I just want an honest opinion from the guys. I find myself recently divorced after 10 yrs, raising 5 wonderful children who are my world. But, it seems like what's the point in dating because most men will think I'm just looking for a dad. They have a dad, I'm looking for someone to start my life over with, but I think most men would be too afraid or just plain out not want to be with a women who already has a family. Honest opinion, would you get in a relationship or date a decently cute 26 year women with 5 kids? lol ;)
(for those guys who couldn't answer unless you saw me and think because I have 5 kids I'm probably out of shape.. 5'1 110 and recently completed P90X I'm an ex Army wife so I know how to keep my body in shape ;)
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think men view that as a woman wanting a dad for her kids necessarily. I think their more inclined to view that as a huge commitment of your time, attention and mind, which are three things needed for a successful relationship.
Think of it in these terms: If you have ever had a sales job that required cold calling, you know that no matter how confident you are, you will have some apprehensiveness about cold calling. It will likely take you a few weeks to get your wind, but eventually you'll get comfortable. However, once you do get your wind, you'll likely want another job because cold calling is not typically a desirable occupation.
Not that men view you as a sales opportunity but they view you as a complex challenge where like it or not, they will have to compete with your kids for your attention at some point. Probably not all the time, and probably not often, but there will be points where there is a competition, and no guy wants to compete against someone's kids. Not only does it make them look like a jerk, but then it makes the relationship unfulfilling. You might have a plan to mitigate this, but simple and plain it's going to happen on occassion, no matter what you plan for.
Having said all that, I would have to say that I would find someone with five children undesirable for the simple fact that I would not have the relationship with that person that I desire to have in my life, and that would be unfulfilling for me. I'm not going to compete with someone's kids, they deserve their parents as much as they can get them, and I'm not going to interupt that. But in a relationship I need to have my growth with my partner that is uninterupted. If we have kids, that becomes part of our growth, but walking into a situation with that many kids limits the potential relationship drastically.1
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