Am I overthinking or has he lost interest?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy for about a month, we met twice. Ever since the second date, he stopped responding and initiating as much. I just leave him with the message until he responds. Both times we met, we agreed that we had a good time.

The first time a conversation fell flat, I reached out on the third day, we talked for a week again daily, I asked if he was interested in meeting again, to which he said he was. Then the weekend came again, we stopped talking for about a day before I reached out (again) and asked what he did, he has yet to respond to this. I saw him come online, read my message, and then go offline again, which is what he's been doing for the past week rather than reply immediately when he saw the message like he used to. I know he was with family, and before that, he was with friends but in the two weeks we initially started talking and met up the first time, he always found time to initiate/respond promptly.

I'm tempted to just leave it at this time being the last time I reach out, but I'm not sure if it's the right way to go.

[Iron_Man]

This sounds like a lot of growing pains or a complete bust in the making I’m not sure which one it is but it sounds like even if you did have a relationship there’s gonna be drama with communication factors it’s up to you if you’re willing to deal with all this

[Asker]

You're absolutely right about the future having communication drama. I do need clear communication, so it's not the best fit if he can't be honest with me.

[Iron_Man]

I definitely agree and support you

[NZGirl07]

I think it sounds like he has lost interest, and you deserve better! If I a guy really likes you he will reach out and make the effort. Leaving you on read is definitely rude, and disappearing for ages is not fair on you. I'd say leave and find a great man who really likes you and wants to spend time with you! If he is like this now he would continue to be even if you managed to start dating.

[Asker]

I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he may reply over the course of the day but the lack/change of communication, and change in pattern is very off-putting

[NZGirl07]

I think since you have to put the effort in of asking to meet up this in combination with his bad texting shows he isn't interested. Benefit of the doubt isn't always a good idea!

[Asker]

That's very true, thank you for responding

[PrettyPriya]

Sounds like he may have lost interest. However, a lot of guys are just not into texting. My SO is one of them. It is like a battle to get him to respond sometimes. Was he always slow to respond or this is new?

[Asker]

It's semi-new, I noticed the change after our second date (almost two weeks ago), which is why I asked if he was interested in meeting again for the third time.

[PrettyPriya]

Any response about that third meetup?

[Asker]

He said he was interested in meeting the same day I asked.

[PrettyPriya]

If it were me, I would send a message to the effect: "Hey, if you are still interested in meeting up again, I am free these days (name a couple). Hope to hear from you and look forward to seeing you again."

So, that does a couple of things. You have put the ball in his court for starters. You also reminded him that he DID say he was interested in meeting again.

If he doesn't answer back, you can safely assume he lost interest. If he does, it may point to the fact that he isn't big into texting. As mentioned, I see a lot of guys that just don't really care to text. Don't know why.

[BraveRiver]

Walk away. Do you want to be in a relationship you’re chasing trying to prove yourself or one where he’s coming to you and validating you?

Nothing healthy happening, lucky for you nothing invested so no harm no foul. Add it to the experience list to get closer to where you’re going.

[Asker]

I completely agree with you. My approach is usually "reach out twice then leave it" but by the second time, I've started losing interest anyway.

[Wise4myage]

I think he's lost interests and your approach to the situation is perfect.

[Asker]

Thank you. I'll stick to that plan then

[Wise4myage]

Nice. 👍