My toxic Ex that “loves” me. but wants to be bsf?

[kennedy_]

So. I met this boy at a new school. he's tall, athletic, long beautiful hair, a deep voice. he's perfect. Everything I've wanted. His love language is physical affection which i love. But to the point. I started dating him, and we dated for 3 and half months. But throughout our relationship there were many problems, he tried cheating on me with my bsf, he told people that we had s*x. Stuff like that. he's given me bruises on my arms and my neck bc he was mad i was trying to talk to my friends. And i was fed up with it. So i broke up with him. He was mad and started calling me names and saying a bunch of crazy stuff. But recently i caved in and told him how sorry i was and how i wanted him back and stuff like that. And he kept saying that im a lier and a bitch and stuff like that. And today (11/15/21) he finally told me how we felt. He said he misses me too but that me and him can't be together, and he wants to be bsf with me. Which is better than nothing. But i can't stop crying. He told me he loves me but can't be with me. I just dont know what to do. Someone pls lmk what to think about it all

Updates

+1 y

Also im not 20💀 im only 15

[Keyboardkat]

I must tell you something. A guy who is verbally abusive (he called you "bitch." A bitch is a female dog), or who hits you, or wants to control you, this is a BIG RED FLAG! This sort of thing will escalate. He will try to isolate you from your friends and your family, he will want to know where you are and who you're talking to every minute of your life; he will demand that you account to him for every minute out of his sight. He will start hitting you, and THAT can get worse. Girls have ended up dead because they couldn't leave guys like this.
The psychology of a guy like this is, he can't believe that ANY girl would stay with him willingly, because he thinks of himself as crap! So he thinks he has to exert complete control to get a girl to stay with him! Plus, if he thinks of himself as crap, you can bet that he thinks that any girl who could love him must also be crap! RUN. THE. OTHER. WAY. You don't need this. You shouldn't have to put up with this
And by the way, at 15, you really shouldn't be getting involved that deeply with guys. You are still very young. Your ideas about what you want in a guy will change many times before you're in your mid-twenties! And for heaven's sake, DON'T have sex with anyone who is NOT COMMITTED TO YOU! Sex is supposed to really mean something! Even a kiss is supposed to mean something! You don't dispense them like pretzels! In fact, a good rule of thumb is, before you sleep with a guy, you must have two things: A diamond ring and a wedding date! I'm really serious. Sex isn't a children's game. People can get hurt - I mean emotionally hurt!

[kennedy_]

thank you so much for this :). you're so right about all of it

[YesICan]

He doesn't care about you nor will he ever care. He's abusive and it's your fault for allowing him to treat you that way ( I know it sounds harsh but it's the truth) I've been in your shoes before. You should've pay more attention to the red flags before engaging with him. but Ay, now you know who he is.

"He told me he loves me but can't be with me"
No, he does not love you at all, he knows what he's doing. He is well aware of it, trust me.

"he's given me bruises on my arms and my neck bc he was mad"
Look at those actions. Do you really think that someone who actually "loved" you would do such a thing?

" im only 15"

I'd suggest you to avoid him and people like him in general, cause the only person that will suffer the consequences is you. You will destroy your self-worth by allowing people like that into your life. Sometimes it's better to actually be alone then to be someone that drains your self-esteem and makes you feel alone.
Good luck to you, and remember to walk away now, cause trust me your mental state will get beyond fucked if you let people like that into your life.

[Keyboardkat]

Bravo! Well said, YesICan! And for young Ms. Kennedy, let me tell you a story. I knew a married couple. The husband hit the wife. Her voice got very low and her speech was slow and ominous! She said, "If you EVER hit me again, don't go to sleep, because I'll kill you in your sleep!" He was too scared to find out if she meant it. It's no surprise that they are long divorced now. Twenty or more years after the divorce, he sent her a letter asking forgiveness. I don't know if she gave it to him. But I KNOW she will never take him back.

[kennedy_]

wow. that’s awesome

[Anonymous]

Hi hon, im just gonna tell you this now… he is not going to change. he will try to use you and abuse you again. i know you want to be his bestfriend and get back with him, but he will hurt you even more. you need to tell him that you will not take the abuse that he caused you and move on

[kennedy_]

Thank you sm. I rlly needed someone to tell me that :)

[Opinion Owner]

of course. i’ve been through it before, it’s the worst feeling in the world and i wish i followed my own advice i gave you lol!! ❤️ i wish you best, you deserve so much better.

[kennedy_]

Thanks. Much love to you❤️

[Leggoddess]

If he truly love you he would not call you all those bad names and verbally harass you when you broke up with him.
If he can change for the better and prove it to you. then it's possible to get back with him.

[kennedy_]

Yea. He said he's trying to change. But we’ll see if thats true

[crazy8000]

Would recommend to have any toxic individuals in your life. it isn't worth it most of the times.
It has a huge potential for physical health problems in the long run that can kill/shorten life greatly

[crazy8000]

Wouldn't
Not
Would

[kennedy_]

I already struggl with depression and anxiety. And I've been to the hospital a few times bc of self harm. So yes. you're so right

[Cleo12345]

RUN RUN RUN he is ABUSIVE, do not accept this for yourself. If you fall into this trap you are going to ruin your teenage years. Think about your self worth and RUN far away from this situation

[Anonymous]

he's a high quality guy that can get any girl. He doesn't think your good enough for him but is more than happy nasty sex with you as often as he can.
Break it off with him, guys like that will destroy you.

[Daniela1982]

I wish people would come out and just say what they mean. What does BSF mean? Bitch Slapping Friend? Butt sucking Freak?

[kennedy_]

Sorry. It means best friend

[Daniela1982]

I thought that was BFF for best female friend and boyfriend for best friend. I guess BSF would mean best single friend?

[kennedy_]

I use it as best friend

[kennedy_]

But bff means best friends forever

[Daniela1982]

See. everybody uses different things and you don't always know that they mean. I think they must text too much or something. ha ha

[YesICan]

Butt sucking freak got me good, thanks for the laugh.

[Anonymous]

The classic toxic bad boy stories... You're not alone babe some smokn hot girl still pay her baby daddy at the jail because he did rape another girl... That's kinda cock carousel stories.. anyway it won't last that much because the wall is undefeated guaranteed... Peace

[kennedy_]

Thanks

[Opinion Owner]

I think you genuinely want good relationship. Get out of his toxic shit plenty of 6 feet good guys out there just because we don't show the D in the first date doesn't mean we are weak we have morals ethics and some sense of religion. I hope you get someone better

[kennedy_]

Thank you

[ManHater]

You are a girl... you are your own worst enemy. You will enjoy the beatings and abuse and call it "love" because you are simply a stupid girl who does not know the difference between right and wrong.

[888theGreat]

You deserve what you get. When you are stupid and stay with guys like this. You will end up in the desert like that other chick with people looking for you.

[kennedy_]

Hm. Ok i guess

[Jamie05rhs]

First of all, I don't know what BSF means.

Second of all, are you crazy? Do NOT take this guy back!! He physically abused you!

[kennedy_]

its means best friend. but yea ur right

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks

[TheBigGuy9]

If everything you are saying is true, I’d get as far away as possible from that man. Don’t you have a couple good guy friends?

[kennedy_]

Yea. They all wanna kill him lol💀

[Gb5600]

These guys in friend zone are probably the good one

[kennedy_]

Theyre all sm better😭

[TheBigGuy9]

@kennedy_ I’d let them give him something he won’t forget

[kennedy_]

Haha!!

[Gb5600]

I don't believe you gonna leave the situation

[TheBigGuy9]

@Gb5600 I don’t think so either. I see it all too much.

[kennedy_]

Ur right.. i want to. But its hard to

[TheBigGuy9]

@kennedy_ so you haven’t had sex yet? Do you have low self esteem? Do you think you can change him?

[kennedy_]

no i haven’t had sex yet. and yea j do have low self esteem. and i want to change him but ik its gonna be rlly hard to

[TheBigGuy9]

Didn’t know you were 15. You’re growing up. Now is your time to live life and find yourself. When you get to be my age it’s an entirely different story.

[Avicenna]

Move on from this bum

[kennedy_]

I love you for that. 😭

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you have ANY self-esteem?

[kennedy_]

Not rlly lol.

[OlderAndWiser]

Not too funny. Look at what you have willingly exposed yourself to!

[kennedy_]

Yea. I know. Its hard to be me :/

[OlderAndWiser]

When you are feeling sorry for yourself, think about who put you in this position. (Hint: look in the mirror.)

[kennedy_]

oh.. ik i did it to my self..

[OlderAndWiser]

And that means that you have the power to make it change!

[kennedy_]

Yea it does doesn't it. Its just hard yk?

[OlderAndWiser]

Of course. Accepting responsibility any then making changes are challenges that some people never accept.

[kennedy_]

I understand that

[EaterPeter]

Change the school. If both of you go to same school

[kennedy_]

I can't. I just transferred here this year

[EaterPeter]

Stay as far away as you can

[EaterPeter]

Have a good friend circle 🔴

[kennedy_]

Im not the best at having friends

[EaterPeter]

You may want to try little harder sweety or you will be keep falling for guys like this one. Try giving smile to girls you like.

[EaterPeter]

Do you workout?

[kennedy_]

Yea i do. But ig i can try harder

[Soleil8000]

Bsf is what? BFF?
Is he a transgender girl?

[kennedy_]

No. he's my best friend. He was born a male lol

[In_Trance]

Block him

[kennedy_]

Bet😩