Contact with previous affairs?

[Anonymous]

It is very important for my boyfriend to keep in touch with his previous affairs. Some of them dont live where we are living now, he is just texting with them, and to me they are just random girls hi has been hooking with. It seems to me that it is important for him to tell me about these affairs and that hi is texting with them, and he says that he is just friends with them now. At the same time he seems to find it uncomfortable when I talk about my previous boyfriends and affairs, which is also why i dont initiate contact with them any more as we are in a serious relationship, and i dont want to upset him. I also told him that dont talk much with my previous boyfriend and affairs, because i can see that this upsets him. I also told him that if these previous hook ups are important to him, he dont have to tell me everytime he is talking with them, how fun and cool they are, as i find this a bit uncomfortable. he seems to get upset when i show that i dont fint this very cool to hear about, even though i dont put any restricions on this, i mean, he can keep in touch with them, he just dont need to rub it in my face. Thing is, that my boyfriend seems to have a need to tell me about these girls, and how great they are. I told him that I dont need to here all of this, and he seems to get to upset, or even angry, when i imply that this is not very interresting for me to hear about. Im a pretty laid back girl, not jealous and i know im attractive with guys. At times i wonder if he wants me to feel insecure or something. I think the big difference between us is that i dont want to make him upset, which is why i dont text with my exes anymore. My boyfriend dont seem to care about this, and I dont see his need to stay in contact with previous affairs and keep talking about them to me, and i wonder if this is really okey. Can someone help me debunk this?

[ChrisMaster69]

God lot of words, I think The short version is you don’t mind it, however you hate how he rubs your face in how great his ex’s were?

i had my ex wife over at Christmas, with girlfriend staying, and bunch of others,

It was pretty fine and my previous ex girlfriend and ex wife were / are best mates.

i was at times the odd one out lol.

The big thing is I have never said to one how much better or different the other is to them.

If a person is dating someone, then they should not go on about how previous GFs or bfs were different and or better. Basically doing comparisons means they likely should not be in the current relationship.

i really don’t care about a persons history as long as it does not impact the present.

[Asker]

yes, correct. Thanks for your comment :)

[ChrisMaster69]

No problem, good luck working it out one way or the other

[Passing_by]

Oh please... can this situation be more complicated unnecessarily? You lost me at first few sentences of the description of your question.

You DO NOT any kind of contact with any past hookup (s), ex (es) and/or people you were interested in but never got to go further with them.

Even when he's doing so, it's very hypocritical of him when you do the same thing.


End this bs already.

[Asker]

end the bullshit relationship? or my bullshitting? :)

[Passing_by]

This relationship

[Asker]

thanks for your opinion :)

[PrettyPriya]

So, he is contacting ex boyfriends if I understand this correctly?

[Asker]

ex girlfriends/girls he has been sleeping with etc. Dont get why he gets upset/sad/uncomfortable when i talk to him about my past, and then he gets angry when i show him that it makes me uncomfortable when he keeps telling me about his past. don really know how to deal with this..

[PrettyPriya]

He is insecure in my opinion. It sounds a bit like a defense mechanism. If you bring up your past that makes him uncomfortable, he goes to his to feel better about himself. It is incredibly immature. I am about 99% sure this is what he is doing. @chrismaster69 do you think I am right here?

How to deal with it? That is a great question. You can only talk to him about it. However, I really don't think he is going to change. You cannot change someone. That is only something he can get over.

[Asker]

thanks for your comment, this is also my hypothesis. i have to talk more about this with him i guess :)

[Trevelyan88]

When you say affairs... Do you mean that you and your boyfriend have cheated on each other multiple times before?

[Asker]

no, people we have been dating/sleeping with etc.

[Sam_The_Savage]

You're more stupid here...
When he talking with his ex's than why you're stoping?

[Asker]

because i can see that he gets stressed out, and it seems to make him upset in some way. when I for instance tell him boyfriend that my ex sent med a message, wondering if im doing fine and just updating on his life, he just replies "okey" in a sad tone. He wants to know all about my contact and my previous relationships, at the same time I see that it makes him uncomfortable. I dont want to make him uncomfortable, so i dont initate contact with my previous boyfriends.

[boobliker]

he still want's them I had a girl for six years who we still fuck it fun to have a buddy out of town

[SignedAutographs]

I think this is all bullshit

He doesn't need them, YOU ALLOW HIM TO