Would you go on a date with girl who has 5 kids?

Question

I just want an honest opinion from the guys. I find myself recently divorced after 10 yrs, raising 5 wonderful children who are my world. But, it seems like what's the point in dating because most men will think I'm just looking for a dad. They have a dad, I'm looking for someone to start my life over with, but I think most men would be too afraid or just plain out not want to be with a women who already has a family. Honest opinion, would you get in a relationship or date a decently cute 26 year women with 5 kids? lol ;)

(for those guys who couldn't answer unless you saw me and think because I have 5 kids I'm probably out of shape.. 5'1 110 and recently completed P90X I'm an ex Army wife so I know how to keep my body in shape ;)

PHILR · Accepted Answer

for some reason I landed on this page with a lot of the same question as you've posted lol

(note : to reader this is a copy of a post from another questioner along same lines but is applicable here as well except possibly age grouping)

let me tell some don't mind at all , for example I'm one, my wife and I have been together now for 40 yrs. she had a 1 year old daughter at the time I met her 6 months latter we were married. had two more daughters . have 5 grandkids 4 boys and and a girl whose the youngest at present.

i think what I put here says it all on your questions. you said you wanted honest answers why or why not ,below is just food for thought take it for what its worth but*ts from my heart.

i know what I'm about to say on this is not popular thought in most girls in your age group (18-24)

the next guy chose from a differenttype guy than what your ex: was.

most likely he was one of the following types of a type.

he was controlling

maybe abusive word or physical

cheated (which also includes lieing(sp))

he was either a jock popular guy / badboy type / a player / or just a plain jerk all share some if not all of the above traits and more (negative type traits that is)

well what type of guy should you choose then?

well I was back in the 1960's girls would discribe me as "that nice sweet guy with the wavy hair"

ya, I was one of those nice guys that got over looked in high school by girls because I had the nice guy qualities. and we all know how girls in the age bracket of (14-24) what they think and feel about nice guys .

LOL ...

but consider this girls/women by the time they reach 25 or older (some maybe younger if smart)

realize that the nice guys weren't such a bad deal all along. most of these guys haven't as a rule changed one iota from when they were in high school.these women 25 and older also state on line and encourage younger women not to make the same mistakes they did and love their geeky nerdy sweet nice shy quiet guys to pieces

yet its also a proven fact that these same guys are better fathers, husbands ,and providers . also 95% of the time they do not cheat on their partners (they maybe at times cheated on but its rare)

you ask for honest answers to your questions , these are I know pretty expliet answers and detailed to a degree. yet I posted my expierence on this and I am a nice guy which wound upo with a wonderful women to boot. is our life a fairy tale ...lol far from it we have our ups and downs in this relationship but we work them out.

hopefully my post has been of some help to you make some wise choices this next time with a guy.

WaitingAtTheDoor · Accepted Answer

I don't think men view that as a woman wanting a dad for her kids necessarily. I think their more inclined to view that as a huge commitment of your time, attention and mind, which are three things needed for a successful relationship.

Think of it in these terms: If you have ever had a sales job that required cold calling, you know that no matter how confident you are, you will have some apprehensiveness about cold calling. It will likely take you a few weeks to get your wind, but eventually you'll get comfortable. However, once you do get your wind, you'll likely want another job because cold calling is not typically a desirable occupation.

Not that men view you as a sales opportunity but they view you as a complex challenge where like it or not, they will have to compete with your kids for your attention at some point. Probably not all the time, and probably not often, but there will be points where there is a competition, and no guy wants to compete against someone's kids. Not only does it make them look like a jerk, but then it makes the relationship unfulfilling. You might have a plan to mitigate this, but simple and plain it's going to happen on occassion, no matter what you plan for.

Having said all that, I would have to say that I would find someone with five children undesirable for the simple fact that I would not have the relationship with that person that I desire to have in my life, and that would be unfulfilling for me. I'm not going to compete with someone's kids, they deserve their parents as much as they can get them, and I'm not going to interupt that. But in a relationship I need to have my growth with my partner that is uninterupted. If we have kids, that becomes part of our growth, but walking into a situation with that many kids limits the potential relationship drastically.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If I were a dude, I wouldn't want to lol. Guess what? And I saw this from experience of single mothers. When they date a guy and the relationship gets serious, they'll want the guy to eventually be the dad of their kids. Whether married or not

ChildofGod1 · Answer

I Fell in love with a woman with 4 kids ( 12, 9,7,4 ) I love her Kids like if they are mine. All from different Guys. No baby daddy drama because none of them are in the kids lives or pay child support. I help her with getting her high school diploma and getting a job eventually helping her get her first apartment which she couldn't get because she couldn't afford or meet the leasing requirements so it was put under my name. She looked there alone with me seen her only 3 days a week since I have my own house and she did not want to move in. 2 months into this race she broke up with me because she said we were too serious. If we want two different things. She wants to be able to be free and live her best life that she doesn't need a man or woman or man I wants to show her three daughters that women don't need men. We reach an arrangement that she would get her life together and move out. I told her that I loved her very much I wanted to marry her but that's not what she wants she wanted to be free and single. Which we all know what that means. Shortly after that she got pregnant had an abortion because the man was another deadbeat that lied to her just like all the other guys she was within the past. I was there for her again. But you did start working on herself. Months passed and this year I still was paying all the bills and I mean all. At the end of the year starting gaining weight who found out she was pregnant again due date it was July 12th but this time she decided to keep the child and of course the baby daddy the fifth child is a married man I just had a child himself. She told me that I'm too much for a great man and she doesn't and also that she doesn't love. She doesn't want relationship or commitment. And I told her I don't want her to have all the benefits of me paying all the bills while she's out there playing the field. I will never date a woman with multiple children cuz it shows me there sexual immaturity don't understand why a woman 31 with children 12 to a newborn. But continues to say they're living their best life. Her favorite saying is I'll do who I want when I want whenever I want I answer to her is go ahead and get the hell out. She broke my heart and soul I love her children they call me papa which makes her furious. We all have our different situations. I'm a very stable loving loyal honest hard-working wear my heart on my sleeve type of man I have an amazing job make great money everything in life except a good woman. But the one thing that I know one night stand or hookup. I guess I'm one of the very few that wants something real to build something special that will not only in this life but in to the next. It Hurts me to say she talks bad about them in front of me she always ends it with I'm not talkin about. Simpson's house map in my feelings too much and I love too much I'm too perfect. Told me life isn't fair I should get used to it and that everyone cheats not everyone wants a real relationships. That I should stop living in Fantasyland. So as you can tell she's very verbally abusive because of what she goes there but I'm not her punching back and told her she has to figure it out because time is running out she needs to get out

yourstruly1983 · Answer

hello there friend, n boy r u in luck. I came across ur question by google. Im currently in the situation u r exactly in. im dating a 27 year old with 5 children ages 2,4,5,6 and 7. On top of that i have one of my own from my high school girlfriend and he just turned 12, so that makes a total of 6 kids. hmmmm where do i start? i met my current girlfriend at my job in 2013 after i was laid off from my last job, we didn't just start dating we were friends first, and somehow grew fond of each other. Six months past then we caught feelings, n next thing u know im living with her. thats my story to give u an idea, okay now pros n cons I've come across. cons: no time to spend one on one, money will be tight, have to work two jobs to reach dreams now, baby daddy drama, house always dirty, n people judging. now pros: never boring, house full of life, always will feel loved, and anything positive u can think of happens. Im cutttin it short since running out of characters. They r still men like me out there dont give up, cause once u find that right person everything falls into plCe. Think of it as god always giving u an extra help for doing a positive thing. What mean by that on mans point of view strange and eerie things started happening to me " yu can call it blesses" i know sounds crazy but it really happens. I would rather date a woman with kids, more mature n makes good choices. i love woman and hate girls. dont give up! thats what i always tell myself. let me know if u have questions, ill be happy to answer them for u if u have any u want to know from a mans side of being with woman with 5 kids.

SingleDadof5 · Answer

I'm needing opinions on something similar. I am a single dad of 5. My ex left me and the kids for a break which ended up permanent (her choice). She's been out having fun and got a boyfriend. He's 28, she's 33. He says he doesn't want kids, nor to meet ours. My ex doesn't plan on introducing the kids to him but did let him meet our daughter then spent the night at his (our daughter alone in the spare room).
When they met, he knew she had kids but they didn't stay with her. I found out two months into the relationship and thought if she's got time for a boyfriend she's got time for her kids. So to my surprise she stepped up to the mark and takes 2 of them 6 days a week.
Since this has happened (3 months ago) he's tried to split with her at least twice, possibly 4 times if her tears are anything to go by. I know he's suggested letting her go to save her stress, which I read as trying to let her down gently.
I'm looking for stability for my kids. I'm sure my ex wants this to work, but I'm not convinced he does. in my opinion he's young, looking for fun, will probably want kids in the future (I don't see my ex wanting more, she couldn't take the 5 we had without me really hitting hard with a reality check), I can't imagine his parents are ecstatic and, although they want their son to be happy, will probably want grandkids. And if they did have kids, he must wonder if she'd walk out and leave him as she left me with them.
Currently she sees him twice, maybe three times a week, one of those overnight if she doesn't have the kids.
Does this seem like a committed relationship to you guys?

steve1122 · Answer

No problem at all with kids. I've dated plenty of women who have kids. The only hard part sometimes is being able to schedule date time with them. You have to understand that their kids are important to them and they aren't just going to suddenly drop them to spend time with you.

But... since I am 6'4", I probably wouldn't date you anyway- I bet you are really cute, but a 15" difference in height is just so awkward :)

kheserthorpe · Answer

Well, I'm married, so I'm trying to answer in theory.

I think it depends what you're looking for. You said 'I'm looking for someone to start my life over with'. Wow. You've got quite a life they'd be joining. If you were just looking for some fun on nights the kids were with your dad, that would be easier to find.

I have three kids. If I were divorced, I think I'd rather date a woman with kids, I just think we'd understand each others priorities and life better. 5 might make me gulp, but I do like 5'1 smokingly hot bodies ...

I wish you all the best.

The challenge, as you know, is you can't casually date someone with 5 kids. You either are FWB, or its getting serious FAST and that's an instant family.

Mello500 · Answer

Well I think this is the best opinion. I literally just got out a relationship 7 months ago with my wife we have 1 child I got with my ex who has 5 kids oldest is 14 youngest is 3. Nnn I would tell u that yes if your a good person any man would want you. In my opinion if u n ur ex don’t have some boundaries and just to be blunt if ur kids are not respectful any man will run away. But if u n ur ex got boundaries n ur making good life choices I’m I don't know if you have a career but if u do and u have been raising ur kids right. Any guy u vibe with will be with u

martyfellow · Answer

Once went on a date with a woman who had 3. Datng such women is interesting. But a LTR? For one thing, their whole life is their kids, of course, and if you don't have any yourself...well, I just listened to her.

Fortuantely there are singl dads in that situation they can hope to connect with.

beastman88 · Answer

nah, my ex has 2 kids and she basically wanted me to step up and be dad. cute kids but fuck that noise. kids werent even the issue, she was. she's a mess, 35, STILL living with her mom and aunt, barely had a job. she's basically living like mexicans at her moms and she's basically the house nigger. god, what the hell was i thinking? if they were grown up and out of the house itd be a different story

EvilPimp · Answer

Find a guy who wants kids but can't have them (shooting blanks) or a single dad. That's probably the best solution for you because every guy knows that a single mom is going to put her kids first and that's nothing wrong with that. I don't have kids and I don't think I would want to be with a woman who already has a family.

DocClassic · Answer

i honestly don't think I would. that's a lot more kids than I ever want and really I'm just too young in my opinion to have something like that in my life

lee-cooper · Answer

aww you have an elementary school in your own house ;) I would date a woman with a billion kids.

Lance1965 · Answer

I would consider it but an woman and her 5 kids will come first over any guy so realistically the best he can hope to be number 7. That is a tough pill to swallow for any guy.

dudeman · Answer

no, I deserve a girl that's all mine, try looking for older men 40+ who don't want kids anymore and would like to have a younger girl

Suchagoodman · Answer

I'm a single father of five so we should get together!

Really though, I would definitely date you but I love kids so 10 wouldn't bother me. However, I doubt I would be so good with kids if I didn't have any. Good luck to both of us!!

firexice · Answer

i won't date a girl with 5 kids tbh : )

Useless_man · Answer

Just I wonder why 5 kids 😀

Would you go on a date with girl who has 5 kids?

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