Guys, how long would your patience last with a "High Maintenance" Girl?

[laurieluvsit]

Girls, Are you "High Maintenance"?

According to Joshua Sigafus, here are the signs of a "High Maintenance" Girl...

She’s Self-Obsessed
She Cares About What Other People Think
She Believes That She’s ‘Settling’ For You
She Treats You Like An Errand Boy
She Doesn’t Care About Your Timeline
She Doesn’t Have Many Good Female Friends
She’s Needy
She’s Controlling
She’s Not A Deep Thinker
She Makes Everything About Her
She is not happy with surprise gifts, she has to control the purchase.

Angelina Gupta"s definition of a "High Maintenance" Girl...

She has a constant "Sense of Urgency". She has to have something "right now!"
She has a "Sense of Entitlement". She deserves more than others, or at least deserves it sooner
She is "Not Self-Sufficient". She relies on you to fulfill her needs
She "Cannot Let Go". If she perceives that you have "wronged her" in any way, she is not soon to let you forget it.
She is an "Attention Please" girl. Your focus is to be constantly on her and if not then there is something wrong with you that needs to be fixed.
She is a "Drama Queen". The drama in her life, and now yours, never ends.
She has a "Closed Mind". She does not want you suggesting that there is anything that she can "do better". She is already perfect and that is what you should be focusing on.
She "Criticizes Your Dressing Style". You belong to her and are a part of her image around others, you must dress as stylishly as she does.
And speaking of Dressing Style, you can expect a big percentage of finances to be going toward keeping hers up to date.
She "Takes Forever" to get ready
She "Can Never Be Pleased". There is always something wrong that can never be fixed but she still expects you to try.
You are her "Personal Chauffeur".
"Materialistic" things make her happy - Temporarily
"She never shares" expenses, that is what you are for, of course

You have got to watch and listen to Mr Toby's music video "High Maintenance Woman". It is funny ... I AM NOT KIDDING! PLEASE!

OMG! YES! I was in a relationship with a girl once who fit many of those descriptions to a T, and I did finally lose patience with her!!

No, I am a very patient guy and just love my "High Maintenance" Girl

Yes, I am a "High Maintenance" Girl

Yes, I have a couple of those qualities but I don't think they are the ones that really make me a "High Maintenance" Girl

No, I am not at all a "High Maintenance" Girl

OTHER, see my comments below, or just open the "High Maintenance Girl" Survey

[Anonymous]

I AM a high maintenance now because of previous experiences in past. You think guys ain't opportunists and gold diggers?
If you're providing for guys or generous enough to pay more, then they become a gold digger. I dated a poor guy when 15, I was genuine and his friends told him to marry me, then take all my property. I hope they rot in hell.
My conditions are : no lying, no cheating, make me the priority, love me and pamper me. I won't be a gold digger but surely will never date any guy who is financially below me.

[laurieluvsit]

I totally agree with your assessment of anyone wanting to take advantage of you that way and what should happen to them!

[laurieluvsit]

... the same is true of an girl with the intent of doing that to a guy and there are many of those as well.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, girls and guys both. It's more of a character thing. But no matter who you are, being financially rich with a good and simple heart is very dangerous. People will literally try to take advantage of you. But if someone is decent enough to equally take the financial responsibility or even offer me more, then I can trust them. There are a lot of myths that middle class or poor guys are better. They're not, they're even worse because I've known bad incidents where most poor guys cheat on their bread winning wives. They leave after getting hands on half of the property. Or if they get promoted, they marry a hotter and younger girl ditching their loyal wife on the pit.

[Opinion Owner]

Some below your finance league guys and girls will try to take your full property as well.

[laurieluvsit]

Well, there are ways to protect yourself from that. Only property acquired after marriage is community and inheritance is not community, at least in the US.

This question I did some time ago might interest you :)

If you are from an extremely wealthy family, would you only date others from wealthy families? ↗

[Opinion Owner]

Checked it out!

[laurieluvsit]

Wonderful, you are so kind, hope you liked it, thank you :)

[Opinion Owner]

Ofcourse and shared my view too. 😊

[laurieluvsit]

I saw that! ... you are a sweetie :)

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you dear, it was really positive to chat. Good day :)

[Honesttguy]

I was born and raised in poverty. It does seem there is constant battle between rich and poor, I recognize it as a poverty mindset that is corrupting people at the bottom, they become greedy fuks and scam each other and steal its annoying. As someone who decides to grind his way up and out of that hole you have to distance yourself from them, they will have no problem dragging you down. Stay safe.

[Opinion Owner]

@Honesttguy sure, thank you

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

tbf the problem here is "guys who take advantage", not "guys who make less money than you" per se. I know guys who make less than their girlfriends but still insist on paying for dates, meals, etc and won't accept extravagant gifts that they know they couldn't reciprocate. I also have encountered very wealthy men who expect women to cowtow to them but give almost nothing in return. This is a problem of VALUES, not FINANCES. Find a guy who VALUES treating a woman well, and his finances will be a moot point, because however much or little money he makes, he'll always consider your needs and find ways to fulfil them. A guy who doesn't value your needs will find ways to weasel out of fulfiling them, even if he makes enough money to be able to afford all the finest clothes and jewellery and mansions. Unless, of course, your actual goal is just to get a guy who spends tons of money on you, but in that case your own values would be under the microscope here moreso than those of the guy who's credit card your trading your body for. (I'm not saying that's YOUR intent, I'm just saying, the logic cuts both ways depending on where people's values really lie, both men and women.)

[Opinion Owner]

@SomeGuyCalledTom thank you for giving the example of guys who still insist on paying even if they make less money. Intent and efforts really matter.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

For sure! To me it's less about "who pays for what", and more about just setting my own standards and then living up to them, regardless of shifting fortunes or circumstances. One of my standards is that "I pay for the dates to which I invite a girl". So if she wants to pay, then she can arrange her own date and then invite me along, with her intent to pay made clear. But if I approach her and say "I wanna take you to this place I love, I'll make the plans, you just bring your lovely company as always", then I intend to live up to that whether I'm spending £40, £100, or however much I've budgeted. I think the less money comes into the conversation around a date, the better time everyone has. Maybe that's just coz I'm British and we tend to downplay big displays of money, it's considered rude and kinda tacky to go round flashing wads of cash and acting like a hotshot, y'know? To me the best dates are the ones where the girl never actually notices how much (or little) I've spent because A) the money wasn't the point of the date, and B) what she remembers is how good she FELT in my company, not how good she felt about the money I budgeted for that particular date. Actually, I make a point to not spend money on girls who give "I want your money" vibes, whereas girls who don't make a big deal about the money, I'll happily spend more money on just because I want her to have a wonderful time with me, and not fretting over every penny makes it easier to achieve that outcome.

[LinaDaGoddess]

Wow!!!’ I can honestly say I am a lot of these… I once denied that I wasn’t “high-maintenance “ but I realized I really am. (According to this anyway)

[laurieluvsit]

Thank you for your honesty.

I think we all have some of those symptoms, at least at times if we're honest :)

[lightbulb27]

well, I loved someone like section one and gave to her for many years. i was screwed up in the head from childhood, if I had any self worth, I'd have run not walked. I was avoidign the pain of loss and she fit into my broken view of myself and knew how to play me. realize these high maint females can get away with murder after taking an unsuspecting/unaware guys life... we can't see their games when we are dunce. This is the realistic threat other women need to watch so their guy isn't taken from them. They are manipulative and are experts in the craft. "all about her"... yep, need, controlling, no female friends. nearly every category. if only there was a support group for men to pull them out of these traps. I had no support.

I was still inexperienced and stupid... had another girlfriend that defined section 2, and it lasted 4 years. Those traits are annoying and hurtful. "Criticizes my dressing style" was a real hurt for me... felt never good enough. Truth in it, but I wasn't that bad. It's really about "her" need to feel ok... her trashed self image. "takes forever to get ready"... yep... had to be put together else couldn't get out the door... then yelled at me for driving slow and getting us there late. I still recall feeling miserable inside while sitting at church with her.. misery. Should have lasted 1 month.

Going back I wouldn't want to have wasted all that time and wished I had dated early in life, sufferred to learn. avoidance costs. But I have to take the good in that it helps me to appreciate my girlfriend/fiance. She dresses quick, self assured and will share expenses and work, doesn't criticize me but encourages me to get nicer things and helps. Good qualities I may have taken for granted without understanding of what's "out there". She likes quality stuff and I was concerned for a while about that on jewlery but now I get her. She doesn't buy "junk", she buys real stuff, whether it be jewlery or food, and realistic about the cost. Doesn't buy volumes of junk, but few of good stuff... within realistic budget. That makes sense and I appreciate that.

[exitseven]

@lightbulb27 I spent a few years in a bad relationship because I didn't know what a good one looked like. It was an expensive lesson but I guess it was just part of the process. You sound like you are doing good so you can take it as a win.

[pass_the_celery98]

Honestly, let me be frank, younger guys in their 20s & 30s think with their dicks, myself included. The only difference is I am not acting upon every desire or doing stupid things that will get me in trouble. I mean there are times I want to punch someone in the face but it doesn't mean I will do it because there will be repercussions for me. With that said, my patience for a girl with high maintenance will only last when the sex starts to fizzle out. Trust me girls, guys can get tired of sex as well.

The same way girls will go after bad boys or super hot guys when many of those girls know it won't go anywhere after patiently waiting for that guy to change, eventually that girl moves on. I am not looking for a high maintenance girl. Should someone look presentable and attractive to the best of their ability (in a proper sense), yes they should. I think girls overall want to be pampered somewhat and be treated like a princess which I understand. However, when the focus is 100% on her then obviously there will be an issue, lack of trust, lack of communication, living a facade with a person who you are not happy with.

I think women naturally want more attention and I am not saying that in a rude way and I don't think that signifies a "high maintenance" girl. Girls and women tend to hang out more in groups of their gender. For me, I do everything alone now. My guy friends are married or in committed relationships, busy with their full time jobs and or family so I've learned to live a life of going to the mall, going to restaurants, going to the movies, going to sporting events & etc. alone. I don't need the spotlight on me, I'm okay if I am with a girl and she has more friends and tends to do more girls nights out and gets the attention on social media with likes and hearts. But as long as she knows I love her and she loves me back and we do things for each other and respect each other than it's fine. But even what I described if a guy is narcissistic and a girl is, it won't last, they will have constant fights. That's why I roll my eyes how some girls are flabbergasted by a guy's Instagram account where there are pictures solely on him.

I get it, it's social media, but have some variety, maybe address an issue that is plaguing this world or drop a quote that is inspiring. It does get frustrating when this world is me-centric, especially in this day and age.

[laurieluvsit]

"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished" ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

... :)

[humpbackjack]

Nope I’m not looking to date any high maintenance girl period I’m nice and polite but I’m dominant and won’t put up with a chick trying to play me like that there’s to many women out there that aren’t fucked up like that they might be fucked up in other ways as long as they don’t think they the queen of the world I can deal with most everything else and as long as they don’t come to expect it or take me for granted I like to spoil my woman and buy her nice things randomly just to let her know she’s appreciated and thought of

[t-8900]

Its not my fault or problem she doesn't live in the real world and refuses to fix herself. Im hoping to one day habe kids by her and raise them up together, not alongside them. Shr needs to grow tf up and realize she's no more special than yhe other girls around her. I couldn't even get through a first date with someone like this.

[AncientWisdom]

I would recognize this beforehand and never even bother if I saw all those qualities. The problem is every women I’ve ever met has at least one of those qualities at times. So that being said can you imagine a women who had all of those qualities they do exist and are very easy to tell and are instantly not even likable to me. The same way a dumb arrogant man is easy to tell. So my patience with these types is non-existent.

[fpmsn]

Depends how hot is she, of she is super hot we tolerate so much than an ugly girl. That is the same when it came to men, why Steve Aoki can cake people or some men can literally piss on some girls and it's ok but if you try to do it you will be in jail. Depends the value of the person.

[Not_Average]

High maintenance and self obsessed narcissism would be different in my opinion. What you just described a text-book narcissist. I wouldn't have any patience for these traits. I don't care how pretty you are, you'd be the ugliest girl on the planet to me if you showed these traits. Pussy is a commodity that isn't really that difficult to get in modern society. If that's all you offer, then what is your real value and purpose?

[Finchie40]

Not long at all , if I start feeling like I am the only one giving into a relationship and I become her constant punching bag , and she is very selfish my ass is walking away , If someone can’t remove selfishness and sacrifice for you how can you expect your partner to do the same for you? When I feel like I am treated like a convenience I will treat her the same. If I am not her priority she sure as hell won’t be mine unless she sucks and fucks good lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@Finchie40 Even if she's good at sex it still wouldn't be worth it.

[Finchie40]

True , I was just being silly with that comment lol

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, okay. 👍

[Aerissa_Jade]

Thanks for that list, now I know I'm the complete opposite, beyond like two things on that list none of the rest apply to me.

I guess that means I'm low maintenance.

[laurieluvsit]

... of course :)

[David_Kek]

"High Maintenance" is just another way of saying "I'm a dysfunctional person, and rather than growing up and bettering myself, I demand you accept me and my self-destructive behaviour".
I wouldn't let that type of child in an adults body into my life in the first place.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

so in other words the question is: "How long would you endure and stay in a toxic relationship."
Damn, even if she'd look like a 10/10 I'd never even get to the relationship part. I'd never let any women treat me like garbage and live with her

[TheorionMage]

AS YOU define her, it sounds like a situation of diminishing returns... for effort invested.
Think of the Fiancee stereotype Madeline Kahn in the comedy 'Young Frankenstein'
"Careful Dear, Taffeta... Love you!" :O

[Diodoro]

Lol I would never accept a girl like that.

I have a high degree of give a damn for my own quality of life/experience that I sincerely will kick any girl to the curb who doesn't seem to get and respect that message.

Idc about her upbringing, past relationships, what her life outside this looks like, her mood that day or whatever. I don't fuck with a girl that shits on my vibe.

[ACR130]

Never dated those girls and don't plan to 🙂 those girls are pretty unstable. I prefer a simple girl, one that's easy to be around and won't make shit complicated. Oh and they got to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, that's just a psycho that doesn't know reality

[Kaamraj]

As a man, if you are in a romantic relationship with a woman who is behaving "high maintenance" towards you (dismissive, unappreciative, subversive, etc) it means that your value is not high enough. If your value was much higher than hers by virtue of your socio-economic position, gravitas, reputation, and to a lesser extent looks then you could afford to disengage with her and the knowledge of this would attenuate her behaviour.

[Kilapan]

I don't like materialistic people. It is understandable if they are a couple of vices, for example if you like to go out to eat on a daily basis or if you like to travel. But if there are many things, it would make me unbearable. Especially if they are things that I don't like, like going to the stores.
Simplicity is one of the greatest virtues.

[FilmGuy93]

I have dated a high maintenance girl in the past. It was an alright experience; I would probably do it again, in the right circumstances. The only part I didn't like was the constant flexing and insecurity.

[mobiusforniner]

Nearly three years... i am probably the only guy who truly loves her. She hasn't had a boyfriend for over 10 years before me... that shouldve been a red flag

[Jamie05rhs]

My patience would last less than one second.

Women like that are one of the reasons why I'm not married yet. Because it's just a total boner-killer. Makes me want to have nothing to do with the female gender.

[TommyMountainFigure]

My patience ran out before the end of the question!