that you CAN. Just once. Then make a habit of it. Find a therapist, who can help you figure out where along this road you allowed mistreatment and undervalued to be what love is for you. I think once you start tackling these things, then you’ll stop telling yourself that it’s “too hard to leave”.

[JohnPrestwick]

Toxic relationships can be addictive. Some people put up with unbelievable levels of pain from their partner because, like the gambler with a slot machine addiction, they crave a high that their habit either occasionally brings or promises to bring but never does. If a toxic relationship can be addictive, so can a toxic situationship.

I don't have any easy answers, but acknowledging the problem is the first step to fighting it.

[DaveJord]

That's sad. Can't help those not willing to help themselves.

[miko1990]

Get out it will only get worse