Is it basically doomed to platonic friendship if you go on 4 dates and have done nothing more intimate than a hug goodbye?

Question

fashionguy17 · Accepted Answer

I'm going to be real and... DO NOT LISTEN TO THE WOMEN...

1. When a woman sees you, she knows in the 1st five minutes whether or not she is going to fuck you.

2. If you are very attractive, she won't mind fucking you on the 1st or 2nd date. They say that women make rules for beta and break them for alphas.

3. This means that if they view you as an alpha, you get to hit it without little to no effort. If they view you as beta, you need to go on multiple dates and MAYBE if you're lucky... she will let you hit... IF YOU'RE LUCKY.

4. If you still haven't kissed by 4 dates and you've been paying for all these dates, you need to dropkick this woman out of your life.

I used to be like you. I remember I once took a woman on 8 dates... nice restaurants, bowling, saunas, spa dates, you name it... but I got nothing out of it. I used to do things like that for a lot of women.

I've smartened up. Take a woman on the 1st date and try to go for a kiss and be flirty with her. On the 2nd date, invite her back to your place. If she says no to going to your place ORRRR if she comes to your place but doesn't want to have sex with you... block her number, delete and onto the next one.

If a woman does have sex with you on the 2nd date, she is then entitled to go out on more dates with you. Dates have to be earned. You can't just take a woman out because she is beautiful. MAKE HER EARN IT!! 1st dates should always be a park or coffee shop to vet the woman. Second date should be at your house to she if she is really feeling you. If she does get intimate with you, continue taking her out... if she doesn't, get rid of her.

I know women are going to get on here and say, "WOW... you're toxic... you're wrong... your a misogynist." Not at all. I'm just pragmatic.

Basically... here is a good video to sum everything up:

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

Bit of context missing, 4 dates in one week?
4 dates in a month
4 dates in 3 months.

Also this does tie in with guys only wanting girls with a low body count, you can’t have that and girls not instantly getting sexual.

i think it was a few months before my girlfriend and me decided to move it further on.

if you are getting dates, then there is an interest from her, also she may not want sex before marriage, she may ask for you to get sex health check first, even if it moves on a bit more, there may be zero sex on the cards.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think people now and days expect too much. And are expected to give too much.

It should be normalized to take things slow and date for a few months before anything really happens.

Really, why should people just start swapping spit with random people they just met? We don't know what you have or who youve been with. We shouldn't be expected to do anything until we get to know your real personality and your history.
You might be a drug lord or serial killer for all we know.

Sarahr123 · Accepted Answer

I have had quite a few platonic friendships with boys where I saw them as a brother and they saw me as a sister and it woujust stay that way because anything else would be weird.

Then I have had so many friendships where there was an obvious attraction and that would probably blossom into something more overtime.

You can probably tell where it will end up very early on.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Are we dealing with two dating partners who are both terminally shy, or two partners who both have no problem assertively expressing their attraction?

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Not at all. Women tend to move slower than men, and I believe if you are looking for a solid long term relationship, you are on a good start with your 4 dates. In fact, you could go on 50 dates with nothing more than hug, but the fact that you are continuing to go on dates means she enjoys your company and is making time to spend with you.

50 might be extreme for your average person, but there are certainly women out there that want to or will take it that slow. But think of it as slowly building connection and intimacy, rather than "getting friend zoned".

Not to say you might also be getting friend zoned, lol. But if that's the case, nbd, it sounds like you are making a good friend, and that's great! In fact, having good friend (s) who are female can help you with other women as well. Women talk, you know :) and if your friend says good things about you, that's good for you.

slatyb · Answer

Not necessarily. It’s hard to tell without being there. If she’s keeping her distance then maybe there’s no chemistry. In my experience, after one date if a woman is interested she wants to be kissed. After three she wants to be fucked. Are you really 30? I’m surprised you haven’t figured this out. It sounds to me like she’s not really into you but she has so little experience dating that she doesn’t know enough to stop seeing you.

TheorionMage · Answer

Too many fragile Egos in this #Me Too climate.
Four dates, REALLY?
SOMEBODY has to risk a obvious NON-platonic gesture.
It is said: "Faint heart n'ere won fair lady"... and
"Easier to ask for forgiveness than 'permission'
Is your attraction TO her... worth getting slapped for?

DonkeyDan · Answer

Not necessarily, not all people are demonstrative or don't feel the beed for any intimacy just yet. I think I'd wwnt to be sure we are headed in the right direction, but just because we've not done anything doing mean it will only ever be a friendship.

Anonymous · Answer

She might be too scared to show too much interest/trying to take it slow. She probably thinks that simply going on dates with you tells you she is interested. (This is how I am, so maybe she’s the same) I highly doubt someone would go on more than 1 date with you without being interested.

ZS007 · Answer

Im planning a second date and I'm trying to figure out a way to be sneaky and touch his hand, yes just touch. It's completely normal to take things slow. I'm actually surprised by how people move so quickly.

St37xy11 · Answer

No, she could be shy or want to take things slow. Everyone has different comfort levels. It's good to talk about it with her/him.

Wester1967 · Answer

Girls say no because they want control over you. Don't do it. Walk on brother.

ally018 · Answer

There’s a reason she agreed to go on a fourth date. There is hope! Just don’t spoil it and finally make a move.

dankstranger · Answer

Not necessarily *doomed* but it's tip toeing into thay arena. Bust a move quick or kiss the chances goodbye.

NathanDavis · Answer

I've been friends with girls for weeks and even months... before we were a couple for years to come

Cathy7734 · Answer

I know some religious people who won't have sex until they are married.

legalboxers · Answer

Im dealing with that. This person is the daughter of my mothers coworker. This girl says no sex before marriage and no intimacy. She says she likes me but just hugs me. No kiss. Nothing, this is our 2nd date. Im not trying for a 3rd or 4th.

DizzyDesii · Answer

If we dont kiss on the first date, then i dont really foresee a future date anyways lmao

rienna888 · Answer

Depends, did you tried to kiss her and she rejected?

dvc0006 · Answer

It sucks, but, I have aspergers syndrome, so Its extremely hard for me to even land a date.

ilovesoccerboys · Answer

they could be waiting for the right time to make a first move, for you to make the first move, or maybe they just wanna take it slow

Anonymous · Answer

Is she aware these are dates? If she is then I wouldn't say you're doomed. Some times these things take longer than usual.

Anonymous · Answer

She’s trying to USE YOU for free food. Look all women do.

exitseven · Answer

Sometimes these things take time.

boobliker · Answer

It hard to say how Strong is the friendship?

Quigly · Answer

Friend zone is the best zone. MGTOW

lottiebannotie · Answer

No not at all

Is it basically doomed to platonic friendship if you go on 4 dates and have done nothing more intimate than a hug goodbye?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it basically doomed to platonic friendship if you go on 4 dates and have done nothing more intimate than a hug goodbye?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.