I am a 16 year old girl wanting to date, but guys my age are dumb. Is it wrong that I like older guys?

Question

For context (if that matters) I've always been told that I'm mature for my age, and I think I can be pretty attractive when I put effort into it. I appreciate people who can have comprehensive and in-depth conversations with me. Obviously an age gap, escpecially one crossing the age of consent, looks a little sketch. Do guys like me my age exhist? I know there's some out there but they're too shy around me. Do 18-19 year olds think it's stupid to date a girl who's still a sophomore?

TheorionMage · Accepted Answer

The unvarnished 'truth' of your situation IS... few 'prestige' males in YOUR age range have ANY long-term 'honorable' intentions.

Everyone is leveraging their physical short-term desirability to amass life experiences and then moving on, leaving emotional wreckage... that's 'why' girls who seek more, will offer their SAME sexual potential to OLDER males. In your age range, the don't date to discuss Chaucer or abstract political philosophy... they're there to experience how getting YOU physically-aroused, gets THEM physically aroused. Familiar with the term: 'Blue Balls'?

Guys in a social dating situation seek personal 'immortality' ... believing their marginal skills will make them YOUR personal 'best ever' (in reality, 'best SO FAR!)

They seek to overload your morals and common sense with physical stimuli and watch your hormonal 'animal self' over-power you. YOUR building visible arousal is irresistible. The goal is your reproductive system's overload in spasming convulsions and involuntary squirting leaving you mewing, gasping and emotional 'spent'.

Understand, that YOU are biologically entitled to experience and ENJOY whatever you may elect to allow BUT... do so WISELY. Nature (ergo 'GOD') has you swimming in hormones at THIS age to promote PREGNANCY! YOU, are in your body's 'best if used by' date...

The MORE control you can exert over YOUR fertility, the MORE you get to leverage the terms of the pleasure of that physical act, for EACH of you. Men of greater life experience typically can offer both intellectual stimulation and (hopefully better and considerate physical stimulation) seeking a return invitation rather than a mere 'opportune' experience.

DaveToo · Accepted Answer

16 is the age of consent in most states in the U. S. "Men" near your age or a little older, 5+ years, will want sex first, then conversation. Men and women between the ages of 17 and 37 are looking to hook up, mostly for sex, but also for permanent situations, i. e. marriage or similar circumstances. Be careful and be safe. My girls, before either turned 13, were given birth control pills and supported sex education in school, but I gave them the same speech I just gave you. Girls/women are biological creatures. Sexual things are simply part of learning.

FlutteringFeelings · Accepted Answer

16 ? At 16 I played with Barbies and computer games. I started speaking to guys at 17 turning 18 and I learned a lot about what I want and didn’t want in the process. I reevaluated my game plan and had an idea what it means to date with intention at the age of 23; so you have a long way to go. As you get older you’ll realize that some guys lacking common sense isn’t an age situation. Enjoy your life and don’t be in a rush to date.

I can’t tell you that “you’re too young” as if you don’t have common sense. Women older than you are making silly decisions with men and you would think it would be obvious to walk away? Not. When the time comes for you to date it will certainly
arrive and there’s no need to rush into it. Find new hobbies and don’t focus too much on the boys because as you mentioned they’re immature.

Boys will always be here and as you get older you’ll be introduced into a new batch day by day. The guys I was attracted to at 17 and 18 aren’t the kind of guys I’m attracted to today. Give yourself a chance to see more and you’ll be thankful that
you didn’t waste your youth on those boys.

Seinna · Accepted Answer

Guys aged 18-19 are also stupid and mostly unreliable, they just seem smart to YOU because of those few years of advantage. And because that difference is so big from their side, if they would chose to date you then it's a major red flag. Take my word on it.

I'll tell you what I'm going to tell my daughter in the future - hold off dating until you're 18-20. Then date men above the age of 23. Before that tread very carefully. In most cases they will just waste your time, use you and break your heart. Not necessarily out of malice but just because they're 1) emotionally underdeveloped compared to girls and will be oblivious to your emotions and 2) want to have fun at that age and will be with you for the wrong reasons.

I didn't date as a teenager and felt bad about it... but my friends did. And in hindsight - thank God for that. Of course there are exceptions... but those are rare and in between. Forget all the romance book crap and teen tv shows, real life doesn't look like that.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Yep you can date older in your case. I'd advise against getting with a guy who has long graduated high school though. That's an important marker in development and life experience changes quite a bit after that.
But you can either abstain from dating all together and wait a bit, or only entertain the idea of dating older. Boys mature slower so you will align better.
They say by the age of 25 brain development is about done; and personality development at about 30, fyi. (But a 25 yr old is too old for you right now.)

jennifer_bloom · Answer

It’s two years before you can legally date an adult so spend this time preparing for your future and in a few years, you will be able to date any age you want.

laurieluvsit · Answer

No, it is not wrong but the problem is that the minute he touches you in any kind of sexual manner he has then become jail bait and you would be putting him at great risk.

If convicted he could actually become a Registered Sex Offender pedophile and it could ruin his life forever.

Although you would probably not get into any trouble yourself, other than with your parents, it would be very selfish of you to put a boy at risk that way. Find someone your age or wait until you are also 18 to find a boy that won't be put in great danger please.

Levin · Answer

Most people are immature at such a young age. Hell, even most adults are really immature in many respects. Most 18 or 19 year olds are probably quite immature too. Try and find someone at least somewhat emotionally mature, and someone kind. If someone has those things, then you can't go far wrong.

As a thoughtful person, you will probably find it hard to find someone on your level. But don't give up.

And don't get so much caught up on age. Obviously, we have to respect (to some extent) the legal boundaries and the social taboos we find ourselves beholden to in society at least to some degree.

IAmMichael · Answer

18-19 can get in trouble for it, but ultimately that will come down to if your parents find it acceptable "Romeo and Juliette" laws are weird--they require the parents' permission). If you really want older men, give it two years. It'll feel like a longer wait than it is.

As to your original question: no. It's not weird or wrong, many people are attracted to those outside their immediate age group. After all, how many teens have crushes on movie stars in their 20s-40s? I definitely had a crush on Megan Fox, Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, etc. when I was your age.

Birdlegs · Answer

First don’t say you’re mature for your age that’s something pedophiles say to justify you know pedophilia also everyone thinks they are until they do something stupid (trust me I know that from experience). Second you should probably stick with guys your age , the 18-20 range is legal adult age and they can get in trouble messing with you.

Avicenna · Answer

People go through huge life changes at ages 16-19 and there is a huge difference between someone who's still in high school and someone who's graduated. Now, when I was your age, I had classmates who had boyfriends who were older (occasionally even much older), but I definitely would advise you against doing that, even if it does happen to be legal where you live, not just because of the life changes but because you're likely to be worried they're cheating on you. There should also be a number of 18 year old guys in your school anyway.

Target the smarter guys your age or a little older but who are still in high school, that's my advice. I sometimes had a girlfriend who went to a different school.

Heartache0405 · Answer

Focus on being a teen first. Have fun because relationships suck. Too much emotional pain comes with it. And if you haven’t had your first relationship yet, it never lasts. The first one hurts the most and it just goes down hill from there. You’ll cry a lot. Your heart will ache and it’ll turn you into someone you currently aren’t. For better or worse. You may even end up pregnant and that is a whole other can of worms you don’t want to deal with. So be glad that you’re single. Be single for as long as you can! Trust me. You’ll regret it if you don’t need my advice

Jouth · Answer

I felt that way in high school. Mature guys like you do exist. I've been a fully grown man since I was 16. You just have to keep looking.

You also have to keep your bones healthy.

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spuitkaas · Answer

Haven news for you. Guys in their 20s are also stupid. If you like in-depth conversations I think there are 16 year olds who like that, however many are so insecure that they wouldn't easily admit that out of fear of not looking cool with their peers. Find a guy who doesn't mind going out of pace. Maybe the outcasts or even more popular guys.
I wouldn't go past 18 because it's just a little weird (I don't know where you're from though).

Vikkrram · Answer

See i have seen some people who have like 8, 10, 15 years age gap diffrence they are married... It's all about understanding each other... and then makin a moove... Take things slowly, first find a man you really attracted to... i think you have found one that's why you are sayin that u like a guy of older age. Then i would say... look at his behaviour if he likes you of course you can get a idea.

Then take a moove... and see how things happen.

Lucki7626 · Answer

A lot of guys will say and see nothing wrong with it but I personally disagree. When I was younger I thought the same I was often told I was mature of my age and similar things of the sort. When I was of “legal” (19-20) age I had a 32 year old guy attempting to court me.

At first I thought it was because of my mature nature. I began to realize that in reality he was the one that was immature. After a while my sisters talked to me and got me to understand how weird it was for a guy that much older than me to pursue me. Sure it is legal but there were girls that had more than me that were just a few years older than me but he specifically and intentionally dated girls much younger than him. It was a pattern.

Not every older guy that intentionally pursues younger girls is a loser, but oftentimes they just are girl.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It happens, especially at things like youth clubs, sports clubs etc.

you end up with girls n guys doing something non school orientated and they mix, people then get to know the other person and attraction occurs.

it’s important that they are attracted to you not age, also ideally you do the asking etc.

here in the UK we have under 18 clubs (as in dancing, night club type) and you end up with a fair mix of ages.

TechniCarl · Answer

Practically everyone is told they are mature for their age it means nothing as I can guarantee you are not prepared for the mature world

You are best dating people your age as otherwise it's illegal for the other person or you will regret it at some point

chriscdi · Answer

It's possible, when I was 16 I almost had a 18 year old girlfriend, I never asked her out and it all kinda went south, we liked each other but she turned out to be a best friends ex and I don't do that shit, even tho it's an ex, It's still rub off on me wrong so I broke it off either ways tho it's possible, I was also always into older girls too since I was around your age cause girls my age were just not mature enough for me back then and I knew I was mature for my age when older girls actually started liking me, it just seems better for me, now it might be completely different for you, I'm just saying

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

This is exactly why it seems like almost all women are with older guys, usually 4 to 5 years older. Sure there are exceptions for someone at or near the same age but that seems like the minority, at least in my area.

jessicake · Answer

Not so much that there’s something wrong with you for finding mature men attractive, but that there’s something wrong with the men who return that love. Someone who finds a 16 year old attractive at those ages cannot be mature nor healthy. If the there are mature kind boys around you but they’re shy, I’d say you probably gotta be the brave one and make the first move. I did and I’m the happiest I’ve been

lucas262 · Answer

I think most guys think it's weird dating anyone under 18.

The older guys will probably be more open after that, but my advise is to wait guys at 16 have no idea what their doing I sure didn't. It's a bunch of b. s petty drama and high-school esq nonsense. Trust me you won't miss these petty boys in like 4 years.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It's totally okay for you to date a senior. It happens all the time. But you just have to understand that they are older and more experienced than you are, so they can easily take advantage of you. You have to be strong willed and intentional in what you want and don't want out of that relationship.

Also, be aware of the fact that you will be going into a long-distance relationship very soon when he goes off to college. Which can be difficult. Either that or you might break up.

slatyb · Answer

No, it's not wrong. It's quite common.

Do you mean older like 18, still in school? That's fine, but don't let them persuade you into doing something you are reluctant to do (like sex).

Older like 26? No, don't date anyone out of high school. The adult men who want to date high-school girls are bad news.

I am a 16 year old girl wanting to date, but guys my age are dumb. Is it wrong that I like older guys?

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