Why would a guy generally not approach shy girls?

Question

Why would a guy generally not approach shy girls?

kahouuu · Accepted Answer

Maybe cus we’re fucken clueless!! && we get uncomfortable around men, especially if we find them attractive.

I’m supperrrr shy!!! Before I got into a relationship w/ my boyfriend. I was friends w/ him for a year &&&& apparently he was flirting w/ me since day one &&& I wasn’t aware of it 😭 we would hang out once a week for 12+hrs - would always take me out to eat, hang out & do diff activities- always pay
He even got me a small gift for Christmas and we had just met a few months prior.

A year later I decided to ask him if he liked me.
My dumbass didn’t knw 😭
I asked him why he never said anything.
He told me he didn’t want to ruin the friendship && he said he was making it obvious that he was interested in me😭😭
He gave me eye contact, touch, attention, make plans w/ me, pay for me, he even told me “if I saw u as a friend I would only hang out for 2-3 hrs and call it day buttttt we always spent 12hrs together”

I don't know man , shy girls are fucken clueless && it’s a lot of work!! We might even miss an opportunity to date a really great guy. Have PATIENCE W/ US!!
I’m lucky my boyfriend was patient , even tho that mf was seeing other girls while we were friends😤 but I can’t let it bother me since I was stupid to not see all of the signs
He was gettting tired of showing interest in me and I wasn’t reciprocating it back. So he kept his options open and saw other girls.
Till I asked him what he felt for me. He told me bout every move he always tried and it never work 😂

Shy girls are complicated in an innocent way 🤷🏽‍♀️

Guccigabbana18 · Accepted Answer

Because shy girls give off the vibe of not interested

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Some guys don't like shy girls, though that's a small minority.

The main reason most guys don't approach shy girls is because shy girls don't give off any signs or body language that shows that she has any interest in the guy. Instead, her body language is exactly the same as a girl who isn't interested in the guy or even one who is condescending towards the guy - she doesn't smile at him, looks away if he looks her way, doesn't respond positively if he's talking to a group of people she's near, etc.

It takes a super confident guy to approach a girl that is almost certain to reject him - which is why guys look for positive signs of interest before approaching most of the time.

It's not your fault if you are shy, but guys see your body language and they immediately think "she's not interested" - they will never just assume that you are just shy - so they give up before they risk too much.

My recommendation is to find a way to communicate to the guy that you are shy, and not disinterested, if a guy you like is obviously looking for signs of interest. Write him a note or have a friend tell him. Once he knows that the problem is shyness and not disinterest, he'll usually feel comfortable and confident enough to step up his efforts.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

It’s often the same reason not to chat to girls on their own, it can come over as just scary n creepy.

i (and guys I know) will pretty much disengage chatting to a shy girl as it’s a bit unfair on her having some guy chatting to her and she’s not comfortable with the situation.

after you have chatted to a few shy girls, you soon learn it’s best to gently get to know them first and keep any conversation short to hello, hi, good morning etc and then gradually build it up as she settles a bit.

short version is we know it will unsettle her and likely freak her out,

KaschKarryskype · Answer

Trying everything, not to scare them. Even if they're not shy. There are some really sick people, walking this earth. And they are hard to distinguish, from a good guy. And, the cost of being wrong is incomprehensible. I think to myself, that's somebody's everything. Someone else's daughter, sister. Someones Mother. It isn't their title, that I respect. It's the thought, that the ones we love, could be treated with less than the utmost respect. I'd hope a good guy was around, so to be there in my place.

Intothevoid666 · Answer

Women seem it’s like the easiest thing in the world to strike up a conversation with a random stranger especially after you’ve been told over and over and over and over again that they don’t want to be approached in public. How do I read shit like this and then also continually here women say how much they hate when men approach them? Like is the lack of ability to introspect for most women really this bad.

Slartybartfast · Answer

My friend said "The most attractive thing about my wife is her attraction to me"

In that context a women who shows no interest in a man isn't attractive to him.

I suppose if a guy is just looking for sex her interest doesn't matter to him, she's just another body, but for men looking for relationships not showing interest is definitely going to make him avoid them.

I call this Playing "hard to want"

crossdressingrihno · Answer

They probably get scared easily I guess?
Starting a conversation with one can be difficult.

From my dating experience I've learned shy girls make great partners and can be great on the long term but are a pain in the ass to communicate with in the beginning however I've learned if you want to get through the door the best way is to just tone down the confidence and take a slow but inviting approach

JSmuve · Answer

Because the way society is set up nowadays, guys are shamed from approaching girls unless she shows strong indicators of interest beforehand. Do shy girls do this towards guys? Absolutely not. They're too shy for that. So without some strong prior display of interest on your part, you're not going to get approached. Or perhaps women need to start encouraging guys to cold approach and being more receptive to it when it happens. 🤷

Twalli · Answer

Shy girls generally don't engage in a conversation. Guys learn, or are told, that the more receptive to talking with you, the more likely they are interested in you. So we don't see that you'd be receptive to a conversation which probably means you're not interested.

TheAnon1 · Answer

We (or at least I) can’t necessarily distinguish whether or not she’s interested. What sign as a shy girl would you give to a guy to let him know that you’re interested?

spartan55 · Answer

Because they don't know if she is interested or not. If she can't even muster up a basic sign of interest most guys won't bother. I'm talking about things beyond just staring at each other.

TheLoneTerran · Answer

If a woman is indicating via body language that she does not want to be bothered, I just make a mental note to make sure I give them space.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Look at it from our perspective; shy girls aren't comfortable expressing their interest. Why would we bother approaching girls who don't seem comfortable with us approaching them?

ArrowheadSW · Answer

What a guy might be thinking is, "This lady is shy and I don't know how to approach her. She might be too shy to say anything or she might get nervous."

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Not wanting to bother, annoy, or harass her. I don’t really approach, but I’m certainly not going to approach a girl who isn’t giving me any signs of interest.

Gollum · Answer

The problem is that in today's "me too" world a guy can quickly get in trouble even if he just wants to ask a girl out. If the girl happens to be shy and through body language, posture clearly communicates disinterest any sane guy would stay clear.

ImNoOne111 · Answer

Because we try to see the body language and it is constantly saying "no, go away". So we rather not bother the girl

Markie-mark · Answer

Cause we don't know nothing about shy girls beside that we know nothing.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Shy women give off vibes of fear and like they don't want anyone to bother them or make people feel like they are bugging them.  I certainly don't find shy women attractive.

Juxtapose · Answer

Sorry but you're only as attractive to me as your interest in me. If I don't see any interest then I'm not biting. I don't like initiating anyway, I'm too autistic for that shit.

Iron_Man · Answer

Because he is also shy and most shy girls don’t say anything and we don’t understand what you’re thinking

lightbulb27 · Answer

Fear.  Insecurity Lack of confidence  It’s not all about her or her shyness either.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Because they tend to have panic disorders and will utilize that and the law to put men away just for having caught feelings. I speak from experience.

slatyb · Answer

Because they appear uninterested. Why approach a woman that won't engage in conversation?

genericname85 · Answer

well look at it from the eyes of a man. how does he know she's shy? to him "being shy" and "not interested" looks the same.

moviedude714 · Answer

I would believe a lot of them don't want to have to have to deal with having to carry all or most of the conversation or interaction

jasco · Answer

He's intoverted himself and usually doesn't like taking the lead or its a turn off to him

zagor · Answer

If she is shy she is probably not giving any signals that she wants to be approached.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Shy girls specifically? Because they are not his type.

DWornock · Answer

Because it is a girl's responsibility to make the first move.

Anonymous · Answer

Any and all the same reasons women don't approach us.

TallAnon · Answer

Not interested, no reason to, not the right circumstances, nothing to talk about, having a girlfriend.. I can keep going..

AFretiredTXn · Answer

Probably not expecting to get any response form them the way he wants.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why a girl would generally not approach shy guys

Anonymous · Answer

She doesn't say anything and you think you're bothering her and she doesn't like you. You try talking to her and she says one word, you think ok, she's not interested.

sam_1918 · Answer

i like shy girls but its harder for me to approach cause i idont get any vibe from them that they like me or im just a wierdo

OddBeMe · Answer

Because he’s shy too. And shy people are falsely considered “vain” or “uppitty”.

anton_dee · Answer

I would think she is proud not shy. So I would avoid rather than get embarrassed

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Well either he's shy himself, or he has and she never has anything to say.

Shy_Steve · Answer

The same reason you Girls don't, Because we are Terrified of Rejection.

Jltakk · Answer

Probably the same reason girls don't approach shy men.

Anonymous · Answer

They're not worth it. Frequently they're just narcissists.

clemdenim · Answer

i smile, if they smile back, i am patient, it pays off

Reboundinng · Answer

This hit me hard tbh, I’m not shy, And I atrract all types of dooshbags.

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry but shy girls are more awkward and less passionate... They always make you question stuff

ohshee · Answer

You must be very beautiful to

glennos89 · Answer

insecurity maybe? Or also being shy🤷🏼‍♂️

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

You come off as frigid and uninterested.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Doesn't no how to approach you

Wise4myage · Answer

Because they are shy themselves.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

Maybe he is accustomed girls approach him.

In_Trance · Answer

Because he doesn't like shy girls

justsomemale · Answer

Resting [insert bad word here] face

Anonymous · Answer

Um, maybe because he's shy?

Dat-Alpha-Lion · Answer

Her body language wouldn’t be conducive to it

Yucy_Gluttony · Answer

Maybe he shy too!

CJ_DAWG_24 · Answer

Bc Men like confidence in a girl

jamartheg · Answer

I approach no one

Chthou95 · Answer

Why should they

Why would a guy generally not approach shy girls?

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