Why do guys do nice things for girls, only to flake on them?

[Anonymous]

It took me a while to realize this guy was interested in me bc I’m oblivious. He would always ask me for my type/who I liked. One day, he heard that I was hungry, and he bought me a meal (I don’t think he had his car that day - I think he walked). He also gave me some flowers that he found. Anyway, I offered to pay him back, but he didn’t respond. He and I went to the store to get things for a party that I was hosting, and he offered to pay for everything (including my groceries/toiletries). Anyway, he ended up not going to my party because he said that his classmate wanted to do a study session with him…

Updates

+1 y

I think the reason I’m so hung up on this guy is bc I’ve never had a guy treat me this way. Not even my ex

[20yearsolder]

Don't let the guy buy your stuff. The meal is acceptable. If you two are close enough to go shopping together and he's comfortable enough to offer to pay for everything, why aren't you comfortable enough to ask him that question? Why did you offer to pay for all this stuff for my party and then you flaked on me? If you like the dude tell him, he's probably oblivious whether you like him or not

[Asker]

He offered to pay for my things, but I didn’t let him. We aren’t that close, we just became friends.

[20yearsolder]

Thank goodness that you didn't allow him to buy your things. Are you interested in him?

[Asker]

I’m not sure. I’m 23 and he’s 4 years younger than me, and all of my friends are telling me not to go for him (bc of his age). But I’ve never had a guy treat me this way

[20yearsolder]

Your friends don't count, if you have feelings for a guy that treats you well, I've known 19-year-olds that were much more mature than a 23 year old. It's your decision, there's nothing wrong with exploring the opportunity

[Asker]

I would like to see how things go with him, but I don’t want to get my hopes up, since he has already flaked on me

[20yearsolder]

Communication, talk to him. Hey I think I like you and would like to see where it goes. I really didn't appreciate when you flaked on me though

[Realbanger87]

He didn't flake, his excuse sounds true

[Twalli]

He didn't flake on you.

[Asker]

Can you explain?

[Twalli]

He had to study.

[Asker]

So there’s a chance that he’s still interested?

[Twalli]

Probably, if he didn't go to the party without a reason, then maybe he's not interested, but he had a reason, regardless of whether or not you think it's good.