How to ask a guy to define the relationship?

[Anonymous]

Without sounding stupid. We have been on dates, kissed. There is chemistry. I have kids he doesn't. He is also 8 years younger then I am. The kids ND ag thing he knew before we began the date, etc. We have been talking for about a month though. Is it to soon to ask for a DTR or is it time to ask? I just want to know I'm not wasting my time on someone I'm falling for. Or if even how I should ask out of the blue

[Adam1978]

That's is something you probe for when you date, how well does his goal match your lifestyle with kids and all. If it doesn't he will not be looking for anything serious. But might stay around for sex aslong as it fits him.

[Asker]

So what should I ask r how should I ask it, so I'm not sounding crazy or "moving to fast". Or do I need to wait another month nd see where it goes?

[Adam1978]

You just ask questions without implying you need to be a part of it or it's something that needs to happen right now. You should know what he does now in his life, that would follow by a question what the next move, when you got enough jigsaw pieces of how he sees the future it's quite clear if you are a part of it or not.

[wa1t1ngFuture]

do you really love me? are you ready to sacrifice for me? do you want to obey / respect all my words. are you ready to be with me forever?

[Changiis07]

Yes you should always know where you stand with a guy so you don't waste your time

[Asker]

How do you ask something like that out of the blue then?

[Changiis07]

I want to talk to you about us and set up a time to meet up. Then ask him what his plans with you are? tell him you like him but want to know if it's going somewhere otherwise you will be okay. Don't let him know you like him so much either. There's some real good videos on YouTube but I'm at work at the moment. You can YouTube Matthew Hussey or Matt Boggs they both have great advice for this type of situation.. you can type matt boggs relationship status or something along those lines

[Asker]

Omygosh ty. IV watch more than one video of his. But it helped:)

[WhitneySnow]

Tell him you wanna talk about making things official

[UniquelyBasic]

Just tell him you want to know where the relationship stands as you dont want to waste your time on something that isn't serious.

[LazerBean]

Just ask. Someone looking for a real relationship will understand.

[Guy13]

What’s our status? How/where do you see our arrangement?

[Iron_Man]

he hasn't asked you out yet?

[Asker]

Like on dates, lunch and dinner dates, and when I moved in to my new place he got me wine. He very sweet. But we haven't really defined it. I asked what he was looking for before we even started talking and he said " I didn't want to put to much pressure on it. Just let it go where it did naturally. If it's something more then great. If it didn't work out it not the end of the world"
Should I wait nother month, or ask. I feel like I'm trying to rush things when I'm not I just like to know where I stand I guess.

[Iron_Man]

The true test will be if he starts asking for sex just don't give it up and if he sticks around that's a good sign

[Asker]

What if it's passed that lol it was a mutual thing tho. He didn't really ask. He asked me for lunch and I had things come up and honestly I was scared to date so I went out to lunch a few times and then we hung out and yah... But he bring up sex and we text all through out the day/night when we can. So I'm positive its not sex he is after. He wouldn't waste his whole days, and or his whole vacation to make sure he messaged me.

[Iron_Man]

Huge mistake that's like Why by the cow when you can get the milk for free of course he doesn't want to commit he's already getting sex without the commitment this way he gets sex and then when he feels like it he can walk away at any given notice because you're not committed and owes you no explanation

[Asker]

So how should I ask?

[Iron_Man]

Just ask him what are we I'm not an ATM Bank where you cash in and cash out if you know what I mean

[Iron_Man]

You don't want a friends with benefits

[Asker]

No I don't lol

[Anonymous]

Abbreviations don't save time.